This is my first Naruto story and it is not a very pleasant one.

This is Naruto's past. The first three chapters take place when Naruto's only six, but then there is a time-skip that will take him up to the start of the series with the rest of the characters. It will lead to an eventual SasuNaruSasu pairing.

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

Warning: This story contains disturbing descriptions of child-abuse. It will be disturbing and and may possibly triggering for people who have suffered abuse in the past. Please do not read this is you are sensitive to such material.

Quote:

"People fear death even more than pain. It's strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, the pain is over. Yeah, I guess it is a friend."

- Jim Morrison

"The only antidote to mental suffering is physical pain."

- Karl Marx

Naruto was extremely excited about being adopted. He did his best to sit still on the chair that was high enough for him to swing his legs back and forth. He didn't catch the annoyed expression of the secretary until the man finally said, "Quit fidgeting."

Naruto pulled his legs up onto the chair with him, and began to bite his nails instead, needing to express his nervousness somehow. His head was filled with plans and ideas about the future. He had seen families before, he knew how much they cared about each other and how they would hug and kiss and play games. He had seen Christmases and birthdays that he'd never really been able to celebrate before.

He was only five years old, but he had already run away from the orphanage three times because of how little he got along with everyone there. He couldn't place why he didn't get along with them. He didn't realize that it was difficult to get along with the people that hated him. All he knew was that no matter what he said or did people would get upset with him.

So the orphanage had actually set about little ads offering him for adoption. Naruto didn't realize exactly how unusual this was, or how angry it made the people who claimed to care about him. To send out an advertisement offering Uzumaki Naruto as a child looking for parents to take care for him.

It had taken about a week and a half and then the woman in charge had smiled at Naruto (and he would've been able to count the number of times that this had happened on one hand- had he known how to count) and told him that a wonderful couple were coming to pick him up the next morning.

He was going to have a family.

He'd done his best when he'd gotten dressed that morning, trying to comb his hair with his fingers and pat it down into place. He'd carefully washed his face and neck, and scrubbed beneath his nails. The woman in charge had given him a new outfit to wear and Naruto took great pains to keep it clean during breakfast.

He had one friend in the orphanage, a little girl named Sissy. They'd celebrate holidays together by giving each other little trinkets they'd found, even though they usually broke shortly afterwards and he'd crawl into bed with her during the nights when one of them had a nightmare. She had sighed enviously when she heard that he was going to have a home and she'd given him a kiss on the cheek and a rock that she'd found in the shape of a heart when they'd been outside. "I'll miss you," she whispered to him, "but I'm glad that you found people to love you."

The couple that picked him up were attractive. They both had lovely features and they both were in good shape and well-dressed.

"You must call me mommy," the woman said with a firm smile as she leaned down in front of Naruto and brushed a hair from his eyes. "And you must call him daddy."

The man gave Naruto an extremely faint smile.

Naruto smiled back at them hesitantly and felt slightly reassured when their smiles didn't fade. "Okay…mommy," he said, relishing the foreign word.

The woman's smile tightened for a moment as did her grip on his hand, but she released both before they became too painful. "Your daddy and I have a brand-new bedroom all ready for you at home. You'll love it. Are you ready to come home with us?"

Naruto smiled, feeling shy and happy for the first time in his very short life, and nodded.

They owned their own home with a full-yard and Naruto looked around for any toys or trikes, but didn't allow himself to feel discouraged when he didn't see any. So long as he had his very own parents…

The neighbors glared at him, but he didn't notice and mommy just gave them a slight assenting nod before continuing inside.

Naruto's room was at the end of the hallway. He was a bit surprised when he looked inside. There was no bed for him as best he could tell, instead there was a large, fancy pink crib with faded pink sheets decorated in teddy bears. There was a white dresser to the side, with a matching train of bears in tutus on the shelves. He could see a few toys in the corner, but they didn't look like they were meant for him, they were old and seemed too babyish.

"This is where you'll be sleeping," said mommy, "I'll put you in bed and then you will stay there until I come get you in the morning."

"Um…" Naruto began hesitantly, "Where am I going to sleep?"

"In the crib, Naruto," mommy said with a little laugh, "Don't worry about the sides being too high I'll put you in it."

"Oh. But I can sleep in a big-kid bed. I did at the orphanage."

"Well this isn't the orphanage, Naruto, here you are going to sleep in this bed."

He did his best to clean himself and his teeth in the bathroom.

Naruto was excited for the going to bed part of the evening. He'd seen it through windows, how both parents would come to the bed and pull the blankets around the child and then kiss them before turning off the lights and leaving the door open.

He'd wanted to be a part of that ritual for a very long time.

He stood beside his new bed and waited until mommy walked in. "Time for bed, Naruto."

With that she lifted him into the crib and handed him a faded baby blanket that was also pink. "See you in the morning," she said.

Naruto had a very empty feeling in his stomach. "A-are you going to give me a kiss good-night?" he whispered softly.

Mommy froze by the door before turning with a quick jerk. Naruto felt startled for a moment but then mommy's eyes changed back to almost-normal. "A kiss?" she said with slight amusement, "Why not?"

Naruto tilted his head up, expecting the lips to graze his forehead warmly. He was completely unprepared for the mouth that jammed sharply against his or the tongue that slid roughly over his lips. He gasped lightly as he pulled back and stared at her. After a moment's pause mommy smiled. "Good night, Naruto," she said before closing the door tightly behind her, leaving the room in complete darkness.

He was awake for a few hours before mommy came to get him.

"I'm going to work soon, so after you eat I'm going to put you back in the crib to make sure you don't hurt anything while I'm gone."

"I won't touch anything," Naruto said softly as he followed mommy to the kitchen.

She placed a plate with some banana slices on it in front of him as well as a packaged breakfast bar, "The banana is breakfast, but the bar is for you to eat while I'm away, so don't eat it now."

"Can I come with you to work?" he asked.

She laughed and shook her head. "They don't want distractions there, Naruto, and you need to stay in one place."

"Can I just stay in the house then, and not just the crib?"

"We don't have time to talk about it. Eat your breakfast so that I can take you back."

Naruto spent the next several hours in the bedroom crib. He didn't know how long he was going to be there so he didn't eat the breakfast bar for a long time, just in case. He still hadn't opened it when mommy returned, even though his stomach was growling.

He knew how to deal with a growling stomach, he'd dealt with it all the time, after all. That's why it was important to keep food for when you knew that you were gonna need it.

He could hear mommy wandering around the living room and then opening the refrigerator and standing there for awhile. His stomach growled again.

"Mommy?" he tried.

The refrigerator door closed and mommy appeared at the door. "Oh Naruto. I forgot that you were here. Daddy will be home soon."

She crossed the room and picked him up before setting him down very quickly. "There are some toys if you want to play with them," she said, gesturing towards the pink infant toys.

"Actually, could I have some food first?" he said, "I'm hungry."

Mommy frowned. "Dinner won't be until later. I don't have time to get you anything."

"Oh."

"It's very rude of you to ask me," mommy said then, irritation creeping into her voice. Then she frowned deeply, "You need to be punished."

Naruto was startled. "But…why?"

"Apologize now. You're not allowed to question me either."

"I," Naruto said hesitantly, a sickening feeling in his stomach, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…upset you."

Mommy snorted, "Is that what you think the problem is?"

Naruto didn't say anything for a moment, "I'm sorry for…" he faded into silence.

Mommy rolled her eyes. "Hold out your arms," she said softly.

A slight shaking began and he slowly held out his arms. Mommy reached out to the delicate pastel dresser and picked up a heavy, metal hairbrush with soft bristles. Then she turned and took hold of Naruto's right arm and swiftly brought the brush down, striking his soft skin harshly. Naruto cried out as the metal bounced off of his little bone and a bruise started forming immediately. Without hesitation mommy struck him, further up on his arm. She made three more bruises before gently holding his left arm and carefully matched the placement of the previous hits.

Naruto was tearing up and very pale as he let his arm hang limply in her grasp.

"My poor Naruto," mommy said quietly after she put the brush back on the dresser. "Please never make me hit you again. Come here, my Naruto."

Naruto slowly moved closer to her and she wrapped her arms around his tightly. "Poor, poor Naruto," she said softly, rocking him closely. Her grip hurt the bruises. "It makes me angry with you to have to punish you like that. I get concerned and unhappy. Why do you make me unhappy?"

Naruto's tears began to have sound to them as he started whimpering.

"Hush, hush," mommy comforted, "I don't want to hear you cry."

Naruto's stomach grumbled again. "Apologize now," mommy said.

"I'm sorry," Naruto cried.

Mommy nodded. "I'm going to have to tell daddy when he gets home," she said, "You've made him unhappy too."

That dark pit was very heavy in Naruto's stomach. He buried his head in her breast and she gasped slightly. Then she sat back on the toy chest and pulled him into her lap. "Hush, hush," she said again and then kissed him, that strange kiss that made his crying a bit worse. "I told you to stop crying," mommy said gently before slapping him quickly across the face.

Then came the sound of the front door opening and Naruto shrank further into mommy's arms. "Come on," she said in that soft voice, "We need to go see daddy."

She held his hand loosely as he trailed behind her down the hall, holding his breath to stifle the tears. "I'm sorry," he said again in a weak voice.

Mommy shook her head.

Daddy was neatly hanging up his coat in the closet. "Hello," he said, inflection noticeably absent.

"I'm afraid Naruto was extremely disrespectful to me today," mommy said, "He needs to be punished."

Daddy sighed. "Naruto why would you make mommy upset like this? Are you always going to treat her like this?"

Naruto started crying harder. His cheek still stung and he tried to pull his hand from mommy in order to rub his arms, but she held onto it.

"I also told him to stop crying," mommy said.

"Go to the front porch," daddy said before heading to the kitchen.

Mommy watched as Naruto slowly walked to the door and stepped into the chilly air. "I'm sorry," he said again, "I'll be better."

What did I do? he thought worriedly. I didn't know that I'd mess up so soon.

He felt frightened and terrible. How could he have disappointed them like this? He was shaking and he could feel his nose running, before he wiped it. There was a little girl and her older brother and mother sitting on a porch swing across the street. They watched him with impassive expressions.

Daddy stepped out onto the porch then and Naruto got a brief glance of a pitcher in his hand before ice cold water was suddenly poured in a rush over his head. He gasped in loudly as the ice cubes bounced on the wooden porch and slid in all directions.

He immediately began shivering earnest and tried to catch his breath. He wiped his eyes with the back of a wet wrist and blinked away the burning. His sopping shirt was freezing against his skin. Daddy moved around into his view and Naruto blinked at him, water droplets still sticking to his long lashes.

"You need to pick up the ice and throw it away in the trash can and then you need to go sit on that chair until you're dry. I don't want any water damage on the porch."

His hands were extremely white by the time he was finished. Mommy and daddy stood on the porch watching him in silence and the three across the street rocked gently on the porch swing as they watched him as well. Every time that he would glance up they were watching him with those blank expressions.

He was very afraid and so very cold.

Once he was finished and went to go sit on the corner of the porch mommy and daddy went inside. After awhile he could hear smell food and then heard the sounds of them eating dinner. They didn't speak to each other. He would have cried again if he hadn't been so cold.

The family across the street had gone inside quite awhile ago, but their blinds were open and he could see them interacting and laughing. The girl, who was probably about his age, crawled onto the mother's lap and lay there until she fell asleep. The boy did homework at the table.

It got dark.

The boy got up and he and his mother exchanged a quick peck before he headed off to bed.

Mommy came out. "You may come inside now, Naruto," she said.

He moved stiffly, his limbs painful as his sluggishly chilled blood moved through his limbs. "It's time for bed."

Naruto wanted to ask about a toothbrush and whether he could use the bathroom or take a bath, but mommy was very solemn and he didn't want to make her unhappy again. She lifted him into the crib and he whispered once again, "I'm sorry mommy."

She sighed and shook her head. "I'm still very upset. Don't talk to me."

His empty stomach squeezed painfully and the thin baby blanket did almost nothing to heat his body back up. He kept rubbing his limbs, but his arms hurt when he touched them and he felt dizzy with confusion and the very frightened feeling that made his head reel.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, "I'm sorry I made you sad. I won't do it again."

It figured that he would ruin his chance at family happiness. He messed up a lot after all. He wished that mommy wouldn't kiss him like that, it made him so nervous and her lips made him uneasy. He had only seen daddy smile once.

I'll figure out a way to make them happy, he thought wildly, I'll make them something beautiful, and I'll give mommy Sissy's heart-rock. That made me happy when I got it.

Feeling a bit comforted he lay down, ignoring the pain in the arm he was lying on, and shivered his way to sleep.

Review Please!

Once again, there will be a time-skip to present after the third chapter. Please point out mistakes, things you like, things you hate, et cetera. Please forgive the 'starter' chapter, it always takes a bit for things to really get going.

Thanks again!

-Cheerful Regression

©ReAnimated Productions