This one came to me by accident. I was reading a wonderful Teen Titans fic by GuardianSaiyoko called "Whitewater" that's a series of shorts, and intermixed in there was a list of things Beast Boy is not permitted to do, try, think, etc. It made me laugh and it cheered me up, and the next morning, after a real-life incident that I felt belonged on the list, I decided to port the concept over here. Credit for the original idea and one or two items on lists to come goes to GuardianSaiyoko (and if you have any interest in Teen Titans, go check it out!). This will begin as a four-shot, and could possibly continue beyond that if inspiration strikes.

As always, the TMNT are not mine, nor do I receive anything for messing with them. Except satisfaction. Plenty of that. All respect to Peter Laird and Mirage for the creation and continuation, and now to Nickelodeon/Viacom for picking up the torch.

Enjoy!

One morning, after a particularly long and vocal dispute with his brother, Michelangelo found a note taped to his door. The handwriting was familiar, and as he read, he was torn between laughter and indignity.

The List of Things Mikey Is Not Allowed To Do

Do not empty Raph's punching bag and refill it with cooked oatmeal. Ever.
(And WHERE did you get all that cooked oatmeal anyway?)

The. Bike. Is. Off. Limits. Forever.

Singing at 3am is not allowed. Singing "Bohemian Rhapsody" at 3am at the top of your lungs is definitely not allowed. Actually, singing "Bohemian Rhapsody" ever is not allowed.

The perimeter alarm is for intruders, not so you can catch yourself on video doing something on your skateboard.

There is no save point in the refrigerator. Stop wandering into the kitchen after 3 days of gaming and making a mess by looking for it.

You are NOT "too sexy for your shell," so stop saying it. And please don't try to take it off anymore.

Blanket forts are not to be constructed using exercise towels. Especially USED towels.

"Cowabunga" is stupid. If you have to celebrate, pick a word that isn't a decade old.

You are not Peter Pan, Robin Hood, or Link. Yes, you're green. No, it doesn't count.

Don is be addicted to coffee, so if you switch his regular to decaf again, don't come crying to me when the Xbox gets used for spare parts because Donnie can't find his workshop.

If the words "battle," "nexus," and "champion" all appear in one sentence from your mouth again, your shell will be flatter than Master Splinter's meditation mat before you can say "booyah."

You are definitely not allowed to order pizza with anything chocolate on it again. Ugh.

Turtle Titan might be a hero, but he isn't immune to chores. The next time "Michelangelo" is unavailable for dishes but TT is around, Turtle Titan gets to join the roster along with you.

Klunk is a cat, not a hamster. Do not put him in a ball and roll him again. The couch has never recovered.

If the thought of something makes you giggle for more than 15 seconds, it's definitely not allowed.

Michelangelo felt a slow grin spread across his face as he reached for some paper of his own.