"Why does she hate you so much?" Videl asked her father. "I thought you and Chi-Chi were friends, kind of. You have a crush on her, anyway."

"I do NOT have a crush on her!" Hercule insisted.

"You do, and it creeps me out," Videl said.

"I do not!" Hercule said. "Look, I like Chi-Chi, but who wouldn't? She's a strong woman, and she's very passionate, especially when it comes to her kids, and she's really smart, and she has large, pretty eyes, just like your mother's, and her hair is so soft that...AUGH!"

"Told you you have a crush on her," Videl said.

"Oh..." Hercule moaned. Why did life have to be so hard? It wasn't this tough when he was dating Denaira...Then again, that was back when marriage meant "'til death do us part", not "'til death do us part, unless a witch with pink hair brings your dead husband back to life".

"Anyway, my point is that you and Chi-Chi like each other," Videl said. "Or liked each other, at one point. What happened?"

Hercule looked guilty, so Videl knew something was up.

"Dad, what happened?" Videl repeated.

"Uh...you know that riot I stopped at your school two weeks ago?"

"Yeah..." Videl said, slowly. Two weeks ago, the police called her in to stop a riot at Orange Star High during Back to School Night. It was strange; there were reports of a tiger attack in the school. By the time Videl showed up, the situation was under control, and Hercule took credit for single-handedly stopping the riot.

"Well...Chi-Chi and I sorta...caused the riot..." Hercule admitted.

"You're kidding me!" Videl said.

Hercule began telling the story of what happened...

Two weeks earlier...

Ah, Back to School Night. The one night of the year where Orange Star High opens its doors to parents, so they can meet all of their children's teachers and make sure the educational standards are up to snuff.

Hercule came to the event, expecting to ask a few questions to the English teacher, because Videl had complained about all the reading they had to do. It wasn't until he made it to the homeroom class that he realized Chi-Chi was there.

It's her! Hercule thought. He hadn't seen Chi-Chi since they simultaneously banned each other from their houses.

"Oh, wow, it's Hercule!" someone shouted.

Hercule tried to make his way up the stairs, through the crowd, as best as he could.

"Hey there—Nice to see you!—No, no autographs, please!—Yes, I'm entering the tournament this year.—No, my schedule is very busy.—Ha ha ha!"

Chi-Chi was sitting in Gohan's seat, at the end of the row by the stairs. She had her eyes deliberately closed.

"Um...hello, Chi-Chi," Hercule said tentatively. "Long time no see."

"Hello, Hercule," Chi-Chi said. "I thought you might be here tonight."

"Yeah, well...Back to School Night. We have to do this every year, and..."

"Just shut up and sit down already," Chi-Chi said.

"Er, right," Hercule said, sitting down next to Chi-Chi. He gulped slightly. It would be easy to just ignore Chi-Chi or get mad at her, but he knew he had to do the right thing. They were friends, after all.

"Look," Hercule said. "I know this probably isn't the best place to talk about it, but I think we should stop fighting."

"You do?" Chi-Chi asked. She wasn't expecting this.

"Well, yeah!" Hercule said. "It's kind of childish for us to stop talking to each other, because of Vegela or whatever his name is."

"Vegeta," Chi-Chi corrected. "And you're right. Who cares what that jerk does? It shouldn't affect us!"

"Yeah!" Hercule said. Deep down, Hercule knew that he wouldn't hesitate to sever all his ties to the Son Family if Vegeta threatened his daughter again. Keeping Videl safe was more important than his friendship with the Sons. But that didn't mean he and Chi-Chi couldn't be friends, right? "I think we should—"

Videl interrupted her father's story. "Wait, you two were fighting about me?" she asked.

"Kind of," Hercule said. "I thought the best way to save you from Vegeta would be to avoid all contact with the space alien guys."

"How was that supposed to save me?" Videl asked.

"Easy," Hercule said. "If you don't have anything to do with the space alien guys, you won't have evil space alien guys trying to kill you."

"I guess that makes sense..." Videl said. In a stupid kind of way. "Why didn't you tell me that, though?"

"I did!" Hercule said. "I said no more hanging around that Gohan kid with the crazy hair and the weird dance poses!"

"I thought you said that because he's a boy, not because he's an alien," Videl said.

"Well, that too," Hercule said. "You shouldn't spend time with him because he's a boy and—HEY!"

"What?"

"You disobeyed my orders to avoid Gohan, didn't you?" Hercule said, getting suddenly upset. "This whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing didn't pop out of nowhere! You two were still seeing each other when I said not to!"

"Um...maybe?" Videl said.

"VIDELLLLLLLLLLL!" Hercule shouted. "You're grounded!"

"What? That's so unfair!"

While Videl was talking to Hercule, Chi-Chi was talking to Gohan.

"All I'm saying is that it might be bad for our relationship if you kill my girlfriend's father," Gohan said, trying to be logical about the situation.

"Hmph," Chi-Chi said. "I'm still not entirely convinced that Videl is the right girl for you. You should get a nice, scholarly girlfriend, not a fighter!"

"But Mom! Videl's really nice!" Gohan said. "She's one of the three humans on the planet that we can trust with our secrets!"

"Too bad her father is a self-centered jerk!" Chi-Chi said. "Who goes around insulting my hairdo when he's got the stupidest-looking hair ever! He needs to shave that afro, stubble and greasy mustache off, pronto!"

"Woah, what?" Gohan asked. "When did Hercule ever insult your hairdo?"

"It was at the Back to School Night a few weeks ago..." Chi-Chi explained.

Mr. Brown was telling the Orange Star High parents about the policies and procedures of his homeroom class. It was the first time in three months that everyone in the classroom was paying attention to him, amazingly enough. Chi-Chi was actually taking notes.

Mr. Brown was in the middle explaining the strange school policy of punishing students by forcing them to hold buckets of water and stand in the hallway, when the bell rang.

"And we're out of time!" Mr. Brown said. "Are there any quick questions?"

"Just one," a male parent asked. "If they're standing out in the hallway where no one can see them, how do you know they're still holding up the buckets of water?"

"Uh...I guess we don't," Mr. Brown said.

"But then, can't they just put the buckets down, and—"

"HEY! Time's up!" Mr. Brown said. "Everyone proceed to the next classroom on your list!"

Chi-Chi checked the syllabus Gohan gave her. "Huh," she said. "It looks like all of my son's classes are in this room."

"Hey, so are Videl's," Hercule said, checking his syllabus. "So our kids have every single class together? Hmmm..."

"I agree," Chi-Chi said. "Hmmmm..."

"This had better be a coincidence, and not a sign that they're secretly dating!" Hercule said.

"Yeah!" Chi-Chi said. "Gohan's too young to be having a girlfriend! He needs to focus on his studies!"

"And if, by some crazy turn of events, they actually do become boyfriend and girlfriend, they're not allowed to go out on more than two dates a week!" Hercule said.

"And they always have to be back home by ten! No, nine!" Chi-Chi said.

All the other parents in the room agreed this was a very good rule.

"And no kissing without parental supervision!" Chi-Chi said.

"Especially not on national TV!" Hercule said.

"Uh..." Gohan said. His mother's story was starting to sound slightly unrealistic.

"What?" Chi-Chi snapped.

"Did that really happen?" Gohan asekd.

"What? Of course it really happened! How dare you accuse me of lying? I'm your mother! You need to treat me—"

"—With more respect!" Hercule finished his rant.

"All right, all right, I get it already," Videl said, rolling her eyes. "What happened next with Back to School Night?"

Hercule and Chi-Chi shared a brief chat during the five minute break in between classes.

Chi-Chi would probably deny it, but talking to Hercule was nice. She didn't have a lot of male friends her age, even though she had been in the city for a while now. People in the city were too cold for her tastes. Hercule was one of the few people she met here who had a warm, outgoing personality. He was just like Goku in that way...

Alas, Chi-Chi and Hercule's friendly moment was short-lived, because the next period was English class. That was the one class Gohan and Videl shared with Angela, the big-haired redhead who has a thing for guys with teddy bear boxers.

Now, if you thought Angela had big hair—like most of the DBZ characters—then it's a sure bet you haven't seen the hairdos that her parents have. Her father had a handlebar mustache which was four feet long—long enough that, whenever he rode a bike, he used his handlebar mustache as the handlebars. Her mother's hair measured six feet long from top to bottom, and that's after folding it up twice because if it was any taller, she couldn't get through most doorways.

Almost everyone in the classroom gasped in shock.

"H-h-h-hair!" Hercule said.

"Oh, Angelo, this is the right classroom, right?" Angela's mother asked.

"Sure is, Angie," Angela's father said, running his hands along his mustache. "Let's get seats in the front row!"

"Well." Chi-Chi said. "I think you just lost the crazy hair contest."

"Crazy hair contest?" Hercule asked. "Hey, my fro is my signature! Nobody would recognize me without it!"

"Afros are ridiculously out-of-style," Chi-Chi said. "I lived in the middle of the woods for the past twenty years, and even I know that. I got rid of my fro decades ago."

"You...you had a fro?" Hercule asked, shocked.

"Back when they were fashionable," Chi-Chi admitted. "But that was a long time ago!"

Hercule's imagination ran wild with all sorts of hairdos for Chi-Chi to try. An afro, the curly-haired side part, the cool-looking bangs which cover one eye...

"You should get a perm!" Hercule said.

"What? No way!" Chi-Chi said.

"You'd look so cute with one!" Hercule said. "It'd be much better than the hairdo you have now! That hair bun makes you look like an old lady."

"Old lady?" Chi-Chi asked, dangerously.

"Uh...not that there's anything wrong with that!" Hercule said, immediately trying to avoid upsetting Chi-Chi. "I'm totally cool with the fact that you're in your late 40's! It's great! Older women are...um...uh..."

Hercule stuffed his foot into his mouth as Chi-Chi roared loudly. Suddenly, the whole room fell silent.

"Was that a tiger?" asked one of the parents.

Mr. Brown, the teacher, looked up from the book he was reading. He saw a huge mass of orange in the front row, thanks to the crazy hairdos of Angela's parents. And he just heard someone mention tigers. Putting two and two together, Mr. Brown came up with five.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Mr. Brown shouted. "THERE'S A TIGER IN THE ROOM!"

"Tiger?" everyone gasped.

There was a minor stampede as everyone ran for the door, knocked over desks and caused overall havoc. The person who was screaming the loudest was Hercule himself, who was being subjected to the Old Lady Chi-Chi Slaps of Doom.

"You probably misinterpreted what he was saying," Gohan said, trying to defend Hercule. "I can see where he's coming from. You kinda do have a weird taste for hairdos." Gohan chuckled. "I remember the one you gave me before I went to Namek! That was—"

Then Gohan saw the furious look on Chi-Chi's face.

"—Um, the best hairdo ever?"

"Does everyone secretly badmouth me?" Chi-Chi cried. "First my friend Hercule, then my son Gohan—what did I do to deserve such horrible treatment?" She would have continued whining in that vein for some time, as is her wont, but she stopped to mentally correct herself. Hercule was not her friend anymore.

Like most teenagers, Videl thought anyone over 20 was super old, so she wasn't sure why Chi-Chi would freak out about being called an old lady. In actually, Chi-Chi was particularly sensitive to the issue of her age because she was about to start menopause, and her biological clock was not so much ticking as it was pounding. But of course, neither Videl nor Hercule knew that.

"Okay, so you basically called her an old lady with no sense of style," Videl said. "That's why she's so mad at you?"

"I think that's it," Hercule said.

"Did you try apologizing, at least?" Videl asked.

"Yes, but she's too mad at me to listen," Hercule said. "Besides, why bother? Even if she forgives me, she'll just get mad at me for something else."

Hercule was wondering what he should do. On the one hand, he could take the coward's way out and forfeit the match. It'd save a lot of pain and suffering. On the other hand, he could be brave and enter the fight, even though he knew he would lose.

Who knows? Hercule thought. Maybe if she beat me up, I'd stop having those strange feelings about her. The strange feelings that I can't stop no matter how hard I try!

Videl sighed. Whenever she was upset and talked to her dad, he always knew the right thing to say to cheer her up. He was really good at giving inspirational advice, mainly because he had memorized several books of inspirational quotes for use in his speeches. But now, Videl could tell, it was her turn to cheer her father up.

"Look, Dad..." Videl said. "You know, how...um...you know how you were super-brave and stood up to Cell, even though you were scared he would kill you?"

Hercule leaned closer to his daughter and whispered. "That didn't really happen, and you know it!"

Videl slapped her face. This wise advice stuff was harder than she thought. Where was that brainiac Gohan when you needed him?

"Well, you're not alone," Videl said. "Gohan's scared of his mom, too, and..."

No, that didn't sound right.

"Um...uh...I got it!"

Videl slammed her hands on the table and stood up. "Do you know why I first kissed Gohan?" she asked demandingly.

"No, and I don't want to know!" Hercule scowled. He didn't like the way this conversation was going.

"It was because he finally stood up to Chi-Chi!" Videl said. "Do you know what'll happen if you give in to her now? She's just going to keep yelling and screaming and whining and—" Videl broke off as she realized with horror that Chi-Chi would be the worst mother-in-law ever.

"You're right!" Hercule said, standing up and flexing his muscles impressively. "I can't let her walk all over me! I'm big! I'm strong! I'm the World Champ! I'll crush her into a thousand pieces! Ha ha ha! Haaaaaaaaa!"

"So, Champ, anything to say about this fight before it gets underway?" the announcer asked Hercule.

"Yes!" Hercule said into the microphone he was holding. "Chi-Chi Son is going down! I don't lose to anyone, especially old ladies with crazy hairdos!"

Chi-Chi growled loudly.

"Yeah, that's right!" Hercule said, giving the V for Victory sign to the camera. "I'm making it to the finals again this year, and that's a promise you can take to the bank!"

"Strong words from Hercule, everyone," the announcer said, walking over to Chi-Chi. "And what do you have to say, Chi-Chi?"

"I'm going to murder that lunatic!" Chi-Chi said into her microphone. "I've been fighting way longer than him!"

"Yes, that's right, Chi-Chi did quite well in the last tournament she competed in, the 23rd Tournament, where she—"

"That was twenty years ago!" Hercule interrupted. "And I know for a fact that she hasn't done any training since then! She probably forgot everything she knew!"

"I knew enough to give you a black eye the last time we fought!" Chi-Chi said.

"Only because I wasn't fighting back!" Hercule retorted.

"It seems our two contestants have fought each other before!" the announcer said. "And they are both raring for a rematch!"

Up in the stands, the Z-Fighters were paying close attention to the pre-match argument.

"Wow, they really hate each other," Ox King said.

"Not really," Videl said. "They both like each other. They're just too stubborn to admit it."

Goku laughed. "Stubborn, huh? That sounds like Chi-Chi!"

"How do they know each other, anyway?" Ox King asked. "Did they meet after you two became a couple?"

"No, grandpa," Gohan said. "They were friends when we first moved to Hercule City. They used to go to lunch together and things like that."

"WHAT?" Ox King cried. "Chi-Chi isn't allowed to have lunch with other men! She's too young for that sort of thing! I forbid it! I'm her father, and what I say goes!" He continued ranting in this vein for quite some time.

"Oh," Gohan said. "So that's where Mom gets it from."

Finally, the pre-fight banter came to an end, and Hercule and Chi-Chi gave their microphones back to the announcer. They took their stances, facing each other.

"Ready! Fight!" the announcer cried.

Chi-Chi and Hercule started circling around, trying to find an opening to attack.

"It's a shame it has to end like this," Hercule said. "For a while, I kind of liked you."

"Ha!" Chi-Chi said. "You never liked me for myself! You only liked me because I'm pretty!"

"Ha!" Hercule laughed. "I'd never be attracted to an ugly, miserable old goat like you!"

He sprung forward and aimed a weak punch at Chi-Chi's right shoulder. She leaned left and tried to deliver a karate chop to Hercule's side, but he brought his arm back and blocked her attack with the back of his hand. He tried a karate chop with his other hand, but she blocked it and jumped backwards. They resumed circling around each other.

"I should have figured you out sooner," Chi-Chi said. "You're not a good person! You're just a huge pervert!"

"Just like your son!" Hercule said. "I've seen the way he looks at my daughter! If he ever tries anything inappropriate with her..."

Chi-Chi lunged forward, and Hercule lunged forward to meet her. She was feinting, so she quickly drew back. He regained his footing instead of falling down like she hoped he would. She kicked at him, but he jumped to dodge.

"I raised him better than that!" Chi-Chi said. "Besides, it's your daughter who's the dangerous one, not Gohan!"

"My daughter is a perfect little angel!" Hercule said. "Both your sons are dangerous maniacs who could blow up the planet at any moment!"

Hercule and Chi-Chi started trading punches with each other. She landed two good hits to the side of the face, but he got her with a nice uppercut. She brought her leg up to slam her knee into his chest, and he dropped down to get a firm grip on her uplifted leg. This was one of Hercule's flashy moves that he liked to do, but rarely got a chance to execute properly. He lifted Chi-Chi over his head, one hand holding her ankle and the other one holding her knee. Trying to ignore the punches she was showering on his head, he pulled his right arm back and with a great heave, he threw her a few feet away, where she half-crashed, half-landed on the ground.

Chi-Chi was up in a flash, and she was snarling. "Need I remind you that I don't have two sons anymore?"

Hercule's face fell. Sure, he was fighting with Chi-Chi, but he'd never go so far as to insult someone because their child just died. That would be cruel. "Oh, yeah, I forgot. I'm...dreadfully sorry for your loss."

"Huh?" Chi-Chi asked. Hercule sounded...sincere.

"I'm sorry about Goten," Hercule clarified. "I liked the little dude."

"He...he liked you, too," Chi-Chi said weakly. Even though she didn't want to, she remembered Goten talking about Hercule only a week ago.

"But why, Mommy?" Goten asked. "I like them!"

"I said they're not allowed to come to our house anymore!" Chi-Chi snapped. "Now stop asking if they can come over!"

"That's not fair!" Goten said. "I wanna see Videl and Mr. Hercules, and you won't let me because...because...you're a big meanie!"

"Goten! How dare you talk to me like that? You go to your room for a time-out, mister! And no dinner for you!"

Goten started crying, but he marched up to his room like he was ordered to.

Suddenly, fighting Hercule didn't seem so important anymore.

Chi-Chi let her arms fall down to her sides. Have I...have I been doing everything wrong? she wondered.

Hercule sensed his opening and came forward with a volley of punches. Chi-Chi started dodging them by instinct, like any good fighter would.

I've been so focused on defeating this man. What's the point?

She slapped Hercule on both sides of his head at the same time. He shook his head wildly, then head-butted her. She faltered a few steps.

Sure, he called me an old lady, but it's not because he's mean. It's because he never thinks before he says anything.

Chi-Chi shook her head. Fight now. Think later.

"You're goin' down!" Hercule said. "No one can stand up to the Champ!"

Time to end this.

Chi-Chi slammed her foot on Hercule's foot, hard. Hercule grabbed his foot and started jumping up and down, moaning loudly.

Chi-Chi grinned. She grabbed Hercule's afro with one hand and pulled him down.

"OOOOWWWW!" Hercule cried. "Let go! Let go! Let go!"

In retaliation, he grabbed a chunk of Chi-Chi's hair and yanked downwards. Our two heroes almost smashed their heads together as they both fell onto the ground, face-first.

"...That could have gone better," Chi-Chi said, shaking her head and getting back to her feet.

"I told you to watch the fro!" Hercule said, fluffing up his hair to get it back to its normal shape. "Good thing I used the conditioner with extra bounce today..."

"Bounce is right!" Chi-Chi said. She picked up Hercule and bounced him out of the ring. At least, she was hoping to do that, but Hercule was a mite heavier than she expected. He grabbed her arms, pinned them to her sides, and drew her in close to him. Their faces got closer and closer, until they were only an inch and a half apart.

Then he rubbed his unshaven cheek against hers.

"Augh!" she cried. It hurt to have his stubble brushing against her cheek, cutting into it. "Stop that now!"

"Not until you say I don't have to shave my stubble!" Hercule said.

Chi-Chi struggled against Hercule's large arms, and she attempted to knee him in the stomach. It didn't work, and finally she said, "Fine! You don't have to shave your chin!"

Hercule let her go and smiled. He was so winning the hairdo competition!

"It's your ugly mustache that you need to shave!" Chi-Chi said.

...Or not.

"My stache is awesome!" Hercule said. "It makes me look like Super Mario! How dare you insult it? I've had this baby ever since I was three years old!"

"Oh, how cute!" Chi-Chi said, mockingly. "You want to be a superhero! I guess that explains why you have a stupid-looking cape!"

"What's wrong with my cape?" Hercule asked.

"Oh, nothing, wearing capes is fine...if you're a vampire!"

"Augh!" Hercule said. He pointed an accusing finger at Chi-Chi. "You have totally crossed the line! Nobody gets away with insulting my personal appearance, except Videl and my stylist!"

"I'm sorry," Chi-Chi said. "I forgot that you hire disabled people. That's really generous of you."

"Disabled people?" Hercule wondered.

"Yeah," Chi-Chi said. "I can tell that your stylist is handicapped...because she must be completely blind!"

"Gack!" Hercule said. Chi-Chi kept on insulting him! Why did she have to be so mean? And why didn't she use some of those one-liners during the pre-fight argument, when the people in the stands could hear them?

Hercule put his hands up and swayed his head, Egyptian-style, before moving in with a bone-shattering kick that Chi-Chi was able to counter. She aimed a punch at his stomach, but he dodged to the left, then poked Chi-Chi in the eyes.

"Who's blind now?" Hercule taunted.

"RAAAAA!" Chi-Chi yelled, opening her mouth wide and plunging forward, as if she was planning on biting Hercule on the neck. He dodged around her in a fluid motion, not breaking off her momentum, and then he pushed her from behind. She stumbled for a bit before turning around, hands held high, ready for another attack.

Hercule jump-kicked straight at Chi-Chi's torso and made successful contact. Instead of stumbling backwards, towards the edge of the arena, she tried to fall down and forward, on top of Hercule. All that happened, however, was that she landed on one knee, with both hands flat on the ground. From that position, she sprang at Hercule and started a series of karate chops, her specialty attack.

Hercule started dodging, with difficulty at first, but then he got into a groove. Instead of fighting back, he decided to let Chi-Chi waste all her energy. She threw many punches and hits (some of which were successful), and ended by pushing Hercule backwards.

"That's it!" Chi-Chi yelled. "I am going to rip you limb from limb, if it's the last thing I do! I will personally tear off all your hair and make you eat it!"

"Bring it, Grandma!" Hercule cried.

Hercule and Chi-Chi charged at each other, and started furiously dealing out punches and kicks. The dodging was minimal here, as they relied more heavily on counter-attacks. Sweat began to trickle down Hercule's brow, and Chi-Chi's hair started to slip out of place. Irritated, she readjusted her hair, and resumed attacking.

Hmmm... Hercule noted. Chi-Chi's hair was not so secure. He could use this to his advantage.

Hercule jumped straight up and spun his foot around towards Chi-Chi's head. She ducked in response. Hercule landed on the ground and jumped again. Once again, Chi-Chi ducked.

No, dang it, you're supposed to jump up after me so your hair can fall in your face and blind you! Hercule thought. That way, I can attack when you're helpless and win the fight!

Hercule jumped one more time. Chi-Chi grabbed his outstretched leg, and using the momentum of his spin, she spun him around in midair and threw him towards the edge of the ring.

"Oh no!" the announcer cried. "This could be it for our champion!"

Hercule found himself flying towards the grass outside the ring. He threw his arms out wildly, trying to grab something, anything that would stop him from falling out. By sheer luck, he grabbed onto one of the four pillars in the corner of the ring, then swung around it and landed back inside.

"Boo-yeah!" Hercule cried, while the crowd cheered. He waved to his fans in the stands and celebrated his close escape from elimination, which was a mistake. While Hercule wasn't paying attention, Chi-Chi got a running start and did a jump kick right at his back.

"Oooph!" Hercule cried as he was slammed right into the nearby pillar.

Darn! Chi-Chi thought. She was aiming for the outside of the ring, not the pillar.

"Mommy, my singing is popsicle-flavored," Hercule moaned, before slumping to the ground.

"After narrowly escaping elimination by ring out, Hercule left himself open to an attack from behind!" cried the announcer, running to the corner of the ring so he could see better. "And now I think it's elimination by knockout!"

Chi-Chi smirked in a very Vegeta-like fashion as she stood over Hercule's sprawled-out body.

"I'll start the count! One! Two! Three!"

"Come on, Dad, get up!" Videl yelled from the stands.

"Way to go, Mom!" Gohan cheered.

Videl elbowed Gohan in the stomach.

"Ouch!" Gohan said. "I mean, don't give up, Hercule!"

"Seven! Eight! He's not unconscious, but I don't think he can hear me! Nine! T—"

Hercule was, of course, used to playing dead until the last second of a countdown. It always made things more dramatic if you stretched out the countdown time, after all. And as soon as the announcer began to say "ten", Hercule sprung back up to his feet and roared loudly, as if he'd never been hurt at all.

At least, that's what he would have done under normal circumstances. The blow from Chi-Chi was a bit too much for him to handle at the moment, so the best he could do was swing his hand out, grab Chi-Chi's ankle, and pull.

"Woah!" Chi-Chi cried, as she fell over backwards and landed on her butt.

"He's not out yet, folks!" the announcer said.

With a jerky movement, Hercule pushed himself off the ground and rolled on top of Chi-Chi. He was lying sideways across her, and he kept her firmly pinned on the ground with his weight. It was a minor reprieve, because he could stop there and rest without moving for a bit, even though she was pounded his back with punches.

"Hey, I've got her pinned!" Hercule said. "Where's the countdown?"

The announcer covered the microphone with his hand. "Er, this isn't wrestling, Champ. It's Martial Arts."

"Oh, right," Hercule said.

"So get off of me, you big lug!" Chi-Chi cried.

"Just a second," Hercule said.

After ten seconds, Hercule was ready to move again. He pushed himself off of the ground and got back to his feet in one fluid motion. Chi-Chi got up, too, and charged. Hercule did a quick dodge to the left, but Chi-Chi managed to hit the back of his foot. Hercule fell down, but instead of landing face-first, he did a complete summersault and turned around.

I really should get away from the edge of the ring, Hercule thought. It was dangerous to be close to the edge, but it would make pushing Chi-Chi out so much easier.

...If he could somehow push Chi-Chi out, that is.

"Grrrrrrr!" Chi-Chi cried.

"Rarrrrr!" Hercule grunted. He lunged towards her, planning on feinting to the left, but she hit him with a solid uppercut. He punched her in the shoulder, and she gave him a hearty shove. He planted a firm foot behind him to avoid stumbling backwards, then tackled her. She twisted around, trying to get out of his grip, and he ended up skidding face-first across the arena, while she landed on her rear end. From this position, she kicked him in the side, knocking the wind out of him.

This fight isn't going so well... Hercule thought.

"Hercule! Hercule! Hercule!" the crowd cheered, urging their hero on. Hercule took a deep breath and got back up.

"Is that all you got?" Chi-Chi cried. She could easily continue for another six minutes, at least. Hercule didn't look like he would last for six more seconds.

Hercule started panting in deep breaths.

"HA!" Chi-Chi said. "After all that yelling and bravado, this is all you have to show for it? Suffering a humiliating defeat at the hands of 'an old lady'? I expected more of you, 'Champ'!"

"You...quiet!" Hercule said.

"Ha ha ha!" Chi-Chi laughed. "Now the world will finally see what a big phony you really are! Do you have anything else to say before I eliminate you?"

"Huh...hurrr..." Hercule panted. He would normally have come up with a clever insult, but he was hurting too much at the moment.

Chi-Chi was falling into the same trap Gohan fell into seven years ago, when Gohan was fighting Cell. Instead of instantly defeating his enemy, Gohan chose to revel in Cell's pain. Chi-Chi was doing the same thing here. She was deliberately prolonging the fight in order to humiliate Hercule, when the smart thing to do would have been ending the fight immediately.

"Ah, don't feel bad," Chi-Chi gloated. "Tell you what. I'll give you the chance for one last attack before I eliminate you. One last shot. Gimme what you got."

Hercule shook his head, trying to think clearly.

Chi-Chi took a few steps backwards, towards the edge of the ring. "Look at me! I'm so close to the edge of the ring! It'd be really simple to push me out, wouldn't it? Come and get me!"

Chi-Chi was planning on dodging any attack Hercule would throw her way. That would be a nice end to the fight, she thought. I dodge, and the idiot eliminates himself by running out of the ring!

"RAGING AFRO ATTACK!" Hercule cried.

"Raging afro?" Chi-Chi asked, the strange name of the attack distracting her for a second.

One second was all Hercule needed. He tackled Chi-Chi in the gut, wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close to himself as he jumped out of the ring. The two of them fell to the ground, with Chi-Chi on the bottom.

"Ring out!" the announcer cried. "But who landed first?"

"Obviously, she did!" Hercule said. "She's on the bottom!"

"He had his arms wrapped around me!" Chi-Chi said. "His hands hit the ground before my back did!"

"Oh, man," the announcer said. This was a tricky situation to judge. Hercule used a standard tackle on Chi-Chi—he wasn't exactly in a condition to do a complicated fighting move, after all—so his hands should have been on her back.

The announcer pressed his earpiece that connected him to the judges' room. "We're going to have to take this to the video review judge," the announcer said. "In the meantime, let's see that elimination again!"

The final moment of the fight started playing on the big screen in slow-motion instant replay, and everyone watched it intently.

"No, wait!" the announcer said, looking at Chi-Chi's back onscreen. "Hercule's hands clearly hit the ground before Chi-Chi's back did. That means...CHI-CHI SON WINS!"

The crowd cheered, although some of them were shocked at seeing their hero defeated.

"Nooooooo!" Hercule cried.

"Yes! Yes! YES!" Chi-Chi cheered, almost dancing for joy.

"No! No! No!" Hercule sobbed, collapsing on the ground. His championship belt...gone! His reputation...vanished! His mansion and all his money...no more!

Chi-Chi's smile fell as she saw Hercule crying. Stupid Hercule. Why did he have to rain on her parade?

Maybe Goku influenced her more than she knew, Chi-Chi later reflected. Instead of gloating like she wanted to, Chi-Chi knew that she would have to do the right thing in this situation.

Sighing audibly, she reached out her hand and tapped Hercule on the back. Hercule looked up, and saw a smiling Chi-Chi with her hand outstretched. He grabbed it, and she helped pull him back up to his feet.

"Good fight, Champ," she said.

"Yeah..." Hercule said. He choked back some tears; he was on national TV, after all, and he had to protect his image. "Good fight."

"Hey, we're still friends, right?" Chi-Chi said.

"Friends...?" Hercule asked.

"I have a feeling we'll have to get along if we want to keep our kids in line," Chi-Chi said.

Hercule stopped trying to hold back the tears as he enveloped Chi-Chi in a bear hug. "Friends forever!" he said.

The crowd cheered loudly, seeing the two warriors reconciled to each other.

"And, uh, nothing more than friends," Hercule said. "Just in case you were wondering."

Chi-Chi smiled at that. "Yeah!" she said. "Nothing can ruin our friendship!"

"Hold it!" the announcer said, pressing his finger to his earpiece. "Just a second, everyone! The judges are saying Chi-Chi doesn't win!"

"...Except that," Chi-Chi said. She let go of Hercule and turned on the announcer. "What do you mean, I don't win?" she shouted.

"Get that image on the screen!" the announcer said. The screen replayed the end of the fight, and it paused slightly before the fighters hit the ground.

"There?" the announcer asked. "But...Hercule's arms are wrapped around Chi-Chi's torso! The picture clearly shows that his hands hit the ground before he back does!"

"Exactly!" Chi-Chi shouted. "Where are these judges? I'll rip them apart!"

The announcer listened to the words that were coming through his earpiece, and he gasped. "Her foot!" he said, pointing at the screen. "We were too busy focusing on Chi-Chi's back to notice that her foot clearly hit the ground before Hercule's hands did!"

And indeed, that's exactly what the still frame on the big screen showed. Her foot, a few inches below the rest of her body, was touching the grass.

"You're kidding me!" Chi-Chi said.

Hercule scratched his head. "Okay, I'm ready to wake up from this weird dream now," he said.

"HERCULE WINS!" the announcer cried. The arena erupted in cheers, and Chi-Chi said a very bad word at this point. "This means Hercule is going up against Goku in the final! A rematch between the two former champions! Isn't this exciting, folks?"

"Rigged!" Chi-Chi screeched. "This competition is rigged! I'll never forgive you for this, Hercule! Never!"