Pain.

It's drowning me and everything that presents me and not that great country I'm supposed to be.

But it's the only thing they have left. If he doesn't chain him up, if he doesn't take him every single night, he will leave. Both of them know it and that is the reason for their sick little affair.

Madness. That's probably the word anyone else would use. But for them, it's just a way to show their love when they have an eternal wall separating them and a thin thread linking them, when they can't stay and when they can't leave.

Both of them know and admit how utterly stupid it is. But in reality, neither one of them wants it to stop. Even if neither one of them also didn't want it to start. They can't stop. They don't want to stop. They won't stop.

When those cold hands caress him and everything that there is to him, he can only shiver under the touch and moan. Because he just can't do anything else.

When those warm hands attempt to return the gentle and harsh, the pleasuring and hurting touches, chains keep his hands back. He can't reach to him, can't can't can't and he never would even want to but it hurts–

When the world is just hot white bliss for him, he can hear words being whispered into his ear, spoken in a foreign language that isn't foreign to him no it's not. It has always been there, whispering with honey-laced voice, with a soft tinge of bittersweet, meaningless sentences that mean nothing for him and everything for both of them.

When everything is over, the pain comes back and he can see and feel his own blood drippling from under his skin, coming to surface and staying there, trickling down to the soft, white blankets, coloring them crimson, spreading everywhere.

And he is still on top of him, the hot breath tickling his neck's sensitive skin, softly kissing it, the red spots that are starting to get darker and darker and every bleeding bite-mark, going up all the way to his jaw. Finally there's a soft kiss pressed on his bleeding and swollen lips, as a complete opposite to their previously desperate – I want to have you, I need you right now, come closer closer never leave me don't go we can break that wall someday just please – hungry – I love your taste, your scent, your blood is so beautiful I want to see yours but you never show me why do you like mine so much – and just plain needy ones.

Then even that one merciful moment is gone and he's gone too, gone to get bandages to take care of him better than anyone else could because he knows everything about his body and about his mind everything.

While covering those ugly and beautiful wounds a loud silence surrounds them. It's a comfortable and uncomfortable silence, the one they've gotten used to and the one of the kind when thoughts that are not needed crawl out of their corners and come to the surface, floating there and not wanting to leave me alone-

After that he leaves. They have their final kiss, long and sweet, short and bitter, desperate and so sinful. Then he's gone and

everything starts all over again.

Instead of a wall separating or a thread linking, it's more like a circle, just like time is also a circle and just like they are nations who are mere underlings of time that is a circle.

Because they are the Russian Federation and the United States of America, they can't escape from that circle.

And so is their fate.

–----------

A/N: Hahahah... I don't know. I wrote this a while back and then decided to put it here. And I promise I'll update Memories soon!