WOULD YOU PLZ SIGN MY PENIS?!!!!!!!

Allen woke up and looked - stared, really - at the picture on his nightstand before kissing the face of the man in the photo. "Omg, gud mornin Mikk."

Mikk didn't reply. He never did. Though in Allen's mind he did. Always. He'd tell Allen how pretty he looked, and then Allen'd compliment him on the ugly mole on his sexy face, which he liked to call a beauty mark, and then he'd just swoon. He liked to think his idol stared at him while he got dressed, so he took as long as possible with getting into his underwear.

Looking at the calender, Allen inwardly screamed. Today was the day. Today, after six months of waiting, he'd get to see another one of Mikk's live shows. Normally, he'd still be excited, but not that excited. Except that time, he had back-stage passes. Maybe he could /finally/ meet his idol, the famous rocker Tyki Mikk.

Maybe he could get him to look into his eyes and enchant him with the pure rays of innocence hypnotizing any male he had his sights set upon. Today was totally going to be the day. Slowly slipping out of his underwear, planning on doing his daily striptease for the photoframe, he grinned. Maybe he could wear that tight blouse he bought last week. It was going to be cold outside. Meaning sexy nipple time.

"Omg, ai ttly cant weight!" Allen screamed, disturbing his uncle, which he would probably regret. But at the time, he didn't care, since today was going to be that awesome. He slowly pulled on his tightest pair of pants, and the shirt that he had bought last week. He also looked around for anything he might be able to wear it, but then realized he didn't really... own accessories.

He thought long - very long - and hard - oh, so incredibly hard - before grabbing his phone and dialing the only number he knew could help him in his teenage homosexual crisis. "OMG Lenulah u nead 2 hilp mee with sumthin!!!!!!1!!" he shouted industriously.

"OMFG, WUT DO U NEED, ALLEN?" She practically screamed through the phone. "O WAYTE, DUNT U HAVE THAT CONSERT 2DAY?" She asked, and laughed.

"OMG Lenulah u r su smurt yeh i haev dat 2dai ttly!!!!!!!BUTT i ttly dunt haev anay kul neklessus an stuff 2 maek mee luk kewl an hawt!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!" He hyperventilated. Allen could never leave home without his cool necklaces to make him look cool and hot. Lenalee giggled and Allen's ear bled, making every following word sound gurgly. "OH AREN U LUK KEWL ENY WAI CUZ U R GAI AN AL SENSITIVELY....."

Allen smiled. "U flatteret mi." He continued to stare at the male in the frame, and waited for him to just jump out of that. It didn't happen, just in case you're wondering. "AI NO. ISLE BE THAR EN A MINUET. KOMUI SED HE KEN DRIVE MI."

At these words, Allen happily jumped up and down, the closet suddenly hopping along, along with any other piece of furniture in the room. It took Allen a fallen wardrobe and several wallcracks to figure out the hopping of furniture was not because they were all just that happy for him. "TUNK yew LInulah u r suh a gud frandd!!!!!!!!!!!IL c u latorz!!!!!!11!!"

"L8R G8R." Lenalee screamed, and hung up. However it took ten minutes of the 'beeping' noise from the other side and the doorbell ringing for Allen to figure our that she hung up on him. "OMFGG. U hung up on mi, LAWL."

Screaming like a Yaoi fangirl finding out there is a gay couple living in her block, he ran down the stairs, only to get pulled by the hair by Cross, who was sick of the constant sex-noises coming from his female not-so-very-much son's room at night while he knew all that was there was that creepy picture in the gay frame, while he was trying to sleep through his hangover. Cross' hand alone, though, was not enough to stop him, and he was left with a bodyless hand of white hair while his prey simply ran on with a large bald spot on the back of his head. Oh well, Cross shrugged, he could always cover it with one of them fucking Mexican hats his friend always wore.

"LINULAH, OMFGGGGG, I DUN HAV N-EE AXISORIES." Allen shouted, and Lenalee pulled out a huge bag which had tons of hats, necklaces, bracelets, and various other things. "OMAIGOGZ, ARAN, U LUK HAWT."

"inu rite?!!!!!!!!Ijuszt did muh hare!!!!!!!!!" He strook a pose akin to the Fonz dancing naked. Lenalee didn't laugh. Instead, she just shouted "LOL!!!!!!!!!!" hardcore, making the remaining braincells which hadn't been destroyed by alcohol yet explode, only to leak out of Cross' ears and dirtying the manly carpet. "LOL LUK UR UNKEL" She pointed at the man who had just dropped the handful of white, conditioned hairs. Allen didn't bother to look. Instead, he just ROFL'd along and took Lenalee's hand to lead her to his room.

Once he got there, he looked around. "O, Linulah, I added eh knew posestar 2 mai rum." He said, pointing to the life-sized picture that he recently got from his other best friend, Lavi. He knew how much Allen loved the star, and he saw it when he was at the store, with Allen's name instantly popping into his head. Allen looked at himself in the mirror, and practiced his smile. "O, AREN. UR WHORING TOO MUCH CLOTHS. UR GOING 2 TAKE THEM ALL OF FER TYKI N-EEWAY."

Allen pondered about this for a total of about fifteen minutes when he just shrugged and took his pants and shirt off. He looked at Lenalee, and flashed. She looked happy with the results. "OMG AREN DATAS PREFUKT!!!!!!!EEL TTLY NOT ICE U LIEK DIS!!!!!!/!11!12"

"ai shur hoepz so!!!21321!!!!!!##" Allen screamed excitedly. He took a hat out of a bag and placed it on his head, covering the bald spot, and then grabbed Lenalee's hand, pulling her out the door. Walking down the block, he got on a bus that was headed to the location of the concert that he was so happy to see.

"omg LInulah IM FINUlah goin 2 c !!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Allen spazzed out and hit the old, incapable old man on the back of the bus in the face with his long, elastic and thin arms. "OH HEL YEH U R GUUURLFRAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!" she shouted, spitting the bus driver in the face, only to have him scream - followed by Lenalee's comment of "GAWD DUNT BEE SU LOWED PLZ" - and try to frantically drive on, non-succeeding and crashing their bus right in front of the concert terrain. Allen ran out of the bus. Or, I should say he tried to run, but he later realized that the door was closed. "O MAI GAWD OUCH MAI I!!!!!#!#!!!!" He said, as he slid down and got stabbed in the eye with the door handle. He ran off the bus anyway, and squealed when seeing his idol.

His eyesocket bled, but he didn't care. He saw the grey, unearthly skin and yellow eyes and orgasmad, his underwear - the only thing he was still wearing after his cozy stripdown - soaking wet after that experience. He ran, and ran, not thinking of the obsticals he was running into or the body parts he lost - those being toes, nor thinking about his friend who was still getting out of the bus with her Mexican hat whatever you call those. During the whole concert, Allen screamed the loudest. Maybe that's what caused Tyki to stare suspiciously in the crowd. Maybe he just saw the really nude boy.

Maybe it was just the fully erect penis staring at him from the underwear of said boy. No matter what it was, it made him have the undeniable urge to lick his lips and bare his teeth.

After the show, Allen screamed, and ran back stage, running directly up to Tyki. "OMGGGG, AI EM UR BIGGEST PHAN."

Tyki just kept staring at the boy's obvious erection in his Victoria's secret underwear, and decided to open his sexy lips to let a large river of drool escape. When the entire stage was flooded and all the fans were several metres away - meaning out of Allen's eyerange - Tyki opened his mouth and spoke in a husky, low, raspy voice. "Hey baby, you want an autograph?"
"YES. PLEASE. SRS. SIGH MAI... UM..." Allen didn't know what to say to the sexy man that was standing in front of him. Though, he did desperately want the man to sign something.

Tyki raised a thin, sexy eyebrow and took a pen out of his breastpocket. "Sign your what?"

Allen's eyes widened in realization. How could he be so stupid? The only thing obviously worth of signing had to be--

"PLZ SIGN MUH PEENUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The end.

EXTRA:

"OH, TYKI. LAST NIGHT WAS SO GOOD. I think it saved me from my horrible grammar!" Allen grinned widely, and kissed the man in front of him.