I am still writing Diversus Vicis, although I must admit that it does not have my full attention. In between getting food poisoning at a recent uniform conference for work (yay for hotel food) and coming down with my manager's flu (if he tells us not to come in with it then why does he, I ask you) my mind has been elsewhere. Apparently my mind has been here, in another fic set post the season five finale and we don't even know what's going to happen yet!

I'm not sure if I'm continuing this yet, though the likelihood is that I am since I haven't even got to the part relevant to the title yet. I figure if I split my time evenly between this and Diversus, I should be able to keep on top of things.

Title is inspired by Newton Faulkner's song Dream Catch me, and this author's note is in real danger of becoming longer than the chapter.

Disclaimer: I still don't own them, if I did the UST would swiftly become otherwise and we would all be treated to a nice show. Safe to say that I don't own, but I like to play with them, which is probably much more fun.

Dedicated to all the girls in the guild, you know who you are.

Dream Catch Me.

Sam says 'yes' to Lucifer in Detroit exactly six months after Death rose, just as the fallen Morning Star said he would. Dean never actually finds out why, they got separated by angels of all things and when Dean had finally found his brother three days later, it had not been Sam at all.

He barely escaped with his life.

The only reason that Dean did escape is Castiel. Without the timely intervention of the falling angel he would have been just another corpse, just another nameless, useless, body. In the eight months that follow, he comes to rely heavily on his friend. He also gets to see first hand the effect that rebellion against Heaven is having on Cas. If anything, knowing that it is his fault that Castiel is so lessened and it hurts almost as much as the pain of losing Sam because now there is no way that they can both walk away from this. It is either him or his brother.

In the end he says 'yes' to Michael.

He makes sure that he puts conditions on it, there is no way that he is going to say yes and then be forced to watch through his own eyes as Castiel is killed for disobedience. He makes Michael promise that Cas will survive, that not only will his friend survive but that he will be restored to his full power and position within Heaven with no repercussions. Dean fully expects Michael to say no. He is surprised when the archangel agrees to his terms.

Dean never thought to add any terms for himself, never thought that Michael would keep his promise made only months, and yet years, ago. He expects to be left either dead at the end of this or as a burnt out husk.

Neither is what actually happens to him.

He wakes up next to Sam's dead body, having an archangel fling itself from you like it's ass is on fire will leave a person unconscious after all, but he knows what happened. He remembers it clear as day, remembers watching as Lucifer begged Michael to see the truth, to see what mankind has done to the precious and wondrous gift given to them. He feels the sorrow in Michael as the archangel disagrees, tells Lucifer that he does not understand, that he never will. He watched the battle with the hope that he would be killed, not because he wanted Lucifer to win but because he does not think he can live without Sam.

Now he gets to test that theory.

It is three days until Castiel comes to Dean. The clear up has been extensive, is still going on and likely will be for many years to come, this is the first time that his superiors will have let him take a moment to go to the vessel and from the expression on a face that should be stony, Dean knows that he wishes that he had been able to come sooner. The hunter's arms are still wrapped around his brother's corpse, long gone cold and discoloured, he reeks of death, decay and despair, knows he does because he can smell it on his own skin. Still, he does not fight when Castiel pulls him to his feet, pulls him away from Sam, just follows, meek, grief stricken and tired from too long spent as everyone else's puppet.

The angel stares up at him for a long moment before resting a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Dean," he says and though the old power is back in his voice, it is still soft and genuinely sorrowful. "I'm so very sorry," and the hunter sags into the hand on his left shoulder, so close to the mark that Castiel left there, feels tears that have not yet been shed fill his eyes as he leans forward and buries his face in Cas's trench coat. His breath eases out of him in one, long, agonised sigh and he feels the angel's arms slide around him, holding him tight and clinging to him.

Somewhere, far, far, in the back of his mind, it occurs to him that Castiel is also grieving for Sam.

"Tell me what you want," the angel whispers, that same voice of gravel that soothed him after Sam said yes, "tell me what you need."

"I just need...." he does not know what he needs, what he wants, all that he knows is that he cannot be here, looking at Sam's lifeless face. He cannot hold that vigil again. "I need time, I need space," and just like that he pushes himself away from Castiel, squares his shoulders and tilts his chin up high and walks away.

Cas does not follow, though his eyes burn into Dean's back, and the hunter knows that when he is needed the angel will be there, just as he always has been.

This angst was not my original idea, nor was Sam being dead, it just happened. Oops.

Artemis