Hey, everyone, it's been a long year while we struggled tragicallly with our lives (#firstworldproblems). But two days ago, we decided, "Damn it! It's been such a while and we haven't finished Rosalyn!" Needless to say, it's been eating at us for a long time, and we're pleasured to pleasure you with the newest chapter of eye-burning perfection.

Meanwhile, recap of what had been going on, in case you've forgotten where our saga has been going, although we'd much rather you go back and read it because we're lazy and terrible authors.

One day, perfect Rosalyn, the most perfect girl ever, (because Rosalyn can be most perfect) found herself in the Death God World, where she was awarded six Death Notes and brought to the human world. She found herself in the midst of Ryuuzaki's hotel room, full of detectives fighting to end Kira. Immediately, everyone falls in love with her, except for Matsuda, who is oblivious to her perfection.

Now, Rosalyn, has dragged Matsuda, her soul mate and love of her live, forcibly through a telephone booth and into a mysterious orphanage in England, where they are going to see two children Rosalyn wants to adopt.

As the door to the orphanage swung open, Matsuda had the strangest feeling of doom and destiny converging upon one another in this moment.

It was a well kept room; books lined the shelves and the carpet bore no dust. A wrinkled old man sat upon a chair in front of a desk (reminding Matsuda horribly of his elementary school teacher), his fingers drumming impatiently against the desk. He eyed the clock, and the moment Rosalyn stepped into the room, it began to chime at 2 o' clock, because Rosalyn was perfect and was always perfectly on time.

"Hello, my dear man," smiled Rosalyn. Immediately, the effects of her perfect, velvet smile (if smiles could be velvet, then Rosalyn would be the one that could make them velvet) warmed the room up considerably, even going so far as to brighten the general complexity of things, such that the entire room was bathed in a fluorescent light for a second or two. Except that it was more of a natural light than fluorescent, for Rosalyn could be nothing but natural - naturally perfect, of course. Or perfectly natural. Take your pick.

Just then, a white-haired boy in the corner who had been sitting in the corner, fiddling with crude plastic figurines, lifted his head and met Rosalyn's eyes.

"Oh, my dearchild," cried Rosalyn immediately, a perfect flush of happiness creeping up her perfect, perfect cheeks. She rushed over, and touched his toys. Immediately, the figurines morphed and cleared, becoming detailed and lifelike.

Near felt his throat go dry, and his brilliant mind, full of cogs and pulleys, stopped for the first time in his life. This... this perfect woman, before his eyes... so... so... perfect! He was going to do something. What was he going to do? He couldn't remember...

Rosalyn's perfect eyes softened perfectly at the distress of this young child, but just as she was about to speak words to him, she felt a tug and turned around. There was a blond, wide-eyed child, who was eating a chocolate bar.

"NEARRRR," the child shrieked. "NNNNOOOOO SHE IS MINEEE."

Both children promptly dive-bombed Rosalyn, and she uttered a single, perfect shriek as she fell perfectly upon the carpet. Matsuda could only gape uselessly, wondering how to handle the two now-vicious children as they clung onto Rosalyn's smooth, pearly, perfect arms.

The sound of tiny drumming feet quickly filled the hallway as the other children came in to see what all the commotion was about, and Matsuda was shoved onto the floor as a flood well-dressed younglings ran into the room. For a second, the blond boy and the white haired one stopped fighting as Rosalyn got up, her hair perfect and her breath coming in adorable, perfect, little gasps. Then all hell broke loose.

The crowd of children surged onto Rosalyn, probably attracted to her perfect figure. Or maybe it was the sound of her perfect breathing - or her silky smooth hair, that fell to the floor? Mayhaps it was her perfect eyes, that drew all attention to them, which were, at the moment, a delicate color of pink newborn baby skin, with a touch of lilac, framed by her perfectly curled dark eyelashes (what color they are, we cannot say, for they are a mix of blood red and blood purple and blood black, but perfect).

"Take me home with you, Miss," chorused the little voices as they scrambled over her body, all eager to join that perfect lady. Help, thought Rosalyn faintly and perfectly, but she didn't make a sign of discomfort, because her perfectly kind heart understood the children's needs for a motherly figure.

Matsuda hoped she was suffocating. But alas, this was not to be.

"Galactic... rose... shimmer... power!" came a beautiful, perfect cry amongst the writhing bodies of young children. A blinding light came from the center of the children, and suddenly, a violent force of love emanated from within, blasting the pile away from the epicenter. All children, however, landed safely on their behinds, with perfect, non-vampiric sparkles. And amidst the perfect, neat rubble of the perfect explosion, stood Rosalyn, her hair flowing perfectly behind her although there was no wind, dressed with Frills Of Justice. The smell of rose petals came with each wave of her hair, and her outfit, dressed entirely in rose-pink-and-red petals, with sparkles, but perfect ones, was the most perfect superhero outfit ever.

Matsuda's eyes burned.

He noted that in one hand, she clasped one of those generic shoujo-anime transformation wands. Matsuda vaguely assumed that it used to be a toy, perhaps, maybe a puzzle, but when it came into contact with Rosalyn's hand, well...

The kindly old man stood up, his mouth half-opened in surprise. "Now, now, children. Settle down. Dear Miss Rosalyn is here only to see Mello and Near." He dabbed his bald forehead with his old gentlemanly napkin. "Miss Rosalyn, would you please escort them out before something serious happens?"

"Of course," replied Rosalyn seriously. Rosalyn, still in her mahou shoujo outfit, picked up Mello with one hand (Mello fainted in pleasure) and Near in the other (Near blacked out from the sheer ecstasy as well), and attempted to walk out the door - but was barricaded by a wall of small children, all looking determined to block her.

"No! Rosalyn! Take me home with you!" pleaded a little girl with a name tag of Christina Conlon. She promptly began to cry.

"I love you! Please!" demanded another child, aptly named volixia699, who was also clutching a butcher knife in hand.

"If you leave, I'm going to eat your soul," murmured HylianFox (previously known as eatinursoulz) dangerously, her eyes flashing with darkness and love.

Matsuda saw the familiar glaze of perfect tears in Rosalyn's coral-red eyes as she gently settled Near and Mello down on the floor. She took a cautious step forward, for she knew the balance of these children's hearts and minds were at risk. Oh, how she loved those children! The passion in her eyes was enough to set the world on fire (perfectly)!

She held up her transformation wand. Suddenly, the entire space around Rosalyn was illuminated by sparkles and a visible scarlet aura, and Rosalyn cried - perfectly, if I may add - "Floral scintillation sorporification!"

The scent of roses filled the front of the room where the children were standing, and in a moment, were covered by red scales that shimmered with the power of love and all that's good in the world. There was a flash of light as Rosalyn's perfect magic took hold, and then... silence.

All the children had fallen asleep, peacefully, perfectly.

Rosalyn, with a perfectly determined expression on her face, picked up Near and Mello again, and then hoisted Matsuda over her shoulder and flew into the telephone booth.

"Wow," breathed Matsuda, as Rosalyn set him back down again and began pressing the buttons on the telephone booth perfectly. "That was, uhm..."

"I know," smiled Rosalyn perfectly. Then her expression twisted perfectly, and her regular clothes appeared. She seemed perfectly relieved, and glad that Near and Mello were safe and sleeping soundly. "It seems like my magical powers only come on when I'm in need."

Matsuda managed to crank out a worried smile. Dear God, he thought. This woman...she's a magical girl! Oh, Madoka! Please rescue her from becoming a witch, for surely...

A sudden thought struck his mind, the impact of it sending him whirling back a few steps. He gasped dramatically, hands clutching at his chest, as the epiphany consumed his entire mind.

Meanwhile, Rosalyn was occupied with transporting them back to Japan. The portrait of the rainbow robot unicorn prancing happily through green fields was still there, but its robotic expression seemed to stare deeply into Matsuda's soul.

"Oh, Matsu-darling," cooed Rosalyn. Her perfect face was filled with pure happiness. "W-we have children now! Ourchildren. Aren't you happy?" As she smiled beatifically, a radiance filled the entire telephone booth. A divine light shone from nowhere, and the scent of newly-blossomed roses filled the air.

"Yes, I'm h-happy," choked Matsuda, who pressed himself against the sparkling paint to be as far as possible from Rosalyn and was struggling not to breathe in the perfume. "Rosie-honey-dear," he added as an afterthought. His head spun, but he smiled bravely.

"I'm so glad!" squealed Rosalyn. She stepped over to clutch Matsuda, but he smoothly avoided her arms. His Coat sighed with disappointment.

Matsuda nodded curtly. He had a plan, now; he knew exactly how to get this creature from hell out of this world, and back to where she came from. Matsuda was immensely pleased with himself, and decided to treat himself to a drink or two afterwards.

Meanwhile, Rosalyn had finished pressing the buttons on the telephone booth perfectly, and the booth began to twirl sickeningly. This time, though, Matsuda was prepared for the violently sick motions that he attributed mainly to venomous roller coasters, and did not projectile vomit.

"Rosie," said Matsuda with dignity, after the telephone booth had stopped spinning. "I have to go." Before he could hear Rosalyn's response, he sprinted towards his apartment, leaving the perfect girl behind with her, no, their, new children.

Thanks for reading! We hope you enjoyed your perfection. It's not too late to go back and wash your eyeballs with some dirt and imperfect H2O.

Oh, yes. Our "Give Us Reviews, We'll Give You A Cameo If Your Review Is Good" deal is still ongoing because we are shameless and want reviews. If you're lucky, we'll put you in the next chapter, and PM you if you were selected once the chapter came out.

Anyway, thanks a lot for reading! We hope you're not dead yet!