Be warned, this is kind of a crack!fic. (Yet again.) I mean, read it seriously, but the plot line is all crack. It would never happen. The title is a physics joke. Anyone who gets why it's important gets...uh. Bragging rights? Because they're smart? Good for them?

WHY did I write this? Has anyone ever seen the 1991 White Fang? Starring none other than our very own Ethan Hawke? Well, that movie was my CHILDHOOD. I watched it every day, WAY before I knew about DPS or even who Ethan Hawke was. Anyway, there's a scene in the movie where Ethan's character (Jack) walks out onto a frozen lake (because he's dumb) and falls in. Really, how could I NOT write this?

EDIT! I FIXED SOME GRAMMATICAL ERRORS I SPOTTED! *retches* UGH! My friends, family and teachers would all maul me if they'd seen the first draft of this that I posted. WHY DIDN'T Y'ALL TELL ME! D:

Coefficient of Friction

Neil and Todd ran through the snow. It was one of the first big snows of the year, and the electricity of the coruscating feathers of ice surged through them. They chased each other over Welton's white grounds like a pair of nine-year-olds, laughing, shouting, tripping and falling. Out of nowhere, Neil jumped at an unsuspecting Todd, grabbing his shoulders and wrestling him to the ground.

"Neil! What the hell?" Todd laughed.

"I'll race you to the dock!" Neil was erupting with energy. He leapt to his feet, wild with excitement. Laughing like a madman he charged down the slope, towards the T-dock. Todd stumbled to his feet and sprinted after him.

Despite Neil's head start, it was only a matter of seconds before Todd had matched his stride and easily overtaken him.

They both hurtled onto the snow-covered dock, Todd slightly ahead. What they hadn't known was that beneath the snow was a layer of ice. Without the benefit of grass to provide traction, they both slid. Caught off-guard, Neil fell flat on his face. Todd, however, remained momentarily on his feet, but his forward momentum sent him flying off the edge of the dock.

The lake had frozen over, but the ice was not nearly thick enough to support the weight of a person, especially one hitting it with such force. Todd cried out as he hit the water, so cold it burned. He made a instinctive grab for the dock as he'd fallen and pulled himself out almost immediately, but the damage was done. Neil was at his side in a second.

"Todd! Are you alright?"

"Y-yeah. I..." Todd struggled to catch his breath. He was soaked and was shivering so violently that he could barely speak. In the single-digit cold, the water on his clothes had already begun to freeze.

"Come on. We have to get you inside."

Minutes later, Neil and Todd were in their room. Without hesitating Todd had fought his way out of the frozen vice of his clothes and burrowed under the covers, curling up into as tight a ball as he could make.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Neil stood by Todd's bed.

"Y-yeah," was all he could manage. Neil watched Todd for a second, considering, and then pulled off his jacket, kicking off his shoes.

"Scoot over," he said, sitting on the edge of Todd's bed and unbuttoning his shirt. Todd stared at Neil in surprise.

"W-what?"

"Move over a little, make room." Neil dropped his shirt on the floor and unbuttoned his pants. He lifted his hips so that he could pull them down and dropped them in a pile with the rest of his clothes. After hesitating for a second, Todd scooted back against the wall, and, before he had a chance to protest, Neil had climbed into the bed next to him in nothing but his underwear.

Neil pulled the covers up over the both of them and lay down as close as possible to Todd. He gasped as his bare skin touched Todd's. "You're freezing!" He laughed as he pulled the blanket even tighter around them both, wrapping an arm around Todd's shoulder.

"N-Neil. Is this a good idea?" Todd tried to squirm away from his roommate, but he was already against the wall, with nowhere to go.

"Of course it is, dummy," Neil said, pulling himself closer to the shivering Todd. "You know you could get sick like this!"

"B-but what if s-someone-"

"Then we'll just show them your hair. It's soaked." Todd sighed and rolled his eyes. "Hey, I'm not moving." Neil smiled impishly. He ran his fingers through Todd's hair, making Todd roll his shoulders in a feeble suggestion of discomfort. "You really are soaked," Neil laughed quietly.

"Shut up." Todd tried to hit Neil's hands away. He looked away, vaguely in the direction of Neil's shoulder. "T-that was s-so stupid."

"What? The falling in thing?" Todd shrugged noncommittally. "No, wanna know what's stupid? At least you can keep your feet under you in the snow! If I hadn't fallen on my face I'd have been in the water right with you!" Todd laughed reluctantly. He shivered and relaxed his head on the pillow.

"I-I'm f...freezing." He squeezed his eyes shut. Neil laughed and playfully rubbed up and down Todd's ribcage, trying to create some friction.

"I'll bet."

Todd lay with his forehead against Neil's shoulder for a few moments. His muscles were contracting so badly that it felt like his ribs would break. He slowly became aware of the the pins and needles sensation of the feeling returning after prolonged exposure to the cold. The pins soon became daggers, and he was rendered incapable of moving or speaking as the white heat consumed his entire body. He was in too much pain to resist Neil's soothing touch, his hand still cool from the air outside.

Gradually, the feeling passed. As the pain subsided back into cool numbness, Todd opened an eye and looked down at Neil's hand still stroking his side. "W-what are you doing?" Neil didn't answer at first. He didn't seem to be paying attention.

Todd tried to squirm away from Neil's roving hand. The light touches were sending cold, crawling shocks up and down his spine. It was as if Neil were running his fingers under Todd's skin, fluidly, thickly through the fissures in his bones, along the slick, raw internal muscle. What had once been analgesic was now becoming just as distressing as the initial plunge into the water. A savage, involuntary spasm shook Todd's body – a chaotic mingling of pleasure and pain. He was shivering just as violently as he had been when they'd first come inside. Neil seemed to come to his senses.

"Sorry. Here." He scooted closer to Todd, closing the gap between them completely and wrapping his arms around him. He adjusted himself so his nose rested in the crook of Todd's neck. A wave of neon heat, pleasure bordering on the taboo, rushed from somewhere between Todd's legs as Neil touched and breathed on that sensitive nerve. It leapt into his core to ravage his stomach and then into his head to terrorize his brain for an instant, only to fade to a small but insistent guilty feeling lurking in the forefront of his consciousness. He managed to mask his inner paroxysm and lay there with Neil, too close, completely still for a few long moments.

Todd knew that Neil meant well, but he also had a feeling that his roommate was completely oblivious to what was happening beneath Todd's skin.

When he could bare it no longer, Todd turned his head awkwardly. "W-what are you doing?" Neil lifted his head so he could look at him, taken aback.

"Keeping you warm..." There was a beat where they looked at each other. Neil was so close that Todd could barely see more than the pupils of his eyes, so dark that light and expression seemed to fall into them. Whatever Neil was thinking was completely lost on Todd, and he hoped that his own thoughts were equally enigmatic.

Without warning, Neil leaned in and kissed him, simply and solidly. Todd brought his hands up to Neil's shoulders in a fruitless attempt to push him away, and turned his face when Neil tried to follow.

"W-why are you doing this?" Neil looked at him as if it were obvious.

"I like you," he said, matter-of-factly. He leaned in for another kiss. Todd did nothing to stop him this time. Neil's lips were warm and inviting, and this time, the kiss was much more comfortable – less amateurish than the first had been. Todd could feel Neil's eagerness and, to a greater extent, curiosity in the way that he pressed himself to him. It was easy for Todd to simply allow himself to sink into it; this effortless and familiar act of kissing, transfigured into something entirely new because it was Neil. For some reason with Neil this felt so nice. How easy it would be for Todd to just let Neil kiss him and explore. However, nerves ultimately got the better of him he moved his head again.

"We're both boys.

"So?"

"So, we're-we're not supposed to..." he looked down at Neil's body pressing against his own. "We're not supposed to be doing this."

"Hey, I'm just making sure you don't get sick. You know how sneaky hypothermia is, don't you?"

"B-but you kissed me! That's different from just keeping me from getting sick!" They stared at each other. Neil blinked slowly and smiled at Todd, almost enjoying his roommate's alarm.

"Look, I'm sorry. I...I couldn't help it." When Todd failed to meet his gaze, Neil seemed to come to his senses. His smile faded, and he was suddenly serious. "Okay, okay...I'll back off." He lowered his hand away from Todd's face and rested it back on his side. "But I'm not moving. I really don't want you to get sick."

Todd sighed resignedly and lay his head back on the pillow. He closed his eyes and realized he was still cold. He squirmed in an attempt to find a more agreeable position, and after some self-adjusting he found himself with his head on Neil's chest, his arms tucked up against his torso. They lay in silence for a while. With Todd's chest pressed against Neil's ribcage, they could each feel the other breathing. Neil laughed quietly.

"Your hair is really cold."

"Sorry."

I CHANGED IT A LITTLE SO THAT NEIL IS MORE OBVIOUSLY A PRUDE! (Don't worry. I didn't delete anything. I just added to it.) Uh. I know the point of writing is letting something go and allowing the reader to interpret it as they will, but I just LOVE the idea of Neil being a prude and Todd...not.

Alright, well, I personally like how they almost shake off the kiss. I know it's unrealistic for the '50s, but, well, they have kind of a weird chemistry/relationship. So...*shrug*

My personal critique? It's narrative (and syllable)-heavy in places and, as always, my ending fails at existence! Uh? I can't tell whether or not they're in character, because they're horribly under-developed here.