A/N : First story. Hope you like it. That's all I'm gonna say, as of now :)

Disclaimer : As much as I would like to claim it as mine, it's all J.K. Rowling's. Kudos to her.

Complete darkness. Complete stillness. Complete silence. Except for the quiet ticking of a watch.

Tick….tick….tick….

Something stirred. The creature emitted a snuffling noise and rolled over, burrowing further into its den.

Tick….tick….tick….

Suddenly, a loud POP broke the silence. At the same time, a figure appeared out of thin air and waved its hands around. At once, the heavy green curtains burst open, causing bright sunlight to flood the room. The creature jolted awake and yelled in fright at the sight of the tall woman cackling loudly in the middle of the room. She seemed to be in a stage of insanity, from her wild hair to her disheveled attire to the crooked stick in her hand. The creature, on the other hand, had revealed itself to be a teenage boy with a shock of white-blond hair sticking up in all directions. His bedroom, illuminated by the sunlight streaming through the large windows by the bed, was decorated with a simple silver and green theme, not too overbearing but quite obvious. Lining the walls and floor were a desk, an expensive-looking broomstick, several scraps of parchment, some crumpled robes, and a large bed, in which lay the sleepy-eyed boy, who was rubbing his eyes and looking quite cross.

"Urgh, must you do that every morning?!" Draco complained groggily, shielding his eyes from the blazing sunlight.

"Oh, Draco, darling!" Bellatrix trilled, "It's time for our daily Occlumency lesson!"

Draco groaned and threw the emerald green bedcovers over his head, hiding from both the sun and his crazy aunt, only to have them yanked off and thrown on the floor.

"Come along, dearie! It's already seven o'clock, and you haven't begun your day!" His Auntie Bella turned to leave the room, but paused and pointed her wand over her shoulder, causing the covers to disappear and the curtains to chain themselves to the wall. "Those sheets needed to be washed anyways. And if you hurry down to breakfast, I might even teach you the spell to unlock those curtains." She flashed a malicious grin and ran down the stairs, shutting the door behind her.

Draco rolled his eyes. How could it be, he thought, that Bellatrix hated almost everyone she knew except him? Sometimes, he'd rather take the torture than his aunt's insufferable coddling, directed towards him and no one else. Sighing, Draco pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Both his parents and his aunt hated it when he wore Muggle clothing. According to his father, "Malfoys do not dress like commoners. They dress professionally." However, Draco wasn't planning on going out that day, so he could at least annoy his aunt without looking like a bum to anyone else.

The teenage boy leisurely walked through the maze that was Malfoy Manor until he finally reached the dining room. Sitting around the table having breakfast were his father Lucius at the head, his mother Narcissa to the right, and his aunt Bellatrix to the left. Draco paused, wondering whom to sit by, and chose the lesser of two evils, sliding into the seat next to his mother. Bellatrix looked slightly crestfallen when she saw this and even more so when she noticed Draco's attire.

"Draco. What are you wearing?" asked Bellatrix, trying to use nonchalance to cover up her annoyance. It did not work.

"Clothes, obviously," sneered Draco, piling his plate with eggs and sausages.

"Draco, do not talk to your aunt in such a tone," interjected Narcissa.

Draco rolled his eyes and muttered, "Yeah, whatever" underneath his breath. He knew that no matter how he talked to his aunt, she wouldn't care, as long as he didn't go too far. That might elicit some punishment…

"Lucius, tell him!" Narcissa turned to her husband for support.

"Narcissa, Draco is old enough to know what to say and what not to say," Lucius replied distractedly, intently scanning the Daily Prophet he held in front of his face.

Meanwhile, Bellatrix had been ignoring this and continued to stare at her nephew's attire. Draco assumed that she was formulating some plans that would involve him wearing a suit while torturing innocent people. He quickly shoveled the rest of his eggs into his mouth, gulped down his pumpkin juice, and stood up, intending to rush up to his room before Bellatrix could stop him.

He was too slow.

"Draco! Where do you think you're going?" Bellatrix grinned evilly. "You just can't wait to have lessons with your favorite auntie, can you?"

"Uh, right, lessons. Well, Auntie Bella, I still have some homework. I mean, summer vacation has just begun. I should probably get started on Charms…." His voice trailed off as Bellatrix shot him a glare that could have incapacitated small children.

"Draco Malfoy, if I didn't know any better, I would think that you prefer learning that Charms filth to studying with your own aunt!" screeched Bellatrix, waving her wand around threateningly. "How dare you suggest such a thing!"

"No, I didn't mean that," replied Draco quickly. He knew that at least once a day, his aunt went crazy on someone. Today, it just happened to be him, just after breakfast even. She might be able to squeeze in two conniptions today, mused Draco. "I was just saying that, you know, if I get it done early, then I have the rest of the summer to spend with you?" He ended the statement as a question, unsure whether this would calm the madwoman standing before him.

"Oh. Of course, dear, how could I ever believe you would prefer that useless subject to your dear auntie's teaching? Silly me," Bellatrix jabbered, rapidly changing from insane-and-slightly-frightening Death Eater back to his auntie, over-affectionate and sickly sweet with just a hint of the murderous gleam in her eyes. "Well, I'm finished here. Let's head off, Draco, darling!" Bellatrix pranced out of the room.

Draco followed his aunt as she weaved in and out of different hallways, occasionally peeking behind her to make sure he was still behind her. Every morning, the lesson was in a different room of the manor, and every lesson was something completely different. Draco still remembered his very first lesson with his aunt. He was only five years old, and she had taught him how to control his magic in order to set things on fire, making him practice on grasshoppers. Of course, being five, he didn't really know what to do. Sometimes it had worked, and the grasshopper had exploded into flames, hopping around frantically and setting the living room curtains on fire. Sometimes it hadn't, and the grasshopper had flown out the window….

"Oh Draaaacoooo!"

Bellatrix's voice snapped Draco out of his reverie, and he was surprised to find himself in a room he had never seen. It was very large and had a parlor setting with a fireplace, couches, coffee tables and a china hutch.

"Yes, Auntie?" replied Draco warily. He had no idea what he would be doing in here.

"Now dearie, I realize by now that you are quite skilled at Occlumency, yes? You have had much practice guarding against Snape this past school year, which I am very proud of." She smirked at Draco as though she had been the one to do all the work. "And I believe it is time that you move on to a new subject."

Thoughts whirled through Draco's head. What would it be this time? Torture, death, Unforgivable Curses, dark magic, destruction, sexual practices….. Draco shuddered at this last thought and wished with his entire being that this was not what Bellatrix meant. The last thing he needed was Sexual Education classes from his aunt, who was trapped in a horrid marriage and crazily in love with the most dangerous dark wizard of all time. Draco almost gagged when he remembered the way Bellatrix had practically thrown herself on the Dark Lord the last time he had come to the Manor.

"Ummmm….." was all Draco could say, his mind still dwelling on the dire hope that his aunt would not try to interfere with his so far non-existent sexual life. He didn't need his aunt, of all people, finding out that he was still a virgin. His reputation at school warranted him an automatic "no questions asked" policy that everyone obeyed, both out of fear and respect. But that would all go down the drain if Bellatrix found out and began spreading it amongst the other Death Eaters…

"Ooo, you're just DYING to know what I'm going to teach, aren't you?" taunted Bellatrix. She paused for Draco's response. Receiving none, she went on, "Oh alright, stop nagging me, I'll tell you!" Bellatrix paused again, perhaps for dramatic emphasis. Draco struggled to not roll his eyes again and impatiently fidgeted.

"Draco. You will be learning about—"

Suddenly, a crash came from elsewhere in the Manor.

A/N : Alright, as this is my first story, it's pretty rough, but reviews are definitely appreciated and desired and will be responded to because I REALLY wanna know what you think! Thanks to my friend Anna for being my unofficial Beta, for giving me the grasshopper idea, and for being obsessed enough with Bellatrix to inspire the writing of this story in the first place.