Title: Hindsight

Summary: The story of the infamous first kiss, told from a fourteen year old Naomi's POV.

Disclaimer: Don't own Skins or anything related to the show.

Rating: T

I hate parties. What I hate more than parties is fifteen year old arseholes getting drunk at said parties and trying to rave it up like it's nineteen ninety-nine. In actual fact the 'rave' I'm currently being forced in to attending consists of twenty or so teenagers with glow sticks and alcopops crammed in to a two bedroom semi-detached with the latest ministry of sound CD blaring out of the speakers. The volume is turned up far too high for the speakers to handle and the music is coming out cracked and distorted.

The music is giving me a headache and the glow sticks are getting right on my tits. I have a bottle of vodka to myself, the perks of having a bohemian mother I suppose, and it's the only weapon I have in this god forsaken place. Friends from school have dragged me here and fucked off somewhere among the mass of pulsating bodies.

I gave up trying to find them ages ago and so I just fight my way through the crowd and make my way out in to the back garden. It's mid-September and the night air is unseasonally warm. It's quieter out here and I can finally hear myself think. Not that I have any intentions of remaining sober enough to think. I'm not quite at mortal yet, but I'm just past tipsy. I don't usually get wasted when I'm out, but I caught sight of her.

The loud mouthed fiery redhead I suffered with through all of middle school. Katie fucking Finch. We go to different high schools but I guess the party was pretty much open to anyone. She's loud and obnoxious, one of those look-at-me-aren't-my-tits-lush kind of girls that I loathe. Not that I've exchanged more than two words with the girl. Her presence at the party has mostly unnerved me not because of Katie herself, but because wherever Katie Finch goes her twin Emily is sure to follow. Even saying her name sends shivers running up and down my spine. And I fucking hate it.

I'm not one of those pathetic saps who believe in soul mates and love at first sight...

Except I sort of fell in love with Emily Finch the first time I saw her.

She's small and cute, honest and genuine; everything her loud mouth sister isn't. I had just turned twelve when I started middle school with her, and unfortunately twelve is a very delicate age to be presented with the question of your sexuality. So naturally I went out of my way to avoid Emily at all cost and lost my virginity to a boy at the age of thirteen and a half. Sadly thirteen and a half is also the seconds said sex lasted.

I sit down on the lawn, my bottle clutched in my hands and my head tilted up to look at the stars, happy in my solitude. "Hi." I don't need to look down to know the voice that has just greeted me. I may have never spoken to Emily, but her husky voice is unmistakable. I feel my cheeks redden as I finally force my eyes to look at her.

The sight of the redhead blows my mind. She's wearing a purple and white flowery dress, which shows off an impressive cleavage for a fourteen year old, over yellow leggings which define her slim shapely legs. Her hair is loose and curled. Her lips are ruby red and they're curled up in to a smile. "It's Naomi, right?"

"Emily." I reply, my lips moving before my mind can catch up to them.

"No, that's my name." She giggles and I can tell she's just past tipsy as she stumbles over to me and plants herself down on the grass beside me. I hate the fact that I've just made a complete tit of myself in front of the girl I am madly in love with, despite the fact that I don't actually know her and I'm straight. I'm tempted to say something bitchy like I thought she was Katie, but as she looks up at the starry sky she looks so wide eyed and innocent and all my bitchiness melts away.

"Eugh. This stuff is rank." She pulls a face as she takes a mouthful of low sugar Bicardi breezer. No doubt Katie has told her to drink it. I unscrew my litre bottle of cheap vodka and take a large gulp for a little courage of the Dutch kind. Then I take the bottle from her hand and replace it with my own. She smiles at me before taking a large swig of the bottle. I press her half empty alcopop to my lips and try not to think of how her own lips have been wrapped around the same bottle. I down it in one and then toss the bottle aside.

Emily pulls another face as she hands me the bottle back. Our fingers brush and I almost drop the heavy bottle. "Eugh." Straight cheap vodka is not something that should be necked.

"Never said it was much better." I laugh, a drunken confidence settling over me. Emily laughs with me and sitting with her feels so easy that I start to wonder why I've never plucked up the courage to speak to her before.

"You didn't look like you were having much fun in there?" Emily smiles at me and I feel so light heated that I think I'm about to pass out. I take another mouthful of vodka and it begins to numb the sensation. Story of my life.

Has she been watching me tonight? Did she see me come outside and follow me?

Of course Naomi. Katie Fitch's very straight twin sister followed you outside because she wants to fuck you senseless over the BBQ pit. I try and shake the stupid thoughts that race through my mind and take another gulp. Emily takes the bottle from me as I go to raise it and grins as she takes another shot. "I don't really like parties."

I snort at this. I can't help it, apparently bitchy Naomi is still lurking beneath my calm inebriated exterior. "Your Katie fucking Finch's twin sister." My laughter dies as I take in the hurt expression on her face. She snatches the bottle away from me, trying to match me shot for shot, and shrugs.

"We're not totally the same you know." Her words send shudders through me, or maybe they're more to do with her knee which is pressed in to my thigh. My lips are dry and my heart is thudding against my rib cage. My God, I'm not even fifteen yet and I'm going to have a heart attack.

I think I must be shaking because she says something about me being cold and pulls off her cardigan. She places it over my shoulders, her red curls brushing against my face as she leans over to place it. I feel a throbbing between my legs and try not to whimper as she pulls away and settles back down on the grass.
"You- you'll get cold." I somehow manage to choke the words out. She shrugs and moves in closer to me so that our sides are flush against each other. The ache between my legs intensifies and I have to drink just to take my mind off the feel of her hot flesh pressed against my bare arms. Dear God she's trying to kill me.

"Maybe we should go back in?" She suggests as she begins to shiver. The night has turned cooler and feels more like Autumn should. I nod, not trusting myself to choke out any more words. Inside, with the heaving mass of bodies and the watchful eyes of Katie Fitch, will be much safer. For both of us.

She gets to her feet with my bottle of vodka in one hand and holds the other out for me. I take her hand and feel the walls I've built around myself slowly crumble as our hands fit perfectly together. She giggles and I'm not sure why, so I just grin like an idiot and follow her inside. I expect her to lead us in to the living room where most of the party-goers have congregated. But once we pass through the kitchen she drags me up the stairs and in to one of the bedrooms. She shuts the door behind us, drowning out the noise of the party. My legs collapse beneath me as I stumble over to the bed. Emily walks over to the ipod dock sitting on the bedside cabinet of who ever has thrown this party. I'm not quite sure I even know them. She puts in her own ipod and presses shuffle. The first song to play is by Paramore and I feel my self smiling. I don't know anyone else who is listening to this band yet.

We sit on the bed, quietly drinking in the atmosphere, as well as more of the vodka. Emily takes my phone from me without asking and puts in her number. She takes out her own phone and repeats the process. Four songs pass and we still haven't said a word. They're all little known, quirky bands and I think I've fallen in love with Emily Fitch's music taste. That is until Aqua's I'm a 'Barbie Girl' starts blasting and I'm overcome with a fit of giggles as she scrambles off the bed and skips to the next track. It's something slow and mostly instrumental and it lulls me back in to the drunken stupor I seem to have spent the last hour in. Her cheeks are the same colour as her hair as she sits back down on the bed; well more like lies down, her small lithe frame cuddles up beside me and I feel a matching blush spread over my entire body.

I'm drunk enough to let myself relax and I lie down beside her. My knees brushes against her leg and I feel her shudder. A ripple of excitement runs through me.

We're not totally the same you know.

Does Emily Fitch have a secret? I giggle and she looks at me inquisitively. "I was just wondering what Katie would say if she saw us up here." I don't know why I say it. Maybe my bitchy side is rearing her ugly head again.

"Who gives a shit?" Her reply is a little more defensive than she intended but we both end up laughing all the same. "Besides, it's not like we're doing anything wrong." Except she is because her shoes have been kicked off and her bare foot is rubbing against my leg.

"Nope." I agree, aware my fingers are tracing small circles on her forearm. Her skin is soft and delicate and my eyes are transfixed by her lips. I think I could stay here for the rest of my life, lying beside the red-headed goddess.

"Nothing at all." Emily agrees, an impish smile dancing on her lips.

She moves forward and suddenly those lips are pressed against my own. My mind shuts down and I'm just lying there with Emily lying half on top of me, her lips pressed against mine, desperately waiting for some sort of reaction from me. She goes to pull away, obviously frightened she's made a fool of herself. Her lips have barely left mine when I lurch forward and crush our lips together again. She groans in to the kiss and the ache between my legs has become unbearable. Our positions shift and somehow I'm on top of her. Her bony knee is stuck between my legs and if she doesn't stop wriggling I think I'm going to pass out. Her knee pushes harder against my cunt and I gasp in to the kiss. The red-headed temptress knows exactly what she's doing.

I pull away just long enough to catch some air and Emily looks up at me with big wide eyes. I've been in love with a stranger for three years. It's taken three long years and half a bottle of vodka for me to get the courage to even speak to her and now here we are. I'm lying on top of her and she's looking up at me expectantly. How far does she want this to go? Is this some sort of drunken mistake? A phase? Or does she feel the same way about me?

Can two strangers lock eyes for a second and fall instantly and irrecoverably in love with one another?

I have to tell her. This could be the only shot I get.

"Emily I-"

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Katie Fitch's screaming voice tears my attention away from the Fitch beneath me. She storms in to the room and drags me off her sister by my hair. I scream furiously and push her away. I expect Emily to jump in and defend me. To tell her sister she was an active and willing participant in our little debauchery. She jumps up, but doesn't even look me in the eye as she drags Katie away from me. She walks out of the room and doesn't look back once.

A few days later I sit in my room and stare at my phone. Emily's number stares back at me, daring me to make the call. I toss the phone aside. I've had three days of hell at school thanks to a friend of Katie's spreading it around that I'm gay. Running my hands through my hair I sigh and shake my head.

Fuck it. She hasn't rang me. Not even a lousy text.

That was the first time Emily Fitch let me down. I swore I would never give her the chance to hurt me again and I dived back in to my usual routine of sex, drugs and drink to numb the pain as I built my walls back up. Just over a year and a half later I sit at the back of the auditorium in Round View College. My eyes scan the crowd for familiar faces before catching sight of two redheads. The smallest one turns and catches me looking. She smiles uncertainly and I feel the familiar longing welling up inside of me. I don't return the smile. I look away as though I haven't seen her. From the corner of my eye I catch her face fall.

It breaks my heart all over again.

A/N: I got the inspiration to write this from the last episode of series four, when Naomi confesses she's been in love with Emily since she was twelve years old. Hindsight is after all a wonderful thing. I had intended for this to be a one shot, but I got really in to writing this. I've decided to do each chapter as an episode from series three told from Naomi's POV.