Monty Prussia

Genre: Humour/Adventure

Rating: T

Pairings: ?

Summary: In which cowardly Sir Robin loves tomatoes, Lancelot is actually chivalrous, no one can still remember Gawain, and a certain albino can't seem to count to three. Oh, and the English have the Holy Grail, go figure.

"Prussia" – Talking

'Spain' – Thinking

France – Other

Disclaimer: If I owned Hetalia then we wouldn't have our amazing Prussia and Gilbird. Sad, huh? And our beloved Monty Python wouldn't be funny if under my care.

Reviews

(I was so effing happy with how much attention this story was getting! And it's my first with all canon characters!)

AngelFart: First review! And thank you so much! It's hard to compare something's awesomness to Prussia xD; And yes, we (Prussia, Russia, and I) stab people :'D And that's a good idea… but now I'm indecisive…

yolapeoples: Haha~! I love that song! And yeah, well, it's safer for everyone that Vash didn't have guns… and thank you! I'm consulting my Monty Python obsessed friend about the characters and I fit them per my Hetalia knowledge! I think you'll love who plays Sir Robin xD;

Cestrescir: Haha, yeah, I do ^/^ My only free time for writing is away from the computer so I type on the notepad app and then email to myself to copy and edit on Word :3 What's awesome is I'll never get sick of this movie~ So I don't care how many times I have to re-watch it for this xD;

Thank you yolapeoples, ProfessorDoctorToThe3rdPower, unknown82641, Elsing, Cestrescir, Esso, and The-Charcoal-Alchemist for the favourites and alerts, and thanks to anyone who alerts/favourites/reads, even if you don't review!

A/N: Stupid errors I have to keep fixing. You probably want to kill me for how late this is… I BEG FOR FORGIVENESS! I've had no motivation to watch Monty Python lately since I get too focused on drawing! Well, I dragged myself through listening to that bloody peasant's ranting for you people. And I wasn't sure what character to make him exactly, so I went with Sealand (it's not in my computer dictionary!) because of the whole "equality" thing. Oh god… I had to keep from ripping my ears off. I wanted to use America but… I've got plans for him. Also, spelling and grammar on my laptop have officially been changed to Australian, the form that I first learnt to write under.

Recap:

Just then, Gilbert and his lackey quickly passed through, a shudder suddenly running down Gilbert's spine at the sight of the platinum blond and his unnatural smile.

"Who's that?" The golden blond asked.

"Hmm, who knows," the keeper answered vaguely, "Maybe a king?"

"Why?"

"He doesn't have sickness nor blood splattered all over him," the beige haired man just continued to smile as the golden blond now backed away, feeling he might be joining the cart of dead bodies.

End Recap

Gilbert continued down the worn pathway over the lush green grassy fields. Of course only the most epic music played in the background. His loyal servant followed as Gilbird viewed from its throne upon the awesome knight's head. Peasants dug at the ground with sticks. Sighting a cart being pulled by a person, the king made haste to stop and question the owner.

"Little girl-boy! Boy! Sorry," the cart slowed, "What knight lives in that castle over there?" Gilbert slowed beside the cart.

"I'm fourteen!" The youth cried indignantly.

"What?" Gilbert couldn't follow the seemingly random outburst.

"I'm fourteen! I'm not little!" He cried, blond hair rustling as he raised his head.

"Well I can't just call you boy! It's not awesome!" Gilbert replied in an equally childishly but still dignified voice since he was the awesome-est person/country/knight/being ever to exist.

"Well you could say Peter!" Peter tried glaring, though the result was more childishly cute than threatening.

"I didn't know you were called Peter," Gilbert tried to pacify with an exasperated sigh.

"Well you didn't bother to find out, did you?" Came Peter's snide remark. Gilbert had fleeting thoughts of beheading the boy for being so sarcastic.

"I did say sorry about the little girl, but from behind you looked-"

"Well I object," Peter said in a firm voice, "that you automatically treat me like an inferior!"

"Pfft! I'm King! You're just a peasant, of course I'm better! Besides, I'm awesome," Gilbert puffed his chest with pride.

"Oh, King aye? Very nice, and how'd you get that, aye? By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to our state of imperialist government, we perpetuate the economic and social differences in our society! If there's ever going to be any progress-"

"Peter! There's some lovely filth down here!" Gilbert cringed at the overly sweet voice as a ragged, um, woman he believed?-er, crawled into-the authoress gives up, just what was that scene?

"Ooh, how do you do?" 'Her' sweet voice chimed. Gilbert sucked it up.

"How do you do good-er-lady-"

"L-Lady? I'm a guy! First Peter calls me mom, now you're calling me a girl!" Well, even though his blond hair was too short for a female he was just too… feminine!

Gilbert decided to simply continue, "Ahem, I am Gilbert, King of the Prussians!" Gilbert puffed his chest in pride once more as Gilbrid cheeped happily., "whose castle is that?" The albino waved his arm at the far off structure, chainmail clinking.

"King of the who?" The blond asked all to innocently.

"The Prussians," the King replied, only slightly less incredulous. Now, with him, no one and nothing could ever equal his awesome self in anyway.

"Who're the Prussians?" Oh, the cocked head only added to the sweet demeanor.

"Well, we all are; we're all Prussians and I am your King," the sliver haired epitome of awesome almost sounded… hurt at the ignorance. Almost, but of course he wasn't because he was awesome.

"Didn't know we had a King, I thought we were all part of a collective," the blond stated.

"You're fooling yourself," Peter threw some… filth, into a rucksack, "we're living in a dictatorship! Of self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working class-"

"Oh there you go, bringing class into it again," the older blond sighed as both mindlessly piled mud into their bags.

"That's what it's all about!" Peter argued fiercely, "The only people here-"

"Mein gott! Stop it! Listen you un-awesome beings, I am in haste-who lives in that castle?" Gilbert pointed again, trying to contain such un-awesome frustration from hearing these peasants ramble about government and crap even the awesome Gilbert couldn't entirely comprehend (Because, admit it, unless you had gone through government in either high school or in some ungodly early time in your life you were LOST)!

The older of the two blonds glanced over his shoulder and answered somewhat bitterly, "No one lives there…"

Gilbert's astonishment only continued to rise, "Then who is your lord?"

"We don't have a lord," the older blond continued to pile the muck.

"What?"

"I told you!" Peter cut in, "We're an anarchic syndicate commune. We take it in turns to act as assorted executive officers-"

"Oh yes," Gilbert mocked as his chick ruffled its feathers in annoyance.

"But all legislations of that officer have to be ratified in a special bi-weekly meeting-"

"Yes I see!" Peter continued his just too damn annoying rant.

"By civil majority, in the case of internal civil affairs-"

"Be quiet!" Gilbert hissed.

"-but by a third majority in the case of all-"

"Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!"

"Order us?" The older blond piped up, "Who does he think he is…" he muttered.

"I am your King!" Gilbert argued.

"Well I didn't vote for you," the blond snorted as Peter went back to the grime before him.

"You don't vote for King…!" Gilbert just didn't understand the absolute un-awesome stupidity of these annoying peasants!

"Well, how did you become King then?"

"The Lady of the Lake…" a far off look reached the albino's gaze, "Her arms, clad in the purest of shimmering daylight, held aloft Gilbird from the bosoms of the water, signifying by divine sovereignty that, I, Gilbert, was to be sole keeper and tamer of Gilbird. That is why I am your King!" He snapped in finality.

"Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing little yellow baby chicks is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from mandate from the masses!" Peter almost whined, "Not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!"

"Be quiet!" Gilbert cut in to no avail.

"You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a chicken at you," Peter aggravatingly continued.

"Will you cut that out!" Gilbird was fingering the hilt of his sword at this point.

"If I went around saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint lobbed a flightless bird at me, they'd put me away!" Prussia menacingly stalked over as the older blond wisely left with his mud at that precise moment.

"Shut up-will you just shut up?" Gilbert had enough and started throttling the young boy.

"Oh! Now we see the violence inherent in the system!"

"Shut up!"

"Quick! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"

"Bloody peasant-!" Gilbert dropped the-quite rightly put-bloody peasant and decided not to waste his awesome on such a person.

"Oh what a give away-you hear that? You hear that, aye? That's what I'm on about! Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn't you?"

Let's say the authoress took care of the annoying peasant straight after. Idiotic man was so smart that he was a bloody twit. To leave you dear readers with questions to ponder before we, sadly, end, how did 'Peter' even realize Gilbird was the chick? Yellow and fluffy, too! Authoress shall end pointless ramble to avoid being awesomely stabbed. Gilbert says reviews make you awesome and to stay awesome until next scene/chapter-bye!

A/N: Oh dear god… That was ultimate torture… That scene is hilarious if you manage to understand what they are saying, but that peasant is SO annoying! That's probably the only scene I can't watch over and over… Brain dead, sorry for short chapter. Anyways, due to my overall laziness, I am now planning to collab on this story with a good friend of mine from DeviantArt. She goes by a few names, but her Hetalia account is AssistantInvisible (fff yes, Canada my dearies XD;), no space. Um, I don't know her fanfiction account… I'll ask Mewka what it is later unless a dear reader knows her :'D I really wish I had a script to this movie, but I guess YouTube comments repeating lines are helpful, too X3 It's summer now anyways and I'm super happy from good grades so I hope to be able to do more writing!

Cheerio my lovelies~!