A/N: Oh my god, you guys are amazing! Your reviews and getting the story-author-alerts-favs in my email totally got me through the hellish last few weeks. Now that I'm officially on break (WOOO!) my goal is to get all my stories updated, and hopefully update this one at least once a week! :D Thanks to all my lovely readers and reviewers! :D
Oh, and this chapter is a little spazzy cuz I wrote it literally right after my MCATs. So it definitely kind of wandered away from me...hope you enjoy anyway!
Chapter Five – Thursday (Post Impromptu Glee Practice)
"What's up with you?" Puck said, quirking an eyebrow when he saw her growl – literally – as she shoved her books haphazardly about.
"Jesus christ," Tina said, jumping at his sudden appearance. She glanced up and down the empty hallway. "How – where did you come from?"
"Well, when a man and a woman love each other-"
"Ew," she grimaced, "I retract my previous question."
"Sex is-"
"Stop. Now. Please."
"Someone needs a little action. You know, the Puckerone is always available to scratch that itch…,"he said, waggling his eyebrows in a decidedly indecent way.
"I don't even want to know," she sighed, turning back toward her locker.
"Okay. Seriously, what's got you all super-emo?"
"Super emo?"
"Whatever. You're doing that sulky chick thing," he said, leaning against the lockers. He paused and grimaced, "Is it…you know…cuz if it is, I don't want to know."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," she said, closing her locker.
"You know," he said, rolling his eyes. "The week of fun-lessness….happens once a month to gir-"
She snorted. "The week of fun-lessness? Why do I have the feeling that's more about you than the girl?"
"Well, the Puckerone can't get any when its, you know, so yeah. It's the week of fun-lessness."
"You're an idiot."
"That's a yes, then," he muttered.
"It is not a yes! Since you're gonna find out tomorrow anyway, Mr. Schue – actually, it's really all Rachel – has decided that we're breaking into groups of 3 to compete for the chance to choose one of the Regional songs."
"And?"
"And me, Rachel, and Artie are each in charge of a group."
"And?"
"And? Do you have any idea how long it's going to take to put together a whole set for four people? And it's such a pointless exercise. Everyone knows Rachel's gonna win, choose some dumb Broadway piece that 'perfectly accentuates her promising potential as a future Broadway star and highlight her meticulously developed, expansive vocal range' while the rest of us sway like palm trees behind her," she finished, a little breathlessly.
"Dude. You need to chill."
She stared at him. "Now I don't feel guilty about trading you."
"You traded me?" he exclaimed.
"Yup. Rachel had Matt and I couldn't break up the Matt-Mike duo, so…" she grinned a little maliciously, "enjoy working with Rachel."
"Wha-" he said, eyes wide and mouth open.
"You know, I heard she was thinking about doing that one Wicked song," she tapped her finger against her chin. "Popular, I think it was? I'm pretty sure she mentioned something about transposing Glinda the Good Witch's part into your key so it could be a duet…"
"Fuck. The shoe song?"
"Holy crap, I can't believe you've heard it!" Tina exclaimed, "Mr. Testostero-"
"My sister's a freak, okay?" he snapped. "It's not –"
"Oh my god. I just got the Puckerone thing. Is this your way of making yourself sound more masculine? Puck – testosterone. Puckerone…"
"What? No!"
"It all makes sense now. You know Freud would have something to say about this whole overcompensating thing."
"What?"
"You know you can tell me anything," she grinned teasingly. "I promise I won't judge."
"Ther- I- wh- There's nothing to tell!"
"Sure," she said, patting his arm. "My door's always open."
"Really?" he said, half-smirk-half-leer. "Bec-"
"Ew. Enough with the sexual innuendo already."
"Says the one who all but wrote it for me."
"Fish can choose not to bite," she giggled.
"What?"
"Oh, sorry. I figured with all your girly loves, you'd be an avid Gilmore Girls fan. Has it not progressed that far yet?"
"You're not funny," he frowned.
"Clearly a lie. I'm hilarious," she beamed.
"I think you heard them wrong. Little hint, they meant insane."
"Lies."
"Anyone who would trade the great Puckero-
Tina giggled.
"I-"
She giggled again.
"Fuck. You know what I mean! I can't believe you traded me!" he said, pouting – just a little, it wasn't even pouting it was more frowning. Yes, frowning, because damnit he was Puck. Who the hell would trade him? And it was just his ego that was bothered, not his feelings because he was Puck and Puck spat at feelings. He didn't know what feelings were. He-
She was grinning at him. Full on, just grinning.
"What?" he said irritably.
"You do care!"
"What? I do n-"
"See, now I do feel a little bad," she sighed.
"You should! I'm Puck."
She rolled her eyes. "Yes, I know. And relax, I didn't trade you. Tried to swap Quinn for Matt though, but Rachel had to get all moral and preachy and crap. Honestly, a simple 'no' would've sufficed."
"You didn't trade me?"
"Nope. "
"Really?"
"Yes, really. And, sorry about the whole screwing with you thing," she said, "And don't make that dirty."
"Damn."
"Really," she said, placing a hand lightly against his arm. "I didn't mean to hur-." She stopped, and Puck wondered for a moment if he had made a face or something, but she continued quickly, "I was just peeved and I just…anyway. I didn't mean anything by it, really. I wouldn't trade you for anyone an-"
"Chill," he said, pressing his palm against her lips because damn the girl could babble once she got started. "It's cool. Funny too. Hell, we should totally mess with Mike cuz that boy has got a freakin' phobia the size of Montana when it comes to Berry."
"Montana?" she asked once he'd moved his hand.
"Yeah. Ask him about his dream about being trapped on a berry farm in Montana with Berry. It's some funny shit, he even gets all nervous and twitchy."
"Seriously?" she laughed. "You know, you totally just made my day."
"Yeah, well," he ran his hand through his Mohawk, "couldn't let your super-emo-funk get all you know, overwhelming or something."
She grinned, "Aww, you big softie."
"Whatever. Let's go," he said, pushing off from the lockers and heading toward the doors. Not hearing her behind him, he paused and glanced back at her, "Come on, don't we have like learning or some shit like that to do?"
She rolled her eyes and hurried toward him, "Yes. And the first thing we're gonna do is teach you how to speak without profanity."
"Says the one who curses more than me," he scoffed.
"I do not!"
"Sure. Ten bucks says you swear before I do," he said, holding the front door open for her. What? His mom taught him how to be a gentleman and stuff.
"Add a slice of pie and you're on."
Puck grinned widely. "Deal."
A/N: Reader 3 = Review. Please? :D