Disclaimer: I don't own Dead Poets Society. However, I'm willing to trade most everything I have for Charlie.

A/N: I stumbled across the fanfiction shuffle challenge on several other authors pages and decided to just modify that idea. I'll keep the songs random and just write a one-shot or drabble that goes along with the lyrics. They'll be all different pairings and genres to- hopefully- keep it fresh. If you have any suggestions for songs, I'd be happy to take a listen to them. Just let me know! Thanks for reading and if you can spare the time, don't hesitate to review.

Song: (Don't Fear) The Reaper- Blue Oyster Cult

Pairing: Slight Neil/Todd

Rated: T for mentions of suicide

The metal is surprisingly warm in his hand. It's light and smooth- not at all what he had been expecting. His fingers fit around the curve of the grip perfectly and settle over the trigger like they were just meant to be there.

It's an odd thing to being holding, really, but he's trying to pretend it's not a gun. It's not a weapon. It's not dangerous and it's not going to take his life. He tries to think of it as comforting- an option rather than his last resort. He closes his eyes and tries to pretend it doesn't feel like a gun. He tries to remember the warmth he once felt when he took Neil's hand in his own and he tries to pretend that's what he's doing.

Memories of Neil's smiling face dance beneath his closed lids and he focuses on them rather than his fears. They're silly, his fears, because he knows there's nothing to be afraid of. He knows that he'll suffer very little pain and that death is natural and that nothing should fear it and nothing really does. Neil didn't fear it.

And he's doing this for Neil.

The curtains in front of his open window flutter in the breeze and beneath the soft whistle of the wind, Todd can almost hear his voice.

"Don't be afraid," it whispers.

And he no longer is.

He just feels warm and at home and positive that he's made the right choice, however wrong it may be. He doesn't care if his choice results in absolution or perdition or heaven or hell because he'll be always be happy because he'll always have Neil. No outside force- great or small- will ever be able to tear them apart and that's the way it should be.

One and the same.

Together in eternity.

And that's a comforting last thought.

The noise is deafening, the pain sudden and the surrounding light that envelops him is blinding but it all vanishes in an instant like it never even happened at all.

Neil is there waiting and Todd's once bleak and dull world has become one of brilliance and his once broken heart has finally mended and fused back together.

Todd runs to him and the moment their outstretched hands meet and weave together, he's whole again. There's no longer something missing and there's nothing else he needs or wants. Neil has always been enough and now, now he has him.

Forever.