A Letter to Nerys
by Rob Morris

Chapter One - Evil Flourishes When...

Anytime she thought that Lt. Nog still had a baby face, Kira had only to read one of his expeditionary reports. Renegade Jem'Hadar, refusing to believe their gods would ever relent, may have had holdouts, here and there. But when Nog set his artificial foot down, they didn't have them very long.

"Very thorough, Nog."

The young Ferengi knew her well enough to not ask whether she thought he'd been too thorough. In Nog's view, these sorts of missions had to have some punitive value.

"How is Jake keeping the station, Colonel?"

"Oh, well enough. He broke up your Uncle's betting ring--again. Quark seems to avoid fines pretty well. So Jake confiscated some of those chairs and tables we loaned him, back when Brunt took his FCL away."

Nog smiled. If his Uncle would never learn, Jake Sisko surely had. It was he who suggested that, if Starfleet insisted on assigning DS9-based personnel to hunt down rogue Jem'Hadar, that Kira should appoint a new civilian constable. Starfleet tried to fight it at first, but Kira pointed out that there was precedent for both Starfleet Security and Bajoran Constabulary co-existing. This she saw as payback for the foisting of Eddington upon the people he later betrayed and taunted.

"I'll....speak to my Uncle, for all the good it will do. If he had any brains, he'd accept my father's offer to replace Brunt as FCD."

"Oh? Brunt's been replaced? I thought he had your father in a stalemate, power-wise."

Nog nodded.

"That he did. But he exceeded what we call the rule of 25. Every FCD has to keep at least 25 percent of his department clear of big-time corruption. He was at only 5 percent. It was resign or be desiccated."

Kira felt a twinge of distaste at a certain possibility.

"Do you suppose he'll show up here?"

Nog shrugged.

"If Uncle continues this nonsense of a 'Ferengi Economic Colony' in opposition to father's reforms, Brunt just might have no choice. Jake may have a problem, then. Brunt's a bit subtler than my Uncle."

Still, Kira doubted that Jake would be overwhelmed. Using a mixture of a reporter's investigative instinct, the reverence most Bajorans had for his father, reliance upon Odo's veteran staff, and last but not least his own checkered war experiences, the younger Sisko kept the peace and kept his best friend and Starfleet counterpart appraised of all matters, high and low.

"He'll do all right. Are you two getting along better, lately?"

It seemed to Kira in many respects that the friendship the two shared had never truly recovered from The Valiant disaster and Jake's accurate but scathing article that followed.

"Nowadays, he tells me that he can't figure out how I manage to pull it all off. I tell him pretty much the same thing. How he manages with so few phaser incidents blows me away. I think maybe he's tweaking my lobes by handling a kind of quasi-military operation so well."

As Nog finished, Kira took note of something in Nog's report.

"Oh...Oh, Blessed Prophets--No."

Nog looked at the floor.

"I'm sorry. I was tending to Gadzikowski's wounds; otherwise I would have flagged that as I wrote it."

She didn't look up.

"No. A man's life takes precedence. Nog, could you leave me alone?"

"Yes, Colonel. If you need anything..."

He trailed off, and walked out slowly, in case she wanted to formally dismiss him. Kira Nerys had other things on her mind.

Two days later, Kai Yarka delivered the grim news to the Vedek Assembly.

"Colonel Kira is to be commended in bringing this to our attention so very quickly. All should know of this loss, now twice a loss. Starfleet Personnel, rooting out a Jem'Hadar base located on a moon just outside the Dominion DMZ, found that the Jem'Hadar had acted to wipe away artificial microbes once used by a species that kept prisoners there. These microbes kept the prisoners alive under almost any circumstance. Not a prisoner, but one who dwelt among them seeking peace as she always had--was our former Kai Opaka Ledenn. When these artificial microbes were destroyed, so were the artificial lives of those who dwelt there. At long last, she rests. Given the recordings the vain Winn made of her activities in the Fire Caves, I ask that those present refer to me only as the successor of Opaka. Had she but lived among us, a few years more, things would have been so different. She dwells at last with the Prophets. We grieve for ourselves, not her."

A measure of Kai Yarka's devotion to the truth had been a rapid but not rushed effort to make this announcement. Kira was glad for the change, but she felt the loss twice as keenly as she ever had. Until then, Kai Opaka had been, as Molly O'Brien had once told her brother of a deceased grandmother, 'only sleeping.'

"My condolences, Colonel, for whatever that's worth."

She turned, and saw one she would not have expected at all.

"Garak?"

The tailor and spy made a slight curtsy.

"Yes. I'm here begging food and materials from those of your people who don't merely talk about charity. Also, I'm fulfilling my promise to the now-grown half-Cardassian children of this world. Many of them wish to help me rebuild Cardassia. We need them, as you might imagine. There's even a hunger to know about the Prophets, back home."

Kira was unsure around Garak, and probably always would be.

"About our Gods? Garak, why do I find that hard to believe?"

He smiled, a good deal calmer now than Bashir had described him, just after the war's end.

"Because you still don't know Cardassians, Colonel. You see--your Gods won. In some people's minds, that's a real plus. But all that is not why I'm here at this ceremony."

"Then why come? To see me?"

Garak shrugged.

"A semi-friendly face? That's actually worth quite a bit to me, nowadays. But No. I'm here to give you this letter from your Kai Opaka."

Kira stared at the sealed scroll.

"When--how?"

"The how involves a hefty fee and the destruction of certain records I never wanted found--though solely for reasons of embarrassment, not illegality. The when was--just before her fateful trip with you on that Runabout. Colonel, I have to go. Give all three Bashirs my best, alright?"

Of all the terms Terrans brought to Bajor, Kira had found that she despised the bogus term 'closure' most of all. She did not open the scroll until she was back in her office on Deep Space Nine.

After a week of swearing she would not let this letter eat her alive, Kira asked Jake Sisko to the office.

"Jake, can you find a discrete handwriting analyst outside of regular channels?"

Jake frowned.

"Did Quark import more of those phony Gul Dukat Diaries? Nerys, I swear, if he keeps this up, I'll ingest Changeling DNA and make his life so miserable----"

She raised her hand and cut him off.

"This doesn't involve Quark. Can you get the expert?"

He nodded.

"I can get the woman who proved that Cadet Watters faked his original CO's last orders in the Valiant situation. Of course, she expects clients to do their homework. Colonel--what's all this about?"

Kira knew she could trust Jake Sisko. But still she had trouble saying what she had to.

"This letter was supposedly given to Garak by Kai Opaka, just prior to our trip through the Wormhole all those years ago. Jake--it says that she knew that Winn Adami would be her successor, and that she would walk a path of evil. If all this is true--why didn't she warn us? It's all here--from the Neela incident to Solbor's murder. Please find your friend, Jake. Because I don't want this to be real!"

Jake contacted the analyst, post-haste.

Chapter Two - The Truth, Now...

The expert merely shook her head. Jake hadn't mentioned that she was Bajoran.

"I'm sorry, Colonel. I have studied Kai Opaka's blessed writings since I was a child. I know her script like I know my own. This damned letter is authentic. I'll keep it quiet without extra fee. She still deserves as much. Just less so, now."

The unnamed expert was supposed to have been a forger and an embezzler, and possibly worse. Yet as she left, Kira couldn't help but note how shaken she was. It was almost like seeing a spiritual mirror. When she was gone entirely, Jake spoke up.

"Kira, I spent twelve relative years in the 20th Century. As a bank clerk, I learned how to spot a bad check. I also learned that sometimes forgeries are so good, they fool the very best. Granma Mildred was a devout Christian. But she always said, that if Jesus were to return, she'd ask for ID. Let's face it--we've all been fooled before."

Just as easily as they could strongly disagree, Nog and Jake sometimes fell into an unbreakable sync.

"He's right, Colonel. We now know that Gul Dukat gained access to The Orb Of Time, and thereby inserted himself into your mother's past by displacing his own counterpart. All so he could taunt you. This diary is just another post-mortem slash at your wrists. Dukat may not have had visible ears---but he had Lobes!"

Kira just kept staring at the letter.

"Sorry--but I always sensed that there was something phony about that time-trip. That Dukat--knew me. I felt something, even then. But this? No, it's genuine. Dukat liked harsh deceptions. Garak likes harsh truths. Everything here is part of our last true Kai."

The two left Kira, and when they reached Ops, Nog asked a question.

"Jake, isn't what she just said outright blasphemy? What about Kai Yarka?"

Jake shrugged. Though he showed no signs physically of his 1962-1974 stay in old Missouri, the upward shift in his mental toughness and sharpness was evident to all. Just being around the ancestors he stayed with was enough to bring that out.

"It isn't blasphemy, Nog. Kai Yarka ran for his office proclaiming that he was a man who sought holiness, not a holy man. He wants to rebuild the office through humility, and statesmanship. He's said that while he's Opaka's successor, he is not her, nor is he those that came before her. By his thinking, those Kais are almost a canon of saints."

Nog chuckled.

"Rule Of Acquisition 193---Previous Administrations are a double-rich source. They can be looked to for a lot of strong inspiration, and they can be blamed with little loss."

Then, Nog looked back at the office.

"Jake, is this her Valiant? My faith in the wisdom and strength of people our age never recovered from that."

Jake shook his head.

"She faced far worse than that when she was less than half our age, Nog. She'll get through this."

"But...should we maybe summon the Padre?"

"No. Right now, Kira needs solitude, not well-meaning platitudes."

Nog nodded, reluctantly.

"I guess this is strictly a private matter."

Being unable to help Nerys, Jake decided to change the subject, big-time.

"Let's head for your Uncle's. We'll split some chili-cheese fries, and I'll tell you about one of the 20th Century folk I met, a man named Nicholas Knight."

"Was he one of those really ancient folks?"

Jake took the opening.

"Oh, yeah. Really long in the tooth."

---------------

The words moved inside her as even little Yoshi never had. Even the sickening sight of a drunken, solid Odo fitfully declaring he would never find his place in the cosmos had not been so painful. She remembered her resentment at finding out The Chosen Emissary was a Terran. She remembered her resentment that The Prophets had called him home. She remembered feeling like a complete fool when Gul Dukat's temporal deception was revealed, as regarded her mother. Kira at last thought of those very naive occasions when she thought Winn Adami had changed.

But if she had felt worse than this without a death in the family, she just couldn't recall at that moment. Kai Opaka had lived in crystal memory, her only sins ones of love for her son. No longer.

Kira Nerys had firmly thought that the very worst of Opaka Ledenn's revealed sins would still be milder than the least of Winn Adami's.

But Winn had never held the future in her hands. She at least would have acted somewhat on Bajor's behalf, however muddled that effort would be, mixed as it would surely have been with ego and ambition. Grim as she became, Winn would never have just sat on the information.

Kira started reading it again.

My Dearest Child Kira Nerys:

As of this writing, we have yet to meet. But I know we will. I'm glad for that. Shortly after meeting The Emissary, I asked a vain question of The Prophets. Had I not served faithfully? Why was an outsider, and not one such as myself, to be Chosen?

They answered in a hailstorm of images. I saw myself lathering up a poor lost unfortunate soul named Neela, directing her to murder dear Bareil. I saw myself in league with harsh, hateful collaborators, attempting to remove The Emissary. I saw myself extort Bareil to secure power. This confused me, but before I could try to see more clearly, I saw myself, quite coldly satisfied with a treaty that bore my name, all while you wept over Bareil's corpse. The multiple and myriad smaller-scale blasphemies I have listed at bottom, Nerys.

Only the enormous and wholly unthinkable ones do I speak of here.

I next saw myself trying to unite Temple and State. How could I? As Ton Acldor once said, Gathered Power Gathers Only Evil. I seemed to calm my petty fury as The Emissary was confirmed in the Prophecy Of The Lost City. In a clear moment, only my setting aside of ego kept Bajor from being utterly destroyed in a hideous crossfire. But pride is an addictive drug, and it is a venom. When The Emissary turned to me, needing insight, I fell to The Pagh Wraiths. I became a lover to...Dukat. I took a knife to poor, dear, faithful Solbor. I was betrayed, I fell, and I burned. Forever.

As you might imagine, I was shaken by these visions, and begged to know how I might avoid them. Then, The Prophets spoke in the form of a gentle man with spectacles and a kind face.

"Oh, My. You're Not Winn Adami. My Child--I'm So Sorry."

Why they chose not to remove my memories, Nerys, I'm not sure. It left me with a huge burden. Unless I acted, the future of faith on Bajor would lie for six years in the hands of one who would repeatedly devalue the Offices of Kai and Vedek both. But how to act?

If The Federation learned of The Dominion, genocide might well follow. If I moved against Adami early, she had shown she was willing to do anything to keep power. Would she unseat me, claiming my visions were signs of addling? Possibly. What if I were successful in stopping her, and even avoided the prison world--with all its needy souls? My health is not what it was. Bareil's death had as much to do with his chronic overwork as Adami's more sinister machinations. Yarka Apost? While brilliant in matters of Prophecy, there is a reason we left Administration to him.

Unless I did the unthinkable and caused her death, Winn Adami would be waiting when each of her challengers failed as Kai, due to the expectations of that time. When she took power, she would have even more authority than she normally would--unless I kept my silence.

Yet how could I keep such a silence? A war, with all its corruption and evil on all sides? A vain and corrupt Kai, who would ultimately make even the faithful turn away from our Vedek-based structure, as you have surely seen happen?

The answer came to me, Nerys. But I cannot describe it to you. I feel that you, who will be the Chosen Vessel Of The Prophets despite Winn's treachery, will find it for yourself. This answer is vital. That is why I burden you with the sad truth of what I kept back. Stare hard at what has been, Child. See the one true and lasting benefit of Winn's hateful activities. See what lovely fruit has been born of the bitter seeds of politicization.

On that small moon, you will seek my forgiveness for what you became during the Occupation. This I saw through many different eyes during the visions. Now, you must grant me forgiveness for what I became, to preserve a greater good born of evil. For if the overgrown trail to The Fire Caves is cleared with the best of intentions, then what trail do the very worst of intentions illuminate but The Path Of The Prophets?

Opaka Ledenn, A Mild, Humble Cleric Undeservedly Raised Up By The Faithful

--------------------------------------------

Kira sought her quarters, and found sleep surprisingly easy to achieve, if not maintain. The questions were too great, and ran far too deep. She read a plaque she purchased on the day of The Final Withdrawal.

"Let No Secret Of This Occupation, No Matter Whose Secret It Is, Lie Fallow In Unmarked Graves. We Leave Nothing And No One Behind, As At Last We Move Forward----Opaka Ledenn."

Kira threw it in the recycler.

"Yeah, Right."

In this, The Dark Night Of Her Soul, Nerys heard a voice.

"They never make it easy, do they, Colonel?"

Almost unwilling to turn around, Kira still did so, knowing that voice well and having missed it for over two years. She said one word, and her weary soul rejoiced to say it. The tall man had a smile as she did.

"Emissary!"

Chapter Three - Into Thy Hands, I Commend The Future

Kira merely smiled. She truly loved Odo, gone just as long as Sisko had been. But she missed her Captain. Her Friend. Her Emissary.

"Have you come back to be among us?"

He seemed at such peace. No glow, no disdainful eyes. Kira never realized until then just how much the war had aged him. But now a being outside time's grasp, Benjamin Sisko had left that far grimmer aspect behind.

"No. Merely to chat. And only with you, Colonel. Jake feels my decision to place him with the Potters for twelve years was almost whimsical. But I've been to his wedding. We'll settle things then. Nerys, how have you been?"

She pointed at the crowded desk in her quarters, and nodded.

"Overwhelmed. I never knew how you pulled it all off. I still don't know."

He shrugged, and suddenly the post-war world felt right again.

"Since the risen Dukat is not sitting at my desk, and the only Klingons here are merchants and holo-addicts, I'm going to say that you've done just fine, Colonel."

She tried to search for the most surprising thing she could find to tell him.

"Our world's membership in the UFP has been delayed again. There's a faction that's pressing for Cardassia to be brought in at the same time, so we can have a greater safeguard against invasion. I have my suspicions about it, but the proponents seem sincere."

Sisko nodded.

"I know."

Kira felt her stomach drop. Of course he knew.

"Forgiveness, Emissary."

He took on a look of annoyance.

"Colonel, it was an honest error. As to forgiveness, I am not a God."

Kira looked down.

"No, sir. Just half a God."

He smiled once again.

"That does tend to get in the way, doesn't it? That's why I asked the others to stay out of this. You look shaken enough. That and they still tend to phrase things the way a poor translation program might. But while they are good at that, this is about your faith, Nerys. Your religion. Not your belief in The Prophets. That's as strong as ever. No, this concerns your faith in The Vedek Hierarchy. From Kai to Mass Cleric, you no longer see it as always being in unceasing sync with the wisdom of The Prophets."

Kira felt safe, yet still torn apart. Was this impossible knowledge part of Sisko's heritage as a Prophet? Or was it merely an extension of the way he had always possessed of cutting right to the heart of a problem?

"How? How could Blessed Kai Opaka have sat on all this knowledge?"

Sisko shrugged.

"How, indeed?"

Sisko paused for a moment, and then began his effort at explanation with a question.

"Could Kai Opaka have stopped The Dominion War from ever occurring?"

Kira ached to say the simple answer. But she was military. Reality is as harsh as any drill instructor.

"No. But she could have made us aware of The Dominion's existence. That way, we wouldn't have gone in blind. Imagine the psychological impact if we could have saved The Odyssey from those Jem'Hadar ships."

Sisko had her on the first try, but wisely chose a longer, surer path.

"Yes, imagine. That defeat would have made The Founders think long and hard about challenging us. Of course, then Kai Opaka's misgained knowledge would have become worthless. And The Founders?"

When he fell silent, Kira filled in the rest, almost without meaning to.

"They might have become desperate. As they did, late in the war. But suppose we just used the knowledge selectively? Strategically?"

Sisko stayed true to his path.

"You mean, build up our forces around Betazed? Maybe let the Klingons take all of Cardassian territory? Or seal up the wormhole?"

If Kira sensed what he was doing, she simply allowed it to continue, and answered with what she knew to be the truth.

"Even before the big losses started rolling in, our forces were spread thin. The invasion awoke something ugly in The Klingons. Victory would only have made it worse. And beyond the religious implications of sealing the wormhole, The Dominion was clever. Weyoun's grimy, passionless little mind probably would have relished finding a new way into The Alpha Quadrant. The wormhole allowed them in. But it also hemmed them in."

Sisko now placed her back where she needed to be, more than she herself knew.

"No solution exists to this problem that doesn't itself pose infinite unknown dangers. Kai Opaka made the right choice. It was the choice I would have made, and I think you would have made, Colonel. So let's stop dealing with the war in space, and start dealing with the war in the Temple."

Now feeling surer of herself, Kira nodded firmly.

"I reject Kai Opaka's words about Bareil and Yarka, and even her own health. Emissary, she could have stopped Winn Adami. She could have kept the Temple pure by keeping as the state's helper, not its would-be ruling power. Even in times past, The Kai and The Vedeks shook more souls with sermons than anyone ever could with political endorsements. Pre-Natal Gender Selection was not outlawed by a central regulation, but by quiet appeals to trust in the Path Of The Prophets. Now, all that is done, because Opaka Ledenn chose to keep silent."

Sisko ran off a grim roll call.

"Neela. The Circle. The Election. Bareil. The Farm Replicator Coup? She nearly started a Bajoran Civil War. She actually interfered in a battle between Ultimate Good and Ultimate Evil, all for her ego. The same ego that caused her to throw off our brief rapprochement and throw in with all of our deadliest enemies. Colonel, what was the net effect of all these plans and schemes? Not only her own, but those of her followers and hangers-on?"

This time, she had to sit down.

"The Office Of The Kai no longer has the value it did. Our religious structure is now permanently mired in petty politics. Our most honest politicians must now go about swearing that they will not view The Vedek Assembly's religious proclamations as translating directly into state law."

"And has The Cult Of The Pagh Wraiths swelled, as before?"

She looked at him, seemingly startled by the question.

"No. I've checked. Rather regularly. I go through all channels, both official and unofficial. I guess it's like Garak said. Our gods won. Nobody likes the losers much anymore."

Almost at his denouement, Sisko followed through even further.

"There's a reason why they lose. But if they're out of the picture, then is atheism on the rise?"

She shook her head.

"No. The Bulletin Boards have shown nothing of that, either."

Sisko smiled.

"Kira, the anti-believers are gone, and the non-believers aren't making themselves heard. The Celestial Sovereigns--My Mother, The Other Prophets--are who they've always been. The 'Earthly' Sovereigns, being The Kai And The Vedeks, have been corrupted by a singular ego and misguided thinking. What does that create? What does that leave? What greater good did Kai Opaka see emerging from Winn Adami's tenure? Those are still your questions to answer, Nerys. But I hope I've helped you to find those answers."

She shrugged.

"I'm grateful, of course. But won't you give me anything outright?"

He smiled, lightly.

"Two things. One---your Vedek friend was dead before you were abducted to Empok Nor. The man you saw was a cousin of his, brainwashed by Dukat."

"What's Two?"

"Two, Colonel? Two is this. Some people followed Dukat only because a Vedek seemed to be with him. The Vedek was compromised--and so were the faithful. Keep Up The Good Work, Colonel. I have to go. Goodbye, Nerys."

She summoned up all her courage.

"Goodbye, Benjamin."

The next day, she made for the station's shrine, reasoning that being in sight of The Prophets might make their answers more comprehensible. Because of post-war security concerns, it was her first trip there in over a year.

But when Kira looked in, all she saw were seated people. No one stood in front. The faithful had no direction.

"Where is the Mass Cleric?"

A man Kira knew of but couldn't name stood up.

"Colonel, our Cleric is casting a vote to place her sponsor Vedek on The Assembly's Ways And Means Committee. She is rarely here, of late."

His wife nodded.

"And when we see her-she talks only of politics. But we faithful assemble here and we sit here--as The Prophets bid."

Another budding Winn Adami, thought Kira. The Assembly would be generations ridding themselves of such nonsense. What were the faithful to do, if the many sovereigns of this world were corrupt?

Her feelings sank further. Winn was an extreme, but any Kai and any Vedek and any cleric could have some of her naked ambition and ruthless drive. In times past, they were merely fortunate, not purer. The corruption could have taken hold at any time.

"Kai Opaka knew that. And--when she saw Winn, she saw---The Path."

"Colonel?"

Kira raised a hand, and motioned for quiet.

"If The Prophets remain as they are and if we are The Faithful as always, but those who are our intermediaries are corrupted or compromised..."

The Truth hit her, and she was stunned at how simple it was.

"...then we must bypass the worldly corruption entirely."

Colonel Kira Nerys, Commanding Officer Of Deep Space Nine, then began the next step in her life's journey. She took the cleric's podium.

"This MassDay, I will speak of my religious experiences. Next MassDay, one of you will speak. The Prophets have shown we Lay People the way. We Love The Kai And The Vedeks. But until they retake these podiums in all senses of the word--we must be our own Kai, and all our own clerics. The Central Figure in our Faith--Winn Adami--became corrupt, as you all know. But in this disaster lays the chance for every one of us to chart the course of our worldly religion. Because while one Kai and several Vedeks may fall away from The Path, billions of clerics may not. The time for merely sitting back is done. And if I had known seven years ago what I know now---I would have kept it all to myself. Because we should let this greater good be the legacy of a poor woman who wanted the best for us--but was eaten alive by her pride. Let us offer a silent prayer for the soul of our late Kai, Winn Adami."

They were listening to her. But would they listen to each other? Stepping forward into a new era, she began to speak of her religious life.

"I wanted to believe it was a mistake. Surely, The Blessed Prophets would never choose a disbelieving Terran to be The Emissary."

Eventually, she also spoke of the wisdom and patience of Opaka Ledenn. In the far back of the shrine, two old friends watched her with a smile.

"See, Nog? I told you she'd be alright. You just have to have faith."

"You told me? Hu-mon, Please! I told you. You were the doubter."

"Aye, Chief Engineer Nog."

"Don't push me---civilian."

The friendly argument stopped as cheers erupted for Kira. This would not be the last time she would speak, nor the largest audience she would speak before.

Back at her office, Kira Nerys received a very direct indication of just what she had begun that day.

"You did very well--My Child."

Seated in Kira's chair--was Kira herself. The other Kira had a smug smile, twenty years more age---and a very colorful, very familiar cap and robe.

"Th-Thank You---Em--Eminence."

"Don't worry, kid. It doesn't go to our head that much. You do alright."

Kai Kira Nerys vanished, prompting Colonel Kira Nerys to offer up one last fervent prayer.

"Captain--make them stop doing that to me."

When she was through praying, she again read a certain letter.

This time, it was all clear to her.

THE END