Title: Heat
Rating: PG-13 / T
Word Count: 3,031
Warnings: discussion of severe homophobia, boy kissing
Characters: Ukitake, Shunsui, Renji, Byakuya, mentions of Yamamoto, Yumichika, Ikkaku, Ichigo, and Ishida
Pairings: Ukitake/Shunsui, Byakuya/Renji, brief mention of Yumichika/Ikkaku, Ichigo/Ishida
Notes: This was written for a ficathon on livejournal. Love to cmc for the beta!

Ukitake stepped outside. The night was cold and crisp, and he tilted his head back, pulling his haori tighter around himself. The dark sky was clear, and he enjoyed the brightness of the stars. He'd always loved nights like this, and it comforted him, a soothing contrast to the uneasy meeting he had just left.

"This is one time you actually regret being one of Yama-jii's trusted favorites, eh?" A voice murmured behind him, followed by the soft sound of a door closing gently.

Ukitake shrugged, still gazing out into the night. "I've never like clandestine meetings, no. But at least they've decreased since the end of the war."

He could see Shunsui nod out of the corner of his eye. "True. Hopefully peace will continue. After all, these meetings are getting in the way of my sleep!" He grinned as he reached Ukitake, and with the ease of long acquaintance, they began strolling away from first division simultaneously.

Ukitake chuckled in response. "You probably hate these meetings more than I do. It's long past midnight."

Shunsui gave an exaggerated scowl. "It should be illegal for any kind of work to be discussed this late! If you must be up now, you should be out partying!"

"I'm sure Yamamoto took your opinion into account when he arranged the time of this meeting." Ukitake smirked, and Shunsui looked appalled.

"You're all in cahoots against me!" He sulked, and Ukitake laughed at him.

As usual, Shunsui didn't bother keeping up the blatant act for very long, and he relaxed, bumping Ukitake with his shoulder. "Well, Yama-jii's doom and gloom has successfully woken me up. Want to stop by my quarters, maybe catch up a bit?"

Ukitake's face lit up. "Of course!" It was nice, getting re-used to the fact that they actually had some spare time just to be. The war had been busy, relentless, and exhausting, and it had been a noticeable absence in his life, an ache in his heart, that he barely ever got a chance to talk to his best friend of two millennia. Shunsui returned Ukitake's expression, some of that same pleasure reflected in his eyes, and he slung an arm over Ukitake's shoulders.

Ukitake had to stop himself from leaning too much into it, but the comforting weight was enough to make the cold night feel much warmer.

"Maybe I'll even be able to tempt you with some sake, mm?" Shunsui winked. Ukitake rolled his eyes, and was about to reply with his persistent negative, when raised voices interrupted the banter. Shunsui and Ukitake exchanged glances. It was rare to see Shinigami out and about this late at night, and if they were, they would be found in the bars in town, not near the divisions themselves. Shunsui looked in the direction that the voices had come from, and Ukitake recognized the interested expression in his eyes with dismay. He could tell that his friend's honed instincts were telling him it was a lovers' quarrel, and the nosy man was… curious.

"Shun..." He started, but it was too late. Shunsui grabbed him by the arm and tugged him toward the building, quickly masking his reiatsu. Ukitake took in the mischievous glint in Shunsui's eyes; he sighed, rolled his eyes, and masked his own reiatsu as well. He'd learned long ago that with Shunsui you had to pick your battles. Shunsui towed him around several buildings, keeping close to the walls in an exaggerated fashion, following the sound of the voices. Given the fact that they were now in sixth division, and that the closer they got, the more familiar the voices began to sound... Ukitake began to wonder. Shunsui came to a stop, and slowly peeked around the corner, and Ukitake peered over his shoulder just in time to see Abarai Renji slam Byakuya Kuchiki up against the wall of sixth division headquarters and kiss him. Shunsui and Ukitake both froze. Ukitake could hear his breath, loud and harsh in his ears; he felt weak and lightheaded, and he couldn't move.

"Well, apparently Bya-kun has a thing for people from Rukongai, eh?" Shunsui said finally, and Ukitake couldn't read his voice. He cursed the fact that he was behind Shunsui; he needed to see his face, his expression, he needed to know what Shunsui thought. In all their conversations over the years, it had never come up. Not like this.

"I guess so." Ukitake murmured, because he had to say something, though he feared what Shunsui could read in his own voice. The barriers he'd erected so carefully had just been shattered.

Shunsui was still watching them, watching as Byakuya returned the kiss, and Ukitake felt ill. He grabbed Shunsui's arm and pulled him back. "Leave them be," he hissed, his voice sharper then he'd intended. "Byakuya doesn't need you interfering." Though that was true, he knew that's not the reason Shunsui watching makes him uncomfortable. Anything related to this kind of subject has always made him antsy and stressed, and with Shunsui here... it's too complicated. Ukitake feels exposed.

"Fine, fine. You spoil all my fun." Shunsui said good-naturedly, but his eyes scanned Ukitake's face curiously.

Releasing his arm, Ukitake attempted to smile, though something told him that he didn't really succeed. He turned around and walked faster, purposely ahead of Shunsui, as he pulled his haori close once more. The cold air was back to biting at his skin, and he still felt sick, a painful twisting in his chest that he suspected was mostly born from fear. Doubting that he could deal with going with Shunsui back to eighth division right now, he wondered if he could make an excuse to get out of it. He shivered. What are you doing, you fool? Of all the times to become undone... You're going to ruin everything! A grimace flashed over his face, and he shivered again.

"You're shivering." A large hand settled on his shoulder, and Ukitake started, his surprise a testament to how distracted he was. Then Shunsui's words registered.

"I'm fine," he murmured, but that of course did nothing to dispel the concern in those dark eyes. The hand pressed firmly against his shoulder, gently guiding him forward, unmistakably toward Shunsui's division.

"Come, I'll make you some tea." Tea, not sake. He stared at the ground, a lump in his throat. Shunsui, why do you always do things like this? This is why I'm lost.

"I can make my own tea," he protested weakly, but shivered almost as soon as the words had left his mouth. He rubbed the skin of one arm, feeling the raised goose bumps against his fingers.

Shunsui didn't comment on it, though, just said, "I know. But I want to." Ukitake's hand tightened on his arm. Shunsui…

And then they were at Shunsui's quarters, and Shunsui was guiding him inside and pressing him gently down into sitting at a low table.

"You're a mother hen," Ukitake grumbled, not truly annoyed, as Shunsui swept into the adjoining kitchen.

"So you tell me quite frequently, old friend," a cheerful voice replied. Ukitake smiled absently, looking down. He brought his hands up to table level, staring at them thoughtfully. They were still faintly trembling, but not as bad as they were when he'd hurried away from the scene. He curled his hands into fists, hoping to steady them.

Well, it looked like Shunsui had not noticed anything amiss, or at least the depth of his distress. Either that or he wasn't going to mention it. He hoped that was the case, that that would be the end of it. I do, I really do, he told himself, not wanting to acknowledge the part of him that he'd tried so badly to bury, the part that wanted Shunsui to say something, that wanted the topic to come to light at long last. That was also the part of him that had nursed a small kernel of foolish, foolish hope throughout the years. The hope that perhaps, he was not alone...

His friend bustled in, carrying two cups, and Ukitake hurriedly dropped his hands back into his lap. Shunsui set one down in front of Ukitake. "Drink up! You're not allowed to get ill so soon after the end of the war," he instructed.

Ukitake rolled his eyes, but smiled. "Yes, sir."

"Good!" Shunsui sat down opposite him at the table. Ukitake reached up and curled a hand around the cup, the heat against his skin welcome and reassuring after the cold and uncertainty. It helped ease the faint trembling as well. He brought the cup to his lip and took a sip, enjoying the taste. Shunsui had known how to make tea just the way Ukitake liked it by their second year together at the Academy. A brief smile flickered across his face. Ukitake closed his eyes and drank more of the tea. He'd missed this. After a moment, he opened his eyes back open to find Shunsui regarding him. He looked thoughtful, but there was something else in his expression that Ukitake couldn't decipher. It reminded him of the expression he'd worn right after they'd seen Byakuya and Abarai, and nervous dread had coiled in his stomach even before Shunsui had opened his mouth.

"Does it bother you?" He asked, his face serious.

Ukitake blinked. "What?"

"Bya-kun and Renji. People like them." He waved a hand in the air.

Ukitake shook his head. "Not at all. Love is love," he replied, hoping his voice didn't sound too strangled. He was searching desperately for words. He wasn't ready for this conversation.

"I agree," Shunsui said, and something loosened in Ukitake's chest. That was something. That was more than something; more than he would've dared to hope for at one point. Shunsui smiled slightly at him, and took a sip of his sake. "But you seemed… upset. Afterwards."

Ukitake had known Shunsui had to have seen it, but he'd hoped that Shunsui wouldn't call him on it, for he had no answer for him, at least none that he would willingly give. So he settled for part of the truth. "I'm not used to it," he started, staring at the fine grain of the wooden table. "It still seems… dangerous. When we were young..."

"Yes," Shunsui agreed, his voice soft, and there was a darkness in it that told Ukitake that Shunsui understood what he was trying to say.

"A part of me can't help but fear for them, even though I know that it has become much more acceptable these days, even in the higher ranks. The pair over in eleventh... and there have been rumors of Ichigo and that Quincy. But still..." Disgrace would have been an amazingly lenient response to being discovered like that when they were younger; the repercussions were usually much graver. They'd both seen people killed for it. Ukitake risked a glance up. Shunsui's face was dark, and there was something like anger in his expression. Then Shunsui's eyes met his, and Ukitake's heart jumped in his chest. It was that intense look that Shunsui got so rarely, but it never failed to make Ukitake breathless and weak in the knees, and he was physically incapable of looking away. Perhaps Shunsui could see some of this in his eyes, and that was what gave him the courage to say what he said next.

"Yes. You're right. Yes, I know. We were taught it was unnatural, disgusting, disgraceful..." The surprising bitterness in his voice struck something within Ukitake's soul. "Perhaps that is why it took me so long to realize..." He trailed off, and for the first time during the conversation, Ukitake saw that he was not the only one nervous and uncertain. Shunsui broke eye contact and looked down. Ukitake followed his gaze and saw that Shunsui was clutching the sake cup tightly, his knuckles painfully white. Ukitake could hear his own heart beating fast, and he swallowed thickly. What was Shunsui going to say? What had he realized? Ukitake could think of several things, and none were good. Did he figure it out?

"Do you remember Hoshiko-chan?" Shunsui asked suddenly.

Ukitake raised an eyebrow. "Yes..." He answered slowly.

Shunsui grimaced; it was an expression that did not sit well on his face. "She used to say that there wasn't a woman I wouldn't flirt with, wasn't a woman I wouldn't sleep with." He was still staring down at the sake cup as if it was his salvation, an escape from the words leaving his mouth. "It took me a while to realize that she was wrong. I mean... I do flirt with all the women I meet, you know that, but… I mean… the ones that I get even halfway serious about... they all have something in common. Do you… do you know what that is, Jyuushirou?" He lifted his head, very slowly, meeting Ukitake's gaze once again. There was a fear in his eyes that frightened Ukitake even more, but there was determination there as well.

Ukitake shook his head mutely. He had no clue where this was leading, what this had to do with anything. It had been a long time since he'd heard Shunsui stumble over his words like that. He felt off balance, adrift, and unable to prepare any kind of response.

"They all reminded me of you."

What?

Ukitake froze, staring at Shunsui in complete disbelief. He... he didn't understand.

His friend cringed back, jerking shaking hands away from his sake. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said..."

"Shunsui." Something in Ukitake's voice stilled him. "Shunsui, what are you saying?" He asked, and though he knew that he was the one speaking, his voice seemed to come from a distance, and it was far too calm for what he was feeling inside. Shunsui couldn't be saying what it sounded like he was saying. That was impossible.

Shunsui slumped forward, misery and defeat in the line of his shoulders. "I'm saying that I want you, Jyuushirou. I'm saying that I want you, I need you, and I love you. And that I think I always have," he said, his voice low and soft and earnest. And afraid.

Ukitake found himself bracing himself against the table as his entire world turned upside-down. His breath rasped in his chest as Shunsui's words kept playing in his head, words he'd never expected to hear.

"Jyuushirou?" Shunsui said, and Ukitake realized that Shunsui had half risen from the table, and his face was deadly pale and panicked.

"Shunsui. Shunsui." He breathed, hope rising in his chest for the first time, sweet and painful and pure. "The reason I never got involved with anyone was you."

Shunsui stared at him, uncomprehending, a reflection of what Ukitake was sure his own face had looked not moments before. A strangled laugh bubbled up, desperate and hopeful. "I love you, Shunsui, and I know I always have."

"Jyuushirou..." Shunsui's voice was hoarse. He slowly began to move around they table, never breaking their gaze. Ukitake was sure he was dreaming. This couldn't be really happening.

Shunsui sank to his knees beside Ukitake. "Jyuushirou..."

Ukitake found himself reaching out towards his friend, his love, and Shunsui caught the pale hand with his own, hesitantly twining their fingers together. Ukitake could feel that Shunsui was shaking too, and he tightened his grip, not caring in the least that both palms were sweaty from nerves.

And then Shunsui was pulling him forward, pressing against him, wrapping one arm tightly around his back. Ukitake buried his head against Shunsui's shoulder, breathing in his scent, and a strange warmth bloomed in his chest that he'd never felt before. They clutched each other, reveling in a closeness they'd never been permitted, at least not like this. Shunsui's hand skated up and down Ukitake's back. After a couple more moments, Shunsui pulled back slightly and released Ukitake's hand. Ukitake knew he made some sort of undignified protesting noise, but the loss of touch was a physical ache. But almost instantly, before Ukitake had time to fear that his friend was having second thoughts, those large hands were cupping Ukitake's face, warm and solid, and Shunsui was looking him earnestly in the eyes.

"Jyuushirou, may I kiss you?"

Ukitake made a strangled, needy sound, and Shunsui was pulling him forward, pressing his lips firmly, hungrily, against Ukitake's. His grip on the front of Shunsui's haori tightened, and he leaned eagerly into the kiss, his blood pounding in his ears. Shunsui opened his mouth, and Ukitake followed suit, sliding his tongue into past Shunsui's lips.

Ukitake heard Shunsui groan softly, and he kissed him harder, freeing a hand and reaching up to tangle it in Shunsui's thick, wavy hair. Eventually, they both broke away, needing air. But they stayed close, Shunsui gently nuzzling Ukitake's neck. Ukitake's eyes were half closed with pleasure, feeling the scrape of Shunsui's stubble against his skin, and the wet warmth of Shunsui's mouth, but he was able to gather enough sanity to murmur. "You are serious about this, aren't you, Shunsui?" He knew, intellectually, that Shunsui wouldn't have started something like this with him unless he'd been truly serious, but Ukitake had spent millennia watching Shunsui go from woman to woman to woman, and he needed… he needed to hear it again. He needed to believe it.

Shunsui drew back and slid his hand back up to cup Ukitake's face. He gently stroked Ukitake's cheeks with his thumbs.

"Look at me, Jyuushirou." When Shunsui used that voice on him, there was no part of him could disobey, and so he looked, and the strength of feeling in those dark eye shook him to his core. "I swear to you that I am serious about this, more serious that I have been about anything before. You mean everything to me. I would be lost without you," He stated simply, and the fact that he did not use any of the melodramatic phrases Ukitake had heard him use a thousand times with women, spoke to his sincerity.

"Shunsui." He whispered, incapable of anything else, and Shunsui smiled at him, eyes bright, and kissed him again.