A king always stands alone, a merlin fanfic

Title: A king always stands alone
Fandom: Merlin
Author: babydracky
Characters: Arthur/Merlin
Rating: PG-13
Length: 642
Summary: The king is dead, long live the king! Arthur couldn't bear the loss of his father. Merlin tries to comfort him by being only Merlin.
Warnings/Spoilers: None.
Story/Author's notes: English isn't my mother tongue. No beta. Please, forgive the mistakes.

The king is dead, long live the king!

Arthur couldn't listen to his people ovation anymore. He wished he could make them be quiet. The burden of being king was already too heavy without feeling the pain, the lost of his father.

He wished he could be all alone to mourn not the king but his father.

"Arthur" whispered his manservant.

He didn't answer. He didn't want to talk. Not to anyone.

But Merlin, the idiot, didn't seem to understand the meaning of his silence. He was still here, in his chambers, making his bed, warming the room.

"Arthur, you could do with some sleep, tomorrow will be a long day" Merlin added, gently, far too gently.

Arthur didn't need his gentleness.

A prince doesn't need his manservant's kind and comforting words. A king doesn't need anyone's pity.

Arthur wouldn't be able to sleep tonight, he knew it. For the first time in his life he understood that he was now an orphan, that he was all alone. No mother, no sister, no father anymore. Alone.

And though he had to stand and be strong for his people, how would he be able to?

"Arthur" Merlin called him again, his voice full of worry and gentleness.

"Leave me alone" he grumbled, his face was tense, closed.

"Yes. I'll. When you get to bed" Merlin answered, as stubborn as ever.

"Do you know who you are taking to, Merlin? Haven't you guessed it yet?" he nearly growled.

Merlin frowned and looked into his eyes.

Then, he sighed.

"Arthur" he whispered "You'll always be Arthur whatever happens"

Arthur didn't have any force left in him anymore. How could he fight when the loss was so painful, when the whole in his heart seems to be bleeding? How could he fight ever again?

Arthur let Merlin take him to the big and cold bed, put him in it like a little and scared child.

"Leave me alone" he whispered again through tears he wished he could control. Damn them! He was King of Camelot now, he wasn't allowed to cry.

"It is okay to cry, Arthur. He is your father" whispered Merlin lovingly.

Damn him for being so understanding, so friendly, so faithful, and so warm when Arthur was so lost and so cold. Damn him for being here, for looking at him, for caring when everybody else couldn't stand to watch him in the eyes. Damn him for being here when Arthur was fetching, was craving for some comfort.

"Leave me alone" he whispered again when Merlin's gentle hands began to stroke softly his hair, holding on him tight. Or was Arthur the one keeping Merlin so close?

"I'm here" Merlin whispered in his ear and Arthur swallowed another cry.

"Don't" Arthur tried to say but fond that no word anymore could pass his trembling lips, lips he locked to Merlin's where he found at last something that would keep in straight.

"Ok" Merlin hushed him "anything you want, Arthur, anything"

Arthur couldn't lie to himself anymore; he couldn't refuse Merlin's gentleness, care and love tonight because he needed them. He needed all of Merlin's being as he had always.

He wished their first night together wouldn't be tonight, not when his pain is so grand that he thought he could not wake up in the morning, He wishes he could be gentle, passionate and strong. He wished he wouldn't hold on Merlin as if his life depended on it. He wished it would be give and take and not that selfish need to have Merlin all to himself.

He wished... He just wished Merlin would stay with him forever because he knew that it was what Merlin wanted too. They would always be just Arthur and Merlin.