Illness

Chapter One

Weaknesses

"Sumire, move it!"

Lucia's words cut through the chaotic turmoil and reached my ears successfully. I quickened my pace over the cold, dew wet grass, panting as the effort tore at my chest and my lungs begged for more air. I could hear gunfire behind me as Lucia tried to kill the virus that gave chase. She growled in annoyance as her empty bullets fell to the ground and I could hear her getting closer.

"Faster, Sumire!" she cried from almost directly beside me. "Run faster!"

In my two months of being a part of the Vanguard, I had never had such a pathetic performance in battle. The past week had been terrible for me, and it seemed to be getting worse. My movements were sluggish, my heart always pounding, my chest tight. I couldn't think without my head aching and I couldn't eat without feeling ill. I felt so fragile that every footstep I took rattled my body entirely and I half expected to fall into pieces on the floor.

Another bullet roared through the air and the virus squealed from behind me. Lucia's furious face appeared beside me, her single blue eye burning me with it's gaze. "Sumire, keep running! Stop slowing down!"

I was trying. I truly was, but try telling that to the woman with a body of steel. She could keep this up all night, and with me as her dead weight, that was a very likely possibility. My legs felt like cement that hardened with every second. I was getting even slower despite her anger, and she eventually gave up on the idea of yelling at me and clasped my arm in her iron grip. She dragged me across the grass, practically carrying me in the one hand, then threw me into the shadows of a nearby tree. It was rough, but it had saved my life and I lay face down in the dirt and wet, grateful that I was still breathing despite the pain in caused me.

Using what strength that still remained in me, I lifted my head an inch to glance over the gleaming grass. Lucia was kneeling on her knees, flicking her gun shut as the case covered the new bullets. Without a single hesitation, she lifted her arms and fired five straight shots at the looming virus that was little more than a shadow amongst the trees.

Each bullet hit the giant of darkness, each hit rewarding Lucia with a scream of inhuman agony. A crash came as the last bullet bit into it's target and the virus dissolved into the earth.

Lucia released a deep breath and slipped her gun into the holster. She didn't waste any time. Without even glancing at me as I gasped for air against the ground, she turned and peered through the trees. A beam of light tore through the darkness and hit her in a bright burst. She raised a hand in greeting and finally gave me her attention.

"Nahashi's here. Let's get going." Her words still held their bite.

I nodded weakly and pulled my arms out from beneath myself where they had laid crumpled and lifeless. I pushed myself up from the mud, every muscle drained of strength. I knew before I slipped against the tree limply that I wouldn't be able to rise on my own, but I had hoped that I wouldn't look as pathetic as I felt.

Trying her best to hide a scowl, Lucia turned back to the car in the distance and raised three fingers. 'Give me three minutes' she was saying before she turned to me and staked over through the shadows. I felt like I was being cornered by a virus and I struggled to my feet. Unfortunately I only managed to shuffle against the tree and press my back into the bark painfully.

Lucia's feet stopped in front of me and she peered down with her blazing stare. "What was that?"

The 'that' she was referring to was the entire hour that had passed that I had spent struggling to stay on my feet let alone strike the enemy. I hung my head. "I still don't feel well."

Her sigh of impatience made me bow my head further. "Still? Sumire, what can possibly make you as weak as a kitten for over a weak when you are a berserker? You're supposed to be able to handle illnesses now that you have this power!"

I winced under her words, but dared to speak my thoughts. "You're saying that I'm lying?" I hated it when someone made such accusations.

She clenched her jaw. "I don't understand what it is that can affect you so badly. You almost got the both of us killed."

"What do you think it is then?" I asked softly, almost pleading for her to grace me with an answer as no one else seemed to know, my brief flash of anger replaced with a desperate ask.

She turned her back to me, her shoulders stiff. She was swift. "I think you're weak." With that blow she walked away towards the car without stopping again.

Her words had hurt me more than she would realise for some time and I fought back against a wave of despair. I was sick. I knew I was. My body felt as though it were shutting down, and I couldn't sleep at night. I was plagued by nightmares of a virus in the body of a man. He would laugh at me without words, or stare with his piercing eyes. It filled me with such raw terror that I would wake without a single second of sleep more. It was after I awoke that I felt the true weight of the sickness fall upon me and I would vomit or collapse out of the bed, or even develop a fever.

At first, Lucia had helped me. She treated me the first two nights, then as it continued she became tired of me waking her and impatient with my actions the next day. She no longer believed that I was sick, but that I was simply having bad dreams and using it to escape the fights that scared me so much.

Like a child, I thought sadly. She thinks I'm a child, pretending to be sick when I am truly too pathetic to fight. She was wrong though, I was suffering, my body inside and out always in pain. Even now my stomach felt as though it was being burned from the inside and I clutched it tightly.

Lucia and I had a weak friendship despite my attempts to strengthen it, and this didn't help. We needed time, but now I felt it would require much more. She needed to believe me, and I needed to gain her trust back.

Footsteps approached, twigs broke, and I sank back against the tree. If it was an enemy, let them consume me. I was defeated.

"Sumire? Do you need help?"

Nahashi stood before me, his twinkling eyes always brightening his leather face. His hand was offered to me and I took it gratefully, allowing him to pull me up to my feet. He caught me about the waist as my knees buckled and led me through all of the trees. I leant against him, hoping that I wouldn't vomit on his always delicate suit.

In the car I saw Lucia, staring out of the opposite window even as I slipped in beside her with Nahashi's hands holding me the entire way. I rested against the soft chair and closed my eyes, but quickly opened them again as I felt the dream waiting just beyond the border of consciousness. He was always waiting, this virus.

Nahashi started the car, peering over his shoulder at me. "You should get some rest when we get back, Sumire. You look terrible." He believed me when I told him I was sick, but no matter what he gave me as treatment, I remained ill.

Lucia sighed heavily as she stared out of her window. "You could have gotten killed tonight with your weakness, Sumire. Try harder, or I won't be there to protect you."

I bit down on my tongue to stop myself from crying out. I had truly messed things up tonight.

Nahashi clucked his tongue. "Lucia, she can't help it."

"Yes she can, she just chooses not to."

"Lucia..."

My eyes pricked with tears and my gaze fell from her angry face to her arm that was wrapped in bandages. A night ago we had been in another battle and I had been just as poor in my performance due to the illness that had claimed me. I had been close to being impaled by a virus when Lucia had taken the blow for me, the clawed hand cutting deeply into her upper arm as she shot the virus dead.

"Sumire, are you even trying?" she had asked, grunting in pain as her arm throbbed. "Do you want to get killed?"

I was in shock, staring at the beads of blood that rolled down her arm. "Lucia... I'm so sorry you got hurt because of me!"

She stood, wiping at the blood hastily. "Yeah, so am I." She turned and walked away from me like tonight in the trees, and like tonight I had felt my heart split open.

I only wish she could be proud of me, I thought as I turned away from the furious girl. That's all I have ever wanted.

Nahashi caught my distress in the mirror and turned back to me. "Maybe you just need to get more sleep." He didn't know of the nightmares. I didn't want to tell him in case he experimented on me. That was the last thing I needed.

"She needs more practice. It's not this 'incurable sickness' she thinks she has." Lucia was fuming, using her calm voice that spelt doom for anyone who heard it.

I sank back into the softness of the car seat. "Lucia, I'm sorry..."
"See how things are tomorrow, Lucia," Nahashi decided, his eyes locked onto hers in the mirror. "Maybe things will be better tomorrow."

Lucia huffed and turned away, muttering, 'not likely.'

She was right. It wouldn't get any better.

It would only get worse.

Author's Note - Sorry if this is sounding like Sumire's bashing. It's not meant to. It'll get much better, don't worry, cause I love her :) Also, the chapters will get longer, so please, please review and let me know what you thought!

ShattteredHeart98