Stuck

A/N: A little funny thing to cheer me up. I still have trouble giving them distinctive voices, I hope it's not confusing. Also, I refer to WoL as Warrior, or Light, no real reason why.

The Warrior of Light faced Garland, in a battle that might have happened a thousand times. One of them knew it, the other didn't.

Garland dodged a stab and tried to land a hit, but the Warrior lifted his shield. Garland used that moment to sneak under the warrior's defense and lift his weapon to land a hit that would give him victory.

But at the last moment, the Warrior took a step forward, and Garland only hit him in the head with the handle of his weapon. The knight dodged when he heard the word "Light!", narrowly avoiding the ray of light that came from the Warrior's shield.

"Don't you have the best luck?" laughed Garland, but the Warrior did not respond, merely taking a couple of wobbly steps to the side. "What is it? Did that hurt too much? You're getting weaker."

"It…It's not that!" said the Warrior, and Garland lowered his weapon. For a moment, the Warrior's voice had sounded more high pitched, a little desperate.

"What is wrong now?"

The Warrior dropped his shield and lifted a hand to his face. Garland approached him, but the younger man lifted his sword towards his general direction.

"D-don't come close! Hold on a second…I'll…I'll be alright in a moment," he said, wiping his face.

"I don't see the problem," said Garland, and sighed. Well, this was at least an interesting divergence from their usual battles. "If you want to, we can leave this battle for later."

"I don't need your pityyyy!" he said, almost whining at the last 'y' and bending over. Garland's jaw dropped. He had never seen the Warrior do something as odd and childlike as that. "Just give me a damned moment, alright?!" he dropped his sword to the ground and put two hands to his head.

It took Garland a few seconds to put everything together.

"Is your helmet…stuck?"

The Warrior dropped his arms, and lifted his head towards him. The helmet had slipped over his face, and now it along with his hair had covered his eyes.

"Well, not…stuck. I just…"

Garland bursted out laughing.

"Bastaaaard!! Don't laugh at meeeee!! This is your fault, damn you!" shouted the Warrior, shaking his fist at Garland's direction.

"Your precious helmet has finally betrayed you" he said between laughs, and walked towards the Warrior, who took a few steps away.

"Don't come near. I'm almost done with this thing."

"I wish I could preserve this moment. It would make eternity all the more bearable."

"I hate you."

Garland got a hold of the golden horns in the helmet and pulled. Nothing. The thing would not move.

"How did this get stuck?" he asked, pulling again.

"You tell me, it's your fault."

"You should have chosen a bigger size one."

"Oh, sorry, I'll tell the Light to please solidify itself into a bigger armor. I know it will be very understanding."

Garland smiled under his own helmet, and realized he hadn't done that in a long, long time.

"Who knew you had such a sharp wit in you? I should get you stuck in things more often."

"Stop joking, it's starting to hurt my head," said Warrior, and lifted his feet against Garland's torso. "We'll pull at the same time, alright?"

"As you wish. You're the one stuck there."

The Warrior kicked him. "Silence is a virtue," he said.

"Then good thing I'm evil."

"I hate you so much. Pull."

Garland pulled at the Warrior's horns while the younger man pulled the other way, using Garland as leverage.

Nothing. The helmet was truly stuck to his head.

"It won't move," said Garland, after an uncomfortable moment.

"I noticed that."

"Uhmm…what do we do now?"

"You defeat me, I fade to light, and hopefully get a bigger armor."

"You should try losing weight."

Garland was suddenly very thankful for the fact that his armor had a codpiece.

"It's not because of my weight! My armor fits perfectly, it's just that you pushed my helmet in an awkward angle!"

"I've never heard you shout so much at the same time."

"Are you even listening to me? Defeat me already!"

"There must be another way."

"…You just want to laugh at me…"

"No. Well, not much."

"Defeat me already so I don't have to take this humiliation anymore!"

Garland laughed, and the Warrior whined.

"That would be very unfair, considering your condition. I couldn't take such a dishonorable victory."

The Warrior whined again.

"I know, I'll take you to your friends so they can help you."

"Nooo!" Light walked away from Garland, keeping his arms in front of him to balance himself. Under his helmet, Garland bit his tongue to not laugh out loud. "I can't see anything with this, and they already mock my helmet, what will happen if they see me in this shameful position? There must be another way. Do you have any oil?"

"…Oil?"

Garland was suddenly very aware that he had the Warrior absolutely at his mercy.

"You use some for your armor and weapons, right? I have none because my armor is made of light, so I…had never needed it…"

"Oh, that; yes."

"Give me some. I'll try to put some in my hair, that should get this thing off."

Light extended his hand towards a wall to the left of Garland. That made the knight laugh aloud.

"Stop laughing at me!" Light flailed towards Garland, in a sad attempt at punching him, but Garland merely sidestepped him, still laughing.

"Now, now, calm down. Sit down here," Garland put the Warrior down on the floor. For some reason he looked even smaller than usual like that.

"Give me the oil."

Garland took a small bottle from a compartment in his armor and gave it to the Warrior.

"Can't you just turn your armor into light or something?"

"I could, but it's complicated. It's easier to die and let itself reform, so this better work."

The Warrior took off his armored black glove and opened the bottle, then poured some oil into his hand.

"It smells odd. Is this really meant for weapons?" the Warrior sniffed it. "It's like…incense and…"

"Cinnamon."

Silence.

"Why does your armor oil smells like that?"

"I don't know. Kuja and that clown Kefka went shopping last time. They said it would work the same."

"Uhmm…"

"Do you want to get it off or not?"

The Warrior took a deep breath and applied the oil to his hair. The thing didn't move. He put some more.

"Do you want me to pull it?"

"…Please…"

Garland grabbed a hold of the horns, and still trying not to laugh, pulled upwards. With a 'whop'-ing sound, the helmet came off. Light fell backwards on the floor, with his hair sticking up in all directions.

"I wish I could preserve these past ten minutes for all eternity. It will never get old. Never."

Light got up and snatched his helmet from Garland's claws.

"This didn't happen. If anyone finds out, I will crush you."

A/N: Isn't the idea of Garland pulling at WoL's horns hilarious? Yes, yes it is.

I'm thinking of making more small ficlets with the other armored warriors getting stuck. What do you think?