For years I've been waiting for a romantic Sailor Saturn fic, but it's hard to find one when in the whole Sailor Moon franchise men are hard to find. So, here I am, actually writing one. You may not like the pairing, but I'm pretty sure this is the first.

I was tempted, on so many levels, to pair Hotaru with Helios or Prince Diamond. But no. Those would take a lot more time and a lot more back story. So here we are! I'm pretty sure this will be multi-chaptered, but still very short.

I hope you'll like it!

- - -

When one was a sailor senshi, one did not forget. One could try, one could even die, but – no – one did not forget where one's loyalty lied. It was easier for the others, Hotaru thought, when they had another to share the burden with. But with Saturn, with Pluto, they were not so lucky.

They were the sailor star seeds out of time and out of space, out of death and out of life – they were the other.

She brought the teacup close to her lips and breathed in the comforting jasmine leaves, clouds that wafted warm in spite of the cold winds breezing through the streets of Crystal Tokyo. Winter, although cool, was not as bitter as some other seasons.

She took a tentative sip from the cup and then turned her attention to the window. From the small café in downtown Crystal Tokyo, she watched the people with quiet delight. She remembered how decades ago she was just like them, running through the snow drifts in search of a warm mug of cocoa or a fresh, hot pastry, only to be spoiled silly by her mamas when she returned home all cheery-cheeked and red-nosed. There had been many wonderful childhood memories, memories tarnished every now and then by the blood, sweat and tears of those who had dared to trespass the Milky Way.

Of course, as sailor senshi, they knew where their loyalties lied.

"Miss? Do you want more hot water for your tea?"

Hotaru blinked and faced the waitress with a smile. "No, thank you. But I'd love for some of that apple cinnamon pastry you have, please!"

The waitress gave her a glowing smile before promising to return with her request. It did not surprise Hotaru in the least that the woman didn't recognize her. In fact, Hotaru was delighted time and time again to know that she could still pass off as someone normal, someone without burdens, someone who could love and feel like the rest of the population.

Dressed in a black wool dress coupled with knee-high boots and a grey-plaid trench coat, Hotaru appeared chic and sophisticated. The crystal butterfly headband in her hair was striking, yet subtle enough to show the others that she was a young woman who came from a well-mannered family. She blended into the background perfectly, as was her favourite pastime. She, like the others, sometimes liked to get to know the population by being the population.

Splendour, adoration and glamour did not, after all this time, compare with the simple happiness of rain, of the simple warmth of sun, of the simple joy of innocent laughter. Again, it was easier for the others. They had another to share that simpleness, to have the simpleness, with.

Saturn and Pluto were not so lucky.

"Here you are!" the waitress announced cheerfully as she placed the pastry in front of Hotaru.

"Thank you!" Hotaru returned, secretly wanting to dance around the café in joy.

Simpleness – how she coveted that happiness in her heart.

She faced the window again only to be startled at the boy outside looking in, specifically staring at her pastry in eagerness. At first she didn't know how to react, but when she blinked at the absurdity of the situation, she thought she saw iridescent wings on his back. And just as quick, her ridiculous vision disappeared – and so had he!

Hotaru frowned, disoriented-

"Hello."

She honestly almost fell out of her chair when she saw the boy – man now that he had straightened – standing by her table. At least he had the decency to look abashed.

"I'm sorry for staring earlier," he apologized sheepishly, "but everything looks so wonderful here that I couldn't help but stare! Ha, ha…"

His laughter feebly died off when Hotaru didn't respond.

He coughed awkwardly and tried again. "A-Actually, the whole place is full, so… I was wondering if you wouldn't mind if I sat with you…?"

Hotaru's gaze swept through the café once and saw that he was telling the truth. All the tables had been taken, only hers had any room left. Gathering herself, she spared him a smile and gestured to the empty seat across from hers.

"Of course," she said. "Go right ahead."

After all, what had she to fear from him? She was the damn sailor senshi of Death and Destruction (and Rebirth), Queen Hotaru Tomoe of planet Saturn's Titan Castle who had nothing to fear from a boy-like man who craved apple cinnamon pastries. Of course, even as she told herself this, it did not explain why she felt so intimidated by him.

Oh, who was she trying to hide from? Herself? She was a grown woman of seventeen – thousands of years if she included her past lives – much too old and wise to lie to herself. The man was more than a little attractive.

Hotaru hid her blush behind the teacup when the waitress came to her – their – table.

"May I help you?" the waitress asked the man.

Hotaru couldn't help herself but steal quick glances at the man as his silver-blue eyes took on an excited sheen looking over the café's menu. Of course, while she was stealing glances at his eyes, Hotaru might as well steal glances at his silver-white curls, his delicate complexion and that ready boy-like smile – not that she was looking much, of course.

Although, she did note, that his attire matched hers fairly well.

"Could I have some honey lemon tea and an apricot tart, please?" the man requested joyfully.

The waitress blushed when she was met with the full weight of his childlike smile. "O-Of course."

He unwound his baby blue scarf and took off his grey wool coat to reveal a crisp white shirt and a dashing black vest. The way the vest cinched in his narrow waist and blending perfectly with his black pants made Hotaru suddenly want to check his shoes – which was ridiculous! Who was she? Minako?!

She cleared her throat uncomfortably and took another sip of her tea; the pastry had yet to be touched.

"Oh! I'm s-sorry," the man stammered, suddenly realizing that he hadn't introduced himself. "I'm Peruru!"

Setting the cup down, Hotaru decided to welcome him. It did no use for the both of them to not get along. It would have made a very awkward tea time at the café.

Ever the diplomat (seeing as someone in the neo senshi had to be), Hotaru offered a hand and introduced, "Hotaru. Nice to meet you!"

Peruru smiled so sincerely that Hotaru had to fight off a blush when he took her hand and shook it firmly. She had to remind herself that she was no normal seventeen-year-old. She was, in many ways, beyond her years. This boy – man – Peruru – should not be able to get the better of her.

"Hello, Hotaru!" chirped Peruru. "Are you out shopping for Christmas?"

Hotaru shook her head. She had done her shopping weeks ago. If living with two very impeccable mamas and a very solid birth-papa had taught Hotaru anything, it was that she must always be ahead of the game. Many times she had played audience to Haruka-papa being scolded for reckless behaviour. Although, in Haruka-papa's defence, flying off a bridge at 120 km/hr was not that life-threatening. They had faced worse before.

Hotaru giggled at the memory. Even after all these years, even after the four of them have retreated to their respective planets, Hotaru still thought them as her parents. At least, she resolved, her birth-papa, Souichi Tomoe, still lived with her. In fact, he loved being a biology professor at Titan University.

She noticed Peruru looking at her funny and then realized that she had just giggled without warning. Gathering herself together, she supplied, "Oh no. I've finished shopping a long time ago. I just decided to walk around and take in the sites."

At this, Peruru understood for his eyes glowed with enthusiasm. "Are you here for the ice sculpture exhibit? The Crystals of Tokyo?"

Hotaru almost told him that she had been at the opening ceremony as a part of Princess Lady Serenity's entourage, but checked herself in time from blurting the news.

"No," she replied with a shake of her head. "Just… strolling."

Peruru nodded and said, "I was thinking of seeing the Crystals of Tokyo… but I think I'll have to buy some fl-flowers first."

Despite herself, despite centuries of self-control, Hotaru felt her heart still. She was glad that the waitress arrived then with Peruru's tea and pastry, otherwise Hotaru wouldn't have been able to explain her silence.

Finally, after Peruru poured his tea and took a sip, Hotaru asked tentatively, "For your girlfriend?"

Peruru started, the teacup in his hand almost crashing to the table, and he blushed. "Uh… w-well…"

Hotaru smiled kindly, although it felt sort of forced, and sympathized with him. "I can help you pick out the flowers if it'll help."

Why she offered, she'd never know. Why she was being so kind, tangling her own fate with a stranger, was beyond her. But a part of her knew: As a queen, it was her duty to aid her people, even if this man was an Earthling and not a Saturnian. It was still, nevertheless, her duty. Besides, as an afternote, she may not have another, but that did not mean others could not.

"W-Would you?" Peruru stumbled anxiously, almost falling over himself for the help.

Hotaru nodded, feeling her spirits lift. "I'd love to. In fact, I think there's a flower shop farther up the street."

Peruru nodded eagerly. "And then… perhaps you'd go to the Crystals of Tokyo exhibit with me?"

Her stomach did a somersault.

"I-I mean," he hurriedly explained. "Th-That's where I'd be m-meeting her a-and…"

And he couldn't do it alone, Hotaru surmised.

In response, she nodded. "Of course! I can visit the exhibit myself too!"

To say that he was relieved was an understatement. Hotaru hadn't even realized how tightly wound he'd been until he breathed a sigh and relaxed. He must really like this girl.

Sombre, Hotaru finished off her pastry as Peruru dug into his tart. In ten minutes flat, they were on the wintery streets of Crystal Tokyo in search of a flower shop. With his scarf blowing in his face, Peruru struggled with the material until Hotaru decided to be merciful and helped him out with a giggle. It was too funny watching him flail like that, and he, too, found it funny for he laughed with her. And he wasn't even embarrassed, but rather grateful and glad for the company.

"This way," Hotaru said, leading them across the street and into the flower shop.

They both paused at the entrance to let the warmth of the store bring the colour back to their faces, and they seemed to understand that they both needed a moment to memorize the smell of the beautiful floral in the shop. There were roses, lilies, orchids, dahlias, baby breaths! There were so many that Hotaru determined to visit again later.

She needed more flowers in Titan Castle, and no doubt her mamas would appreciate some mums and chrysanthemums.

"May I help you?" the floral attendant asked.

Peruru appeared rather stumped, eyes flashing from the lavenders to the lilacs. He had trouble registering everything all at once. Fortunately Hotaru knew a thing or two about flowers. Makoto was a fervent tutor.

"The roses, please," Hotaru suggested.

The attendant nodded and led them to the store's selection of roses. "Any kind in particular?"

Hotaru looked to Peruru for, perhaps, a colour choice or symbolic choice, but the poor boy was completely out of his element.

"I think we'll just browse for a moment," Hotaru relieved the attendant, who nodded and left them be. Turning to Peruru, Hotaru asked, "Any preference?"

The man blinked out his stupor and stuttered, "Wh-What am I going to d-do? There's so many!"

Hotaru laughed, a hand at her mouth, and honestly she had not had so much fun at another's expense since… Well, she couldn't remember.

"Well," she began, composing herself. "The red rose is the standard, and a dozen is a good number."

She was not going to complicate things further for him by giving him the meanings for each colour and the symbolic weight of the number of roses. She was not so cruel as others… Cere Cere could be quite enthusiastic and demanding of her boyfriends - suitors.

Peruru touched a petal of the nearest red rose and smiled gently to himself. "I think… I think I'll go with your suggestion." He met her in the eye then. "It's better to keep it simple."

Simple, yes. Hotaru could identify with simple. But with her, anything was but simple.

"Shall we purchase them?" she asked.

Peruru nodded and they called for the attendant, who carefully wrapped them up in pink foils and white ribbons. An exchange of money and Hotaru and Peruru was out on the streets again. This time, the wind had died down and the sun was warmer, a comforting change for once.

"I think the Crystals of Tokyo exhibit is this way?" Peruru guessed.

"A few blocks, yes," Hotaru confirmed, her lips curving upwards when the mirror-like buildings of Crystal Tokyo shone like stars in the sun. The way the ethereal light seemed to hit Peruru made him seem otherworldly, something so beautiful and light that a simple touch, a simple breath, could dissipate him in a shower of stardust.

Simple.

Brushing her hair from her face, Hotaru strolled down the streets alongside Peruru, finding quiet content at the children chasing after each other into the nearest candy shop and at the awkward teen couple holding each other's hands in the corner. That simple happiness… Hotaru had resigned to never have, but that never meant she could never watch.

"Wow!" Peruru gasped, his eyes shining as bright as the Neo Crystal Palace.

Hotaru paused beside him to lay eyes on the ice sculpture display in the city's square. Hundreds of frozen statues of varying sizes took up so much space that it honestly felt like a whole other world. There were beautiful dancers, knights on horses, vast bouquets of flowers, ice-fountains that flowed water and – the very centre-piece of the whole collection – the royal family carved from ice.

There they were, the family that was Hotaru's duty. One could try, one could even die, but – no – one did not forget where one's loyalty lied. The broad shoulders and the kind smile of King Endymion. The fragile hands and the exuberant glimmer of Princess Lady Serenity. And finally, the graceful neck and the ever-benevolent aura of Neo Queen Serenity. That was where Hotaru's life, duty and fate lied. And, was it too wrong of her to think that, sometimes Hotaru believed it to be cruel of the cosmos to render, to stretch, to thin her so hard.

To have her fate never end from one generation to the other. First, to the coveted Sailor Moon, and now, the inspiring Sailor Chibi Moon? At least the others, they could serve the elder forever. At least the asteroids, they could serve the younger forever. Wasn't it too much to have Saturn, the planet at the dividing line, be the one to serve both? To make heart-wrenching decisions between the two? To always be on call?

Nothing was ever simple for her.

But, she supposed, there was Pluto. At least Saturn was allowed to sleep, however brief, but for Pluto, she must never sleep. She could never sleep. Pluto, perhaps, out of all eight of them, twelve with the asteroids, had the cruellest fate of them all.

"Th-There she is!" Peruru exclaimed nervously.

Hotaru turned to see who was lucky enough to be admired so firmly by a man, and almost laughed out loud when she saw that it was her highness, her princess, Small Lady – Princess Lady Serenity. Even from afar, Hotaru could tell that the princess, Chibiusa, was breath-takingly beautiful. Even from afar, the princess was like a beacon of light. Even from afar, Hotaru could make out the lovely white coat, the baby pink scarf, the white boots, the white muffler – the candy gossamer of her hair – pink, vivid, ethereal.

Her best friend, of course. Hotaru had never been the jealous type. Chibiusa had saved her from herself. Chibiusa was her everything and Hotaru would gladly lay her life down for hers. But, Hotaru thought, it was not fair… sometimes. Sometimes, Hotaru wished she could have just as much as Chibiusa. Sometimes, Hotaru wished for a love Chibiusa always had.

Finding her voice, Hotaru smiled at the restless Peruru. "Go. I'm sure she'll be happy to see you."

Blushing, Peruru nodded shyly and stepped towards the princess. Looking back once, Peruru found some bravery when Hotaru uncharacteristically gave him a thumbs-up. And with that, Hotaru watched him go and she turned away when she saw Chibiusa recognize him and give him a hug.

And so that was Hotaru's fate. Her everything was to the pearl of the Milky Way, the Moon of the sky whose warmth enveloped even the most discreet corners of Saturn, Pluto, the asteroids at the very edge. Such warmth, such beauty, Hotaru knew she could never deprive the Moon from anything if she could help it.

It was easier for the others. They had another to share the burden with. But with Saturn, with Pluto, they were not so lucky. They were the sailor star seeds out of time and out of space, out of death and out of life – they were the other.

She wandered into the thickest display of the exhibit, letting the frozen planes hide her away from the world. She hadn't even known that she had been hoping for something. A few hours, very little, with a man and Hotaru had let herself want too much, too fast. Smiling to herself, almost bittersweet, Hotaru leaned against a sculpture – of herself?

She laughed. How strange to see herself, ice-like, with her sailor fuku and glaive. Even the artist had captured her as the dark, relentless, ghostly senshi everyone thought her as.

Hotaru wiped the tears from her eyes and suddenly froze, alongside her ice-image, when she saw Setsuna-mama strolling along the exhibit with her papa. Was it strange to see Pluto's hand in Souichi-papa's? All right, Hotaru had to admit, it was strange, but for a very short time. Was she such an ungrateful daughter to divide them?

No. Never. Hotaru was glad to see her family coming full circle… She only wished she could have that.

Thus, bizarrely, only Saturn was left.

She was the sailor star seed out of death and out of life – she was the other. Her sole purpose was dedicated to the Silver Crystal, dedicated to two Silver Crystals that had stretched her so thin that there was none of her left to give another.

Was it that much of a surprise that she felt so alone? No. Of course not. This was, after all, her fate.

- - -

the point