The Dethklok members sat wearily around the conference room table as Charles went over their empire's quarterly profit spectrum, including record sales, upcoming concerts and merchandise sales.

As usual, Charles was unable to get the band's full attention. Murderface was absentmindedly carving away at the table, Skwisgaar was spaced out, fingering chords on his guitar, Pickles lay head down on the table, hung-over from the previous night's debauchery, Toki sat shoving candy in his mouth at a rate that would possibly put him into a diabetic coma, and Nathan was texting away on his Deth phone.

How much, if anything, was getting through to them, Charles didn't know; he continued through the company's news, anyway. When Charles mentioned that the bands attempt to get into the perfume industry had fallen through because their product, "Brutal Attraction," had failed safety inspections, Nathan looked up at him.

"What, did it, like, burn people?" asked Nathan.

That got the other band members interest.

"It burned people? What, like fucken' acid? That's fucken' shweet!" put in Murderface.

"Well, no," said Charles "It didn't burn anyone."

"Did it, like, cause skin problems like that Planet Piss cologne crap Murderface came up with?" asked Pickles, grinning at the bassist.

"Fuck you Picklesh!" yelled Murderface. "That wash a quality product."

"Uh, no," Charles continued. "Apparently, Brutal Attraction causes a euphoric sense of being and a increased sexual drive when smelled."

"Wells, thats doesn't sounds so bad," piped Toki.

"That part isn't," replied Charles. "Unfortunately, anyone who comes in physical contact with the substance becomes sexually overloaded, due a dramatic increase in hormone production, resulting in fatal brain hemorrhaging if they don't orgasm within two hours of application."

"Doode, seriously?" asked Pickles.

"Yes seriously—According to the lab reports anyway." answered Charles.

"Dode."

"I don't gets its. Whys theys die if theys can't find ones of those hairy orange monkeys? And what do dey do with the monkeys once theys find them anyway?" asked a confused Toki.

"Not monkeys—That's orangutans. He saids orgasms, you dildos," Skwisgaar corrected.

Toki looked at him blankly.

"Orgasms. You know, likes from the sex."

Toki still looked blank.

"You are such a dildos," groaned Skwisgaar.

"I is not dildos—You is dildos!" snapped Toki.

"No, yous is dildos!" yelled Skwisgaar. Pickles chose that time to interrupt their yelling match.

"Orgasm means..." he paused and made a hip thrusting motion. "...Ya know..."

Apparently Toki didn't know, because he continued to stare blankly.

"Ya know, cumming from sex, Toki." Pickles explained to the confused and irritated Norwegian.

Toki turned to Skwisgaar. "Ejakulasjonen?

"Ja," answered the Swede.

"Oh." said Toki, settling down. "Sos whoever wears the perfume, theys die if they don't have sex?"

"Close enough," answered Charles.

"That's so brutal," grunted Nathan. "Is there any of that stuff left?"

"A little," answered Charles. "But it's scheduled for destruction."

"Too bad. That stuff sounds like it would be great at a concert—throw it on the crowd and we'd have an orgy pit instead of a mosh pit." muttered Nathan. Charles rolled his eyes at the comment.

"More likely we'd have half a million sex crazed fans rushing the stage and crushing you all to death in an attempt to mate." The manager replied.

"Brutal."

"Anyway," Charles stiffened. "That's all that was scheduled for the meeting. Now, if you gentlemen will excuse me, I have other work to do."

Nathan waited until Charles was out of ear shot.

"Guys, we, like, totally have to get that stuff" said Nathan,

"Yeahsh! It shounds brutal!" exclaimed Murderface.

"Buts Natens, how can we gets into the lab?" asked Toki.

"Um, well, I found out recently that since, uh, we like, own the company, we can go anywhere we want in Mordhaus, even like the labs and um, stuff."

"Really?" asked Pickles.

"Um, don't like, quote me but, um, pretty sure, yeah."

"Wells lets goes and gets it then! Sounds likes it could be fun to use on a GMILF..." Skwisgaar added.

So the Dethklok members trudged down to about the mid-bowels of Mordhaus, where the Dethklok labs where located, and walked in.

"Can I help you, my lords?" asked a Klokateer in a lab coat.

"Yesh. We came down here to look at that Brutal Attracshin shtuff." Murderface informed him.

"Certainly my lord, let me go get it for you." answered the Klokateer before rushing to grab it for them. He returned several minutes later, holding a glass beaker with amber liquid corked inside. Nathan reached out and grabbed the beaker.

"So, what should we do first with this stuff?" he asked walking out into the Mordhaus hallway.

"Ooos! We should tries it on the yard woofs then we could gets puppies!" answered Toki bouncing towards the beaker in Nathan's hand.

"No, Toki, we should use it on shome hot shchicks," said Murderface, trying to block Toki and grab the beaker himself.

"Heys lets me see it!" demanded Skwisgaar getting into the fray.

"Guys, stop swarming me! You're going break it!" growled Nathan.

The front man's prediction came true five seconds later as Skwisgaar pushed Toki, who fell back into Murderface, who then fell into Nathan, who's hand struck the hallway wall, shattering the beaker and drenching the five band members in the amber liquid.

They stood up and looked at each other for a second, before an alarm started screeching and heavy metal walls crashed down on either side of them, corralling them in a 10 x18 section of hallway.

"What da feck!" cried Pickles.

The high pitched voice of the Dethklok mascot Face Bones interrupted the alarms.

"Sorry everyone! A dangerous chemical substance has been released in Mordhaus, lock down is in effect till the Klokateer hazmat unit can be summoned to safely decontaminate the area. Due to high chemical spill occurrence in Mordhaus estimated wait time is four hours."

"Oh shit." groaned Nathan.

Pickles ran to one of the steel walls and searched it for any kind of a hinge or latch that could possibly be used to escape the section of hall they were sealed in, but the walls were sheer metal.

"Guys, I don't think dat we're gonna be able to get outta here until someone lets us out." The redhead said.

"But we haves to get out of here! We got splashed by that Brutal Attraction stuff—if we don't get out ands have sex in two hours we die and de Kl