Chap 1
MAX'S POV
Some things are hard...
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2 years later…
It's raining today.
I forgot to set the alarm on my phone.
I seem to be forgetting everything these days. These past two years actually...
Sigh.
Everything seemed so much easier wither her around.
Nothing is the same.
Ever since my mom 'left' things got harder..at least it seemed that way to me.
There was a super loud noise, it was thunder.
I though it came crashing through my window.
I practically jump off my bed.
My heart races.
I hate thunder. And lighting. Anything LOUD…..
I just can't tolerate it.
You know what else is loud?
My father…
"Ugh" I murmured to myself groggily
Okayyyyyy
I finally got up….
Out of my bed…..
Like I said, today is raining. Hard.
I just loose all motivation when it gets like this.
I get depressed.
...why would I love something that depresses me?
I get up and open my closet, skimming through the available outfits.
I see something favorable. It could look good for my last day of school.
I grab a skin tight black hoodie and a pair of grey messed up skinny jeans. Some random tanktop I found hanging on my closet door.
I set the close down on my bed and head for the bathroom, taking a very quick shower.
I quickly take a toaster stroodel and pop it in the toaster. Three minutes later it rings and I grab it, now heading out the door. I didn't hear my dad. I guess he's still sleeping.
Whatever.
Last night he came home at four in the morning. I had to open the door for him. When I got up I couldn't go back to sleep. He'd been drinking, doing heaven knows what.
Why was everything so different?
Ugh! -I just don't understand!
He used to be a kind father….I think.
I'm not really sure. I don't have much memories of him in my childhood.
He'd always either be inside his home office or out.
My mom always wondered what he'd do all the time…..
Anyways, enough of that.
I lock the door with my spare keys and head down an alley as a shortcut to go to school.
A place to I could run to when I wanted an escape.
A place to hide to when I was scared.
A place that held my memories. My best memories.
Ever since my mom left I haven't ever invited my friends over again. Like, ever. Seriously.
I didn't want to confuse or scare them. My dad would go rouge sometimes, he would throw stuff everywhere.
Finally I made it to school. I open the door and see my friends sitting near their lockers in a circle. I smile.
"Hey" I say to them.
They smile, greeting me back.
"Oh Max! Yay, you're here…you're always so late. Less than 5 minutes for the bell to ring and boring class starts! Ugh" Nudge complains.
That's because they all have rides to school.
That's the only reason why I never arrived to school like 30 minutes before the bell.
I have no one to drive me. I always have to walk here.
My dad has a car
We never get along so it'd be a bit uncomfortable for the both of us, I'm sure.
Oh. I forgot to reply to Nudge. She probably thinks my soul momentarily left me or something. She doesn't know I'm talking to you guys, telling you my depressing life story. Sob.
"Haha…I know"
I finally respond to Nudge.
But no one could tell the pain I felt from the inside. They all smile back
"Any plaaaans?" Nudge asks us.
"I don't" says my friend Bethany
"Me neither" says Ella
"Awesome! Lets have a small get together at my house then! We could pull off an all nighter, it'll be fun!"
"Yay!" said Ella
" 'Kay…bring food you guys" said Nudge grinning
I smile.
"Okay, that's great because I got plenty of junk food around in my home" I say
The only reason why I have so much unhealthy food was because that's all I could ever really get on my hands these days.
My dad never bothers to go to the grocery store to buy healthy food for a change. I guess he's too lazy. It's understandable, though. I've learned to survive on nothing but potato chips and cookies. Nudge always lectures me, telling me how it's bad to eat that greasy and fatty food in excess but whatever.
The grocery supermarket is far away from my neighborhood. I live in a pretty small place I guess.
The only type of vegetables I could eat were the dried up ones that come in those little packets with the microwavable soups.
I sigh. The girls notice.
"Max? Everything okay?" Ella ask
"Oh" I reply, thinking of what to say.
"Umm I'm okay just...uhh kinda sad this is our last day" I manage to say. Lying, though. That's obviously not what I'm sad about.
"Awww…Max! It's okay we will all still be friends though! I'm gonna like call you every freaki'n day" Nudge says.
Ella and Bethany grin.
"Yeah...we'll always be best friends" Nudge says
I grinn back…I couldn't help it…they're so sweet
Those three were the ones that kept my life from falling apart…
Just them…
No one else…..
Okay so here's a bit of info on my friends: Nudge is like my best friend, I love her so much. She's always in a happy mood and she's 16. Ella is another bestie she's 15 and she loves sports, like no kidding…..she's also so motivating, she does not let anyone sit on their but and be depressed. And lastly, Bethany, omg [did I really use omg? Ugh. I'm turning into Nudge] anyways, one word…awesome…she's smart and a really really good friend, I met her in middle school 6th grade and Ella and Nudge I already knew since I was little like 5 years old.
Anyways that pretty much sums it up, my best friends. Oh yeah Ella has a little sister named Jessy, she's so sweet.
I talk to guys too, though. I don't have a particularly close male friend, though. I think all guys are jerks. At least the guys in our high school are.
Our high school is so huge, sometimes I don't even even get to see all my friends. It depends, our classes vary every single day.
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So class ended and we were all on 5th period. I search for the girls, there's Ella sitting on a bench eating a sandwich and drinking some soda.
"Hey" I say to her.
"Oh, yay..I thought I was gonna be all alone" she says.
I chuckle.
"I have gym next" I add to our conversation
"Really? Me too!" Ella
So we spot Bethany and Nudge and they come over here, talking about their summer plans.
"Sooo…guess what?" Ella asks with excitement.
"Huh?" I reply.
"I saw Luke in my gym class today, he's incredibly cute" she says to all of us sitting here
"Did you two talk, ya know?" I asked
"Nope! But he looked at me! Like OMGGGG!" squealed Ella.
"Wow. You've officially turned into Nudge 2.0" Bethany laughs as she says so to Ella.
I roll my eyes.
"Ella, just because he looked your way doesn't mean he uhhh….he uhhh….." She was looking at me with her big eyes like an anxious puppy.
"Oh never mind" I say finishing to drink the rest of my soda.
Bethany chuckles.
"I think what Max's trying to say is that maybe he looked another way" she says.
Ella gasps.
"Whaaa! You really think that? Ugh, maybe you guys are ri-oh look…shhhh!"
She whispers the last part
"Here comes Luke" Ella says all nervously, her supposed crush. But no one was really sure.
Nudge grins super huge at Ella's direction.
"Uh why do we all have to shut up?" I ask whispering
"Ohh…no reason, I just reacted fast…heh sorry" Nudge says, still grinning at Ella. She rolls her eyes.
"Stop that" and playfully smacks her arm.
Luke was walking our way.
"Oh my gosh guys he's walking over here!" Ella whisper shouts.
But before he could come this way, some girl stops him. She grabs him the the back of his polo and reels him into her. Ugh.
"Ugh" I said rolling my eyes
"She's so freakin gross" Bethany said
It was Lissa.
You know who she is. We all just call her the school slut…that or red. Just red. She doesn't deserve a capital R. He-he.
Ella blinks.
"Aww crap!" She cries.
"ahah, too loud Els" I say to her
Ella covers her mouth with her hand
"I really don't like her guys" Nudge says
"Yeah…she stole my boyfriend last year" Bethany says in return.
I nod, remembering.
So there they were leaning against a wall making out, Luke and Lissa.
"I can't watch…I'm leaving" Ella says, getting up from her sitting position.
"What? C'mon Els don't leave just cause of that!"
"Haha, I'm not leaving school, I'm just changing spots, I can smell her cherry bubblegum breath from a here…eww I hate cherries" Ella replies.
"Yeah, me too" We all get up and move somewhere else.
"I just hope next year is a bit different" I say
"Ohh…you mean like more boys?" asked Nudge
The others leaned in to hear my response
Oh, great. I hate it when they get like this. Time for an explanation. I'm so lazy.
I gulp.
Noo…I mean more fun times. Not that we haven't had any fun times, but change is good you know?" I say.
"Mhmmm" Nudge agrees. Yay.
"Same here" Ella adds.
"So Max, that Sam guy, don't you like him?" Bethany asks out of curiosity.
I almost spit out my soda onto Bethany's face
I laugh.
"No! He's not my type. He's kind of a jerk -oh, i don't know! He's nice but sometimes he can come off as a jerk" I said
"Yeah" All agree.
"So Max, you want a new boyfriend?" Nudge asks with wide eyes.
"Umm, I don't know, it doesn't really matter to me…..seriously"
"Oh lies! I know that's not true" Nudge says.
"There's so many great and cute guys in this school, you just have to find one" Nudge says.
"Yeah Max. You went to prom this year and didn't have a date and the rest of us did!" Ella shouted
"Well that's partially only because my stupid boyfriend decided to break up with me a week before the prom"
They all laugh.
"Max…you're the one that broke up with him" Ella says.
I blink.
"Oh yeah…well I didn't really like him"
All three roll their eyes at me.
"So Max…what's your type?" Nudge asks patting my leg, smiling.
"Ummm…nice guys?"
They burst out laughing
"What?" I say.
"What's so funny about liking nice guys?" I ask in annoyance.
"Oh nothing…just that every girl likes a bad boy, don't you? You really want a cute little nerdy boy with big glasses as your date?" Nudge asks, trying to hold in her laughter.
Reality hits me.
"Ewww. What I meant by nice was that I like a guy who has a good personality basically someone with a good heart" I said
It got quiet, "It's because of your dad isn't it?" Ella asks.
I sigh, "I-I don't really wanna talk about my father you guys"
The reason why I like guys with grand hearts was because I want to feel safe and protected. I want some arms to wrap around me, always protecting me.
My dad isn't that kind, he isn't a protective father at all. Sometimes I feel like he doesn't even want me to be around him, he's changed so much.
I remember having this memory about us when I was only 4.
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"Daddy pick me up!" I exclaim.
"Sure sweetie, he says back.
"Look daddy, I can see a rainbow from here. You think I can touch it?" I shout in amazement
He chuckles.
"Of course sweetie. Nothing is in your way, nothing, I promise" He smiles warmly.
He wraps his arms around me tightly and embraces me like I were like a newborn, even though I was 4 I was still very little.
"Daddy higher, pick me up higher! I wanna reach it!" I shout.
He picks me up higher
I laugh so much until my cheeks started hurting
"When I finally reach it, will you come with me dada?" I ask
"Of course…I'll always be with you, here and in your heart" He said
I blink, "Dadda…what do you mean in my heart…isn't my heart inside of me?" I ask
"Yes…it is…I mean that I'll always follow you and keep you safe and love you Maxie" He says to me
"Uhhhhh…hehe you're funny daddy" I say
He laughs and so do I
"So when are we gonna reach the rainbow daddy? Eheh dada you're too short to reach it! Hehe" My dad laughs at my comment.
"I promise we'll reach the rainbow together…no matter what…..later in the years, I promise Max…me and your mother…both by your side" He says smiling
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I shake my head losing my train of thought back to that memory
I let out a deep sigh. I almost cry.
"Liar" I murmur to myself
"What Max?" Ella asks
"Ohh..huh what?" I ask
"Nevermind...you okay Max?" Ella insists
"Oh, I'm fine!" I say smiling. I was faking the smile though.
2 hours later
"Thank for the ride Mrs. Thompson!" I said
She nodded. That was Ella's mom. She's very nice to me. She knows I don't have a motherly figure around anymore.
Well, there is this one woman, Mrs. Martinez, the school counselor. Last year we had a long talk and she helped me. I think she actually cares.
I open the front door and check to see if my dad's home. When I arrive home I hear screaming and something braking. It sounded like glass. I gulp and run to the source, my parents bedroom. I open the door only to find a woman and my dad. I gasp.
"You're just like all the other men John! I hate you!" The woman shouts angrily
"No one talks to me like that! Nobody!" He barks back, approaching her like a rouge beast
He corners her. She screams and slaps him, running right out the door in her robe. I look out the window to see her start her car and drive away rapidly.
"Dad!" I shout
He turns around with a furious face on.
"Get out! GET OUT!" He screams his lungs off
I look at him in shock. I actually freeze in place at how high he screamed at me. I'm scared.
I could not believe it.
I wince, almost tripping.
I run out of the house.
But then I run back in because I forgot the spare house keys
I grab them and my bag, quickly heading out the door once more.
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I stop at a bus stop.
There's a lot of people.
I really didn't like it. I sniffled.
I felt uncomfortable with everyone watching me.
I put my black hood on. I looked desperate.
I put my bag down and kneel on the floor, trying to find some cash, some spare change, a ticket, anything…anything that would grant me access to the buss.
I stand, accidentally stepping on the long thick strap of my bag, making all my stuff fall out.
Then I heard thunder. I look up. I see the familiar sound of a bus. It's about a good distance away. But I have no money for it anyways.
I put all my stuff away and sit on the floor. The benches were taken.
A group of thug-looking guys approach, they have their pants down almost to their knees. I' surprised they're not falling off. Some have messy 'fros, others are bald with tattoos everywhere. Some are smoking, others have extremely bad under eye circles. Ew.
I look away. I notice a woman wrap her arms around her child securely as a protective motherly instinct.
I wish I had someone like that.
"Want some" A man offers me a wrapped, white piece of paper. I realize what it is.
"No thanks" I say to him quietly. He presses it against my arm. I get up and move my spot.
That dude is crazy, I'm so freaked out right now.
The bus arrives, stopping at our street. As I'm about to go in, something grabs my elbow. I look behind me. Ugh. Some old lady.
The bus driver stops me from entering the bus any further.
"Ticket? Money?" He asks.
"No" I say.
"But I really need this ride, please if you would just le-" He cuts me off
"Sorry, no money, no ticket, no ride! Beat it kid"
I grab my bag, frowning and turning back around.
How embarrassing.
As I turned around, I see the faces of many.
I walk off the steps He closes the door, driving off.
I take a quick jump before the wheels splash me with the dirty, muddy rain water.
Too late though.
It splashes my pants. I also trip, landing on all fours.
I take my bag and start walking.
I know what you're thinking: Max, why don't you just call a friend and have them pick you up and go to their house?
I'll tell you why, it's because I just don't want them to worry about me. And I don't wanna talk about it
They are so happy with their lives right now, they're so happy they just finished school and I don't wanna ran on their parade…even though it already rained…actually it poured on mine.
Everyone I know are enjoying themselves. It's Friday night. Well Friday afternoon but why wasn't I?
I found a nice little alley and stopped by it. I leaned against the brick wall and covered my face with the hood. I shut my eyes.
"A peaceful dream I shall think of…with a rainbow"
I shut my eyes...
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