Dangit Kirk

Chapter 2 – Geez, Lorelai!

A/N- This is a quick fun response I imagined to Dangit Kirk! Set a few years later ;)
Not very good in the dialog department, so bear with me! D:

"I can't believe Kirk defiled your boat, how will you ever sit in it again?" Lorelai asked giggling, sitting in bed watching Luke get changed for bed.

"I was trying to not think about it..." Luke responded slightly exasperated, holding his recently removed jeans while searching the pockets for his keys and wallet.

"I'm sure Kirk has a service for that!" Lorelai said giggling, not really thinking about what she meant before she spoke.

"What?" Luke asked incredulously as he tossed his jeans into her laundry hamper.

Slightly taken aback, Lorelai tried to explain, "Well I figured he'd have a company or job skill that can cover... the... cleaning or purifying of... wood–err, your boat." Luke stared at her blankly. "Luke, no dirty intended, I swear!" Lorelai quickly responded in a voice laced with amusement.

Moving to join Lorelai in bed, Luke pulled back the covers and climbed in. "You reminded me of this one thing Kirk said once ... in my diner ... a few years ago. God I still hope he was joking..."

Lorelai turned to face Luke while crossing her legs Indian style, "Uh... said what? And, please let this have nothing to do with Kirk naked in your boat..."

"Just, uh, forget I said anything," Luke quickly replied before rolling over on his side so his back was to Lorelai.

"Wait no, Luke!" Lorelai cried, prodding him in the back. "You've brought it up, now you're stuck and I won't be able to sleep until you tell me what he said to you!"

Letting a third sigh escape, Luke reluctantly rolled over and sat up in bed. "Fine. Four years ago I think, he was the only one in the diner one afternoon ... And he offered his ... uh ... services..."

"His services?"

"Yeah, uh, he said ... Geez ... something about Taylor liking ... his ... services," Luke managed to get out, visibly uncomfortable as he twiddled his thumbs in his lap.

"Luke, ... what services, like dog walking?" Lorelai asked, still clearly very confused.

"No, did I have a dog back then?"

"No, Luke, Kirk has had 10,000 jobs, a quarter of which had the name 'service' in them."

"Geez, okay, things he provided with his...," Luke let out a cough, "his hands."

"Uhhh, chopping firewood..." Lorelai snapped her fingers, "snapping?" A big goofy grin was visible on her face as she continued to snap in Luke's face.

Luke grabbed her hand to silence it, "Do you think Kirk would try to make people pay him to snap his fingers?"

"Well, I don't know, you're not giving me a lot to go on here with the vagueness."

"Relaxation, it had to do with relaxation!"

"Oh, uh, is he a masseuse?"

"No, and I remember him saying, that no that wasn't it... because that's what I thought."

"Uh, so he used his hands to help people relax but wasn't a—OH MY GOD!" Lorelai shouted, sitting up incredibly straight. "Kirk is a call-girl! Kirk wanted to offer you his services! Like he did with Taylor! Oh. My. God... Luke, that is disgusting."

"Geez, Lorelai, lower your voice, he's downstairs on the couch!! I said no, I said no!" Luke quickly responded to her antics in a harsh whisper.

"I hope to God you said no! Because honey, if Kirk ever comes in proximity to your man-hood, you are so out the door. Wait, if anything that comes in proximity to your manhood that was in proximity to Taylor's manhood, you are also so out the door! In fact, if anyone other than me or a medical professional comes within proximity to your manhood, you are out the door!"

"Geez, I kicked him out of the diner when I finally got what he was saying, and it was never mentioned again! See, I shouldn't have said anything!"

"I'm going to have nightmares for a week, Luke."

"You'll get over it, now go to sleep."

"I can't go to sleep now."

"Geez, so much work."