ELEVEN

CC walked Susanna to school the next morning after helping with her hair, as usual, and making her lunch, which was Niles' job. She knew Susanna would be far less impressed with her sandwich and snacks today, but no matter how hard she tried the only thing she could really pull off in the kitchen was pizza.

"It's this way isn't it?" CC said as they walked hand in hand through the front door and veered down a right hand side hallway. CC usually dropped her off at the gate on the way to her early morning meetings, but she wanted to speak to the teacher and let her know the situation. If something happened to Niles, CC would be taking her daughter out of school immediately, and at the very least Susanna had spent the past two days at his bedside, she had an active imagination, and CC did not want her to be upset with no one to talk to.

"This one," Susanna announced, excited to be back at school. CC crouched on the ground and gave her a long, tight hug, before kissing her cheek.

"Have a good day," she said, aware there was a group of girls calling out to her. Susanna returned CC's kiss and then hurried to put her bag away and join her friends, and CC stood to wait to speak to the teacher, who was currently involved in a discussion with a woman in a pale blue uniform. If it had been a public school CC might have thought she was a mother on her way to a nursing shift, but she knew better.

*

She did have a meeting at the theatre afterwards, but what was meant to be a thirty minute catch-up dragged into a two and a half hour debriefing on the progress of rehearsals, costuming, lighting and music. The director had a lot to run by her, and CC did her best to focus for that time and approach each problem with a sensible head. By the time she left it was lunch time, she starving, and the sense that she had to be at the hospital was overwhelming the rest of her functions. She took a cab straight there from the theatre, and stopped in at the cafeteria to collect some fruit and a chicken sandwich to eat in his room, nothing too aromatic.

She sat down in her chair beside Niles' bed, stuck her apple in her mouth, crossed her legs and laid out the handful of pages with the director's scribbled notes on her lap. She flicked through them as she ate, to make sure he had not missed anything out of their meeting that he should have mentioned.

CC did not give Niles much attention until she disposed of her empty lunch packaging and apple core and returned to the room, sated and ready for a break from work. Without Susanna there, she felt less self-conscious about sitting on his bed, and she perched on the mattress near his hips and held his hand in her lap. His fingers twitched against her and CC smiled at him, glad she had some sign that the doctors were on the right track about him doing so well.

"Are you about ready to wake up?" she asked pointedly, with a raised eyebrow he could not see. "Do you know how boring it is sitting around a hospital? And you're not even awake to entertain me, you old man."

Niles' breathing was calm and even, and CC leant forward just long enough to press her lips gently to his.

"Susie's back at school, she's doing just fine. She had me telling her all sorts of stories. Maybe you wouldn't approve of some of the content, but she is a Babcock and it's important she knows where she stands in the world. Really I think she just wanted to hear about her mommy and daddy, and I edited out all the strange fights we've had...and the terrific sex."

CC looked down at his hand, held in one of hers as the other rhythmically stroked over his knuckles. She felt a pain in her chest when she realised all she wanted was to feel him responding to her touch. She always thought he would die before her, but she wanted to be an old woman when it happened. Maybe then it would hurt less, maybe then it would be easier to accept his limp hand in hers. His hair had not even gone grey. She glanced at the cast on his leg.

"Do you remember when I broke my collarbone?" she asked him. "In the snow?"

*

"Niles! Ni-iles! Niles, get in here you rat-bastard!"

"Now, now," he said as he bustled in with a towel slung over his shoulder. He smirked at her, sitting up in bed with her arm held out to the side in a traction frame that wrapped around her injured collarbone. "I'll have you know my mother was an adorable little mouse. Why do you think I'm so cute?"

"I think you're insane!" she exclaimed. "Where is my dog?"

"Having his dinner, and you, Queen of Patience, it's time for your bath. I would chain you up outside and just run the hose over you, but you'd freeze, get hit with a snowball, and fracture into a million pieces, and then I wouldn't have my chew toy anymore."

"You are not chewing anywhere near me," CC said, glaring. "Anyway, I don't need your help. I can take a bath!"

"Can you really?" he asked. CC had not actually thought about it, and she pressed her lips together in a stubborn refusal to budge as soon as she realised that he was right. She needed that extra pair of arms. "Do you think this is how I pictured spending my vacation?" Niles asked. "Trust me, CC Babcock, naked in a tub; I could vomit just at the thought." CC lifted her eyes to meet his as they filled with tears. She knew for a fact he had once found her attractive, hadn't he? Or was he just funning some more, maybe trying to convince himself she was an appalling excuse for a woman to deny that maybe, just maybe, he still wanted her. Niles met her eyes and then quickly looked away, and CC sucked in a breath.

When she was younger she had pictured being with him. Hell, they'd taken shirts off in her room at Oxford and made it to second base. It was just that having to be bathed around a cumbersome, heavy cast by a man who had made it very clear he didn't care about her was not what she had pictured between them. But what choice did she have? She was the one who had fallen out of the car the minute they arrived. Good work CC, she told herself. Screwing up, like always.

Niles helped her quickly and efficiently. He used a washer, not his hands, and the warm water and painkillers mixed to send CC into a comfortable dozing situation. At some point she became aware of the rapid beating of Niles' heart not far from her ear as he crouched behind her on the tiles, motionless. The washer was draped over her raised knee, and held there by the hand of his not holding her upright.

"Are you looking at me?" she asked, her voice low and content. "It's okay if you are."

"Miss Babcock," Niles said, his voice clipped. "I wouldn't look at you in exchange for a hundred vacations. I was wondering what to do about your hair. If we sat you in front of the sink, could you lean your head back?"

"No," CC said, her face scrunching up at just the thought. "It hurts."

"Maybe there's a product in the shops we can use. Mrs Sheffield will know."

"No!" CC insisted, shaking her head. "No, this is none of Nanny Fine's business."

"Miss Babcock, look at you with your arm sticking out from your shoulder like a half done, plaster-of-Paris scarecrow. I don't think you're in a position to argue."

"Yeah, well you just be glad I don't have my period."

"I knew you were low on oestrogen."

"If I could hit you..." Niles only laughed. "I meant not right now," she added through clenched teeth. "Help me up will you? I can't feel my ass anymore."

"This is perhaps the least classy conversation I've ever heard whizzing out of your mouth," Niles said as he hauled her to her feet under her arms and helped her step out onto the mat. CC just had to stand there, bracing herself against the wall with her good hand, as Niles dried her. He went to help her into a hotel robe, and then stopped, frozen. CC only glared at him as his eyes obviously settled across her arms and chest.

"What?" she asked.

"How are you meant to get a top on with your arm held out in plaster like that?"

"Unhook the frame."

"I can't, you heard the doctor. It has to stay that way for at least a week. We can drape this around your good side I suppose." Tears stung CC's eyes as she watched him mimic how he would put the robe on, holding it in front of him. He looked so focussed and thoughtful, as though it didn't matter two hoots to him that she was naked just one metre away.

"Can you please just cover me up?" she asked, her voice betraying her embarrassment. Niles met her eyes, and hurried to wrap the robe around her as best he could.

"We can drape another over you in bed, like a blanket," he said. "You'll be warm, and any room service staff won't get an undeserving eyeful." CC could only nod in thanks.

*

"This is the worst vacation ever!" CC exclaimed three days later as she used her good hand to take the pills from Niles' palm and pop them into her mouth. The water bottle was next.

"You're telling me?" he asked, perching on the edge of the bed. "At least we're going home soon."

"Great," CC replied with a dry tone and wide, unimpressed eyes. Niles chuckled.

"Hey, who is the one who has to stay up here with you two days after the rest of them leave just to take you to the doctor?"

"Oh don't pretend you're not happy you get an extra two days without having to run around like a butler."

"What do you think I'm doing right now?"

"You know what I mean. 'Niles, unpack my suitcase, won't you old man?' 'Niles, we're out of ice cream, will you go to the store and get some?' 'Niles, where's my hairbrush? I can't find it, oh wait, here it is!' Doesn't it drive you insane?"

"At least people talk to me."

"Oh be serious," she said, levelling him with a glare. "They treat you like shit most of the time and you know it, even the kids. I've seen Fran ask you to pass her something that's like, oh I don't know, two metres away!"

"I like helping them."

"You're a door mat."

"How long does it take for these pain killers to kick in?"

"Niles I..." CC was lost for words as her eyes filled with tears. He frowned at her, touching her cheek with the backs of his fingers. She shut her eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "You feel very warm. Don't get sick on me Babcock."

"What happened to you?" she said, watching him as he blushed and looked away. "Don't get me wrong I'm grateful for, well, this, for you staying with me, but I..." She stopped at the stunned expression on Niles' face, his wide, blue eyes and open mouth pointed directly at her. "What?" she asked, reaching up self consciously to ensure her robe still mostly covered her. "What is it?"

"I think that's the first time you've ever thanked me...for anything."

"That's not true!" CC said, scoffing until she realised that maybe, just maybe, it was.

"You don't think I'm good enough, I get it," Niles said, standing.

"No!" she called out, forcing him to stop in the doorway. He turned to her. "You don't get it. I thought you were too good, okay? I never thought, and it's not like you came right out and told me either!"

"What?"

"Niles..."

"Forget it," he said, huffing when she failed to explain herself. "I'll get us dinner." CC rested back on her mountain of pillows when he left, allowing her tears to trickle down her cheeks. She did not understand what had just happened. She hated being incapacitated; she hated having to rely on Niles or anyone else. She was in pain, and hadn't been sleeping properly, and she didn't know what she was saying anymore. It was just nice to have him there. CC did not know why he had to act so surprised and then get all defensive.

*

Niles never came back with any food for her, and CC expected that. It was just like him. She managed to turn a movie on with the remote control, and then she got out of bed and limped to the light switch to turn it off. When she got back into bed she accidentally knocked her outstretched arm against the headboard and pressed her lips together to muffle her scream and to stop her cursing aloud.

She got herself as comfortable as she possibly could, and then laid her head back against her pillows to watch the old movie, doing her best to close her eyes every few minutes, trying to will herself to sleep, but who could sleep in her position? The harder she tried to relax the more tense she got. She just wanted to take a chainsaw and cut through the cast. Why couldn't they have cast her arm in a more sensible position? Complicated break her ass!

"What's all this grumbling?" Niles asked in the dark. CC had stopped paying attention to the movie, but when she looked up to see him cast in the large television's glow she realised it was nearing the end.

"None of your damn business," she said under her breath. Niles was dressed for bed, in boxer shorts and a t-shirt, and he padded barefoot over to her.

"I'm afraid that it is my business Miss Babcock, unless it's your monthly friend and in that case, I'll be getting Mrs Sheffield to-"

"Like Hell you will. Nanny Fine's not getting anywhere near me! Besides I told you, didn't I? You're safe for another week and a half, Jeeves. Just go to bed already."

"What's the matter?" he asked, sitting on the bed. "Do you need more painkillers? You're probably due. Some water? Do you feel ill? Are you hungry?"

"I can't sleep okay?" she said, just to shut him up. "I haven't been able to sleep since I got here." Niles pressed his lips together. CC knew the butler in him probably felt guilty for not knowing that, but it wasn't like he was sleeping with her. How could he have known?

"Why don't you think you can sleep?" he asked.

"Are you kidding? Have you seen me, Niles? I'm in a strange bed, I look like I belong in a Halloween play, my back and neck is killing me, and I'm doped and cranky and augh!"

"Okay, okay, stop your growling," Niles said, smirking as he switched on the bedside lamp. "First of all, no television in the dark. It doesn't help." CC sighed as he switched it off.

"I wasn't even watching it. I just wanted the background noise."

"Can you sit forward?"

"I'll probably topple forward I'm so top-heavy with this damn cast."

"Wait here," he said, getting off the bed and hurrying from the room. CC rolled her eyes. Yeah okay, sure, because she really felt like running a marathon and it was his order that was going to stop her. What an idiot.

CC acknowledged that maybe he was a little less of an idiot when he returned a few minutes later with a heat pack.

"Sit forward," he said. "Try to relax your head down."

"I can't," she whispered, as he squeezed in behind her. "It kills." Niles wrapped the warm, blue packet around her neck anyway, and held it there with one hand, before drawing the robe off her shoulder with his other. CC tensed, her skin rose in goose bumps. "Niles-"

"It's all right," he said. "I wouldn't dream of molesting you Babcock." CC was not sure she believed that when she felt one arm wrap around her. His fingers splayed out over her sternum and he pushed her further forward, stretching her back and rubbing large circles over it with his free hand. CC lifted her knees to help balance, but he had a strong, safe hold of her with his hand pressed between her breasts. Her head fell forward and her eyes shut at the sharp pains that travelled from the base of her skull to her tailbone, pain that Niles was stretching out of her from somewhere deep amongst her bruised muscles and bones.

She groaned, long and loud, as he focussed on the curve of her lower back. She arched into his hand and barely registered him laughing somewhere near her shoulder. What was so damn funny?

"Babcock," he said. "This is about the time I tell you I don't know what I'm doing."

"Bullshit. Don't stop." She felt she could barely catch her breath.

"You know the way you're carrying on, if anyone was listening they'd think we were-"

"Niles, please!" She just wanted him to shut up, didn't he know that?

"Your lower back's all squished down in its arch from trying to sit in this leaning back against pillows position so long." CC could only gurgle and moan as he found another knot. What was she, a loaf of bread? His had to be the luckiest dough in the world. Her legs were shaking. She could not hold them up for much longer. She just wanted to lie back and rest.

As soon as she had the thought her body took over, and Niles was on to the subtle changes in her posture. He drew her upright, and then back towards the pillows he had hurriedly rearranged. Once she was lying on a warm, loose back, CC looked up at him through slit eyes, still making little noises in her throat and shifting her spine as best she could. Her lips parted as she watched his chest heaving. He had gotten pleasure out of that, she knew it.

"God I want you," she whispered, breathing deeply as her eyes closed.

"Shh, I see the drugs have kicked in," he said, brushing his fingers over her forehead. "Go to sleep honey." CC did as she was told, but her lingering thought was that he hadn't called her 'Miss' Babcock. That night, she thought maybe to him she was just CC. Babcock. Honey.

*

CC laughed as she recounted that night, leaning over the still body of her husband. Looking back, drugs had little to do with either of their reactions. She kept the words of their memory quiet, private between the two of them, enclosed in the blonde hair that fell over her ears and touched his cheeks. Her laughter turned to tears when she saw the corners of Niles' lips curl upwards, just as she ended the tale. His cheeks twitched under the tips of her hair. She squeezed his hand, and his fingers moved; consciously, she thought. Thank God.

"Can you hear me Niles?" she asked, laying a hand against his jaw and stroking a thumb over his cheek. His bruising looked so much better already.

"Mm," he hummed, his voice choked and dry. "My baby by my side." CC leant forward and kissed him in the corner of his mouth, feeling his eyelashes flutter against her. "What happened?" he asked. When CC pulled away she looked into two narrowed, deep blue eyes filled with concern and confusion, clouded by a mix of pain and painkillers. Still, he looked happy, and she had a good feeling it was because she was there, and he had heard her.

"You're in hospital," she said in a whisper. "You were in a car accident." Niles frowned. Clearly he did not remember. CC laid a hand over his chest and he glanced sideways, towards the still-beeping monitor.

"Did I have a heart attack?" he asked, looking back at her. She shook her head, unable to help her pleased smile.

"We thought that's what it was, that was probably what you thought it was when it was happening. We're not sure if you panicked, or passed out. Either way you hit a lamp post."

"In the car?" he asked. CC nodded.

"It was just your angina Niles. You didn't have a heart attack; your heart's doing just fine. You do have a broken leg though, and you've been unconscious for a few days with a bad concussion."

"Is that why you were telling me that story?" he asked, smiling up at her. CC nodded. "I heard you laughing. Susanna?"

"She's at school today," CC said, stroking her fingers through his hair. "Are you in any pain? Do you need the nurse?"

"I think I'm okay," he said, sighing and shutting his eyes. "Have you been here?"

"Every day," she said, whispering. "Susie slept in bed with me to keep me company at night."

"Scared?" he asked, opening his eyes to watch her. CC leant forward until her nose was just in front of his.

"Terrified," she whispered.

"Had this dream," he said, mumbling under his breath. "You and me in bed in the hotel, with my play, singing the songs together." CC grinned and sat back, watching the way his smile lit up his tired face. It was not so much a dream as a memory. "When can I go home?"

"I don't know, a couple of days? I'm going to tell the nursing staff you're awake, all right? I'll be back." Niles nodded, and CC squeezed his hand before she left. He squeezed back.

*

CC was getting ready for bed a week later when Niles swung in on his crutches. She turned, and watched Niles' eyes travel over her full figure, draped in pink and white lace and satin.

"Oh baby," he said, nudging the bedroom door closed with one of his crutches.

"Is she asleep?" CC asked. He nodded.

"She wanted to tell me all about what you told her. About you growing up, and about us. She's very pleased with herself, feeling like a little encyclopaedia of facts about her parents. She just didn't seem to grasp that I was there for the actual events, and she kept looking at me when I laughed at all the convenient little gaps I found!" CC laughed.

"She's five Niles, not twenty-five."

"Was it sufficient distraction?"

"It did help pass the time, and it was nice to think you might hear me. Who was on the phone earlier when I was on the phone to the theatre director?"

"Mrs Sheffield," Niles said, before catching himself. "Fran. Just wanted to see how I was. I spoke to Maxwell briefly. Grace got into Yale. She's keen to visit."

"Susanna loves her," CC reminded him with a smile. "That would be wonderful."

"Before I brush my teeth I'd just like to point out, two days out of hospital and you're wearing that? Are you trying to kill me?" CC laughed.

"No," she said, tracing a finger along the lace bodice. "I just thought that, without getting the heart rate up too high, we could...celebrate life, a little?" Niles laughed and swung past her.

"I think it would be okay to enjoy my wife...a little," he said from the nearby bathroom, the door open between them. "Do you still have that taping of our first show?"

"Of course, why?" she asked, sitting on the bed and running her tongue over her clean teeth.

"Your daughter wants to see it."

"She's your daughter, thank you! Did you know you've got her sneaking around? She heard you call me your lover on the couch the other week."

"I don't think it bothered her. And who ran riot in some fancy schmancy apartment block when she was five, playing Nancy Drew, chasing her nanny to every other room."

"That scarred me for life!" CC said, laughing when Niles returned with a wide grin on his face.

"I don't remember seeing any scars that night I ate chocolate sauce off you." CC smirked.

"Well we are not doing that tonight. I don't want you to drop dead on top of me." Niles shook his head in a silent promise as CC stood to lock the bedroom door. They never fell asleep with it locked, but it was a temporary precaution.

"Let's not say the D word," he said as she returned. "It makes me nervous." CC pulled the covers back and draped herself against his side as he sat against the headboard. Her hand rubbed over his chest, where she knew he was bruised from his seatbelt, and they kissed quietly. "CC," he said, listening to her hum through their joined lips. He pulled back long enough to speak, nuzzling his face against hers. "Slowly." She nodded. She would never risk their health.

*

"Comfortable?" she asked some time later. The door was unlocked again, the lights were off, and Niles was tucked in beside her. They were both dressed, and his head lay near hers on their side-by-side pillows. He nodded, dragging her onto her side until she was pressed up against him. She rested a hand lightly on his ribs and shut her eyes. "Wake me if you feel ill or need more painkillers," she whispered. "God, that cast is scratchy." Niles nodded, stroking her hand and turning his face towards her.

"What was your favourite bit?" he asked.

"Of just then?" CC asked, smirking. "Do you really want to know?"

"No," he said, chuckling as she released a rare giggle. "Of the last twenty-odd years."

"Hmm, lots of times," she mumbled. Niles poked her firmly in the ribs and she squealed. "What?"

"That's cheating."

"Well okay," she said, opening her eyes and resting a hand on his turned cheek. "Before Susanna...It was the look in your eyes when you said you would come to New York with me, when you stood next to me and told Maxwell and Fran. It only made me fall...in love with you more. And after Susanna...when she was born, and I saw you holding the daughter you never thought you'd have, all bloody and squirming, and you brought her to me and put her on my chest and wrapped us up together."

"What about for you?" Niles asked, stretching over to kiss her nose. "Those are about me."

"No they're not. You are about me. I never thought I'd have a daughter either. I thought I'd...be a failure at it just like I probably would have been if I didn't have you."

"She adores you, you know," he said. CC shut her eyes and nodded.

"What about your favourite bits?" she asked.

"Easy," he said. "All the times I got to see you smile, in the Sheffield home, when no one else did or when you thought no one was looking. I remember dancing with you once, and you gave me this big grin when I dipped you, that moment was perfect, and then tonight."

"Mm?" CC asked when he did not finish the thought.

"When my beautiful daughter looked up at me and said she didn't care that I was a butler."

"She's never cared, darling," CC whispered, rubbing his chest.

"Yes, but you gave her reasons. Thank you."

"Well someone had to teach her, and I wasn't going to let any nanny do it for me."

"That's my girl," Niles said, laughing. "I'm so happy where we are, Chastity, Chastity Claire. I want you to know that in case something ever-" CC blindly found his lips with her fingers and pressed them there, cutting him off until she could lift her head and stare down into his eyes.

"Don't talk like that," she said. "Don't you dare. That name is only to be used in certain intimate situations-"

"What's this then?"

"This is you trying to say goodbye and I won't hear of it!" Niles blushed as anger flashed in CC's eyes. Tears filled them both up. "We just made love," she whispered. "Please don't-"

"I'm sorry," he said, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her back down against his chest. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm just a stupid butler, remember?" CC took a deep, settling breath against him and did her best not to cry as Niles' arms tightened around her.

"You were never just a butler to me," she whispered, finding her own pillow but keeping hold of him. "You're the only man I've ever loved. Do you know that?" she asked, her voice soft and filled with sleep.

"Of course I do," he said. He waited a beat, until CC relaxed, before adding, "Wench." She opened her eyes and frowned at him.

"Pig," she hissed. He grinned, and CC saw it in his eyes before she heard it from his lips.

"Chicken." She took his face in her hands and silenced him with an urgent, fierce kiss that Niles returned, full of history and passion and silent promises. She had been a chicken once, but so had he. They weren't anymore.

The End