The Eleven Doctors of Christmas

"On the first day of Christmas, my Doctor gave to me a TARDIS in a banana tree!"

"Hold on! It's a PEAR tree!" the sixth Doctor corrected.

"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" the Doctor said, making a sour face.

"What is wrong with pears?"

"They taste terrible, they rot faster than any fruit in the bowl, they…"

"Fine, have it your way!" the sixth Doctor said, holding his hands up.

"Right, where were we?"

"We were on the second day," the fifth Doctor said.

"On the second day of Christmas, my Doctor gave to me two plastic recorders and a TARDIS in a banana tree."

"I say, that is a great present," the second Doctor said.

"As long as you aren't playing them," the third Doctor said.

"What is wrong with my playing?!"

"If I have to hear Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star one more time…"

"Right, where were we?" the Doctor asked, stepping in between them.

"On the third day of Christmas, my Doctor gave to me three cars called "Bessie", two plastic recorders and a TARDIS in a banana tree."

"Why did you call her "Bessie"?" the seventh Doctor asked.

"I just liked the name," the third Doctor said.

"Can we just sing?" the sixth Doctor asked.

"On the fourth day of Christmas, my Doctor gave to me four bags of jelly babies, three cars called "Bessie", two plastic recorders and a TARDIS in a banana tree."

"Ah, jelly babies! Would anyone like some?" the fourth Doctor asked, smiling.

"NO!" they said at once.

"Fine, but you didn't have to shout."

"On the fifth day of Christmas, my Doctor gave to me fiiiiiiiive cricket balls! Four bags of jelly babies, three cars called "Bessie", two plastic recorders and a TARDIS in a banana tree."

"Blimey, I forgot this part of the song! Makes me glad to be the fifth Doctor!" the fifth Doctor said, smiling. The Sixth Doctor snorted and the Doctor gently nudged the fifth Doctor.

"On the sixth day of Christmas, my doctor gave to me six cat pins, fiiiiiiiive cricket balls! Four bags of jelly babies, three cars called "Bessie", two plastic recorders and a TARDIS in a banana tree."

"Gee, that was a surprise," the ninth Doctor grumbled, nodding his head toward the sixth Doctor.

"Sing!" the sixth Doctor shouted.

"On the seventh day of Christmas, my Doctor gave to me seven umbrellas, six cat pins, fiiiiive cricket balls! Four bags of jelly babies, three cars called "Bessie", two plastic recorders and a TARDIS in a banana tree."

"Um….," the fifth Doctor said, looking at the seventh Doctor.

"It was all I could think of," the seventh Doctor said, shrugging.

"On the eighth day of Christmas, my Doctor gave to me eight daleks attacking, seven umbrellas, six cat pins, fiiiiiive cricket balls! Four bags of jelly babies, three cars called "Bessie", two plastic recorders and a TARDIS in a banana tree."

"What?!" the sixth Doctor shouted, looking at the eighth Doctor.

"Leave him alone!" the ninth Doctor shouted.

"Where were we?!" the Doctor asked, stepping between them.

"On the ninth day of Christmas, my Doctor gave to me nine Jackie slaps, eight daleks attacking, seven umbrellas, six cat pins, fiiiiiiive cricket balls! Four bags of jelly babies, three cars called "Bessie", two plastic recorders and a TARDIS in a banana tree."

"Oi, who put that in there?!" the ninth Doctor demanded and the Doctor whistled, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet.

"Can we get on with this, hmmmmmm?" the first Doctor asked, tapping the cane on the floor.

"On the tenth day of Christmas, my Doctor gave to me ten kisses from Rose, nine Jackie slaps, eight daleks attacking, seven umbrellas, six cat pins, fiiiiiiiive cricket balls! Four bags of jelly babies, three cars called "Bessie", two plastic recorders and a TARDIS in a banana tree."

"In your dreams, Pretty Boy," the ninth Doctor whispered.

"Did she get stranded in a parallel world with YOUR clone?" the Doctor asked, grinning.

"Can we just finish this?!" the sixth Doctor asked.

"On the eleventh day of Christmas, my Doctor gave to me eleven bow ties, ten kisses from Rose, nine Jackie slaps, eight daleks attacking, seven umbrellas, six cat pins, fiiiiiiiive cricket balls! Four bags of jelly babies, three cars called "Bessie", two plastic recorders and a TARDIS in a banana tree."

"Well, that was fun," the third Doctor said while the second Doctor counted them then frowned and sighed.

"Oh, my giddy aunt, we're one Doctor short. I mean, it is the TWELVE days of Christmas, isn't it?" the second Doctor said.

"You're right for once."

"So we need another Doctor," the fourth Doctor said, looking at the eleventh Doctor.

"Why are you looking at me like that for?" the eleventh Doctor asked then figured out what they had in mind. "Oooooooooooooooooooh, come on, I just got started!" They started walking closer when he turned and ran out the door. "AMY!"

"Whoa, and I thought I could run!" the Doctor said.

"Should we go tell him we were kidding?" the fifth Doctor asked and the others nodded, leaving the room. The first Doctor slowly walked toward the door when he turned and looked at no one in particular then smiled.

"Merry Christmas," he said with a nod then left the room, closing the door behind him.

The end…..