AN: I do not own Harry Potter, or any of the characters. I only own my imagination.

I sat there. Just staring at the parchment on the table. Everything I knew, everything that was mine was gone. My world, my life, my identity was gone. I thought to just a few minutes before…

"It just slipped out."

"Slipped out? Why should I be any different. You call everyone of my birth that, how am I any different than them."

"Please Lily-"

"No Severus. You've made your decision. And I've made mine."

The memory made me angry and fuelled me to write what I needed to write. Sell the house. I won't be going there anymore. My identity, my life, my world…they never existed. And they won't again.

Chapter 1

The train ride back to London was the longest that it had ever been. The entire time I sat there in the prefects compartment. It had long been vacated by the others, all going back to sit with their friends and making summer plans. I knew I would go to Alice's the last week. That's how it always had been, but before that I didn't know. I didn't have much wizard money, but I figured it would be enough for a room at the Leaky Cauldron. Though there isn't like I had much of a choice otherwise. Petunia…well I couldn't exactly expect any welcome from her. She'd made that very clear with the letter I got the day before. I just have to figure out how to get to the Leaky Cauldron now.

The train started to slow. I sighed and started to gather my stuff. Deciding that I would stay on the train until most everyone was off and gone with their parents to avoid any questions of her family's whereabouts. Just as I was putting the last of my stuff into my trunk the compartment door opened. I turned warily, though relaxed only a little when I realized who was there.

"Tell my mum I'll be out in a minute. I forgot something in the prefects compartment!" Remus Lupin called to his friends the Marauders. He turned and saw me, "Oh hey Lily did you forget something too?"

"Um…I guess you can say that…"

"Lily…that's all of your stuff…"

I got on rather well with Remus. He wasn't anywhere as conceited as the Black or Potter. I only wished he would step up more to keep his ridiculous friends in check.

"Yeah. This is all my stuff."

"Did you not sit with Alice, Frank, and Mary today?"

"No. I needed some quiet today."

"Are you feeling alright?"

"Yes Remus. I'm fine. Right as rain." I gave him a wry smile. "Well have a nice summer Remus. I'll see you in September." I lifted one end of my trunk and started to lug it out and off the train.

Remus seemed hesitant; I could tell he was unsure whether or not to believe me. "Yeah see you Lily. Keep safe this summer. More and more things have seemed to be happening lately."

Don't I know that already…"I will Remus. Thanks."

A little while later the station had pretty much cleared out. I stayed off to the side, watching as the last families gathered their stuff and started to make their way to leave the platform. It felt like the hole that had been growing in my chest had been ripped open, as I had watched the reunions of families. Fussing mothers, and teasing but relieved fathers around the station.

I had seen Alice after getting off the train. And after being scolded for not rejoining her, Frank and Mary in the usual compartment she reminded me of coming to her families summer home in Ireland the last week of the summer break. Then we giggled about Frank's mother who was attempting to wipe a smudge off his face, and then Alice gave me a big hug and I caught the scent of Drooble's Best Blowing Gum, her favorite candy. Then she left with her quiet mother.

I stared after her, Remember how mum's hair used to curl…No Lily. Stop thinking about it. It gets you nowhere…Then my thoughts were interrupted by a quiet, "Lily. Do you need a ride?"

I turned to see Remus standing behind me. Potter, Black, and Peter had already left, I had seen them all go, but Remus and his thin pale mother still stood there off to the side.

"A ride Remus?"

"Yeah. To wherever you're staying this summer…I found this on the floor of the prefects compartment." He held out the reply from Petunia after she had sold the house.

Finally. You're so selfish you know. What need do you have for the house or anything in it? You've got oh so wonderful powers and friends and school, you don't need it. But I'm newly married and have to do everything on my own, including my own wedding thanks to you. Go clean out your junk on the third. NO other day. Before that me and Vernon will be there taking care of my mum and dad's stuff. And the cleaners are coming on the fourth. This is goodbye and good riddance freak. I'll never have to see you again. Don't contact me ever again.

"Oh…"

"I didn't mean to read it Lily. It was open and…"

"Don't worry Remus. I understand. You did nothing wrong."

"But, I'm assuming you don't have a ride? You don't have to explain any of it, true I don't understand it. But you don't have to explain. Just let me and my mum take you wherever you need to get to."

I looked down, "Remus…" then right as I was about to refuse I looked at his mum's face. It was so open, and so soothing. I gulped trying to blink away the tears that came. "Ok. Thanks." Mrs. Lupin smiled warmly and ushered Remus and I to the boundary.

When we got out to where they were parked I found that the car was a pickup. "Sorry there won't be much room, but this is the best to get out to our place."

"It's fine. I don't mind."

Remus grabbed my tunk and heaved it into the back, then put his in behind it. His mum started up the car, and he helped me up next to him allowing me to settle down by the window. "Where to?"

"Just the Leaky Cauldron. I'm going to see if I can arrange a room there."

Remus nodded reluctantly. "Ok." And we started to drive. I continued to look out the window at the passing traffic.

"There's my little Lilykins. Oh so grown up! Now which of these boys do I have to take care of? Anyone harmed my little girl?" His eyes sparkled and his balding head gleamed as the sun reflected off.

"Daddy. Please" I said with a smile. " Don't embarrass me."

"Oh Lily you look so thin! Are you sure they feed you well at that school? You always look like you're wasting away when you get home!"

"Mum really. I eat just fine. Besides you're not much bigger than I am."

"Oh Lily, are you sure hon? Of course you're sure, you're always so sure. Oh Tunie say hello to your sister you haven't seen her since Christmas."

Petunia kept her head turned, staring fixedly at the wall so as not to look at anyone that was moving around them.

"Petunia! Say hello to your sister!"

"Mum. It's fine. I'm just glad to be back, lets get home so you can see that I eat something yes?"

"Mum! This is the wrong way!"

I was jerked out of my thoughts when I heard Remus' exclamation. I blinked to see that we had left the main roads and were heading straight out of London. I turned to look at the Lupins to see what was going on.

"Mum, the Leaky Cauldron is in London. Lily asked us to drop her off there"

Mrs. Lupin just shook her head firmly and kept driving.

"Mum…"

"No." I blinked, this was the first that I had heard Mrs. Lupin speak. "No friend of yours is staying at the Leaky Cauldron."

"Mum we haven't even asked."

"Lily, you don't mind coming do you. I would never be able to rest knowing someone that had been so good to my son was staying in a room at a place like the Leaky Cauldron."

"But, I don't wish to intrude…" I stuttered out, only to be cut off by Mrs. Lupin.

"No intrusion at all. We have plenty of space, and you already know about my dear Remus and from what I'm assured there's no need to worry about you. Any friend of Remus is a friend of mine, and I don't let my friend's rent out rooms."

"Alright…Alright…Thank you."

"Of course my dear. Now get comfortable. It takes a while to get home, but there's plenty of space and fresh air. Which I'm sure will be a Godsend after being stuck in that crowded train all day."

I gave a half smile. And turned back to the window to watch everything pass by. It was so calm in the truck, and I was so tired. I soon drifted off to sleep.

REMUS POV

As soon as I was sure she was asleep I murmured, "Thanks Mum. I felt horribly having to drop her off anywhere, but I didn't know what I could say or do."

"Of course Remus. She looked so lost, I'm glad that you went to speak to her."

"I haven't seen her smile in weeks Mum. That's the closest she's gotten to a smile since that day a while ago…"

"What happened?"

"James and Sirius were being James and Sirius. They were picking on that Slytherin friend of Lily's. I know she's been her friend since childhood, but I also know once they're going like that there's no stopping them…But she went in to stop them."

"Did he ask her out so untactfully again?"

"Yes…But that wasn't the big deal. Her friend called her…he called her a you-know-what."

"He didn't? What kind of friend was he?"

"A good one before…but he's changed, and Lily was forced to see the change in such an awful way. All of the light was gone from her face, and her eyes became so hard and lifeless…it wasn't Lily. I haven't seen her smile since…"

"Poor dear. Lost her lifelong friend in such a way. She must feel so alone. Do you know why she isn't going home?"

"Her family has traveled before for her father's work…I'm going to assume it's that…but that letter she had…it makes me wonder if it's something more. But I'm not going to push her. She's always been one to tell her feelings when she can, and not before. If you try and get it out all you get is her pushing you away."

My mum nodded. "Let's just take care of her now Remus. I think that's what she needs the most now."

"I agree Mum. Let's just be careful with what she says ok?"

"Of course. Of course. Relax now Remus. It's a long drive."

"I know Mum. I live there too you know. It hasn't been that long since I've been home." She gave a small smile, and reached out a hand to rub my hair.

"I know. It just feels long for me."

"Love you Mum."

"You too dear. You too."

AN

This is my first fanfiction. Please don't be too harsh. I welcome any kind of criticism, just try to be kind about it. It's the middle of finals and I'm feeling a little frazzled.