All Because of Walmart

By: JMFanficQueen

Preface:

As I sat there on the couch, staring at the doctor, I couldn't help feeling sorry for him. He was in for a couple of long and stressful weeks. That's what happens when vampires go to therapy.

(For all my old-timers, you can skip the chapters 1and 2 and go straight to chapter 3. To everyone else . . . read on and enjoy!)

Chapter 1:

100 Hundred Boxes of Cereal and 200 Tomatoes

It was another regular day in the Cullen household. Emmett and Jasper were some game on the plasma. Alice and Rose were shopping online and I was lying on the couch with Edward. Esme and Carlisle were out on a trip and weren't supposed to be back until tomorrow.

"I'm bored" Emmett said suddenly as he turned off the TV.

"We should go shopping" Alice sang.

"Shopping! I almost forgot! I have to go grocery shopping" I said as I got up.

"SUPER WALMART!!" Emmett yelled suddenly and everyone cheered in response except Edward.

"No!!" he groaned.

"Umm . . . what's wrong with Super Walmart?" I asked worriedly.

"Nothing, it's awesome!" Emmett said as he picked me up and ran me to Edward's Volvo. "Let's go!" he said excitedly as everyone else slid in.

"Ugh, Bella, you're going to regret this" Edward said as he drove off.

"Why, I mean . . . what could possibly happen Super Walmart?" I thought aloud.

When we arrived, everyone but Edward and I were nearly bouncing out of their seats. Uhoh, something tells me this is going to be a very interesting visit

"Come on" I said as I grabbed a shopping cart and headed inside.

The second I got inside, I turned.

"So—" but I stopped short when I saw I was alone.

I grabbed my phone and dialed Edward, he answered on the first ring.

"Where are you?" I asked as I walked.

"Alice has me, I'm sorry love. Call me when you're done" he said and the line cut off.

"Oh well, looks like I'll shop alone" I said.

I walked towards the grocery section and saw a big sign announcing The Biggest Antique Sale in Wal-Mart History near the West wing.

"I'll have to get Esme something" I thought aloud as I went through the aisles.

I bought bread, milk, cheese, chicken, some spices, cereal, pop tarts, eggs and other stuff. It took a while because there was this old lady in front of me in the line at the meat section who couldn't decide between 2 pounds or 2.25 pounds of ham and there was only one servant. After I finally got the ham, I headed towards the produce section.

Everything was going fine until I hit the vegetable area. I was grabbing some tomatoes and didn't notice the puddle of water on the floor. I mean, technically, it should've had a Caution, Wet Surface sign but no. So I, clumsy Bella, walked straight into the puddle and slipped.

"Whoa!" I said as I grabbed onto the cart.

The stupid cart tipped and started falling with me! I grabbed to the side but only caught onto the flap that kept the tomatoes from falling. The stupid thing came right off and all the tomatoes came falling out! I fell on my but in the puddle, the floor was hard!!

The eggs were all over my legs and the milk had exploded and was all over my shirt. I had tomato juice in my hair and my pants were soaked. When everything had finally come out of the cart, the stupid thing exploded forward and slammed into the cereal aisle, knocking down a bunch of boxes. The people around the cereal area screamed like little girls, even the guys and one guy even ran off yelling about possessed cart.

I began to wipe the eggs and milk off. I figured it was useless so I tried to get up but only slipped again. Wal-Mart personnel came rushing in from all directions. Some went to the cereal area. Other grabbed the cart and some came to me.

"Come with me ma'am" said one of the personnel.

"Thank you, I need to change, my pants and just about everything is soaked" I said as I grabbed onto his arm and pulled myself up.

"Let's go ma'am" said they guy as he guided me away as soon as I got up.

"But . . . my stuff" I said as I looked back.

"Now ma'am or I will have to use force" said the personnel.

I turned to look at him funny and noticed that he had on a police uniform. Uhoh. Something tells me he isn't going to get me a new pair of clothes. He took me to the back of the store to a door with a keypad. He typed in a number and the door unlocked. He swung it open and pushed me roughly inside.

"Bella?" called my angels voice.

"Edward?" I asked adjusting to the bright light.

"Bella?!?!?!" Everyone called, surprised and slightly laughing as they saw me.

"You know her?" the officer asked.

"Yeah, we all came here together but got separated" Edward said calmly.

"Wait . . ." I said as I looked around and saw Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Rosalie in here as well. "What exactly happened?" I asked confused.

"Well" began the officer. "This guy" he said pointing to Emmett "Was dressing up in costumes and scaring kids" he said.

"I wasn't! I was just having fun. They cried by themselves. All I did was smile and sing" Emmett argued and I wondered how many men it took to get Emmett here.

"This one" he said pointing to Rose "Threatened and physically hurt a lady over a pair of earrings. The lady claims she said she would kill her and feast on her if she didn't give her the earrings" at this all our eyes widened on Rosalie. "And then flung her against the wall" he explained.

"That wasn't what happened!" Rosalie yelled. "They were handcrafted $150 earrings. The lady thought they were $5 dollars and wanted them. We grabbed them at the same time but I told her they were mine. We argued and the threat was just . . . well, just a threat when you get angry. She threatened to spray me with pepper-spray, which she did, by the way but I ducked out of the way just in time" Rosalie said and I just stared, frozen in shock. "Then, we were tugging and it just slipped from my fingers" Rosalie said which I highly doubted that is just slipped "And she flew against the wall. It was totally her fault" she argued.

"And this one" he said pointing to Jasper, completely ignoring Rosalie rant. "Attacked an elderly person with a gun nearly giving him a heart attack"

"Hey, I was playing Mafia Wars III! It was a new release and came with the interactive plastic gun and visual glasses which make you feel like you are actually in the game. When I turned to the guys, I saw him as an attacker on my screen so I shot him" Jasper explained.

"Shorty here" he continued, ignoring Jasper as well "Was sexually harassing women along with him" he pointed to Edward. "Who was her accomplice and was in the women's dressing room" He said and I looked at Edward incredulously but he had his head in his hands "and was found in there without pants" finished the officer.

"WHAT?!?!?!" I asked incredulously.

"You don't understand Bella, Alice was helping the women change, not inside but helping outside and she had me carrying her stuff. I couldn't see her when she came up and took my belt saying it was the perfect color. My pants dropped a bit. She stepped on the bottom as I moved back, making my pants come off and making me fall" he explained as he glared at Alice.

"But they needed help!" he told Edward and the officers. "They were combining clothes terribly!" she whined.

"Okay, okay!" called the officer. "Last but not least is her" he said pointing to me. "She supposedly 'slipped '"he said using air quotes. "Knocking down 100 hundred boxes of cereal, 200 tomatoes, milk, eggs and much other merchandise that cannot be replaced" explained the officer and everyone broke out into laughter.

Hey Guys! It's great to be writting for you guys again! =p.

For all you that have just tuned in and haven't read my story : The Valentine's Day Dare Hunt I suggest you do. It's very comical (Just check out the reviews) and it's a prequel to this story . . . or this is a sequel to that . . . anyway, you should read i t but if you don't, it's fine because it's a sequel but not really . . . it's independent to the other story . . . sort of. I'm confused. . . =p just read on and enjoy.

For all my old-timers, you can skip the next chapter as well and go straight to chapter 3.

=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=