The Best of Intentions

Disclaimer: Star Trek Voyager, its characters, etc. are owned by Paramount.

Author's Note: This story is dedicated to the wonderful mab13j. Just something to chew on…

Chakotay lay completely still on his bed, his arms raised, his hands cradling his head against the pillow. The lights were off, and the vague sprinkling of warp-driven stars cast only flickers of illumination across his face. He heard the sound of his own breathing, felt the rhythm of his heart beating, and hated every thought that flashed through his mind.

He had never felt so helpless in his life. Hands tied.

He vaguely heard the door chime of his quarters but made no move to answer it. Then there was the distinct whooshing sound of someone entering, purposeful footsteps approaching his bedroom. Chakotay half sat up, momentarily disoriented. Who would be visiting him? Obviously only someone with authorized access codes. Kathryn? He doubted it.

"Commander Chakotay," a voice intoned from the doorway. Tuvok. The Chief of Security stood, vaguely outlined by a sudden soft light from the other room yet seemingly eclipsed by the darkness before him. He stood ramrod straight, his hands clasped in front of him, chin poised, eyes forward.

"Tuvok," Chakotay said, a sinking feeling burrowing in his stomach. He dragged himself from the bed, his wary eyes never leaving Tuvok's composed face. "Can I do something for you?"

Tuvok observed him for a moment, then tilted his head slightly as he spoke. "I would like to speak with you." His dark eyes were lake-calm as usual, but Chakotay detected a sense of unease inexplicably trickling from the Vulcan.

"So, what's going on? Are you here to escort me to the brig?" He tried to keep his tone casual, but his heart was starting to thud. Tuvok merely regarded him impassively.

"I was not sent here by Captain Janeway." At Tuvok's non-answer, Chakotay fought the sudden urge to strangle the Vulcan. Where was the logic in prolonging this uncomfortable conversation? Chakotay sighed.

"Well, then, why are you here, Tuvok?" Chakotay fought to keep the irritation from his voice.

"May I?" Tuvok asked, gesturing to a chair. Chakotay nodded and slumped back down on the edge of the bed, his elbows resting on his thighs.

"Commander, I would like to discuss the current…situation…regarding the Equinox." Tuvok spoke calmly. "I believe that Captain Janeway has lost her objectivity in this matter."

And there it was yet again, Chakotay thought wryly. The Vulcan penchant for colossal understatement.

"What's your point, Tuvok?" he responded bitterly, and Tuvok raised an eyebrow.

"My point, Commander," the Vulcan continued, "is that the captain's decisions are becomingly increasingly irrational. Not only is she blatantly disregarding the dictates of Starfleet, she is also placing the crew of this ship at considerable risk to satisfy her need for revenge."

"Yeah, that pretty much sums it up," Chakotay said dryly. Tuvok was undeterred by his sarcasm.

"She spoke with the Ankari today and agreed to turn over the Equinox and its crew to the nucleogenic aliens." Chakotay felt his stomach constrict at Tuvok's words.

"She…what?" he gasped. He had so fervently hoped that the fiasco with Noah Lessing would turn out to be the worst of it, the high—or low—point of Kathryn's defection.

But apparently, it wasn't.

"When I attempted to intervene, she threatened to confine me to quarters."

"Join the club," Chakotay muttered.

"As a matter of fact, that is precisely what she suggested," Tuvok said, and Chakotay could swear there was a lurking glint of dark humor in the Vulcan's eyes. Chakotay sighed again, rubbing his hands over his face. Silence returned to haunt the room, unbroken by Tuvok who was content to remain quiet while Chakotay considered all of the options.

Finally, he raised his head and contemplated the security officer. It was rare that the two of them were willing allies for anything. Although mutual respect had been forged between them, friendship remained an elusive and unsought after concept. But right now, they had no one to trust but each other.

Ironic, Chakotay thought. Her two best friends plotting against her. The thought seared across his heart, and he swallowed hard.

"Commander," Tuvok said softly. He had slightly shifted his stance in Chakotay's direction, obviously noting his discomfort.

"Then we have no other choice," Chakotay said. The words rang in his head, echoed across the room and perhaps across the universe, words that were so similar, yet so different, from those that Kathryn had spoken to him.

Then you leave me no choice.

But he did have a choice, he reminded himself. They all did. Including Kathryn.

And Ransom.

Chakotay pushed his fingers roughly through his hair, feeling his eyes darken, knowing the pain that must be projecting across his face.

"Then we need to make a choice," he amended softly. "Do we let her continue down this path? Or do we move in and stop her?"

"Commander, the decision is yours." Somehow, Tuvok's words stung. Perhaps Chakotay should have felt relieved or even pleased that Tuvok was willing to yield authority to him, especially when there was no command structure to justify the decision at the moment. But he merely felt the bite of responsibility, the weight of what he was about to give up—no matter what choice he ultimately made.

"I would value your input," he managed to say through clenched teeth.

"I believe the probable ramifications of her decisions make the choice clear," Tuvok said. "She is willing to commit murder just to right a wrong. Her logic is thoroughly unsound." Chakotay felt his hand slam onto his knee.

"This isn't about logic, Tuvok!" he hissed. "And I can't only look at the short term effects of this. There's more than just the here and now. When this is all over, I need to be able to live with myself. I need to be able to live with her. This isn't about taking away everything she's worked so hard for, everything she's sacrificed for all of us. This is about fixing this situation with Ransom and the Ankari. That's as far as I'm willing to go. I don't want to be captain of this ship, Tuvok. That's her job, and I won't take it from her."

"Commander," Tuvok said, and his voice projected patience above a thinly veiled layer of something else—disgust? contempt? pity? "I believe you are allowing your personal relationship with Captain Janeway to influence your command decisions."

"Tuvok," Chakotay growled.

"However," he continued, unperturbed, "safeguarding the lives of this crew and those from the Equinox is paramount. We must protect them."

"And perhaps we need to protect her," Chakotay said very softly. "From herself."

"Perhaps," Tuvok agreed, to Chakotay's surprise. "But that should not be our first priority."

"And when it's all over? What then?" he asked despondently. Tuvok didn't answer immediately, but Chakotay clearly discerned the flicker of doubt cross the Vulcan's serene face, and it made him sick to his stomach. He buried his face in his hands for a long moment, breathing heavily, feeling hot tears threaten.

"Commander," Tuvok said quietly.

Chakotay drew a final shuddering breath and raised his head to look directly, resolutely, at the man standing in front of him.

"Let's do this," he said, the rawness in his voice in stark contrast to the fierce determination that spurred his gait as he quickly stood and strode out of his quarters, Tuvok close behind.

To be continued...