Hey all, long time no see! DON'T HIT MEEEEE! I know, it's been way way waaaay too long to be decent, but I have been reaaaally lazy, so this is the first time I've sat down and started writing in a while. This is, I believe, the final installment in It Ain't a Wonderland. I hope you all have enjoyed the ride, and look forward to any and all reviews.

Sakura glanced up to see, to her surprise, the Cheshire Cat grinning eerily at her. She suddenly heard his voice in her ear, saying, "That was a nice display, you're in deep shit now."

Sakura couldn't help but agree as she watched the queen's face turn purple with rage. She swallowed as the queen raise a shaking hand to point at her, then said, "Arrest her!"

As the guards advanced and surrounded Sakura, spears all pointy and shiny and pointed right at her she was completely unable to form any other thought besides Uh oh.

Yeah. You can say that again. Inner, of course was of no help. (I/S/A Note: Oh no you didn't! Yes, actually I believe I just did. I shall enjoy ripping your newly grown balls off of you slowly and painfully. Heh heh…did I say of no help? I meant of great skill and knowledge. Damn straight.)

Come on, you got me into this mess; you must have some idea on how to get out of it! Shut up, I'm working on it! Well, work faster! Well, when you say it in that tone of voice…no, I don't think I will. Oh come on! Fine. I'm sorry, please come up with something. Oh very well. You see that play-doh? …yeah…Use it. AW HELLS NAW! I am not pissing off Bittersweetcrimson by ripping her ideas off. You're ripping off Masashi Kishimoto by merely existing in this fan made parody written by an unlicensed third party on a website not recognized by TV Tokyo and it's parent companies. …suck up. One of the best.

As Sakura continued to have a silent argument with Inner Sakura, the Cuards (I/S/A note: see what I did there? Shut up, slacker. I'm not a slacker! You're playing Pokemon as you write this and you take frequent breaks!...Back to the story) seized her arms and began to march her into the Palace of the Red Queen. Sakura slowly blinked back into reality and looked around her. She was being dragged down a red painted hall way, with red marble pillars, her feet skimming along fluffy red carpet, while servants garbed in red outfits stared at the procession from doorways. I think someone likes red…No shit.

They reached the end of the corridor, halting at tall red metal doors decorated with carved figures of stick figures with heart shaped heads and oddly disproportionate bodies. The doors swung open at their approach, opening onto…a court?

The room was at least 100 feet long, and a quarter that wide. The décor followed that of the rest of palace, that is: red, red, RED. The ceiling arched high overhead, with white spires twisting under a blood red ceiling in strange and disorienting designs. As each of the white spires approached the wall, they seemed to fall into an arch, turning into a thicker column upon reaching the floor. The floor was diamond patterned marble, alternating between white and red marble, interrupted down the center by the thick red carpet down which Sakura was currently being dragged.

Sakura shivered despite herself. This place is creepy she thought. She had a point, there were no windows, and right next to what could be considered the witness box was a huge ass guillotine covered in blood stains. Okay, I don't think we want to be called up to the witness stand Inner murmured to Sakura. No kidding. It took the guards over a minute to drag Sakura down the carpet to the defendants stand, seeing as she wasn't helping them move her, instead just letting her legs drag behind her like a rag doll.

As the Cuards propped Sakura up onto the defendants booth, Sasori came out from behind a tapestry with a large trumpet. He gave one off key toot, and announced, "All rise for the honourable Queen slash Judge Konan."

At once, the courtroom was filled with an assortment of humanoid and animaloid figures (I/S/A note: Animaloids? Really? Is that best you can do? Well what am I supposed to call them? Animals, maybe? Bah.). Even Sakura, with her ninja senses could not figure out where they all came from. From behind a different tapestry, which wasn't there when Sakura first entered the courtroom, Konan swept in and sat in a huge judges chair, which also seemed to have appeared out of thin air.

She banged a large gavel, and the already silent courtroom became even quieter. "We are here today to try, then sentence and execute one…er…what was your name again?"

"Sakura?" Sakura said confusedly.

"Right, try, then sentence and execute one Sakura for the crime of beating the Queen of Hearts in a game of croquet."

"Hear hear!" Cried the assembled menagerie of spectators.

"Now wait a minute!" Sakura cried out.

"Silence!" cried the Queen, and Sakura received a hard whack on the back of the head. "Nobody being tried is allowed to speak while in the defendants box! Two demerits!"

Demerits? What is this, scout camp? Beats me, Inner shrugged.

"First witness!" Sasori cried out.

From the crowd came Kakuzu.

Oh no, Sakura thought with a groan. Not this guy again. Seems like it, Inner said, fighting back a laugh.

"State your name and your relationship to the defendant." Sasori said, examining his fingernails with some low amount of interest.

"Kakuzu, and I'm the defendants accountant."

Sakura sputtered in shock, and received another firm whack from her Cuard.

"Accountant?" the Queen said in interest. "You mean she pays taxes?"

"No your Majesty," Kakuzu said imperiously. "She already owes me 500 thousand for my services, with interest, of course, and she hasn't paid any of it!"

A shocked gasp went through the people/animals watching, and they all turned to glare at Sakura.

"Do you have anything to say about this assertion?" Konan asked Sakura coldly.

"Well…ouch!" Sakura was hit once more.

"No talking from the defendant!" Konan growled at her.

Oh this is so not fair. You're telling me.

"Is that it?" Konan was asking Kakuzu.

"Yes," he said boredly.

"Very well, you may go."

Kakuzu hopped off the witness stand and wandered off into the crowd.

"Next witness!" cried Sasori.

A silence permeated the crowd.

"I said, next witness!"

Silence.

"Anybody?"

"Hn."

Sakura groaned at the sound. She knew that sound.

Slowly, very slowly, a small form wormed…excuse me, made its way through the gathered forms to approach the witness stand. It climbed up one side and perched on the edge of the witness stand, plain for all to see.

"Name and relation to the defendant?" Sasori said, back to his nails.

"Itachi."

"Relationship?"

"Not likely."

"No, I mean, how do you know the defendant?"

"I don't."

"...Then why are you here?"

"Because I give her advice." At this Itachi pulled out his purple nail polish and began to polish his fingernails.

"So…you do know the defendant."

"Not in the slightest."

"Alright, someone get him out of here."

As the Cuards took Itachi away, he murmered to Sakura, "I warned you to keep your temper."

Sakura glared at him as he passed. Some help that was. Hn. Itachi? Is that you? No, but gotcha! Ha ha ha.

"Let's continue to the next witness." Sasori said, still a bit thrown off by Itachi.

"Oh, oh! That's Tobi! That's Tobi!" a loud voice squealed excitedly.

"Contrariwise," another voice spoke up. "It is my turn, yeah."

"Just, one or both you come up," Sasori said tiredly. "Lets just get this over with."

And out came Tweedle- Dei and Tweedle- Dumb. Surprise surprise.

"Names?" Sasori obviously was done with the whole affair.

"I'm Tweedle-Dei, yeah, and this is..."

"Tobi's name is Tobi!"

"No, stupid, you're Tweedle-Dumb!"

"Senpai, why are you so meeeaannn?"

With that Tobi ran off crying. Tweedle-Dei rolled his eyes and skipped off, presumably to go comfort him, but you never know with those two.

"Compelling evidence," Konan murmered, and the crowd agreed.

Sakura groaned. Everyone here was completely INSANE.

"Who is the next witness, Sasori?" The queen demanded.

Sasori read his name off the list, and the crowd gasped.

"And what do you have to say?"

"She stole the identity of my maid, and destroyed my home." Sasori said.

"Did not!" Whack.

"Shocking, just shocking." Konan said, shaking her head. "Next witness!"

"Um, she's dead your majesty, you chopped off her head."

"Oh…next next witness!"

"He's not here."

"what? Why not?"

"He's getting a piercing."

"Oh, he figured out why a raven's like a writing desk?"

"Yes. Apparently Poe wrote on both."

"Oh…huh."

"Yes, and that was our last witness."

"Excellent, does the defendant have anything to say on her behalf?"

"Well…ouch!"

"That is your final warning! No speaking on the witness stand!"

"Now," Konan raised herself up, "I shall confer with the jury and rule on your guilt…The jury is in, and you are guilty."

Sakura, without even being able to say one thing, was dragged out of the defendants box, and over to the large guillotine.

"Any last words?" The queen asked her, tugging on a executioners hood.

"Yes, since I'm not in the defendants box, I'm now allowed to speak."

The queen paused. "Yes, I suppose that's true."

"Just answer one question."

"Very well."

"What do the red clouds mean?"

"You know what they mean."

"No I don't!" Sakura protested.

"Yes you do, it means it's getting late." With that, the queen tugged on the rope and Sakura woke up.

She sat up from where she lay, looking around in shock. She was sitting under a tall oak tree in the fire country.

…A dream…? Seems like it, stupid. Shut up.

She got up shakily, and dusted herself off. She glanced up to see a orange sky with brilliant red clouds drifting into the horizon. Sunset.

The End.

Well, there you have it. Mystery solved, all is well. Now, I command you, REVIEW!