She had the sort of beauty that lasted through the ages, with her dark, beautiful curves and superb structure. She certainly towered over him, especially with the stuffed vulture perched on top, but it certainly didn't seem as if she were compensating for lacking in other departments.

"So, my dear," the Sorting Hat said with as little leer as possible as he sidled up close to her, "do you pop up often on boggarts?"

The hat said nothing in reply, and the vulture seemed to glare down at him with beady eyes. It made the Sorting Hat shiver with a dark thrill as he dared to gently caress her brim.

Tall, dark, and silent.

Hahah! Did he know how to pick his women or what?

AUTHOR's NOTES: My roommate and I came up with this while randomly going through lists of characters for crack!pairings. And, uh, there may or may not be a whole slew of almost!drabbles between these two in the future.