Well, I am quite sorry for a long absents from this story. I have promised to finish it. And so I have. Just a small side not though, and usually I don't do these kinds of things, reviews. I am sure many writers on this lovely site have mentioned them before. But what I'd like to mention is Incentives. Reviews are like drugs and writers are junkies. If you want a writer to work then dangling some reviews will do just that. We're here, or I am at least, for the immediate satisfaction.

The pick me up of my day, is reading the lovely reviews everyone sends. The more reviews the more hyped I get.

So my lovely little drug dealers, pass me a review or two and you'll get something quite amazing. I promise.

10 years, an unimaginable amount of time to lose. Even looking back through the records there was no noticeable notion that warranted a ten year loss of memory. Tsunade had poured over Iruka's file for nearly four hours, reviewing what she'd already known, the unremarkable him. She then moved onto his medical file looking for any reason whatsoever for his sudden lack of memory, and just as there hadn't been an hour prior there still was no brain damage of any kind. She looked and looked but there was simply nothing but the odd swirling of his charka and that could be easily explained as recovering and healing of damaged pathways. She had exhausted all possible reasons from Justus down to head trauma.

To make matters worse the council was now breathing down her neck. She had moved the entire village to rescue a chunin teacher, nearly costing the lives of half her men, and if the reports about Naruto were true, unleashed a demon that nearly devoured her men and the enemy. From reports it had been sheer luck and the sacrifice of a Rock nin that had tamed the beast's rage. The remains of the invading force had grabbed their wounded and whatever was left of their dead and retreated quickly. Now Rock was calling for compensation for the lost lives and the council wasn't at all happy. They wanted to lay blame onto Naruto for losing control, but after reading Kakashi and Naruto's very thorough report on everything, the blame could not solely be laid on him. Iruka had been the trigger, somehow purposely unleashing the demon by faking his own death that much was sure. But for what? The council demanded the answer as much as she did. This brought her back to the scroll Kakashi had given her when he'd barely made it back alive through the gates with Iruka's to cold body. It laid open with neatly written letters.

Hokage,

Nearly four months ago I was given a mission to retrieve a scroll containing valuable information from the hidden ninja village Rock. Upon retrieving the scroll I realized my potential capture. I have without permission read, memorized and destroyed the scroll. The contents of this scroll are dimmed level 1 Hokage clearance.

It's unlikely that I will make it back alive and have already taken steps to ensure that this information does not fall into anyone else's hands but yours. I ask for your forgiveness for acting on my own but due to the very nature of what I have learned I could only find this as the solution.

With luck I hope to return,

Umino Iruka.

And that was it. Nothing else, no clue as to what steps he took or how to get the info from him should he have fallen. A knock on the door brought her out of her frustrating musing.

"Come," she called shortly.

The door swung open allowing a very tired Yamanaka Inoichi to slip in. The man had been working with Iruka to regain the lost memories for the last six days. The two locked up in the hospital room with no one allowed to enter until they were done. Inoichi dropped into the straight back chair with a mighty sigh. Tsunade gave him time to rest while she continued to pour over the reports from Sakura and Hinata. "Nothing," the man's tired voice pulled her back. "Absolutely nothing."

"You couldn't find any block?" Tsunade asked, "Kakashi's report says there was a green light of a Justus."

"Hokage with all due respect. If it had been a Justus we would have found it immediately or at least in the last month. There is no Justus that I know that can go completely undetected for this long," Inoichi huffed rolling his shoulders, "There is just nothing Hokage. No sign, no trace, the landscape in his mind shows nothing either."

"Mind Landscape?"

"Yes Hokage, we all have one. Umino's is a massive forest with shelves built into the tree. Quite literally it is a forest library. With no end and no beginning. I walked for hours at one time pulling out books and scrolls. Some of them were filled with writing, others just empty. I can't even find the place he hides, and I've tried! Even ordered him to show himself," Inoichi leaned forward banging her desk, "He has not helped one bit besides letting me enter and read. Who knows if I'm reading the real stuff or just stuff he put there to distract me."

Tsunade sighed leaning back heavily in her chair. She rubbed at her eyes. "Hyuga, Hatake, You," she thrust her hand out before dropping it to her lap. "Dead ends everywhere. The council is saying I should turn him over to Donzo. To interrogate. Or hand him over to Ibiki. That man has already been through so much. Now they want to just be like our enemies and force information out of him."

"I'm sure everyone has asked you this before Hokage," Inoichi started then looked down at his hands resting on his knees. He flexed them nervously before looking at her straight. "But is the information really that important?"

Tsunade had sensed the question coming. She'd been asked it by everyone. She rocked to her feet and paced a few steps stopping at the window that over looked the village. The faces of the monument looking down at her as if asking the same question, How important is the information? She ran through the facts.

The mission was originally assigned to Hatake Kakashi. An S-class nin that was borderline Hokage. Rock had used both of their best interrogators. Rock had mobilized a huge force to retrieve the escaped Umino, who had apparently memorized level one Hokage clearance information. Of the information they already knew about the scroll, it could be determined that many villages and high powered individuals could be in trouble. Among the possible names were most likely hers and the village.

"It," she begun licking her lips as if the words themselves were as bitter as the feelings swirling inside her. "It could be the difference between a village's survival and the death of political heads. This is all we know."

The words sat heavy in the air, weighing down the room in a difficult decision. They'd taken the nice approach, now it was time for the rough. Umino had meant something to this village, more than he could possible realize. Now he meant everything, their survival, their way of life, their very future was all resting somewhere in his mind.

Iruka could feel something brewing. Something dark and frightening lurking somewhere close by. He tried to sense it with his chakra but any use made him unbearably dizzy. The last month or so had been filled with people poking and prying at his brain. Demanding knowledge he didn't have or was somehow lost. He tried to remember, he honestly did. He'd read the copies of the reports but nothing spark. There was a void, a huge gap that left him feeling somehow empty.

He thought back once again to what memory he could remember. A memory apparently 10 years old where an old aged man was asking for his return to duty. He could recall the smell of the tobacco smoke as it mixed with the sweet tea the Hokage was so fond of. He could still taste the biscuits covered in chocolate butter and the sounds of Jiji a room over grumbling at the unwelcome intrusion. Then nothing. It just went black. Iruka sighed for the umpteenth time and took a sip of cool water.

His door slid open; apparently people now had forgotten how to knock. Iruka didn't bother to look at who it was, instead turned his head to the window. "Umino," the hard voice was something he was becoming accustomed to.

"Hokage," he replied smoothly. This was not the Hokage he remembered. Not the feeble man with tired but wise eyes. Not the gentle father figure for orphans and abandon children. It was a hard woman, young in appearance but well-aged in her aura.

"Inoichi tells me you haven't been quite helpful," The door slid shut followed by the creaking of the chair next to him. She had taken a sit and was already pouring herself a glass of water. "I don't have to remind you of what's going to happen if you don't cooperate."

"I know, and I have been. I've put up with all your invasions. But I can't help. I don't know how to help. It's all just blank." Iruka protested turning to look at her. His next complaints died in his throat as he took in the tired woman before him. Her eyes showed desperation though it was carefully hidden behind her cool façade. Her shoulders were lower than usual but her back still straight and dignified. She was at the end of her rope.

"You could be more helpful," she said through a sip.

"I have been. I looked, I showed, I shared but Hokage there is nothing. Just a gap," He pleaded. Quiet suddenly filled the room. For once the noises of the hospital were gone, as if afraid to disturb this moment. The Hokage continued to sip at her water as if hoping that'll help her next words float out. Her face tensed and her eyes shimmered for just the briefest second before smoothing again into the leader look.

"They've asked me to turn you over to Ibiki, or Donzo. They want to pry this information out of you one way or another," She began slowly carefully picking out each word. "I moved an entire village to get you back. Risked the peace we worked so hard at, nearly brought war to our still recovering lands." She stood placing the cup on the side table. "Four of my best nins infiltrated a powerful ninja village. Risked their lives to free you. Rushed and carried you across countries, fighting whatever came to claim you. They barely made it back to the village. One of them is still recovering from chakra depletion. Another still in mental shock from having watched you died only to find out you were still alive." She began to pace the room. "And you tell me, you can't remember any of it. Not a damn thing." She stopped at the window. "I know the information you memorized is deeply important to the survival of not just our village, but that of our allies. That contained somewhere in that head of yours is information that could lead to destruction and death of thousands." The afternoon sun danced across her pale skin highlighting the wrinkles of her age. "Now I'm left with a difficult choice." She turned to him, her pale green eyes drilling into his browns. "One life for a thousand, or a thousand for one life?"

The weight of those words dropped on him. The true meaning settled into his soul and chilled him to the bone. His life was nothing to that of the village. He knew it, she knew it. There was only one option, turn him over to be torn apart. It was like a child breaking open their piggy bank. The piggy bank wasn't as important as the money inside. "You'll do what you have to," he said, feeling as if he had just signed his own death certificate.

Hokage gave a bitter smile laughing a mirthless laugh, "I hate this world. Why couldn't I have been a civilian? Why do I have to decide the lives of men and children?" She looked back at the village she loved and hated. "Why couldn't I have died during the war? Why did I even take up this post?" She closed her eyes taking in a deep breath. "I don't like what's happen. One stupid mistake. One small oversight. And now look where we are." She waved a hand. "If only that scroll had gone to the right man. If only you'd gotten away in the first place. If only I'd paid better attention. We wouldn't be here." She moved back to the chair dropping into it heavily. "Why?" It was a weak sound. "Why?" She dropped her head into her hands.

A shuttering breath. "When I was younger, I'd look at the backs of my father and grandfather and be so proud as they fought for our village. When I became a ninja I was over joyed and proud that I could join their ranks and protect my home. I poured every ounce of myself into learning ninjutsu and medical techniques to protect." Her fingers clutched at her hair. Clumps poking out through the gaps and palms nestled against her eyes. "Then I lost my brother to an assassination. My lover died in the mites of battle. My grandfather, my father, my teacher. Suddenly all my knowledge to protect and heal meant nothing. I lost my way, for a time. Then came back and promised to right myself and protect the last thing I have. My home. This village, that has taken from me and yet given me so much."

Her hands slide down her face until they settled over her mouth and her eyes looked up through her bangs at him. She leaned back dropping her hands into her lap. "I don't know you Umino, not much beyond the papers in your files and stories men and women tell me. I don't know what you're capable of, or how hard your life as a child was after the fox attack. I don't know why you quit being a ninja so long ago. Or why so many people would risk their lives for you. I don't understand why a child, who was hated so much growing up, loves you like a father. Or why you in turn cared for a demon when no one else would. I don't know you," She let her head tilt to the right slightly, as if this new angle would shed new light on him. "What I do know, is that a young man loves you like a father. A village would fight for you. Men and women respect you. That your life was not easy. That you are a devious man who tricked an enemy into freeing you then subsequently led them to their deaths. And that you have information I need. Not want Umino but need. And that they," she pointed to the window, "Out there, somewhere. People are looking for that information and will stop at nothing." She bit the word sharply, "Will stop at nothing to get it. They would risk war." Her eyes drilled into his and then suddenly his head was in her hands. Her forehead mere inches from his. Her voice was low just above a hiss, and fast as she pelted him with even sharper words. "I don't care anymore Iruka. Whether your mind stays in tack or your body break, it doesn't matter to me. To protect this village, to protect this home, to protect the legacy of those that have died protecting their families. I will stop at nothing. You will either help me. Or I will tare you a part until I have what I need. Naruto or this village be damn, I will do anything it takes to protect them. Anything." Her eyes darted back and forth between each of his. "Now you can really help me Iruka. Really help me." Her fingers were digging into his skull holding his head in place. "You can stop thinking damn them all, and I'm not a ninja anymore. You can stop believing that you don't play a part, that you don't have a roll because it's not true. Hasn't been true for the last ten years Iruka. You're a cog in the machine and you can either be a cog in the war machine that destroys this village or one that protects it. I'm asking you right now, Ninja to Ninja, Demon to Demon, Man to Man, Protector to Protector. Help me." Her forehead touched his. Her fingers dug deep. "Help me or be taken a part." Her breath was a pant, her eyes frantic. Desperation and resolve coating each word as she clutched him, bruised him. Finally after several long seconds she pulled back slipping into the chair. Her breath returning to normal. She picked up the jug of water and poured a glass then two and three, drinking each cup as if it were her last. Then finally she just sat there, staring out the window. The silence so thick and heavy.

Seconds ticked by into minutes and just as it seemed an hour would toll Iruka spoke. Softly at first then gaining strength. "I..love this village and at the same time I hate it." He felt her eyes on him but he was looking down at his clenched hands tangled in the white bed sheets. "I've lost everything too, Tsunade." Her name sounded odd coming from him, "Lost friends and family. Was betrayed and rescued. Used and forgotten. But I didn't care because I knew this village needed me, somehow someway. When I quit being a ninja I realized I'd lost my purpose. For a year I had tried to find something else to do but nothing stuck. You can't simply forget what it was like to be a ninja, what it's like to survive a hopeless mission or succeed in protecting your home. You can't forget it no matter how hard you try. And I tried Hokage." Iruka fell silent. Then looked up at her. His eyes so hard and the feelings behind them so strong. "It's a justsu." Tsunade sat a little straighter. "I must have performed it at the last second. Must have prepared it beforehand too. I used it often after missions. The last time I remember using it is after I quite being a ninja."

"A Justus. What does it do?"

"Erase memory."

"But there was nothing in anything…"

"It was taught to me by an old man. He's dead. Died before he could teach me to undo it."

"How does it work?"

Iruka paused, he's eyes dancing back and forth. Trying to remember the details but found it to be missing. "Gone."

"What?"

"It's gone. The memory of learning it and of how it works. I just know it's a justsu I alone can perform."

"Gone." The little hope she'd been feeling dissipated.

"But If I used it again, that means I had found a way to unlock memories. So there is hope Hokage. I just don't know how to go about it yet. That's what I've been trying to do. What I've been trying to remember this entire time. How to undo what I did. Because I love this village Tsunade," Iruka's eyes grew harder and filled with determination. "I'm willing to break myself. To destroy my mind and body because I want to protect. Because I want to safe guard what was passed onto me by my father and mother. What the third passed onto me. I want to protect the will of fire and the future, Tsunade. And I." He shifted pulling the blanket from his legs as he struggled to stand. She stood too, reaching out to steady him. He grabbed her forearms with as much strength as he could muster. "Will stop at nothing. Absolutely nothing until I know. Without a shadow of a doubt that my home, my friends and all those I care for are safe." She could feel the slight rocking coming from him as he tried to stay on his feet. "So you shouldn't be asking me for help Hokage. I should be asking you. Please, forgive me for hiding it. For lying to you, but I beg you. Help me right what I wrong and I vow." He rock dangerously before stilling and in the strongest voice she'd ever heard he promised, "To give my soul, my body, my life to this village. Ninja to Ninja, Demon to Demon, Man to Man, Protector to Protector. I promise."

The End

The evil of me. But the seconds are already in the works my dear drug dealing friends. So please. Give me a shout out. I'm going through withdraws!

Petague Killaboo