Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the story idea and only some of the witty remarks. I own so little; so please don't steal.

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Dual

"I'm bored."

"So'm I. Let's…"

"…get out of class? Yup."

So the winded professor was thoroughly startled when two of his students, who had been sitting slumped in their seats only moments before, fell out of their chairs and complained simultaneously about horrid stomachaches and that they had to go to the infirmary or else something bad was sure to happen. Their classmates were looking at them with disinterest or exasperation, but before winded professor could say anything about it, the twins had already gotten to the door and snatched a pair of hall passes, promising to return if the nurse had considered them alright.

"So now we're out, let's…"

"Explore this place." Chuckling, Sameneric sauntered down the deserted hallway, swinging their hall passes triumphantly back and forth. They had been at this school since they could remember, but it was still big enough that they had yet to finish their map of the damn institution. They had the complete south wing and west wing drawn out, with every crevice drawn in loving detail (it would be their gift to the upcoming middle schoolers, this map to which every hiding place was revealed, a nonmagical Marauder's Map), but they had yet to climb up the bell tower (forbidden for anyone below seventh year) and past the roped off areas. So they made their way across campus, throwing the possibility that winded professor might see them to the wind.

"You think there'll be any dead bodies?"

"Hidden in the chapel? That'll be wicked."

They were taking a shortcut through the primary building to avoid passing the headmaster's office when Sam suddenly tackled Eric into an empty classroom. A pair of teachers was walking past, consumed with their conversation, but would surely tell them off, with their middle school uniforms, for being in this part of campus. As Sam stared out the door with careful quiet, Eric turned back into the classroom.

"Sam, who's that?"

"Who's who?"

Eric pointed to the corner, where a dark mass was huddled, clearly asleep on a small desk. Sam wrinkled his nose, turning back to the door, the mystery obviously not interesting enough for him. "It's Roger."

"Roger?"

"Yeah. Can't mistake that hair. All over the place, like an animal."

Eric walked closer, but it was indeed Roger, hunched over the desk, napping away in the primary classroom full of stuffed animals and colorful letters. Sam made an irritated sound and inched toward the door. "I'll keep a lookout and you make sure Roger doesn't wake up."

"He would probably tell on us."

"Yeah, he would, to get us in trouble."

"He loves getting us in trouble." Sam gave his twin one last glance before peeking out the classroom and darting away to look around the corner. Eric kept his eyes at the door, before tearing them away finally and walking closer to Roger.

On a normal basis, a middle schooler, an eighth grader, would not know a high school junior, but the school's church choir had done its job of uniting a small group of different aged boys. Sameneric had met quiet, feisty Simon and easily-riled-up Merridew through the program and became friends with Ralph. It was a rather useless old thing they went to, but their mum had wanted them to sing, so they sang.

Even in the sandy colored high school uniform sweater, Roger remained as shadowy as ever. If Eric didn't concentrate, he could have sworn Roger wasn't even breathing. He and Sam had speculated that even if he wore neon yellow, Roger would still blend in easily in the dark. What was an older student doing here, never mind that they weren't supposed to be there either? Forgetting that Roger would probably rat them out and squirm out of trouble himself, Eric put out his arm with all the intention of waking Roger and asking him what he was doing there.

"Eric! The kindergarten just passed! Let's go!" Sam glanced into the room and out again and Eric quickly shot back his hand. Roger grumbled in his sleep and shifted slightly, but Eric had already run out of the classroom and followed Sam toward the church.

--

"Jackson…alright, here…" Jack, being head choir boy, had the responsibility of taking attendance and having everyone in the choir room on time before the grandmother pianist came to play for them. "So the only ones missing is Ralph and Simon. Has anyone seen them?"

"Ralph left early after last class," Sameneric chimed together.

"Ralph is the blonde one right?" a sixth grader asked, quickly hiding his eyes to avoid anyone staring at him for his ignorance. "He came into homeroom after school and told Simon to come with him. He left with him. With Ralph, I mean."

Jack looked visibly upset. "They knew they had practice today. Where did they go?"

"Maybe they went on a date," Roger chimed in, to which a large portion of the choir dissolved in giggles. Jack flushed at the suggestion, rounding on his friend, who smirked at him. "It's completely possible, you know."

"Date," Jack spat, looking livid at the thought of it.

"Yeah, you know, when two people go out and spend time together and one of them usually buys the other chocolate or flowers and then at the end, they mack with each other for a couple of minutes. A date." The choir's chortles increased and Jack threw the attendance book on a nearby chair.

"Mention that ever again, Roger, and I'm kicking you from the choir."

"No!" With mock concern, Roger grabbed the twins. "I can't be separated from my twin harem!" Sam laughed as Jack fumed elsewhere, turning to Eric to see his brother pink in the face about having Roger's arm around his shoulders and he let out another bark like laugh at the sight.

--

For a boys school, Valentine's Day was quite a big deal. The teachers felt like pretending to know the times, decorating classrooms with odd bits here and there and handing out candy. Boys who had girlfriends (and boys who claimed they had girlfriends) insisted they had to leave early to take them out. Sameneric walked toward the front gate at the end of the day and caught sight of Jack and Roger. Simon, with his placid smile, was holding out a small wrapped, dainty box out to Jack, who was acting uncharacteristically flustered.

"What's up?" Sam asked loudly. Eric paired the question with a knowing grin.

"Oh, you know," Roger said, equally as loudly, "it's Valentine's Day."

"Ceremonial gift giving," Ralph supplemented, standing behind Simon with a conspirator grin on his face and his hands in his pockets. Simon kept his eyes on the ground, a slight blush on his face to match Jack's. "You know, Jack, if you won't accent Simon's feelings, I'll take that chocolate."

"Don't be a wanker," Jack shot, grabbing the box out of Simon's hands. At this, Simon back away slowly before turning on his heels and sprinting away. Ralph sighed, rolling his eyes in good humor.

"You'd better treat that chocolate right," the blonde laughed as he turned to chase after the sixth grader, who was gaining respectable ground.

"Don't laugh," Jack shouted as Roger and Sameneric suppressed their chuckles as they stared at him. "Shut up!" Quickly pocketing the provoking chocolate, Jack punched Roger in the arm. "What about you, huh? Who do you like?"

"Oh, it should be obvious. I love the twins, of course!" Gathering both fourteen-year-olds in his arms, Roger gave both of them a sloppy kiss on the cheek. "Of course I've been smitten with the both of them since they joined choir. Getting them in trouble is my flirtation technique. It's rather good, isn't it?" Sam whooped as he wrestled his way out of Roger's grip, but Eric seemed frozen in place. "Who wouldn't like the twins?"

"I didn't know you swung that way," Jack said, anger replaced with amusement and half relief that the attention was off of him. "Anyway, it seems that Sam…no, Eric?...wouldn't mind that at all."

"Don't worry chum, I'm bi just like you," Roger assured him, although he was studying Eric with interest. The twin, previously frozen with mortification, seemed to jolt back to his senses. "Is that right, Eric?" A rather sadistic grin was crossing Roger's face.

"Don't mind him, Eric!" Whizzing to the rescue, Sam quickly pulled Eric away, jostling his flushed twin along. "There are tons of girls out there that we've got to charm today, no need wasting our time on Roger of all people!"

"Yes, definitely," Eric chimed and followed his brother, not turning around to see the scheming look on Roger's face as his eyes followed them out.

--

"I don't think I ever told you why I like twins," Roger said one day during recess after he found the two hiding in the bushes outside the headmaster's office with firecrackers in their hands. He had steered them away toward the upper school grounds and had settled them, both restless, under a tree like a lecturing father. "It's just that they look the same and act the same, you know? It's like having double. No one person can be good enough if you can have two."

"Yes, alright, now can we leave?" Sam asked impatiently, disliking the vulnerable look Eric was giving Roger. "We've got…"

"…lots of things to do," Eric finished, although his voice was softer than his brother's. If so, Roger looked even more confident.

"I like you in pairs," he concluded. "It just wouldn't be the same any other way."

Roger talked too much, Sam thought to himself. People who didn't know Roger well would think he didn't talk at all, but that was the same mistake they made with Simon. Anyone who knew Simon (cough, Jack, cough) would know you had to go to lengths to shut him up. The same with Roger; except Roger was creepier because sometimes he talked and looked at you like he wanted to eat you. He supposed he ought to be grateful the attention wasn't toward him, but it wasn't any better toward Eric.

"If you're done playing with us," Sam said loudly to jolt them out of their thoughts, "we'll be leaving now. I'm sure you can bother Jack. I thought I saw him lingering outside the sixth grade wing."

"Really?" The promise of blackmail was a strong incentive to Roger. He darted up at once and made his way toward the middle school building. Sam pulled Eric to his feet and quickly had a talk with his brother as they got out the firecrackers out again.

"Don't listen to Roger, Eric. He talks too much. Right? Don't listen to him."

"I'm not. You got the matches?"

"I got them right here?"

"You ready?"

"I was born ready. Let's do this!"

--

Roger's punishment for knocking over the pile of song sheets (and making a quip about how far Jack had gotten with Simon, to which Ralph said he wanted to know too) was to clean up the choir room after school. There was really nothing to do; the dark boy sorted through the music and straightened up the chairs and meant to leave. When he turned, a twin stood in the doorway.

"Ah, it's you." Roger straightened up. "What can I do for you, Eric?"

"It's Sam." Sam closed the door behind him, watching Roger carefully. "I came to talk to you about Eric."

"Right?" Roger leaned up against the piano, a light smile on his face. "What about?"

"Are you playing with him? You shouldn't." A pause. "He likes you, you know."

Roger shrugged noncommittally. "I know."

"So you shouldn't be telling him strange things. Or messing around with us. It was completely fine when it was still normal."

Roger was quiet for a moment, before beckoning Sam closer. The twin came forward slowly, uncertainly. "Now tell me why I should hold back everything," he said, reaching out and pulling Sam closer, "when I meant what I said? I like twins." Tapping the boy's chin up, Roger kissed him with a smirk. "I don't care if I make your brother insanely jealous. But I don't think he really cares about me in that way. Right, Eric?" When the twin stared up at him, a scattering of red across his cheeks, Roger chuckled. "I can tell you apart, you know. And you blushed like a girl when you said 'Eric' liked me."

"I did not."

"You did." Roger sank down into a chair and pulled Eric with him. "What's wrong? Courage gone without your brother?"

"That's not…" Eric squirmed as Roger kissed his jawline, the older boy pulling him flush close. "What if someone finds us?"

"Please," Roger scoffed in between tastes of the nervous twin's skin, feeling Eric's hands rest on his shoulders. "If there should be anyone worrying about anything, it should be Jack. It's basically rape the way he pines after Simon."

"Yes, but…"

"Oh hush." There was a dark glint in Roger's eyes that made Eric gulp. "You really shouldn't have come without Sam. It's much more dangerous this way." There was a low rumble of a chuckle in Roger's throat. "But it's consensual, isn't it? Because you like me?"

Eric opened his mouth to protest but was not nearly fast enough before Roger descended on him, stealing the very words from his mouth.

Owari

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Note: Before you go out screaming to the authorities, before any clothes got off, Jack found them and had a row with Roger as Eric escaped. I don't even care if anyone is OOC anymore. In this AU, everyone is OOC. I mean, Simon actually talks for god's sake. I probably shouldn't like Roger/Sameneric. But the hell with that. I think that's actually pretty cool. Roger's such a pimp. Review, please, if you find that last comment amusing or anything, actually.