Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds, but I so wish I did...

I know I shouldn't be starting another story with 4 already on the go, but I just had to get this out! I've finished studying till September, so my aim is to update one of the stories every few days. Sound fair?

I originially wrote this as a CSI story, but I couldn't get it to work so now it's a CM fic!

Thank you DarkBard0 for her awesome betaing, her constant support and for being my inspiration.

Enjoy!

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After paying and thanking the taxi driver, Jennifer Jareau walked along the pavement of her house. Swaying from side to side, she suddenly felt her legs go from beneath her, and before she knew it she was on the ground.

"Whoopsie," she whispered as she gradually managed to get up with the help from the woman that she had picked up for the night. A woman she couldn't even remember the name of.

"Woah, are you okay there?"

"Yeah, i'm fine. Let's just get inside."

She pulled her arm away from the woman, though still not feeling steady on her feet. She looked down at her dark navy jeans and her light blue shirt and wiped the dirt off that had arisen from the fall. Finally reaching her destination, she fumbled in her bag for her keys; finally finding them, all she had to do was unlock the door. After several attempts of putting the key in the key-hole, she successfully made it into her home. Knocking over a picture of a 2 year-old Henry as she entered, JJ put her finger to her mouth and shushed as she giggled, gesturing the woman inside the house. Tossing her keys on the side table (which she missed), she staggered through the living room, undressing as she did so, heading for living room, not even turning around to check whether her guest was following her or not. She didn't need to look, they always followed her. JJ had that magnetic pull to her.

JJ had gone to work earlier that day only to be sent home again. She couldn't believe that Hotch had the audacity to send her home. So she was a little hung-over from the night before; she was just a single woman looking for a bit of fun. But she had felt all eyes on her as she had walked into the briefing room. She knew she looked a state; she knew she was pale; she also knew she had bloodshot eyes.

Today, JJ knew she had hit a new low. She had never turned up to work hung-over before and she had never been sent home for any reason. Not even when she had been ill, or she fit the victimology of a case. Hotch had raised his eyebrows at her as soon as she had walked in; well, staggered in, obviously surprised by what he was witnessing, a woman he usually had seen as strong. What stood in front of him was not the person Hotch thought he knew. Telling her that he finally had had enough of her behaviour, he had sent her home telling her he would be round to talk later, then sent her home in a cab.

She hadn't dared to look at Morgan, Reid and Rossi as she left. There was no doubt in her mind that they would be worried about her and maybe a tad disappointed. And she really didn't need that nor did she want it. She was dealing with things in her own way. Maybe not the right way, but it was her way of drowning out her demons.

Finally ridding herself of the last bit of clothing, JJ turned around to look at the woman she knew would only be a one night stand. She wasn't looking for a relationship, she just needed the release. It took her mind off of everything, even if it was only for a couple of hours. It was better than sitting in the house on her own, going through all her mistakes. Thinking about the things that she could have done differently. Yes; sex with a stranger was a much better option than that. A voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

JJ let out a groan. She looked the woman up and down. She was exactly her type; dark hair, nicely toned frame, a mysterious aura about her. It was always the type she went for, and she was never able to get away from that. If she let Hotch or Morgan know about that fact, they'd be able to profile the situation very quickly. After all, it was pretty obvious.

"Yes, I'm sure. Now come here."

The media liaison ordered softly, holding out a hand for the brunette. The stranger grabbed hold of it, and JJ pulled her towards her, against her body. Forcefully, she pushed the woman up against the wall, pressing her whole weight against her. JJ kissed the woman hard, grabbing her wrists and holding them up above her head. The stranger let her take control, letting the blonde do whatever she wanted.

Pressing hard against her, JJ brought her knee up to spread the other woman's legs, pressing hard against her core, eliciting a deep moan. Telling her to keep her arms in place, JJ ripped the brunette's shirt off of her, before lifting up her skirt so it was up around her waist. The media liaison stepped back, taking a minute to take in the other woman, and she groaned at what she saw. It was exactly what she needed.

A couple of years ago, she never would have done this. She had always thought a one night stand was dirty and didn't see the point in them. But it had all changed just over 14 months ago, and she couldn't get enough of them. Great sex without any commitment, what else could she want or need?

Stepping forward, JJ grabbed the other woman's arms, pulling her towards the couch. Lying down on it, the blonde pulled the brunette on top of her, revelling in the feeling of the weight on top of her. Her hands going in to the brunette's soft, long hair, JJ pulled her in to a hard, deep kiss. She could feel the other woman's hands exploring her body, her hands caressing her skin. Her tongue slipped past the strangers lips, moving against the brunette's own tongue.

"Mmmm...Emily..."

The brunette pulled back looking JJ in the eye, before hastily sitting up and getting off of her. The blonde watched as the woman grabbed her clothes that had been taken off. She turned back to JJ, a hint of sympathy in her eyes, but also a hint of sadness.

"The name's Sadie."

JJ let out a sigh, sitting up and running a hand through her hair. Sadie leaned down to kiss her before walking out of the house. She sat there for a couple of minutes just looking at the door, before she grabbed the blanket that was on the back of the couch, putting it around her naked body.

She lay back down on the couch, a cushion tucked under her head, as she looked up at the ceiling. She heard the padding of footsteps, before her Mom appeared above her, looking down at her daughter.

"Where have you been?"

She asked, her eyebrow raised in question. Shit, JJ thought, she'd forgotten that her Mom was in the house with Henry. She was supposed to have been home hours ago, but she didn't care, she had needed some time to herself.

"What's it to you Mom?"

"What's it to me?" Well, I've been looking after you son all day, and your boss, Hotchner is it, called round to talk to you, and I had to tell him that you weren't here. What the hell is going on Jennifer?"

Anger rose in JJ as she heard that name come from her Mom's lips. Only one person had ever called her that, and there was only one person she ever wanted to hear it from. She never liked it coming from anyone else.

"I don't think that's any of your damn business, Mom , and do not call me Jennifer."

JJ snapped back albeit a bit slurred. She knew she would regret snapping at her in the morning but at this very moment she couldn't give a toss. If she couldn't have sex, she just wanted to get some sleep.

"For crying out loud, Jen. What the hell is the matter with you? Do you want to lose your job? Is that it?"

Alison couldn't believe her daughter. Jennifer coming home drunk had apparently been a regular occurrence for the past 14 months. One of her daughter's friends, Garcia, had called her requesting her help so she had moved in with her only daughter for a little while, to be there to look after Henry while she was at work. But now, all JJ seemed to be doing was taking advantage and staying out at all hours when she should have been home with her son.

"I think it may be a little too late for that."

JJ sneered back, wanting the subject to be dropped. She was definitely not a happy drunk. Alison ran a hand through her short, grey locks becoming more and more frustrated with her daughter. She could smell the alcohol from where she stood.

"You need to sort yourself out, Jen. Don't you think this has been going on for too long as it is?"

Jennifer was just about ready to snap and she knew if her Mom didn't go away that she would do just that.

"I don't need my Mom telling me what I should and shouldn't be doing. I'm 34 for God's sake, I didn't even want you here."

The blonde glanced over at a clock and saw it had just turned 1:30am. She really was thinking about going back out and picking someone else up. She needed to get off, the pressure was building up inside her.

"Well, obviously someone needs too. This can't carry on, you're destroying yourself." Alison took a minute to think about her next question, and then it became clear. "Is this about Emily?" JJ's head snapped up at hearing Emily's name.

"No this is not fucking about Emily." JJ snarled putting her head back on the end of the sofa.

"Jen, it's okay to miss her ya'know?"

"Who said anything about missing her?"

JJ could feel her temper rising with every passing minute. Her Mom left for a couple of minutes before returning with a glass of water, slamming it on the table next to the couch.

"Drink!" Alison demanded, becoming more and more disgusted with how her daughter was behaving. JJ had never acted or been like this, not even as a teenager. It was a total turnaround from her usual self.

"Don't start, Mom."

"I said drink!"

Jennifer had finally had enough of her Mom going on at her and she snapped.

"FUCK OFF!"

JJ regretted it as soon as the two words left her mouth. Taking a look up at her Mom she could see the tears in her eyes before Alison turned away and walked out of the front door, grabbing her coat in the process. The blonde held her head as the door slammed behind her. Okay, so she would definitely regret that in the morning, but she really couldn't give a flying fuck right this moment. Sitting up on the couch she reached for the glass of water, bringing it to her mouth but at the last minute she changed her mind and tossed the glass against the photos on the wall. Two photos and a glass smashed into tiny little pieces.

JJ knew her Mom was only guilty of caring for her; hell the same went for everyone else too, but she really didn't want it. She didn't need to be mollycoddled. Maybe she could go back out, hit one of the clubs and find someone to fuck. Release some of the tension that had built up because of Hotch and her Mom. It would certainly make her feel better, just no strings attached sex, nothing had ever sounded better to JJ.

The media liaison slowly stood up, but thought against it when the room started spinning. So maybe it wasn't a good idea for her to go back out, and then she remembered Henry, and the fact that her Mom had left. She stood up again and slowly made her way to Henry's bedroom trying to be as quiet as possible, but knocking over a plant on the way. From the other side of the door she couldn't hear anything, so she hoped he was still fast asleep. She thought about going in and giving him a kiss but decided against it and turned away.

Staggering back into the living room, her head started to bang and she swore she was hallucinating. She could picture Emily standing right in front of her. It was just her mind playing tricks on her, she knew the brunette wasn't there. This had happened a few times before and JJ could only get the image out of her if she took her anger out. Yeah this is just what she needed, a hallucinated Emily ready for her to shout at, and the good thing was the fake brunette wouldn't argue back. She always felt better after for it too, sometimes it was better than sex. But it every time it was always the same things she needed to say, to get that release.

"I fucking hate you Emily Prentiss…….. you know that?"

Jennifer snarled, the hallucination that had been conjured up in her mind not saying anything, just ready to take the barrage of anger.

"You left me, you left me here to cope with everything on my own….." JJ's words were very slurred as she tried to compose herself. "You promised that you would always be there….well you fucking broke that promise."

"You know what hurt the most? The fact that you didn't even bother fighting…….. Didn't bother fighting for me or Henry. You said you loved me……what a pile of shit that is. If you loved me even the tiniest, bit you would still be here."

JJ struggled to stop the tears that cascaded down her cheeks.

"I loved you with everything I had……and you just left. It's been 14 fucking months since you've been gone……and you know what? I'm coping, in my own way. See I don't need you."

The image of Emily was becoming more blurred as the tears fell.

"I blame you for all this fucking mess……It's your fault I'm drinking…….It's your fault I might lose my job…….It's your fault Henry hates me…….It's your fault I've slipped into dirty habits…….It's your fault I need to find random people to fuck because I need to be wanted……..IT'S ALL YOUR GOD DAMN FAULT."

JJ turned to her right and slammed her hand into the wall not even wincing as she felt the pain rise through her arm.

"The day you went…..you didn't tell me you loved me when you left early for work because we had a stupid argument……I didn't tell you I loved you. I have regretted that every day since but I've moved on……I'm getting on with my life……without you."

"So there you have it Emily Prentiss, I don't love you…..I FUCKING HATE YOU."

The blonde lent against the wall and slid down it, bringing up her knees to her chest, the tears falling from her blue eyes which quickly turned into sobs. She was emotionally and physically exhausted; she always was after letting it all out.

JJ lifted her head up when she heard small footsteps and a sleepy Henry came into view. The media liaison quickly tried to wipe away her tears. Henry was looking down at his Mom, a worried look across his face.

"Mommy, who were you shouting at?"

Henry lifted his head when he noticed another person in the room. "Mom!" He raced forward toward her, and Jennifer followed her son's interaction with her eyes. The hallucination had not gone away.

"What??"

X X X

So, what do you think's going on?! What did you think of it? Good, bad, just plain awful? Let me know! Your reviews inspire me!