AN: Another permaboner installment. This time in honor of worthfighting4's birthday. I know how she loves a good gusher.

As with all the permaboner chapters, this is unbeta'd and sure to be riddled with errors. I couldn't even bring myself to read through it again… you'll see why.

There's a link to another banner made by PMR on my profile. I think she lives to Photoshop Alexander Skarsgard into ridiculous outfits.

Permaboner: My Love is Like A Tidal Wave

"Lover," I whispered.

"Oh Little One," I repeated, raising my voice and smirking in just the way I knew she liked it.

No response.

"LOVER!"

Sookie Stackhouse, my lover, my bonded, my possession awoke with a start, and I imagine would have jumped straight in the air if I hadn't secured her to the wrought iron bed frame. I watched with an amused grin as she tugged frantically at the rope bindings that held her in place.

"What in the holy, Judea hell?" she asked the darkness. "Eric Northman!" The edge to her voice could have been construed as anger, but I knew better. This was all part of the game; all part of the plan. Despite her many protests that she wasn't into submission; despite her request that we spend the night apart (as if!), I had her just where I wanted her. Just where she wanted to be.

"Yes lover?" I asked, my voice a whisper in the summer breeze.

"Please tell me that you did not drive here from Shreveport, strip me of my clothes and tie me to the bed while I was sleeping."

"I did not." I'd flown. She should have realized by now that it was neigh impossible for me to drive my Corvette when my permaboner was at full attention. It got in the way – despite the rather restraining garb it was in at the moment – and even a vampire as old and wise as me could confuse a stick shift for a…shaft, as it were.

I looked down at her from my position, levitating over her bed. Her features were scrunched, though I doubted she could see me. That is the problem with having a human lover, even a half-fae human lover like Sookie. She would never be as skilled as I was at the simplest things, such as seeing in the darkness of midnight. If she wasn't so juicy and delicious, I would trade her in for a newer, better model. Or, if nothing else, I could turn her into a vampire so that we'd be on a more level playing field. But no, Sookie wanted to stay human. Fool.

I wouldn't allow myself to think about her ridiculous protests of enjoying the sun and breathing. I'd done quite well without either, thank you very much. And she was deluding herself if she imagined spending eternity with me would be less than amazing.

She really was making quite the ugliest face.

"Don't," I whispered, lowering myself until we were a full erection's length apart (so about two feet given the size of the erection in question). "Haven't I told you that you will get wrinkles if you make faces like that?"

"Maybe," she huffed, "I wouldn't need to make these kinds of faces if you didn't keep doing things like this." She pulled against her restraints once more. "Untie me, Eric."

"Mmm." I lowered my nose to her neck and inhaled deeply. "I don't think so, Lover."

"Eric Northman, you untie me now!" she commanded.

"Feisty," I chuckled, trailing my nose down her body, still floating above her naked form. She smelled of fresh earth, as if she had been gardening and had forgotten to shower before falling asleep. Really, she should take better care of herself if she wanted to retain me as her lover. As if the ratty old Bon Temps high school t-shirt she'd been wearing when I'd sneaked into her window hadn't been enough of a turn off, she couldn't even be bothered to clean herself? I made a mental note to send Pam over to give her lessons on proper cleaning techniques.

I scrunched my nose at the odors that mixed on her body (after all, I didn't have to worry about wrinkles as the most amazing creature to have graced the earth – and a Viking to boot) and sped my journey down the length of her torso, burying my face in her bat cave and taking a deep breath. Ah yes, this is what I had come for. She may smell like dirt and that god awful human food she ate, but she could not disguise the loveliness that lived between her legs.

"You get out of there," she commanded, squirming to pull away. Only, due to my masterful bindings, her ministrations only served to bury my face deeper into her valley.

"Oh little one," I chuckled, lifting my head out of its happy place to look up into her eyes. "You cannot deny your pleasure. I can smell it."

"That's disgusting Eric," she said, more and more breathless with every word.

"Is it?" I quirked my eyebrow, then began waggling the other in a controlled fashion as I knew she enjoyed. All the ladies enjoyed a good eyebrow waggle.

"I thought I told you I wanted to sleep tonight, Eric," she said impatiently, twisting her hands in their bindings. I had been worried that she might break free, what with the way her hands were so tiny and soft; like a baby's. It was a good thing that new bartender at Fangtasia had been around to help me with those pirate knots before I'd sent him away. Not, of course, that I wasn't the best knot tier on the planet – I was; am – but what is the point of employing a pirate if not to help you in your hour of need? Besides, my hands were far too large and valuable to be bothered with something as pedestrian as rope.

"I thought we discussed your denying me, Lover," I countered. "Do you have any idea how many women – of all species mind you – would kill to be in your spot?"

"And I thought we discussed that I wasn't like your other women."

Hmmm. This wasn't working. I decided to switch tactics, lowering myself until I rested on my knees, and crawled up the length of her body manually, careful to keep my pelvis raised above her body. She could say whatever she wanted, but her body responded to mine; always had, even when she was dating that wank-happy Bill Compton.

"Lover," I murmured when I reached her ear. She turned her face away from me. If I had to breathe, I would have taken a deep breath and counted to ten. Instead, I cursed silently in a long forgotten language.

I leaned in to nip at the lobe. "Little Sookie," I tried. "Have I told you how much I love your tight little body? The way you feel like a small child next to me?"

No response.

"Baby?"

She let out a resigned sigh and turned back to meet my eyes.

"Eric?"

"Yes, precious little one?"

"Can you please stop calling me those names?"

"What names?" I mumbled, moving my hands to her heaving breasts.

"The little girl names. It's…it's creepy."

"Is that why your nipples are hardening? Because it's creepy?" I chuckled. She was too simple sometimes.

"No." She shook her head, the one mobile part of her body. "I think that is all your ice cold fingers' doing. Going on and on about how small I am just makes you sound like Chester."

"Who is Chester?" I asked, my fangs dropping at the mention of another man while we were being intimate.

"It's a saying. Chester the Molester?"

"I don't understand."

She let out a sigh. "Never mind. Just please stop with the little kid nicknames."

"You don't like when I treat you like my little girl?"

"No." She shook her head. "I told you I didn't."

"You also told me you didn't think you'd like to be tied down, and," I trailed my hand lower, reaching between her legs to find her juices flowing freely like a Juice Tiger, "that clearly isn't the case. So, little one… why deny it?"

"Don't…" she panted, attempting to squeeze her legs shut. "It's a bit insensitive to treat me like a little girl, and to so obviously get off on it given Uncle Bartlett and…"

I growled, unable to stop my base, animalistic nature from overcoming me at the mention of that scum. "I am nothing like Uncle Bartlett!" I yelled.

"I didn't say you were," Sookie sighed. "It's just that he used to go on and on about my little hands, and called me tiny and…"

"And killing him was the only good thing Bill Compton ever did."

Her eyes shot to her window at the mention of Bill's name. He had taken up residence in her woods on a nightly basis; if only it were true that you'd go blind from yanking it, he'd need a Seeing Eye vampire dog. Alas, that wasn't true, and we'd had to get used to Bill's watchful gaze.

She frowned. "You know I don't condone killing anyone. Even him."

"Which is ridiculous. And shows how very young you are."

"Can you please stop touching my yahoo palace when we're arguing?" she ground out between clenched teeth.

"But lover, I can't help myself. Not when you're so well lubricated." I quickly licked her flowing nectar from my fingers before filling her again.

"Can you please just stop?" she asked, though her voice wasn't very convincing.

"Give me one good reason to stop, Lover." I crawled up her body, stopping when my legs were on either side of hers.

"Because I don't want you touching me. Isn't that enough?"

"Ah, but your palace is saying something else entirely. The guards have gone and the gates are open for the entrance of the cavalry." I punctuated every word with a flick of my finger, groaning and moaning at the feel of her wetness. There was one thing I could say about my lover, and that was that she moistened up like no other. I barely had to touch her – barely breathe on her – and the slick, sweet nectar pouring from her legs would have done Niagara Falls proud. Sometimes – and I'm only admitting this to you – I imagine my boner wrapped in one of those barrels, bobbing along and plummeting deep into her pool.

"Just because my body reacts doesn't mean I want it, Eric," she ground out. She sounded rather breathless, a sure sign that she wanted me. If only she would realize that this was for both of us – hell, it wasn't as if I was deriving any pleasure from this; she was the one all sticky.

"Your body wouldn't react if you didn't want me," I reasoned.

"That is such a bunch of baloney. It's nature. You touch me there, my body reacts. It doesn't mean I want you to."

"Of course you do. If I fill up your orgasm jar, I know you're enjoying yourself."

"Please Eric. Just let me go. I don't want to have sex with you right now."

"You said that last night, Lover, and yet you writhed beneath me and screamed my name loud enough that Alcide and his pack came searching."

I saw her blush in the darkness. The were invasion last night had been less than fortuitous, but at least it had finally convinced that hulking lunk of a shifter that Sookie wasn't interested in his hairy, overly warm muscles. It had taken long enough, not that weres in general were smart enough to catch on to the simplest things. Besides Sookie's glorious bosom, I hadn't seen a sight as pleasant as Alcide's retreating figure, his tail tucked between his legs. At least, I think that was his tail. It was far too big to be anything else.

"Stop, Eric," she said sternly, which only caused the Northdong to rise more painfully to attention. I liked when she got bossy; perhaps she'd consider trading places with me, not that ropes would be very effective binding to a Viking Vampire, but I was good at playing along.

"You say no, but I know you mean yes."

"You do see the holes in that logic, right?"

When I didn't respond, she closed her eyes and rested her head back against her pillow. "Eric, this is really uncomfortable and I don't like it. Can you please untie me?"

I sighed, sitting back on my heels and shrugging my shoulders. "Fine. But you're officially no fun."

With lightening fast vampire speed, I unbound the ropes at her wrists and ankles before settling next to her on her small bed.

The room flooded with light when she switched on the lamp, revealing the worn and peeling wallpaper that covered her bedroom walls.

"It's so much better in the dark," I said, scowling at the aged furniture. "You really should let me buy you new things…new everything."

I had offered to buy her a new bed – something more fitting for a Sherriff to fuck in, but she had denied me. That seemed to be a pattern here. She'd also rejected the trousseau I'd sent over, saying that the crotchless panties were "unusable". What a silly woman; she should know that there was no point in having crotchful panties when I was around.

When I turned to look at her, her eyes were as wide as saucers.

"What?"

"What in the hell are you wearing?" she asked, stifling a giggle with the back of her hand.

I looked down at my attire and frowned. What was wrong with it? Pam had assured me that it was the best bondage gear that money could buy. If I was going to get into this lifestyle with Sookie (and I knew she wanted to do it, no matter what she said or did) only the best would suffice.

"Do you not like it?"

"It's…" she raised her eyes to the ceiling before looking at me again. "It's nice, Eric." She nodded, as if to affirm her words. "I guess." She reached out and touched the spikes that covered my codpiece. "Doesn't that hurt?"

"It does not hurt the wearer," I replied, matter-of-factly. "It only brings pleasureful pain to you."

"Um, yeah, I'm not into pain."

I frowned. "Yet you enjoy it when I bite you? Is that not painful?"

"Not at first. That's only…" she blushed. "Well… that's different. That's…"

I smiled knowingly, smelling the aroma of her arousal as it returned from its hidey-hole.

"Do you want me to bite you now, Lover?"

She flushed. I could see the blood pulsing through her veins as clear as day. Ah yes, my lover couldn't deny me for long.

"I don't think anyone would ever say they want to be bitten, Eric," she said, trying to sound stern as I leaned across her naked body and the tips of my extended fangs along her neck.

"Is that so?"

"Does it always have to be about sex and blood between us?" She sat up straight, resting her head on my shoulder, her bountiful breasts within inches of my fingertips. "Can't we just talk for awhile?"

"What?"

"Talk?" she repeated. "Like other couples do. Tell each other about our days?"

"Why would we do that?" I asked, genuinely confused. Besides Pam, I couldn't remember the last female I had actually had a conversation with. They were pretty to look at, and certainly some were more intriguing than others, but they were not designed for me to talk to. They were designed for me to fill to the brim with my vampire batter; to feed from. Nothing more, and nothing less. Even someone as special and unique as Sookie Stackhouse.

"That's what people do Eric," she sighed, standing up from her position on the bed and walking the short distance to her closet. I watched in resignation as she pulled out a robe and dared to cover herself from me. I would need to get Pam to talk about this later. Now, I was smart enough (and Viking enough!) to know, was not the time to raise this point.

"But, I sent Pam over earlier to talk to you. I thought that was why women had friends, so that they could talk."

Sookie sat down on the edge of the bed, wrapping her arms around her midsection. "That's different. I can't say things to my friends that I can say to you. Or, I don't know, even if there's nothing like that…I miss talking. All we do is have sex."

"I fail to see the problem with that," I smirked, reaching out and jamming my hand between the terry cloth robe and her chest.

"Of course you don't," she replied, rolling her eyes and dislodging my hand from its resting place on her nipple. "Can't we talk about our days? What happened at work? Don't you ever have things you can't tell anyone?"

I frowned. Modern women could be so confusing. Back in my day, women barely opened their mouths, except to grunt and groan and scream in satisfaction as I filled them with my enormous cock.

"No. I can tell Pam anything."

She sighed and tugged her gaping robe closed. "Most people share that kind of stuff with their lover."

I frowned deeper. "You would like for me to talk with you about the things I tell Pam?"

She nodded.

"All right," I said, looking at her skeptically. "Our last conversation was about the quality of fangbangers she has been bringing to me. As she knows, I prefer blonde women with large breasts and -"

"Eric!" Sookie shrieked.

"What?"

"You're still having sex with fangbangers?"

I rolled my eyes and leaned back. "I'm a Sheriff, Sookie. A vampire Sheriff. Not to mention a Viking at that."

"But… I didn't know you were still sleeping with other ladies. I thought you said I was enough for you."

"You are enough for me." Most of the time. When she wasn't complaining about being tired, or not wanting the permaboner in her anal passage. "But I have duties I must fulfill."

"So you're still having sex with other women?"

I nodded. "And men."

She shook her head.

"It's in the Sheriff's handbook Sookie. We must pleasure between 75-200 human bloodbags per week. If not, we will be stripped of our duties. You wouldn't want to see that happen to me, would you?"

"No. Of course not, but – "

"And think of all the sacrifices I have made for you, lover. Pam is always getting after me to spend more time at Fangtasia. If I were there every night, I could even out the sex. Before you, I kept it nice and steady – 28 dickings a night. Now, there are nights when I have to do double or triple that to make up for the time I spend with you."

Her eyes widened as she calculated the math in her head. "How in the world do you make love to so many people in one night?"

"I fuck them Sookie. You're the only one I make love to." I smiled to myself – I knew from reading Cosmo that women liked that distinction, and Sookie should be no different.

"Oh gee, I guess that makes me special." I might have detected a hint of sarcasm in her voice, but chose to ignore it.

"You are special, lover." I snaked my way down the bed, cursing as her duvet caught on the spikes protruding around my happy place. "Everyone else only gets on spin on the boner. You, my beautiful, lover get as many rides as you can take."

"That just seems so… icky."

"What's icky?" I asked, taking her earlobe between my teeth as I knew she liked.

"The thought of sharing you with so many people."

"It's just sex, Sookie."

"So it's okay for me to go and have sex with someone else?"

I growled, flipping her onto her back in seconds and nestling myself between her legs. "You are mine, Sookie Stackhouse. No other man or woman shall touch you."

"Bit of a double standard there, don't you think?"

"I am the Sheriff, dammit!" I spat out, fixing her eyes with my own. I forced myself to soften my features when I saw the fear in her eyes…not that I'm opposed to fear, I just knew that fear in Sookie meant she wouldn't have sex with me. "I mean…lover. It's different. You fucking other men is disrespectful."

"And you… well, you-know-whating other women isn't?"

"Exactly," I nodded. "I knew you'd understand."

"I'm not so sure I do."

"Lover," I cooed, leaning down to nibble on her ear. "Do we really need to fight about this?"

She squirmed beneath me, her pulse speeding up at my touch. "Can you please stop that for one minute until we get this resolved?"

"What's there to resolve?" I moved down to suckle on the juncture of her neck and shoulder, and smirked when her breath sped up. "You are my lover. You are the woman I claim as my own. There is no higher honor in the land."

"I don't like the thought of you…other women and then coming here to do the same to me. Is that that difficult to understand?"

I sighed, lifting my head up to look at my lover. "It is because you love me."

"I didn't say that," she said defiantly.

"You don't need to. Little one-"

"Eric!"

"Fine. Sookie. Do you not understand that when I am buried in them, I am thinking of you? Do you not know that it is your face I imagine bringing bundles of pleasure to? Your body that I want to be inside of? I do not have orgasms with them; I save them all for you. You are the only vessel I want carrying my molten treasure."

"Really?" she asked uncertainly.

"Really. I would be exclusive to you if only the vampire law would allow it. Alas, I can be exclusive to you in this respect."

That seemed to pacify her, or at least quiet her long enough for me to begin the seduction I had planned before we got into this whole mess. Women.

With one flick of my wrist, the knot of her robe was untied, her glorious chest and golden triangle exposed to my roaming eyes.

"You are the one I want," I murmured, running my lips across her clavicle. "Ohh… ohhh….ohh…honey."

"Did you just quote Grease?" she panted.

Damn. "No."

"Oh," she nodded, her hands running through my golden mane. "Okay."

She moaned and panted as my hands explored every nook and cranny (save the one cranny that she refused me entry – but that was temporary at best), crying out when I pressed myself between her thighs.

"Mother fucker!"

"What?" I looked into her cerulean orbs, cocking my eyebrow in confusion.

"That fucking hurt," she shrieked, writhing out from beneath me.

I looked down to the area she was fanning, noticing the dimples in her flesh from the tips of my codpiece.

"Oh."

"Oh?" She shrieked. "That's all you have to say?"

I watched, mesmerized, as a drop of blood trickled down her leg, my fangs and banana shaped organ extending further.

"Let me… take care of that for you." I was down in a flash, licking, rubbing, and tasting the blood that covered her thighs. The scent of her intoxicating fairy blood so close to her hot, flowing core was enough to make me dizzy, but I powered through it. I licked, grunting at the sound of the moans that escaped her lips.

"You like that lover?"

She mumbled her assent.

"Tell me."

She writhed beneath me.

"Over," she grunted. "Move over."

Who was I to not oblige? I shifted my head the fractional distance and took her into my mouth. "That's right lover," I said, buried up to my nose in her dripping delta. "Fill me with your nectar."

I made her orgasm once using my magical tongue, then again and again until I counted thirteen violent shudders. She needed to be good and worn out for what I had in mind.

I removed the spiked codpiece before crawling up her body and taking her lips with my own. She barely had the energy to open her eyes, her entire concentration focused on the dazed smile that crossed her face.

"Are you ready for the pounding of your life, lover?"

She whispered something indecipherable even to vampire ears and shook her head. Her eyes drooped further closed with every passing moment. She was exactly where I wanted her – corpselike and compliant.

She didn't resist as I spread her legs apart and shoved myself inside of her, filling her still quivering love canal to capacity. She let out a sound, and it was not one of displeasure, and her eyes opened wide.

"My goodness!"

"I thought it was gracious," I grunted, pounding away at full vampiric speed.

"Goodness, gracious!"

"That's right lover," I roared, then thrust my hips in rapid succession as I chanted. "Mine! Mine! Mine!"

She felt so good, so right around me that I knew I was close to popping the lid on the Tupperware of my nut butter. I shoved myself deeper still (and yet could only fit half of the glorious pants Viking inside) and braced myself for the impact.

One, two, three thrusts more and I threw my head back and began to roar. I roared until I could roar no more, collapsing into the puddle of our love with a grunt.

"Do you doubt me now, lover?" I whispered into her ear. "Now, when we are joined, soaked in the crust of our joining?"

She shook her head.

"Only you, little one. Only you."

"Eric!"