"The body is a house of many windows: there we all sit, showing ourselves and crying on the passers-by to come and love us."

Robert Louis Stevenson

Chapter 1: ALONE

It was quite easy for me now-I guess that comes from the loads of practice I've had- to be alone. It was easier for me because there was no shame, no explanations demanded. Alone you can cry peacefully…no sobbing, no screaming. Just the little salty drops running and running. They feel cold against my cheeks and taste funny in my mouth as they slip in through my lips.

I sit in my favourite hidden place. I come here everyday… my perfect tiny cliff -as I call it. Not because it's not high, but because it's just a small but thick rock jutting out .Just the size of a park bench. From here you could watch the ocean, the beach, some houses…kids playing in the sand, couples making out by the big rocks where no one can see them-They think-, everything so unique. You can bet these people feel each movement they make as the only one of its kind. Every moment they spent here…they will treasure it, a unique memory. They think. Well let me tell you people… I sit here everyday and watch… and every freaking day is the same. There's always kids, always couples… the big picture is exactly the same! There's always the lonely girl up here, where no one can see.

Ugh, I hate getting all existentialist like that but I can't help it .I get up and clean the tears of my face with my shirt, I look at the unchanging view one more time, and then I start running through the trees towards home.

"Hey, Leah! Kelly called again," my little brother ,Seth, tells me as soon as I enter the house. " she said something about being tired of leaving you messages and coming over with no response…" I don't look at him but I cut him off there "Maybe she should stop, if she's so tired"

"Come on, sis'. Give her a break. She's your friend… she's only trying to help you,"

"Mind your own business, kid." I say without letting him finish. I dash upstairs, to my room.

Kelly was getting on my nerves lately. Wasn't it enough that she had forgotten all about me when Sam left? Maybe she had already forgotten that through my desperate times of searching for him she had turned her back on me… but I hadn't. I didn't buy her story now, she hasn't change. There must be something hidden in her new developed concern about me and my social schedule, a vested interest, strong enough to make her come back and try to re-build a friendship that didn't end well at all a year ago.

I can hear my mom and dad laughing in their bedroom. I can hear Seth downstairs shouting at the TV screen… apparently some idiot didn't want to turn around in time to see the approaching bus that was going to kill him. I smile to myself. My family is happy. They all enjoy the little moments; they all smile and make others smile. All the Clearwater's but me.

That's it. I'm through with my suffering of the afternoon…

There's a sudden change in the house's atmosphere. Something has changed: There is no laughter. I open the door – conscious now that I was impossibly aware, at that moment, of the sounds around me- and take a look down the hall and then the stairs…

"Ma' , you there ?" No answer. "Dad? " Silence , and again no answer. That's weird, I had heard them just a couple seconds ago.

I went down the stairs. I don't have my shoes on. I can't recall taking them off…

"Hey, Seth! " I tell to the empty living room. Only then do I realise it's dark outside. It was barely five in the afternoon. How weird!

All the lights are on, and the TV and the radio… I can see that, but I can't hear anything. There's no one in the house. I pick up the phone… nothing. It is so quiet that I hear my own heart beating. My blood running through my makes me nervous…and I am able to tell the difference between my breathing rhythm and my heart beating… now racing.

The door opens. I know it because I feel the cold breeze and I immediately turn around to find at my porch the most beautiful person I've ever seen. He's just as pale as the moonlight, his skin looks hard and smooth. His long black hair sparkles with blue glitter and falls to his shoulders without covering his perfect smile across his face is a little macabre, as if he has just done something bad and gotten away with it.

All of this perfection isn't enough to keep me as mesmerized and terrified as I am when my eyes meet his. They are a scary bright red. Blood red. I can't move an inch.

He comes closer and closer with graceful slow movements. He's just a foot away now and his smile is bigger. I'm still motionless. He touches me. My cheek , my neck , my hair. He pulls me to him and starts tracing the same path with his lips but without touching my skin. I feel the cool chilling breath and my head starts spinning.

I want to move. Away or closer … I can't. My eyes begin to close and I hear for the first time in what felt like days a loud howl out in the woods. A wolf.

I'm awake and still in my room. It's probably the middle of the night and I am scared as hell and sweating. I get up and notice that I had been sleeping under my blankets and without my shoes. Seth.

The sky is pinky orange. I had been wrong… it's little before dawn. The bit of light that comes through the window in spite of the thick clouds tells me it'll be a clear day. Not sunny, never sunny.

I take a shower because I'm still sweating. As I'm going back to my room from the bathroom I meet my mum that is just getting up to make breakfast for Harry and Seth. My mother is beautiful and smart. A very tough individual, strong woman she is. She looks at me with all the love she's capable of – which is a lot – and very gently kisses my wet cheek. "Good morning, sweetheart. It's still very early. What are you doing up?". I don't want to answer. What was I going to say? I couldn't sleep after I dreamt about a gorgeous spooky man who almost kissed me from forehead to shoulder? "I had a nightmare... and I couldn't go back to sleep" was my brilliant response. I don't want her to feel she still can't talk to me. I want her to feel that being my mother gives her the advantage to know me even thought she doesn't. It's not her fault. I don't know myself either.

I get dressed slowly, thinking about the scary man. I finally end up putting on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a light jacket – the day still promises a little bit of sunlight.

It's Saturday, so there's nothing to do. I head to the beach to appreciate the heat and light. On my way there I pass by the Black's. Billy is trying to lead himself inside but there's something stuck in one side of his wheelchair that doesn't let him move forward. He's son is anywhere to be seen so I approach him and offer him my help.

"Morning, Mr. Black. Looks like you could use a hand there."

"Hello, Leah. Yeah, that's exactly why I have a son living with me! " He says, shouting the last part. A big guy comes from the other side of the house. It aches to see how much he looks like Sam.

"I heard , alright? C'mon…" He bends over and instead of removing the piece of wood he lifts his father – wheelchair and all – and puts him down inside the house.

I witness shocked. This guy must be eighteen , maybe my age, but still… that was strength!

"Thanks, Leah." Says Billy to me from the inside. " Thanks, Leah" Jacob imitates his father with a sarcastic tone "I don't remember seeing her helping you, dad."

"Well, she showed more interest than you. I'm grateful for that." Jacob turns to look at me for the first time. Only then does he realise who I am and I recognise shame, pity and sadness in his look. The same things I could see in Sam's eyes when he looked at me. The same thing I saw in every one of his friends.

This had me seething with rage in one heartbeat. "Bye, Mr. Black" I say without looking away from his son.

I turn around and continue my path. I can feel the tears on their way to the surface and start running to my tiny cliff where nobody can see me.

Once I get there I can't hold them anymore. I burst into angry tears and begin to wonder why the hell everyone in the reservation had t know what I had been through, what I am living and especially my sad story.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and I freeze in place. Scared, embarrassed… Who has found me? Who has seen me cry? " Leah, right?"

I was deep inside expecting – wanting- to turn around and find the perfect man from my dream , but again I find the - now more cautious- eyes of Jacob Black.

"What the hell are you trying to do? You want to scare me to death or see me jump off the cliff?" I'm aware my eyes are still wet.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to… Are you OK? Why are you…"

"Listen, boy. I don't know you and I certainly don't want to. Mind your own business, will you? "

"Boy? OK, whatever. I do have my own problems."

"Then go take care of them."

"I don't even know why I… Never mind. And FYI I'm sixteen, so you can drop the BOY."

"Would you leave already?! "

"No wonder why you are here ALONE"

I hate the guy, I want to kick him right in the gut for saying that to me. Who the hell does he think he is to tell me why...

"You should smile once in a while, you know? I doesn't hurt, I promise."

"Go the f…" I swallow my anger. "Go away!"

He leaves and I'm full of rage. I sit there, too angry to cry. I think about the stupid hopes I had of that being my … the man. But it couldn't have been him. His touch was cold as ice but it sent flames down my spine. Jacob's hand was burning – I had just noticed. It was boiling hot. He was. I remember some days ago when he had been in the market with Billy. My mum dropped a lemon and told me to pick it up but when I turned I stumbled into a huge bare chest that burned like anything I had felt before. He said Sorry without even looking and kept his way.

A strange kid he is. Kid…he's only a year older than my brother. And he is right. I am so freaking alone, I'm becoming unbearable to be with…