Separation

It was morning. Gwen was lying in her bed. She didn't sleep. How could she? Her mind was filled with thoughts and scenarios about how the day would go. But no matter what happened, no matter where Ben took her, no matter what he said, it still ended the same, in heartbreak. She didn't want it to end. She wanted to be with Ben until they were old. She wanted to be able to stand by his side through any milestone. Most importantly, she wanted to love him, but she didn't. She couldn't. Why? She thought to herself. Why can't I love Ben? Why am I conflicted by these feelings? Why can't I just feel the way I used to? The thoughts swirled in her head. She got up, deciding to go and get something to drink. Maybe something to drink will help calm my nerves, she lied to herself. She still got a glass of water. Hoping her lie may actually come true. It didn't.

It was around noon when she heard a knock at the door. She hesitated to open it.

"Hey Gwen" He said.

"Hi Ben" She replied. There he was, standing right in front of her. Ben had not done anything special with his self. He stilled looked the same. The same hair style, the same green shirt with that one thin black line running down the left side, the same blue jeans, but for some reason today, he seemed different. He seemed to glow, not with passion, but with innocence instead. Like the innocence of a small child, unaware of the nature of the world. He looked at her and started to blush.

"You look beautiful today" He cheerfully said. Gwen chuckled to herself. She looked up to his face and saw how much he meant his words, and her smiled disappeared.

"Ben"

"Yeah Gwen"

"Why are you doing this?" She asked.

"Wh-what?" Her question caught him by surprise.

"I mean, why are you doing this? Having these plans for today?" Ben just smiled and answered.

"At first I wanted to do this to show you how I truly feel about you, but then-"

"I Know how you feel Ben"

"Exactly"

"..." Gwen was surprised by his response

"But now, I'm doing this for us. I had doubt that what we had would last, but I didn't want that doubt to win. I want to show to you, to me that we will be together, no matter what"

Ben went in and grabbed Gwen's hand, and held them in his.

"I want to do this because I want our love to win in the end" Gwen turned her face away from Ben's. He was so willing, so determined to make it work that she couldn't bear to see his face. She felt she didn't deserve to see it.

"But..." she started. "But what if the doubt wins? What if we aren't supposed to last? What if we are just dust in the wind?" She was holding back her tears. Ben just held on to her hands tighter.

"I will never know, because I will not let it win. I'll do whatever it takes to make our love work" There was a long pause. Gwen thought to herself. How can he be so persistent? How can he have so much hope? ...Why can't I be like him right now? Ben let go of her hands and started to chuckle.

"..." Gwen looked up at Ben. He was laughing a bit harder now. "What's so funny?" His laughter died down.

"It's just that. Everything is said is just so cheesy!" He chuckled, Gwen couldn't help but laugh. This was classic Ben, ruin any perfect moment with humor. She didn't mid though. It soothed her.

"Don't ever change Ben"

"You too Gwen. Now, let's go" As the two started to leave, Gwen lost her smile.

"It's too late for me. I already changed, and nothing is bringing me back" she whispered to herself.

They first went to a small café. Many people didn't know that this place existed so it was a quiet place to relax.

"Ben, what are we doing? Gwen asked.

"I wanted to start off with a relaxing meal." Ben smiled. He misunderstood the question but Gwen didn't bother to ask again. She just smiled.

"Find us a seat and I'll get us something to eat" Ben said as he left. Gwen found a seat and waited patiently. A few minutes later, Ben came back with two cups of coffee and a large sandwich. He split it in half and gave Gwen her cup.

"Enjoy" He said, as he bit into the sandwich. Gwen didn't eat. She didn't even touch her half, or her coffee. She just sat there and stared at her cup, lost in her thoughts. A few minutes went by before Ben noticed.

"Gwen, are you okay?" He asked.

"..."

"Gwen" He was worried now

"Oh, I'm sorry Ben. I was just thinking." She replied.

"About what?"

"Nothing, just life." Ben didn't accept this. This wasn't Gwen. She never seemed to just think about life. He couldn't let it go.

"what's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing. I'm fine Ben. Don't worry" she said. It was a lie and they both knew it, but Ben didn't continue. He just finished his meal. When he saw that Gwen didn't touch her sandwich, he had to ask.

"Gwen, aren't you hungry?"

"I'm fine. It's nothing really.' This started to get on Ben's nerves.

"What is wrong Gwen? Tell me"

"Ben, I am fine. Can't you just leave it" she was starting to get frustrated.

"I can't leave it because you aren't fine. Something is wrong and I want to know what it is so I can help you "

"Now is not the time or the place I want to talk about this, okay?" Ben sighed. He didn't want this.

"I'm sorry Gwen." She moved closer to him and kissed him on his cheek .

"I know"

"Come let's go. We still have more places to go". Ben said, He let off a smile to Gwen. She tried to return one, but it felt forced.

The rest of the day was anything but what Ben expected it to be. It seemed everything he tried was meaningless. When they went to the mall, Gwen wouldn't even try on any clothes. When they went to the movies, she wouldn't even be watching the screen for half the time. No matter how calm he looked, Ben's frustration was building. The day was coming to an end. Ben thought it would be cool to take a walk on the beach. As they walked, Ben could see other couples holding hands, laying together just watching the sun set, feeling so close, but when he turned to Gwen, she was lost In thought, as usual. Never had he felt so distant from her. This was the last straw. He stopped. Gwen noticed a few moments after.

"Ben, what's wrong?" she asked.

"I should ask you the same thing" Ben replied. A hint of resentment was in his voice

"What do you mean?'

"why do you not even care anymore. What did I do to deserve this?"

"Ben..." she couldn't answer.

"why are you so distant from me? Why won't you let me try to help?"

"..." she had no response. This made Ben lose it.

"Once again, on response! I try so hard to make everything better, but you want to make it worse!:

"I don't want things to end up worse, nor do I remember asking you to try so hard" Gwen was just as angry as Ben.

"Well of course you don't ask, you just do! I have been working so hard for us and you don't even care." Gwen was so angry at this point.

"I'm going home." She started to leave, when Ben made a comment that made her stop.

"I guess whatever you were thinking about must have been more important than me, huh?" She was so mad, she had to turn around and tell him the truth.

"My thoughts Ben? My thoughts have only been about you! You want to know what I was thinking about the entire day? The only thing on my mind was how I was losing you ,and how awful of a person I was for giving you up. You were... you are one of the greatest people I know or ever ill know"

"..." Ben was shocked to hear her speak. It caught him off guard. Gwen started to calm down and continued.

"You consider my feelings all the time, and try your best to cheer me up. You are kind, sweet, passionate, loving, cheering." She started to cry. "And it brings me so much pain knowing how much you love me, and how you care for me so much ...even though..."

"Gwen..." Ben felt so bad for how angry he got. She continued.

"Even though I don't do the same for you" she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Gwen, you do make me happy. So happy. I can't picture anyone else who can. I know we've been through some tough times but-

"I can't Ben. Not anymore. I'm tired of making you suffer for me."

"But Gwen, I love- "

"I'm leaving you Ben" When she spoke those words, it seemed time itself had stopped for both of them. They were spoken, the words they both thought they would never hear. But here they were, and they were stuck I'm their minds. Ben had no response, he didn't know what to say or do. He just stood there, shocked and crushed. As time flowed by he just stood and watched. Gwen couldn't herself for what she did, but she knew it had to be done. She couldn't keep hurting Ben. She had to end it.

"Goodbye Ben" and with those words, and a few tears, she left. Ben was there still standing, completely crushed. He couldn't bear to move. The sun had set, the couples had left, and before he knew it, Gwen was gone. She disappeared into the horizon. He was there alone, shrouded in darkness. When he could finally move, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the necklace he bought for Gwen all those years ago. He let it slip out his hand and fall into the sand. He fell to his knees and couldn't hold back any longer. His tears had streamed down his face, and onto the necklace. His mind was a racing with thoughts. How could this have happened? Why did it happen? Why to me? What did I do to deserve this? Why did she leave? How can I even go on? What will I do? Without Gwen, he was lost. The world was dark and he was alone, stranded in the darkness.