"Deb, why don't you sit down?" Melanie's comforting voice cut through her racing thoughts, but it wasn't what she wanted right now. She didn't know whether her baby was going to make it or not. She was so fucking worried and oh, god, what she lost him? "I tried that already. Didn't work."

She glanced around the room, her eyes lingering on Brian's blank expression. They made brief eye contact before Brian looked down, hiding his fear and trauma and wide-eyed shock from her. Suddenly she knew exactly how he'd felt those years before, she realized why he wouldn't talk, wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep, wouldn't fucking move. She realized why he'd left. Because she didn't want to do anything right now except pace, her thoughts were taking up too much space, her worry was clouding over everything. And she had no iea how she'd handle it if she got news about Michael, one way or another.

She paced again, thinking about how close Brian had come to losing Justin again, how close—"What if I lose him? What am I gonna do?"

"You're not gonna lose him and this is not about you!" Ben's voice was strong and frightened and so goddamn powerful. But he was right. This was about Michael. This was about all of them. She glanced away from Ben to Brian, whose face held a silent agreement. She thought of Brian's frightened face, of the fact that he'd left Justin there at Babylon to help her, to help Michael. This was about Michael.

"I'm sorry. You're right." She sat down in a chair beside Lindsay and allowed the worried thoughts to wash over her.

When the doctor came out, she stood back and watched, she didn't know what to say, didn't know if anything would even come out if she opened her mouth. So she let Brian and Ben and the girls surround the doctor, and listened as best she could from where she was. She watched Brian's frightened, worried face from her vantage point. She could see the moment when he masked his feelings with anger, and felt a swell of love for her son's best friend as he screamed at the doctor to "Take my blood, motherfucker!" She was suddenly very glad she had Brian, very glad Michael had Brian.

She watched Brian turn away and slump into a seat, staring at the far wall the way he had so long ago, and wanted to comfort him. She watched Ben's face snap back to worried fear as he sat beside Brian. She didn't know what else to do, so as the girls took their seats, she walked up to the desk and quietly asked the receptionist where the hospital chapel was. She didnt know why God would do this, why he'd let shit like this happen, but it was in His hands, so she'd pray. She'd ask him to help Michael, to help Ben and Brian and Justin and anyone else who was injured or traumatized by this. She sat down and stared at the lit candles, took a breath, and quietly began to speak.