dino kid - The paragraphs will be explained below if you still don't get them feel free to PM me.
Light. Soft and pale, still too cloudy to be bright. I rolled over and hugged my pillow, trying to fall ignore the soft light and fall back to sleep. The pillow. It smelled. Sweet. Like Strawberries. And my shampoo. The memory of her came rushing back to me like a freight train. Her. Maka. I opened my eyes and sat up. My room was empty. I looked around. I was alone, my bed was empty. Her dirty clothes that had been discarded on my floor were gone and my clothes she had on the night before that had also been discarded were folded neatly on the foot of my unmade bed. My head cleared and my heart stuttered. Forcing myself to breathe I reached over to the pile of clothes and found a note folded gently into my shirt. With trembling fingers I opened. And read.
Kiddo-kun
I'm sorry you woke up alone, but I need to go break it off with Soul. For good this time. I want you. And only you. And I've been letting him do this for too long. And I know what he did to me was. Well I'm not afraid of him anymore. You give me the strength I need. Hopefully I'll be back before you wake up so you won't worry. I love you Kiddo-kun and I'll see you soon.
Maka.
Oh no. my heart was pounding blood in my ears and I couldn't even hear my own ragged breathing as I jumped out of bed and started pulling on my clothes and digging around for my shoes. Death the Kid you are an idiot. I flew down the stairs and out the door. Outside i summoned Beezelbub. My hands shook and I rode without realizing where I was heading. I let her go again. I should have woken up when she left. I should have gone with her. I should be with her now. She's so stubborn. She can't take him by herself. Fear was threatening to swallow me when I found my self at our park. Leading to the park.
A yellow motorcycle. No. I didn't even return Beezelbub. I jumped off and ran, ran as fast as I could. I reached our tree and froze. And listened. A scream carried across the park and slapped me across the face.
"Let go of me!" Maka. I turned and ran towards the sound and ran. I ran until I found them at the bottom of the hill near the old playground. I stopped. Watching them fight. Watch as she punches him and he slaps her and she bites his hand and he pulls her hair and she kicks him and she yells when his hand makes contact with her face and he yells curses at her when she hits him and she's so tiny and he's enormous and a scream is building up in my throat and I'm running again and I'm too far and he pushes her on the floor and her sandy blonde head hit's the floor and I'm still running and his hands in his pocket and she's still on the floor and he pulls out a gun he's got a gun and I'm still running and I'm still too far and it was all my fault and she looks up and her scared green eyes meet mine and her mouth opens and I wasn't fast enough and he doesn't turn around and he's pointing it at her and I'm running and Maka's looking at me and I love her and it was all my fault and he pulls the trigger.
And the sound echoes through me and I stop running.
And she freezes.
And looks down
And watches the dark red stain spread across her sweater-vest. Right over her heart.
And he smiles.
I don't remember running up to him. I don't remember punching him as hard as I could. And I don't remember wrestling the gun out of his hand and shoving him down on the floor just as he had done to my angel moments before. But I do remember looking into those hateful red eyes and emptying the remaining bullets into his chest. Pumping round after round into him and not even blinking, not even caring that my symmetry was off. Not caring about anything but the fact that he killed Maka, I do remember how he screamed. I do remember the glazed look in his eyes every time he looked at me and every time another bullet tore his insides.
And I remember the feeling of complete satisfaction as I watched him die.
They found me three fucking hours later. Cradling her body while his fucking body cooled ten feet away. I wasn't crying. Or screaming. Just holding her. It took six police to pry me away form her and I hurt three of them pretty badly. So they told me. They led me to one of the police car and I didn't start screaming until one of them started touching Maka. Moving her. Screaming not to fucking touch her and that I fucking loved her and don't touch her and it was all my fucking fault. Then I started crying frantically, trying to get to her and screaming. They gave me a shot of the same thing my nurse gives me. And I woke up in the Seattle police station, handcuffed and sitting in a dark room across the table from a detective while Liz, Patti, BlakStar and Tsubaki watched nervously from a window. I didn't even look at them. I answered his questions. Without emotions. I couldn't feel. I was numb again. It wasn't until he asked me straight out who shot Mr. Evans. I looked up from the table and stared straight into detective Stein's grey eyes. And answered. I did. And laughed. I laughed so hard it scared Stein. And it made Liz and Patti cry. And it made me laugh even harder. I stood up and laughed and screamed that I killed Soul Evans and I was fucking happy about it.
They decided I didn't need a trial. They also decided that I was crazy. But I wasn't crazy. I was far from crazy. But they sent me here . The Shibusen hospital for the criminally insane. They gave me this room. And my beautiful nurse. And I've been here for the past fucking year. Not eating. Listening to my father when he made his rounds. Not speaking. Banging my head against my wall and cursing myself for letting her die. For not being fast enough. For failing her again. And ignoring Liz and Patti when they came to see me.
My heart breaks every fucking day. I cry myself to sleep every fucking night. And it was all my fucking fault. If I had woken up when she was leaving. If I had ridden faster if I had run faster if I had gotten there sooner she wouldn't be dead.
They didn't let me go to her funeral. They didn't let me see her body. They didn't even let me go to her fucking grave. They thought it would upset me.
Before she died. After I had killed him and thrown that fucking gun off to the side and knelt by her fucking side and pulled her to me and cradled her head and cried her name and fucking begged her to be alright. She looked straight at me, and caressed my face with a shaking hand. And whispered that she loved me. And shuddered. And died. And fucking DIED In my arms. Before I could answer her. And I died inside along with her. I loved her. I loved her so fucking much.
Thank you to all the reveiwers and all the readers.