Before anything else, I am going to give a warning to those of you who have not seen the entirety of the first season, SPOILER ALERT! THIS LETTER WILL REFERENCE THE END OF THE FIRST SEASON AND THE BEGINNING OF THE SECOND ONE! DO NOT READ ON UNLESS YOU WANT IT ALL SPOILED! So. What is this place again? Fan…fiction…dot…net…? I have written this letter to prove that I am not dead. The straight truth about what's been taking so long is that after my first semester of college everything sort of fell apart with my life. My roommate transferred to a different school, I had to change dorms, the friendships I had just forged started falling out really quickly and suddenly, and on top of all that, I found out I had depression (still do) and for three days I couldn't leave my bed even to go to the bathroom. This caused my grades to drop from all A's to all F's and so now I have transferred out of Ball State because I realized that I don't want to be a Japanese teacher after all. But I still want to do something with Japanese. Unfortunately, since I don't want to be a translator either, there aren't a lot of choices for my future career. Therefore, I am not in school and completely lost as to what I could possibly do in the future. Oh. And I'm $5,000 in debt with no money to pay it off despite working two jobs again. So yeah. That's what's been going on. Hopefully it's not too annoyingly depressing and instead serves as an explanation to my overly long absence. I hope to keep up this story again, but I've kind of lost my touch for these letters now. And I lack motivation to accomplish pretty much anything right now. If any of you guys read Hyperbole and a Half, that's pretty much exactly what I am going through right now. And if you don't read her stuff, shame on you! Go google her right now! She's hilarious! Anyway, you guys who have actually waited along with me and stayed with me through this whole mess of a story mean a lot to me and I want to thank you so much for sticking around. I hope this next letter doesn't disappoint you or whatever because I don't really remember how to write them anymore. But here goes nothing! Here is letter 29! Oh, and by the way, I have to thank LittleGreenPuppy for motivating me to start writing again. She's shoved her computer in my face too many times showing me all her reviews and mocking my lack of them that I feel compelled to out-write her. It's on now, Puppy-chan! You guys should go read her stuff but then not review. That would show her. Or review but be like, "Hey I like Dear Bocchan better because you wear glasses and knee-high tube socks and you never fully explain what was going on when 'your friend' said all those hilarious things that you don't give her credit by name for! Also Truffles will never be yours!" Or something. Anyway, on to the letter that will be painfully short compared with this long-ass author's note.

Dear Bocchan,

What the hell! What the actual hell! After all that shit I went through to get your soul, our whole series ending scene was just a waste of screen time? I got you all the way to the Isle of the Dead (or wherever it was I took you on that little boat), a bell tolls and then suddenly your soul is gone! Seriously? You couldn't have just hung out in your body for about ten more seconds? I'm getting pretty tired of only being able to do the nasty twice a day and after meals. Whatever other acrobatics I'm going to have to do for the remaining time you're going to be alive better be worth it. Your soul better very good at oral or I will be very upset.

You know what I hate? Spiders. They are disgusting, and creepy, and idiotic, and even more repulsive than dogs. That's right. There is something I hate more than those filthy four-legged mongrels, and it's those infuriating, eight-legged abominations! Especially when they attempt to compete with me for possession of your soul. Not that a tiny little spider would ever stand a chance against me anyway, but they do prove to be rather irksome. Unfortunately, one certain spider is too large for me to squash under my beautiful, fashionable, evil stiletto boots, so I shall have to think of another, more "twisted" way of disposing of this one.

Oh well. At least now I have an excuse to try on that trench coat and hat I have always had hanging in my wardrobe. I think I look very sexy when cloaked in mystery. Especially when they mysterious cloak is a trench coat that is not really very mysterious at all because it is very obvious who I am when I wear it since my voice is so distinctive and you can clearly see my haircut.

Your not-so-mysterious servant,

Sebastian.