A/N: Hey all, I'm back with my longest, most drama-filled Suite Life fic yet. It's a little different that what I usually write, but I hope you like it. All you need to know is that it starts immediately after the season one "Boo You" episode, but the timeline of the series has been slightly tweaked for my amusement. You'll figure it out. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters and am not making any profit from the writing of this story.

The Course of Truly Entertaining Web-Based Television Never Did Run Smooth

It was a balmy, beautiful evening at sea. A warm breeze ruffled Cody Martin's hair as he walked along the deck of the S.S. Tipton toward his cabin. The full moon bathed the Sky Deck in a soft, natural light. Cody paused for a minute to note that the Sky Deck was strangely silent, considering the warm temperature and starlit setting.

He heard a faint noise off to the port side and started a little as he realized he was not alone. Bailey Pickett, the girl he'd had a crush on for months, was leaning against the rail. She hadn't seen him yet, and for a minute, Cody just watched her stare out to sea, her long silky hair blowing loosely around her face. He almost left without disturbing her, until he noticed her shoulders shake slightly. She was crying.

Biting his lip, he gathered his courage and approached her slowly. "Bailey?"

Startled, Bailey jumped and looked in the opposite direction, hiding her face while she quickly swiped at her tears. "Oh, hi! You came ba-" she turned to him with a bright smile, which faded as she recognized him. "Oh. Cody. Hi."

Cody was disheartened by her disappointed reaction- she'd obviously been expecting someone she'd rather see. "Hi." he returned, beginning to second guess his decision to come over, but mesmerized by her red-rimmed eyes. She was clearly upset- he at least had to try to make her feel better. "Are you okay?"

"What? Yes, of course." Bailey said quickly, pretending nothing was wrong. "Are you?"

"Yes." Cody leaned against the rail beside her and stared into the blackness of the water. "But then, I'm not the one crying out here all by herself." he said pointedly, before making a quick amendment. "Himself. Myself." he took a deep breath, closing his eyes in embarrassment. "You know what I mean." he started again. "What's wrong?"

Bailey just turned her head away, scuffing her shoe along the deck. "Nothing. I'm just..."

When she didn't finish, Cody pressed her gently. "You know you can talk to me, Bailey. We're friends, aren't we?"

"Of course we are." Bailey said slowly, meeting his gaze for the first time. "It's just embarrassing, that's all."

Cody smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring way. "You think I don't know embarrassment? I embarrass myself more before breakfast every day than most people do in a year." he joked. "What happened?"

Bailey twisted a lock of hair around her finger, obviously reluctant to share her story. "Well, London apparently has this web show." she began derisively. "'Yay Me!-'"

"'Starring Lon-don Tip-ton!'" Cody finished with her, emphasizing every syllable of the heiress's name just the way she did. "Believe me, I know."

"Yeah?" Bailey asked. "Well then I'm surprised you don't know what's bothering me."

"She said something embarrassing about you on her show?" Cody guessed sympathetically. "I'm sorry Bailey. London's not a bad person, she just has no brain-to-mouth filter."

"More like, she just has no brain. And no heart either." Bailey said bitterly. "I wish the problem was her saying something embarrassing about me. Yes, she mocked me in front of the whole world. She did an entire show going through my wardrobe and talking about how her backcountry roommate dresses like some inbred hillbilly! Thirty-seven million people saw my..." she paused, flushing red, and looked away from Cody. "My underwear." she said in a hushed voice.

Cody pursed his lips in anger. "Oh, Bailey, I am so sorry. Sometimes I don't know what goes through her head!" His voice softened to a soothing tone. "But listen, don't worry. In another week people will be watching something else, and they'll have forgotten all about that show." he rested a hesitant hand on her arm. "I know you probably don't feel better right now, but the whole thing will blow over. No one will remember this. I promise." he hesitated before adding, "And if it helps, I like the way you dress. You always look great."

"Thanks, Cody. That's sweet." Bailey said, waving him off. "But you're right. I don't feel better." she pushed off the rail restlessly, taking a few steps away and then pacing back. "I wish the thirty-seven million people were the ones I was worried about." she confessed finally. "But the thing is..." she looked briefly at Cody, as if judging whether she could divulge this particular secret. Evidently she decided she could. "There's... this guy." She looked down at the deck, blushing.

Cody's heart plummeted into his stomach. Of course there was a guy. "A... uh. A guy. Oh." he stuttered.

Taking that as her cue to continue, Bailey ran a hand through her hair and sighed. "I mean, he's so... And, just, wow... And..." she stopped, smiling ruefully. "I'm sorry, I'm sure you don't want to hear this. And I'm not even making any sense."

"No, go on." Cody forced himself to say. The way she saw this guy reminded him of the way he thought about Bailey- too incredible to describe in words. "I get what you mean."

"Yeah." Bailey continued. "I guess it's kind of stupid, but I've kind of been crushing on him for a while." she winced. "That's pathetic, isn't it?"

"N-no." Cody assured her. "So... you like him."

"Yeah." she answered. "Like, a lot. But then yesterday, after her little web show trashing my clothes, London decided I would make the perfect target for her Boo You pranking segment."

Cody maintained an empathetic silence, waiting for her to elaborate.

Bailey rubbed her forehead. "She... oh, this is so embarrassing... she put something spicy in my sandwich when I was talking to him, and I... I spit it on him." She shut her eyes tightly, letting the full humiliation wash over her. "I actually wiped my tongue on his tie. I am such an idiot."

"No you're not." Cody said, resting a hand on her shoulder. "That prank was low even for London."

"Then this morning she and Woody moved my bed right onto the deck while I was sleeping, and the whole school saw me in my pajamas!" Bailey continued, ignoring him. "I was so mad at her, we got in a fight and we weren't speaking all day today, and then..."

"Then...?"

Bailey sighed, gesturing to the opposite side of the deck, where there was a single table set for two. The fine tablecloth was covered with crumbs, butter, and petals from the mangled roses lying in the middle of it. The candle in the center had long ago burned out. Until she pointed it out, Cody hadn't even noticed the table was there.

"So this afternoon I get an invitation slid under my cabin door." she went on. "And it says it's from, you know, this guy, and that he wants to have dinner with me tonight on the Sky Deck. So I immediately assume it's London, right? Setting me up for another prank? But... I wanted it to be true so badly that... I went anyway. And... he was actually there." she smiled, remembering. "He was so sweet. He pulled out my chair for me, and there were candles and flowers and a solo violin serenaded us... The deck was completely empty. It was so romantic. And then he told me that he thought I was adorable, and that he'd wanted to ask me out since the first time he laid eyes on me..."

She was practically swooning, and it was all Cody could do to staunch the feeling of jealousy rising up in his throat. "So what happened?" he asked softly.

Bailey sank down on a nearby deck chair. "He mentioned how glad he was that London had set the whole thing up for us, and I flipped out."

"What do you mean, flipped out?" Cody asked reluctantly.

"How many ways are there to flip out?" Bailey asked sarcastically. She waved her hand vaguely at the messy table. "I did that. I was so sure London had set up a video camera that I tore apart the food and the roses looking for it. I flung butter all over Holden..." she buried her face in her hands. "And then London comes and tells me there was no prank. She set up the date as an apology for embarrassing me."

"Holden, huh?" Cody asked quietly. "I guess he didn't think the whole thing was too funny?"

Bailey shook her head, too miserable to be embarrassed about accidentally revealing the name of her secret crush. "He said he used to like me before I freaked out and threw food all over him." she sniffled, the tears returning.

"Heyyy." Cody murmured, sitting down beside her. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. After a moment of deliberation, he slid it around to her other shoulder, wrapping his whole arm around her in a half-hug. "Bailey, don't worry. I'm sure he'll come to his senses. What guy wouldn't want you?"

"Guys who've seen what a freak I really am." Bailey muttered bitterly. "I had a chance with this incredible guy, and I blew it! I'm so stupid! He actually liked me, Cody!" She turned towards him, burying her face in his shoulder.

Cody felt her tears dampening his sweater. He wrapped his other arm around her- what else could he do? "You're not a freak, and you're not stupid." he said gently. "If Holden stopped wanting to be with you over a little butter, he's the stupid one. You were upset after what London did to you on her web show. He should have understood that." His throat tightened as he suggested, "Maybe if you explained the situation..."

Bailey shook her head, her hair tickling his face. "London went after him. I'm sure they've both forgotten all about me by now."

"Impossible." Cody murmured into her hair. "You're smart, and sweet, and funny, and very, very beautiful. Take it from a guy: it would take a long time to forget you, Bailey Pickett."

Bailey pulled back slightly, eying him warily. "Are you making fun of me?"

Cody blushed, not because he'd been caught in a lie, but because he'd told much too much of the truth. "Of course not!" he assured. "You're awesome, Bails." He made sure to choose a more platonic adjective this time.

Bailey rolled her eyes, eyelashes still spiky with tears. "Don't you think you're laying it on a little thick, Martin?"

"Maybe you're confusing me with Zack. I'm Cody, the caring, honest twin." Cody joked.

Bailey gave him a watery smile. "Well you're a great friend, Cody." she teased back, carefully emphasizing his name. Then she reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze. "I'm really glad I talked to you about this. Thanks."

"Anytime, Bailey. I mean it." Cody tried to ignore the disheartening 'friend' speech and focus on the fact that she was holding his hand, but it was difficult when she brought up Holden once more.

"You think London was serious about going after him?"

She was worrying her bottom lip with her teeth and Cody was forced to agree with Holden on one thing: she was completely adorable. "I think he'd be crazy to want London when he could have you." he said, not really answering the question. After London's behavior over the past few days, he was forced to admit that he had no idea what kind of hurtful things his old friend might put Bailey through.

"Oh, stop already." Bailey said. "If you think I'm so great then why don't you date me?"

Cody's heart stopped as he floundered momentarily for an answer to her sarcastic rhetorical, but she simply continued on, "No sane guy is going to want some backwoods hick over beautiful, rich London Tipton."

Cody finally got his brain functioning again. "That's not true at all." he said quietly.

"You're sweet, Cody." Bailey huffed a laugh. "Why is this all so hard? Why can't the people we like just like us back?" Defeated, she leaned against Cody's shoulder, staring hopelessly out over the moonlit ocean once more.

"I don't know, Bails." Cody shut his eyes, trying to savor the moment, the smell of her hair, the feel of her body as she rested against him. "I don't know."