Hey guys, it's been a while. I have no excuse for my absence, and I only hope that this chapter will make up for some of the pain you all have been suffering *coughcough*. Thanks for waiting, though; I never would have made it this far without your guys' support!

Hopefully, this chapter is a little better than the first two pieces of sh*t. lool. Quick warning though, strong language at the end. (honestly, though, if you've read this far you probably don't give a flying fuck.)

Sony Ninja: Thanks for reviewing! I know it's been a LONG time (I'M SORRY!) but thanks for waiting. Here it is, enjoy(:

Karai-san: Awww, it's okay though. This one actually has plot development. I promise you'll like this chapter.

Major Mike Powell III: Sir, yes, sir! I finally updated, Major. So I won't get punished, right? (:

Mezzle-waffle: It's what I do, hunny. It's what I do. (sounds even more perverted)

kaizer20: OMG I'm sorry, I didn't use your suggestion! :( I think it's a really good idea, and I have a couple ideas for something like that (in an upcoming oneshot, wait for it), but when I wrote this chapter it just felt right to use *someone else* you'll see. :D

Redline57: Thanks! And guess what. This chapter is overloaded with angst.

Konata77: It's only because of you precious reviewers that I still have the enthusiasm to write. THANK YOU!

RapuRapu: Well, and here's the superangst coming up. And did you change your name? :3 I was confused...

To. You - From. Me: Here you go, kind sir. Enjoy. (:

Kaze Rei: Aww, i'm sorry (again)! I wanted to use it, but somehow it changed... and I can't thank you enough for taking the initiative to PM me and talk to me(: You made me feel much better about writing/etc.! And I want to see you write something too! PLEASE? PRETTY PLEASE? with vanilla on top?

LovableChibi: Thank you so much! Personally, I believe the first two are... well, you know. But you'll love this one. I promise?

Without further ado, here it is, the long awaited third chapter (suuuuree, like I actually have people who read this fail story).

Disclaimer: I don't own Strawberry Panic... I do own copies of the light novels though. (: And they are quite nice...

Chapter III: empathy

The sky was still dark. The forest surrounding the hill was silent, except for the light rustling of tree branches and leaves as the wind caressed them ever so slightly. The chill from the night was still present, permeating all that it touched, and a wet mist enveloped the atmosphere outside, giving the entire scene an almost surreal resemblance to the beginning of a fantasy adventure movie.

It was the cold that woke Yaya. After waking up in the middle of the night and taking aspirins for her splitting headache, she had slipped into a light slumber. The dorm's heating system was quite interesting, in its own way; whenever it turned on, the heat produced was nothing short of stifling, yet it never turned on at the appropriate time. Like right now, Yaya thought as she sat up slowly, her skin pricking with cold needles. She shivered suddenly, and hugged herself tightly.

Yaya sat like this for a while, not wanting to get up, while at the same time also wanting to do something so her thoughts couldn't get the chance to wander...

The chill got the better of her. She sighed and slid off her bed, creating a disgusting squelching sound. She made a face at the soaked sheets underneath her. I forgot about those... I forgot about last night too.

Picking the sheets up, she walked into the bathroom and stuffed them into her laundry hamper. She shivered again, and suddenly felt the cold stickiness coating her inner thighs. The bathroom floor was in a similar state; but she didn't really care at the moment. Clothes... where are my clothes?

Yaya walked back into the room, scanning the floor for prospective clothes to wear. Finding none, she opened her wardrobe and pulled out one of her Spica uniforms. She contemplated it for a minute, then put it back in the dresser. Too boring... and it's too cold for that ridiculously short skirt. Another look into the wardrobe, and Yaya pulled out a black and white Gothic-style lolita blouse and skirt combo. It was something Minamoto Chikaru-san had given to her when she was in one of her many costume clubs; Chikaru had said that she looked stunning in it, but Yaya never like frilly, cutesy dresses like the one she was holding currently.

Yaya shrugged. Fuck the uniform, then. Might as well try something new...

She disrobed quickly, and fitted the complicated outfit on herself piece by piece. It was a little small on her now; the black skirt came down just below mid-thigh, and the white silk long sleeve top barely covered her stomach. More cleavage was showing than what would be called "acceptable" at an all-girls school like St. Spica.

Yaya shrugged at that thought. Fuck the school too.

Out of all the schools in Japan – hell, in the world – she had to pick St. Spica Girl's Institute, one of the most well-known and prestigious schools in Japan, along with St. Miator and St. Lulim. Why she did probably revealed more of her inner character than anything else – Miator's uniforms were a monstrosity, and Lulim's uniforms were too cute and frilly for her (even though the dress she was wearing currently quite easily proved THAT wrong), so she picked the somewhat sexy uniform of Spica. And she'd be damned before she would admit that picking a school based on uniforms was blatantly superficial.

It was just her luck that an on-a-whim choice such as this landed her the love of her life.

One-sided love, that is. Completely and utterly one-sided...

Yaya

Just my luck, huh?

The black-and-white dress I was wearing was a little itchy near the nape of my neck; I constantly wanted to scratch it. I quickly found the source of my problems; a ribbon on the shoulder was brushing against my skin every time I took a step. I pushed it aside, and my neck stopped prickling uncomfortably.

I glanced at my alarm clock again. 4:55 AM. What the hell is there to do at five in the morning?

Hey hey hey, Yaya, it's time to forget now! My inner voice chanted, over and over again.

Last night was wrong. Last night was something that shouldn't have happened. Last night... hell, last night didn't and wouldn't have happened, if I had my way.

What was I thinking? What am I doing to Hikari? To Tsubomi? To Amane? To everyone around me?

My emotions churned like ocean waves in a tropical storm, and I felt my heart set to burst with anticipation and nervousness. From what, I couldn't tell. I clenched my fists tightly, and clamped my eyes shut; I pushed hard inside, and I felt the waves calm to a gentle swaying.

I opened my eyes and found myself staring at Hikari's gently slumbering body; she was almost curled into a fetal position, and she breathed lightly, her breath rushing in and out of her lungs. The sound rang in my ears every time she breathed. I was mesmerized as I watched her sleep.

Suddenly, her breath hitched. Mine hitched with hers. It came out again, slowly this time, and I heard a name float from her pale, pink lips.

"Yaya-chan..."

Tears sprang unbidden to my eyes. I hastily rubbed them away with the back of my hand, and felt my cries choke as I did. Attempting not to make any more noise than I already had, I grabbed my schoolbag from the foot of my bed and my drawing utensils from my desk. Swiftly, but silently, I opened the room door and stepped outside. Hikari muttered again, turning in her sleep as she did so.

I turned my head and closed the door; I felt my last true connection with Hikari end with it.

I hate myself. For some reason, I found this thought extremely funny, and I started grinning dementedly. The tears kept coming, and they wouldn't stop; I couldn't help feeling like I wasn't me anymore. Yaya doesn't cry, Yaya doesn't cry... I repeated this over and over, a mantra I couldn't forget.

Forcefully stifling my cries and furiously rubbing my tears away, with an insane smile plastered on my face, I strode down the dark hall, away from Hikari and away from my mistake.

I'll watch from afar, Hikari. I'm never gonna let myself go again. Never.

This is what you wanted… right?

Hikari

I woke up to a stifling heat. It felt nice, for a change; the heater rarely worked in our room. It must be a good sign. I smiled; this day was off to a good start.

Looking over at Yaya-chan's desk, her alarm clock read 9:30 AM. Something about that time was important, but I wasn't sure what; I couldn't quite remember. I shrugged. Might as well let this good day unfold itself.

I lay in the same position for a while, letting the heat slowly warm me up. I stared unblinkingly ahead as my thoughts wandered, inevitably settling on the events of last night.

What happened?

The first question that popped up in my head was just that. What really happened? Why did it happen? Did I make it happen? Did Yaya want it to happen? What was I thinking about when I asked her to take a shower with me... And how did I even end up in my bed after the shower? I shivered suddenly, despite the heat.

What if Yaya-chan did something... no, no, Hikari, she would NEVER do those things. Ever. But, still... that one time...

The incident was still crystal clear in my mind; I always knew it happened, but I was split upon how to feel about it. I could never forget the feelings running through my body then, the feelings that Yaya-chan had made me feel so intensely and passionately I couldn't have let them continue...

I knocked on my room door; for some reason I felt that it was appropriate after my date with Amane-sempai. I was still all nervous and giddy from the date; I realized my heart was beating quite fast and my cheeks were hot to the touch. I breathed in and out, trying to calm myself a little.

"Come in! Dozo!" Yaya-chan's ever-cheerful voice called me in. I smiled at this.

"Yaya-chan!" I ran over to her and hugged her. I couldn't help myself; and besides, Yaya-chan doesn't mind. Letting go of her for now, I reached into my pocket to get something I had been saving for Yaya-chan.

"Ne, Hikari..." Yaya-chan hesitated a little, but said, "How was your date with Amane-sama?"

I grinned widely. "It was great! I had so much fun!" Then, I offered her an object bound in my blue silk hankerchief. "Yaya-chan... thank you. Arigato. I couldn't have done it without you... so thank you. This is just something I found on the beach. Here!" I opened the handkerchief, revealing a shimmering, delicate sakura shell inside.

Yaya-chan seemed dumbfounded, even awestruck. I laughed inwardly, happy that I could make my best friend so lost for words. The moment of happiness I felt then was the last one I'd feel in six weeks...

Time seemed to slow to a crawl as Yaya-chan closed her hands over mine, both our hands caressing the shell. Her hands slid up my arms and stopped at my shoulders. I was a little bit unsettled when I saw the look on Yaya-chan's face; she was so serious. Her deep amber eyes, gazing into me, felt for the first time like they were showing their true feelings.

Every second I counted found Yaya-chan's face inch closer to mine; every moment seemed more surreal then the previous one. I stopped breathing somewhere along the way, I couldn't remember when...

What exactly happened?

Yaya-chan's lips pressed onto mine. Like rose petals gliding over a water surface, her lips did the same to mine; just touching, then sliding mind-numbingly across. A shock ran down my body as she repeated the motion, and I felt my knees buckle slightly. I felt her arms encircle me, preventing me from falling, and she pulled me tight against her body. My eyes widened in surprise when her tongue slipped past my lips, and I felt a bolt of pure lightning lance up my back as she explored my mouth. Each caress of her hot, wet tongue brought another wave of heat over my sensitive parts. It was too much to handle at once...

I wasn't resisting, and Yaya-chan took this as compliance. She pushed me against the wardrobe, but I didn't feel the pain of my back thumping against the hard wood. All I could consciously feel at that moment was her lips connected with mine as she lovingly traced every contour of my mouth, over and over. I wanted that moment to last forever.

Suddenly, her hand grasped my chest and kneaded it roughly, and I felt her other snake down, forcefully cupping squeezing my behind. This action somehow broke through my haze, and the kiss didn't feel that good anymore. Frantic now, I brought my hands up, attempting to push Yaya-chan away. She didn't move, but when I turned my head to the side to break the kiss, she seemed to lose face, and she fell to the floor.

I didn't know what to say. What was there to be said? I liked the kiss... no, more like I loved it.

That scared me more than anything else. So I did the one thing that seemed logical at the time.

I pushed her away. I pushed Yaya-chan away.

Thinking back on the incident, I was glad I had forgiven Yaya-chan... and myself. I couldn't have gone on knowing that Yaya-chan was hurt as she was, and remembering her utterly heartbroken expression upon her delicate face was too much for me to handle.

At that moment, my phone decided to ring loudly, shaking me out of my reverie violently. I picked it up, and saw Amane-sempai's number.

Uh oh...

I have a date with Amane-sempai! And I'm late! REALLY late!

I jumped out of bed and rushed to my wardrobe, hastily shuffling the clothes around to find something suitable for a weekend excursion with a girlfriend – no, with a really good friend. I blushed, embarrassed to even have thought Amane-sempai as a girlfriend.

After swiftly disrobing and slipping in my favorite yellow sundress, I grabbed my purse off my desk and rushed out the door. I looked back quickly, thinking that Yaya-chan might be worried when I'm not there when she gets back. But the thought passed quickly, and I shut the door and walked down the hall quickly, anxious to meet with Amane-sempai.

Yaya

The wind picked up again after its momentary retreat and blew through the trees and the grass, making the scene quite peaceful and relaxing as the branches swayed gently in the breeze and the fields flowed like ocean waves. I shivered slightly, my risque outfit not offering any resistance to the air that moved around me. Again, the bit of lace at my neck prompted me to reach up and scratch it, and I scowled a bit, annoyed.

I had been walking through the fields and forests surrounding the schools on Astraea Hill for at least a couple hours. I didn't really know what I was doing, but strolling the worn dirt paths felt really refreshing. The slightly stirring air was fresh from the coastal mist, and dew still coated the grass. I wanted to capture the moment as something I'd actually want to remember.

Glancing at my phone, I read the time. Nine thirty, I thought. Plenty to time to continue strolling.

With nothing to do in mind, I continued walking down the path, feeling a little giddy at a newfound freedom. I should have these walks more often. I laughed out loud, and the sound carried out through the trees. I heard squawking in the distance, and I watched as a small family of birds took off into the late morning sky.

Watching the birds fly away made me feel something. Jealousy? They could escape as far away as they wanted with their wings. Not like me, stuck forever in a loveless situation. "I wish I could fly," I grumbled aloud, sending my thoughts out into the air like I wanted someone would grant my desires.

"Me too."

I spun around at the unexpected voice, angry that I had been caught with my guard down. The anger faded immediately when I saw Tamao, but I was still a little peeved.

"Oh, Tamao. Were you following me?"

She giggled. "Maybe a little. Well, okay, I guess for a while now. You were kinda into your thoughts, so I didn't want to bother you... but what were you doing out so early? Five in the morning, if I recall?"

I scrunched up my eyebrows in confusion. "What the hell were YOU doing at five in the morning? Woke up just to stalk me? I feel... special." I tried hard to sound condescending, but of course it came out half-heartedly.

"I was looking for a good spot to write," she explained softly. "I couldn't sleep, so... I thought I could get some thoughts on paper. You?"

I turned my head away, a little embarrassed. "I was going to find a good place to draw."

She looked surprised. "My, Yaya-chan, you can draw?"

"Tch," I scoffed nonchalantly. "I guess I don't advertise my talents enough."

Again, she smiled. "Yes..."

Silence permeated the air for a couple minutes as we stared at each other, one contemplating the true reason of the other's early morning escapade. Finally, I sighed and turned around. I started walking again, but not before looking at her and saying, "Follow me. I know a good spot."

She smiled, but it was different this time. Smaller, but more sincere. "Thank you, Yaya-chan."

– - - - -

Hikari

While I was rushing down the dormitory stairs and out the building, a Sister stopped me and scolded me for my running. I readily agreed with everything she said, anxious to get to Amane-sempai. Finally, she let me go, and I took off running again, ignoring the Sister's calls.

Only when I was past the gate did I realize that I had forgotten my hat. Uhhhh... should I get it? Making up my mind, I turned back to the dormitory building. Suddenly, a laugh sounded through the forest, and I watched as birds flew up and out of the trees. Curious, I walked towards the sound, and voices became clear as I approached.

Rounding the bend, I was about to call out to the people talking, but suddenly they rounded the bend and I saw who they were. Tamao-chan, and... Yaya-chan? What is she doing here? Why is she with Tamao-chan? I flushed at that thought, thinking that it wasn't any business of mine as to who Yaya-chan spent her time with. Ducking behind a bush quickly so they wouldn't see me, I watched as they walked together... HOLDING HANDS? My anger flared up suddenly, and I clenched my fists as tight as I could. Why is my Yaya-chan holding hands with Tamao-chan?

Wait... what? MY Yaya-chan?

My blush returned full force, and I retreated behind the bush. Holding my hands up to my face, I rubbed my burning hot cheeks, trying to calm myself down. I feel weird... I feel really hot. Shaking my head a couple times to try and clear it of straying thoughts, I peered above the bush.

I sighed in relief. "They're gone..."

I need to get to Amane-sempai. Now.

I took off running again, thoughts of Yaya-chan plaguing my mind.

Yaya

We continued walking down the path towards my destination, a place on Astraea Hill that only I knew about. Tamao's hand was in mine. I glanced sidelong at her, and our eyes met; she blushed and looked away. Grinning, I did a mental fist pump, happy that my knack for embarrassing people wasn't just for show.

Well... I think I can take it a little further. My grin stretched even wider at what I was going to do next.

"Tamao..."

She flinched, as if someone had hit her. "Yaya-chan... have you been calling me without honorifics?"

"Hmmmm..." I replied nonchalantly. "I guess. What's wrong with that, Tamao?" I emphasized her name, drawing it out and ending it with a giggle.

She turned to me, trying to look angry, but only succeeded at blushing more and looking away. "Mou, Yaya-chan... you're so cruel!"

I stopped then, and felt a little miffed. "Tamao, don't take it so seriously..."

Tamao smiled a little and said, "It's okay. I know that this is the way you deal with these things."

Her words immediately struck a chord within me, and I looked away quickly and started walking briskly again. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I felt the smile in her voice, even though I wasn't looking. "Don't try and hide it from me, Yaya-chan. I'm not as dense as Nagisa-chan or Hikari-chan."

"Hikari isn't dense! She's just..."

"Dense."

Growling, I retorted, "Oh yeah? Well, what's with you and Nagisa, huh? Don't give me bullshit about this either because I didn't."

Her smile was pained this time. "She's happy, and that's all I care about."

Tamao's response infuriated me. Happy? HAPPY? Fucking bullshit. "You don't give a shit about that and you know it."

"It doesn't matter," she said softly. "Nagisa-chan doesn't need me. And it seems..."

"Hikari doesn't need me either..." I barely choked down the first sobs, but after that I couldn't hold it in. I felt Tamao's arms encircle me in a protective embrace, but I heard her heartbroken cries as well. We fell to the ground, both sobbing and crying and holding on to one another as if we would never see each other again. I buried myself in her, and she did the same. It felt good, letting go for once...

This will be enough. For now.