AN: Okay, this time it was me, Kitty, that wrote most of this. Foxy challenged me to write a … striptease … and this is my attempt at it. Foxy was also kind enough to reformat it so it looked better and she made it flow better, but it's mostly my own idea. And don't worry, we're still working on our more serious works … silly ones are just ways for us to keep ourselves from bashing our skulls in while working out all the errors in the more serious ones. Please read and review!

It's Just a Little Striptease

A Durarara! Fanfiction written by Kitty & Foxy

DISCLAIMER: We do not in any way own the characters/scenes/… oh you know the drill I'm sure.

Kida watched, frozen to the spot, only small sounds escaping from his throat as the two girls that were before him only moments before hurried away. It was another failed attempt at getting some chicks to hang out with him. He felt his head hang low – surely a reflex by now – and a sigh escape his throat.

A voice spoke from behind him. None other than his best friend, of course. "Kida, can we go home now? It's getting late, and since you're clearly horrible at this – "

He abruptly turned on his heels as energy suddenly coming back to his body and turned to face his friend. "Whaaaaaat? Go home, at THIS hour? Mikado, Mikado, Mikado, my poor uneducated compadre…"

Mikado felt his eye twitch a little. Is he lecturing me? Masaomi was going into "weird mode" again … but then again, when did he EVER actually go OUT of that mode? He stood there, watching his friend make all of these comical gestures to try and express himself.

"Night is when the romance starts, where the ACTION begins!"

"Action? What action? Masaomi, all I see from you are hits and misses!"

Kida's grin grew wider, lifting his finger and waving it at Mikado. "Aaaah, for now; but when the sun sets, the REALLY SEXY ladies come out, and to reel in those chicks, you have to be equally as sexy!"

Mikado gave his friend a look that clearly said "What the heck are you talking about?" For a guy who tried to express himself to the max, he was difficult to understand at times.

It was then that Kida spun around a few times and declared in a very loud voice: "A-WHOO the hungry wolves are let loose as the females stalk the streets!"

Mikado felt the corner of his mouth twitch and a large sweat drop appear on his face as he stared at his friend. MAN, was this guy corny.

"K-Kida-kun, PLEASE don't say stuff like that so loud."

"Whaaat?" But I have to Mikado, it's all for the ladies! I have to attract the ladies' attention! You need an audience for a show, no?"

"Show, what show?" His voice dripped in sarcasm.

Much to Mikado's amusement and horror, Kida hopped up onto a small ledge in the park where a lamppost was on nearby. He then spun around on it a few times, before he finally stopped to hang off the object using one hand. "Yes, you must make yourself appealing and stand out in the crowd if you're going to gather your lady friends, like a stallion does a herd of mares!"

Mikado remained silent as more sweat appeared on his forehead. Is he for real…?

"Liiike so!"

And with that, Kida began to unbutton the front of his school jacket and then his white shirt underneath. Mikado just stood there, dumbfounded, as his friend undid his clothing all the way to his waist, revealing the front of his chest in the lamp's light. Kida had tossed his hoodie aside, but kept the school jacket hanging on his shoulders. Before Mikado knew it, Kida was twirling around the pole once more, singing "I'm singing in the rain."

Mikado's right eye was twitching madly. The sight of his best friend dancing around a pole, singing, and with his shirt looking like it was about to fall off, was simply too much. "Kida-kun!" he hissed. "Get down from there and button your shirt back up! Someone's going to think you're high on drugs or something! And why the heck are you singing that? It's not even raining!"

Kida ceased his twirls for a moment, and once again hung off to look at Mikado. "Why, Mikado, this song is about falling in love. Why wouldn't I sing it? It's perfect for setting the mood!"

"It's. Not. Raining!" Mikado snapped again, as if his friend hadn't heard him the first time. "And your shirt's about to fall off so button it!"

Kida looked down the side at his collar, an amused expression on his face. "Ah, so it is. Well then, no point in keeping the women in suspense for too long!"

He rolled his left shoulder, and the clothing on the left side fell, exposing his skin completely in the dim light. Mikado's mouth dropped as he watched his friend continue to "howl" as he swung around the pole. God, people must think he's on drugs or something … actually, if he were, that would explain a lot of things …

Having no more patience left in him, Mikado marched up right next to the "overly excited high schooler," but far away enough so he couldn't be hit by the swinging idiot. "Kida, get down before I have to drag you down!"

"Oh?" Kida slowed down to a halt again. "What's this? Are you enjoying the show, Mikado? You want me to yourself?" Mikado's face was clearly that of disbelief as Kida continued teasing his friend. "Oh, it must be a curse to be so attractive even to my own sex! Alas, even Mikado can't stand how sexy I am tonight!"

Kida then withdrew a little yellow scarf from his pocket (Why the heck is that in there?), and let go to lean down towards Mikado. He held one end of the scarf in each hand and swiftly brought it to the back of his friends' neck, pulling Mikado in.

"Oh my dear, dear friend, I know it hurts to tell you this, but to lust over my body will only bring you heartbreak, heartbreak which I am preserving for the many women of Ikebukuro!"

Mikado had had enough. Red faced and on his last nerve, he grabbed his "friend" by the ear and started dragging him towards the conveniently near fountain in the park.

"Oy, hold on a moment, if you're that serious --!" Kida began, but didn't finish, for Mikado kicked the delusional boy into the fountain. Kida's already loose shirt fell off in the process.

Mikado stood there for a few moments, watching his best friend splash around in the fountain and sputtering out the water that had gone up his nose; he turned towards the exit of the park and proceeded to walk home. Sure, there were many things he would have liked to say to Kida, but chances were that Kida wouldn't listen, and sometimes actions got across clearer to him.

He sighed. Kida Masaomi sure was strange sometimes. And one other thing was for sure … Kida was bound to catch a cold after having fallen into the cold fountain water with no shirt on. Serves him right.