Ego and Scrotum

LMT scene redo page 129- I think if Stephanie had just made that last little leap during this scene all of us fans would not be ready to throttle Ms. Evanovich. I've never done this before so please be gentle, I don't own anything, but I do wish I could sequester Ranger in my bedroom for the rest of eternity. Now on to the show.

Here I was sitting in the best car on the planet with one of two men in my life and I for once finally realize that he could be with someone else and I would have no say in the matter and it really bothers me. I know it shouldn't I have Morelli but still I can't help but feel jealous and upset at someone else touching, kissing, and stroking My batman. Mental head slap, duh, he's not yours Stephanie, you only got to have him once. But I couldn't get over it, he's never said anything about any other women in his life, and I know no other females have ever stayed over at Haywood. Both he and Ella have told me that. But what about the batcave? Had he ever taken someone else there? I kept replaying the conversation with Joyce over and over in my head and the nagging niggling question that it produced. Who was taking care of Ranger's needs, because I sure wasn't? But that left another question behind, did I want to be the one taking care of his needs?

Three traffic lights later, Ranger cut off Hamiliton and parked in my lot. He looked up at my dark apartment windows, shut the Cayenne off, and turned to face me. "Tell me about your kitchen discussion with Joyce."

"She realized you would be helping me find Dickie and decided it was smarter to follow me around than go off on her own. So she's my new best friend.

"I told her I didn't think it was likely you'd turn Dickie over to her and she said she had a way with men. She said men were basically scrotum and ego, and they were happy when they go stroked." Mental head slap I wasn't going to tell him about that last part, it just kind of sprang out. Now sensible Stephanie was yelling for me to shut the hell up, but the curious Steph was just waiting to see if she could ask about who was doing some stroking for him. God, could I make my life any more difficult?

Ranger reached across the console and traced a line down the side of my face. His fingertip was warm and his touch gentle. "I'd like to think I'm more than just scrotum and ego, but she was right about the stroking."

An SUV crept into the lot and parked behind us.

Ranger looked back at it. "That's Tank. He's giving me a ride back to RangeMan after I check your apartment. I'll leave the Cayenne with you."

Ranger unlocked the car and hurried over to my side of the car and offered his hand to me so I could get out of the car. As we made our way inside he kept his hand on my lower back while ushering me into the lobby, over to elevator and up to my apartment door. I handed him my keys and he told me to stay in the hall until he gave the all clear. He's always extra precautious with me and my safety, it's almost funny, but I know it's necessary with the number of stalkers and psycho's I've acquired through the years. If this gives him peace of mind, so be it, I'll let him take care of it. Finally, he gave me clearance to enter my own apartment but before I let him leave I wanted to ask him the question that was running through my mind.

"Ranger"

"Yeah, Babe."

"Umm… I was wondering… Joyce's comments have me thinking… and ummm…" I couldn't help stammering and I for sure couldn't look him in the eye while asking this question. I didn't want to find out he actually had someone else in his life. I didn't want to know that it was just me that he didn't want, after our one night together. Shit! I just had to ask, the thought of someone else rubbing up against him, had me actually read to retch.

"I'm smell rubber burning Babe. What's up?" He stalked towards me, and very gently place his arms around me, offering comfort, peace and a little of his strength to ask the question, I dreaded so much.

"Ranger, I'm just going to spit it out and if it's too personal you don't have to answer. I know you like your privacy and I would understand if you didn't want to answer me." Here I was stumbling over my words trying to seek an answer I'm sure I wouldn't like to hear. "You know after the conversation with Joyce well it has me wondering about who has been or who is, you know, taking care of you?"

Good god as soon as the question left my mouth I wanted to be gobbled up into the floor and never have to look at this man again. I knew without having to look in the mirror that my entire face was turning bright pink with embarrassment. I also knew that I had totally stunned Batman, because he had stopped making the soothing circles on my back and his entire body tensed for a few seconds. Slowly I could tell he had come to some inner decision and he maneuvered us into the corner of my couch. I was still trying to hide my face from his by burying it in his chest since I was sitting on his lap.

Very quietly Ranger ask, "Babe look at me."

I just shook my head no.

Then he pulled out the big guns. "Please" and he slowly placed his hand on the free side of my face while his thumb was under my jaw. Slowly trying to coax my face up to meet his. With that one word he knew I would do as he asked. So valiantly with a little bit of that blush still appearing on my face I looked into batman's eyes to see what he was going to say.

"Babe this is a strange question coming from you. I want to know to why you decided to ask this of me? You have Morelli, do you want me to be waiting for you, not touching any other woman while you lay in his bed and in his arms at night? I don't think your saying it to be cruel or just prying into my life. But if you really want to know I'll tell you."

This was why sensible Steph didn't want to ask this question, would it hurt more or less to know the answer. Shit! I just nodded my head for him to continue.

"Okay Babe. I've never lied to you and I'm not going to start now. I have been with a few women since I was with you. I make it a point to never bed any women around Trenton because I don't like the interference it can cause with my normal life." With his words I slowly started to shake and I have no idea why, he was giving me a reasonable response, the man was a Sex God for Christ sakes! I couldn't possibly have believed he'd stopped having sex. I didn't.

Making sure I was paying attention he then continued on, "But there is only one woman who I want to be taking care of my needs. This woman has made my life hell for a number of years, she walked into my existence and she alone became my life. But she has made choices that keep me at arms length and she alone can decide if I am what she wants. I won't force my self on her because my life is dangerous, but then again so is hers. I need her to make the choice and come to me when she is ready because I don't share and if she decides I am her choice she will be mine from that moment forward because I play for keeps."

A few minutes went by when neither of us said anything then very quietly Ranger said, "I told you once before Babe, I might have all the weight and muscle but you have all the power. Your choice, always has been always will. I've got to get going Tank waiting for me down stairs." With that Ranger carefully pulled me to my feet and gave me a very gentle kiss that spoke volumes about what he really wanted from me and walked out the door.

As soon as he was out the door I was crying, and not the silent roll down your cheeks cry you see in movies, no, the I can't breath my face is red and blotchy with snot coming down into my mouth type of crying. I could barely breath, I didn't know what for. Ranger had just told me he wanted me, that he wanted me! Not in my wildest dreams did I ever think that Ranger would actually ever be in a committed relationship, especially not with me. This should all be a good thing but then why was I crying and then it hit me with a ton of bricks Joe! That's when the catholic guilt hit me hard. He had always been fairly decent with me, especially considering he was a Morelli, but we constantly argued over everything in my life; from my career, to my friends, to my lack of wanting to get married and to him wanting to change who I am. Did I really want to give up what was comfortable and normal to me and try something different? I decided I was going to go into denial land and stay there for the night. This question was going to have to wait until after a shower and bed, because I was beyond tired after my crying jag and I'm pretty sure my brain had stopped functioning about 30 minutes ago.