Hard On You

Couple:Tohru/Kyo
Rated: K+ for some angst
Song: Hard On You- Rob Thomas
One-shot

You're the best thing I ever knew
You do everything that I can't do
Sometimes I get lost in my blue
Please forgive me if I'm hard on you
Please, forgive me if I'm hard on you.

"Just get out of here!" He screamed. Kyo's body was rigid with anger and pain. "Just get out of here and don't come back! I mean it!" He was doubled-over with his head on his knees and a kind of unbearable pain in his eyes.

Tohru backed out of the room slowly. "Kyo-kun, there's still time! We can still help you, keep you out of isolation! Please let me help you!"

"I said get out!" Kyo cried, getting to his feet. "Get out, you stupid girl, and understand you have no right to meddle in a fate as ancient as time itself!" His face was streaked with tears, and obviously he was in pain.

"Kyo-kun, please… You're sick, and obviously irritated, and I'd like to be near you…"

"Get out!" He yelled, taking a step forward. Everything about his features, about the way the sudden fear had gripped him, was contorted. Tohru took a step back, a pained look on her face, and then bolted from the room.

The hollow sob that echoed from her throat could be heard as she exited the room.

Kyo collapsed on his bed in a fit of sobs which, unlike Tohru's, were dry and raspy. The few tears that did fall clung to his face. He was not sure what the conversation had been, or why he'd suddenly lost all will to fight, but he was both physically and emotionally trembling, unable to deal with the ugly word that now pulsed through his head.

Confinement. Alone. Without Tohru.

Had he been in a better state, his mind might have acknowledged that he might have just created that for himself by chasing her out of the room. Then again, had he been in a better state of mind, he might never have started yelling at her in the first place…

Tohru. Lately she'd been trying so hard to stay with him and help him through everything. Some days were fine. He was able to hold her hand and hold his tongue, and it seemed as though everything between them was finally the way he'd always wanted it to be. More and more often, however, an unsurpassable gloom came out when he was with her.

The result was a freak-out in which he normally chased her away, although today he had actually broken, body and soul, and he'd been furious with everything and everyone.

He had no clue why he'd been furious with her. She'd been trying to help him. She was always trying to help him,

God I'm an idiot, he thought, when he fully realized what he'd done. He dried the last of his tears off his face; he hated to cry, but hated to cry more when he had caused it himself, and especially when it had to do with Tohru.

Tohru. He'd been relying on her for everything these past few weeks. She was wonderful, making sure he had enough to eat, that he was doing his homework- even though she couldn't help him very often- and just by being there. She'd take him out on long walks, smiling every step of the way.

She was the best thing to ever happen to him, and he'd just chased her out of his room, screaming like a mad man.

"I'm so damn stupid!" He yelled, aiming a kick at his wall and succeeding only in banging his bare foot off the bed.

"Yes, yes you are," said a mocking voice from outside his door, and he looked up to see Shigure, reading glasses still in place, walking across the threshold of his room. "Any reason you chose to make the little flower of our household cry, or are you just that generally oblivious to human emotions?"

"Shut up, Shigure! Of course I didn't mean to make her cry!" Kyo yelled. "Where is she? Is she okay?"

"She asked that I not tell you that. However, if you want to find her, I suggest you go look for her somewhere where she'd never think you'd look."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He yelled after Shigure, but Shigure was already walking down the hallway.

I'm so hard on her…

You and me got so much to prove
You're the only thing that I can't lose
The nights are peaceful here in our room
Please forgive me if I'm hard on you
Please, forgive me if I'm hard on you.

Kyo run out of the house past Shigure, who was being infuriatingly silent and clucking his tongue as he sat in his armchair, watching Kyo run off into the woods.

"Foolish boy," Shigure muttered. "He gets a chance at help and chases it out of the house."

Kyo was shaking. He wondered where Tohru could possibly be, if she was okay. In his mind he saw her crying, her face twisted in pain.

"I'm so goddamn stupid," he said again. "Where on earth could she be?"

He thought it through. Nowhere in his mind could he figure out where she might have gone. Nowhere seemed obvious; normally she would wait in her room or be somewhere with Yuki, but Yuki was gone for the day.

"Why the hell do I always do this…?" Kyo gripped his hair, hard, and took off down the path again, eager to find Tohru, eager to apologize.

But what if she won't listen? Nagged a thought in the back of his mind.

"Tohru!" He yelled. "Dammit Tohru, I'm so sorry!"

Suddenly an idea came to him, and he knew where she had to be. He set off at a jog that burned his lungs and legs, desperate to find her.

Please be there. I can't lose you. I won't.

'Cause I didn't mean to be mean
When I said
All those things that I said to you
But maybe the worst is the best I can do
With you…

The clearing was familiar. Here he had been another form, an ugly form, the form that so many people had run away from. Here she had walked towards him. Here she had cared about only him.

Here was where they had really begun.

There she was. Her eyes were red-rimmed with tears, her shoulders moving up and down, frail, broken.

She was so beautiful.

He took a step forward, which alerted her that he was standing there. Her head snapped up off her hand and she looked at him, and for the first time he saw something in her eyes that he had hoped he would never see there.

She looked afraid of him.

"K…Kyo…" She took a step back. "Look…. I… I'm so…"

"Don't say it. Just don't say it." He felt angry with her. How could she not see that he was the one who had screwed up? Was she stupid?

No, he thought, she's just terrifed that she's hurt you, when you hurt her more than she's ever been hurt. What an idiot.

"I'm the one who should be sorry."

"Kyo, I said something to upset you. This isn't your…"

"Tohru, please. This is my fault. It's always been my fault. You're everything I don't deserve. You make me smile. You make me laugh. And I keep hurting you. I always do this to you. I just… I'm so…"

"I know, scared," she finished. "But Kyo-kun, I really do want to be there for you…"

"I want you there. Tohru, I'm so sorry." He took a step toward her and she stayed where she was, and he took another step, until he was in front of her. Very slowly, he raised his hand, which she took and held, smiling at him.

"I'm sorry," he said, and her smile faded.

"Don't be. Everything is fine."

"No, everything is not fine. Tohru, I need you to start telling me when I'm doing things to hurt you."

"You never hurt me," she said.

"Don't lie. I'm always yelling at you. It has to hurt."

"But I love you. So its okay."

Kyo slumped slightly forward so that his head touched her shoulder. "I don't deserve you," he whispered. "I'm always going to hurt you. I'm so sorry this relationship is hard on you." Looking up into her face, he could see the worry in her eyes, and felt a pang of guilt. Being with him was aging her slowly but surely.

"It would be harder on me if I lost you," she told him softly, placing her hand on the back of his neck. He looked up into her eyes, which were full of tears. "Please say you're staying."

"I feel like it might be best for you if it didn't."

"I… I can't stand to lose anyone else I love…" She said, and he watched as a tear spilled over her cheek.

God, I'm so stupid, he thought. "Tohru, please don't cry," he whispered.

And I never want you to go
But I know I've been moving
Way too slow
And I fall apart 'cause
That's all that I know.

"Please… Kyo…" She gripped him with all of her strength then and the moment dissolved between them as the small cat appeared. He sat on her shoulder, nuzzled her cheek.

"I'm not leaving. I swear. I just don't want to hurt you."

"Kyo… Kyo-kun, do you think I'm selfish?"

Kyo paused, momentarily struck dumb by her question. "Why would I ever think that?"

"I feel like I take so much out of you, always demanding that you stay with me, always wanting to be near you."

"Tohru… Oh Tohru, no." He would his tiny cat body around her neck. "You're so much to me. I just don't want to hurt you by being too close to you."

"You hurt me more when you refuse to let me help you. What if I do lose you to solitary? What if the only reasons I want to help you are because I love you?"

Suddenly Tohru was crying again, and at that moment, Kyo's body betrayed him and he transformed back, running for the cover of the trees. "Come back." She called to him, unsure of what had happened. He felt his own tears fall as he hurried to button his pants and came out to rest his hand on her cheek.

They sat like that for a long time, with him smiling at her as she finished crying and turned to face him.

"I love you," he said softly.

"I love you too, Kyo."

Where you running now, baby blue?
Please don't let it take me far from you
I've been restless
I've been a fool
Please forgive me if I'm hard on you
Please forgive me if I'm hard on you.

Please, forgive me if I'm hard on you.

The two came out of the woods several hours later, Kyo supporting Tohru's waist. All of the crying and talking had made them both emotionally drained, and she was obviously tired. He carried his shirt over his shoulder, and bent down to kiss her.

She leaned up to kiss him back, and the two made their way through the gate.

Shigure let out a cat call that resulted in Kyo throwing his shirt at him, which hit him and knocked his glasses askew.

"Take better care of her!" He yelled from under the shirt.

"I'm sorry this had to happen," Kyo whispered to Tohru.

"Don't be," she said with a little smile. "I got to spend the whole day with you, and we got to talk about everything. I'm just sorry I'm so hard on you."

"It's the other way around," he said, squeezing her hand.

"I just want to be around you from now on, Kyo-kun."

"I think," he whispered in her ear, "We can manage that."

Her smile was the only answer he needed, and as the day faded around them, part of his temper faded too, and he breathed deeply for the first time.

Maybe, he thought to himself, maybe I will be free.

Maybe this is all I need.

(A/n: Song fics. They happen. No clue when this is set. The characters just kind of popped up in my head. Hope you enjoyed.)