Wow... My plot bunnies ran away a couple of weks ago and I never thought I'd see them again! *Sniffs sadly* But as sommer break came to a close (only two more weeks now, then I'll start high school!) so did my inspiration! And my brain has been buzzing with quite... abnormal stuff lately, so there. My excuse for Sirius' perverted behaviour in this one. Period. Of course, after reading this oneshot, everyone's free to complain to me about how the way he acts is so horrifically wrong... I just won't agree with you! I liked writing it, and I happen to know that the two main characters in this thing liked it very much as well! *Sirius and Remus smiles smugly and nods in agreement*

This is slash if anyone's failed to notice - but the rating is just to be safe, and applies mainly because of the language... You have been warned.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. I don't own the HP series. I don't own the armchair in the gryffindor common room, or Remus' tie for that matter. But I do own my ideas - and I'm damn proud of it! So here you go with one of them...

Coming out

Sirius Black was positioned on the floor, arms and legs sprawled every which way right next to the fireplace in the gryffindor common room. And this he was quite unhappy about. Not to be so close to the fireplace, obviously, seeing as it was a cold and wet December afternoon and he'd been involved in all too many snowball fights already. No, Sirius was simply rather unhappy with having to be on the floor next to his friend Peter Pettigrew while his best mate, James Potter, was occupying a very comfortable looking armchair right in front of him.

This was why Sirius let out such a triumphant sound when the raven-haired seeker left said armchair as he spotted Lily Evans and decided to ask her out a third time today, and this was also why the black dog rose and dashed onto the chair so hurriedly as soon as it was vacant – knowing fully well that James would be returning again at any second after being rejected once more. And when that would happen…

"Padfoot!" came the exasperated cry that informed Sirius that hell, it had already happened.

"Yes, Prongsie?" he returned, calm and very innocent looking as he met the other gryffindor's eyes with polite curiosity.

"Haven't I told you before that you're not allowed to steal my seat?" James wondered sternly, though with an amused glint in his eyes seeping through the façade.

"I'm sure you have, many a time", Sirius admitted happily. "Your point being…?"

"That somehow it seems you've done it again, Pads", James explained, not sounding quite as patient as the one he was talking to did.

"Have I, now?" Sirius wondered innocently, seeming slightly concerned like the good actor he was. "Funny, because I didn't ever see your name on it."

"Oh, my name is there alright", the spectacled boy promised. "Get up and you'll see."

Sirius seemed to be considering the proposition carefully before he shook his head with a smirk.

"Don't think so", he said, now sounding as mischievous as always. "You'll have to come up with better tricks to get my butt out of this seat, Prongs."

James murmured something about what else would be a good position for Sirius' butt, and then he asked the other bloke to scoot over.

"There'd be room for us both if you wouldn't spread like a fucking germ this time of year!" he claimed, but Sirius didn't seem all too eager to put his theory to test.

"I strongly doubt it, Prongs", he debated. "When I wish to relax, there is room for me and me only."

"Prick", James snarled, but decided to leave it at that as he plumped down at the floor besides a silent Wormtail with a sigh.

Of course this was when Sirius laid his eyes on something – or rather, someone – that caught his interest. This someone happened to have finished his essay in arithmancy and decided to leave the library and join his friends just now, and had chosen this very moment to enter the common room, much to Sirius' satisfaction.

This someone was, of course, no one less than Remus Lupin.

"Moony!" Sirius exclaimed happily as the brown-haired boy in question came towards them. "Come sit!"

And with no further words, Sirius Black grabbed his friend and secret love by the wrists and pulled him down right into his lap enthusiastically. The hazel-eyed teen blushed slightly as he whirled around to meet those wonderfully captivating gray eyes and open a nonverbal conversation with the animagus, while the spectacled, messy-haired bloke at the floor intended to make considerably more noise.

"How very lucky I am that this is not discrimination at all", James snorted with heavy sarcasm, only merely surprised at Sirius' actions and far too busy pondering the grave injustice to notice how the other black-haired slowly wrapped his arms around their fellow Marauder and smiled wickedly.

Sirius didn't bother to reply to James' comment; hell, he made no sign of even hearing the other black-haired as he spoke. He just smiled very puppyish as he looked up at the other seventh-year that was now in his lap.

"Missed me, Moony?" he asked, somehow managing to sound both tender and teasing at the same time.

Remus' lips twitched ever so slightly as he decided to return in the same teasing tone. "Hm… not really", he lied with a smile.

"You lying bastard, of course you have!" Sirius exclaimed, and then reaching up to be able to continue on in a lower voice. "I know I have missed you…" he admitted quite unembarrassed about himself, making the bloke in his arms flush slightly again. "Now how've you been doing today, dearest friend of mine?"

The fact that he stressed the last word of the sentence surprisingly did not escape James. He frowned as he eyed his friend from head to foot, and shook his head in confusion.

"Seriously, Pads, what's with you and possessiveness today?" he asked with an eyebrow raised. "As soon as poor Moony here comes into the room you drag him out of everyone else's reach and call him yours. One would think he has no friends but you in the world, or possibly the other way around."

"Oh, but he is mine, James!" Sirius hurriedly exclaimed, almost sounding like he was being possessed. "You can't take him away from me!"

"Is that so?" James asked sceptically, casting a brief look at Remus, who had been yet to say anything, looking slightly uncomfortable with the way the discussion had developed. "Have you marked private ownership on him? Otherwise I'm quite sure it's up to him to decide…"

"As of a matter of fact, I have", Sirius claimed, interrupting his friend somewhat proudly, his hands suddenly darting up tugging at Remus' collar as if to prove something.

"Sirius!" the werewolf hissed at him warningly, squirming and capturing his hands to make him stop with what he was doing. "You're acting like a bloody girl, now stop it!"

The bloke spoken to gasped dramatically, as if utterly insulted.

"How could you even suggest that?" he deemed like the extreme drama-queen. "You know, you sure didn't complain about me being too feminine last night...!"

"Shut up, you!" the wolf growled and elbowed his friend as James watched with all the bigger eyes. "Or you're sure to get into so much trouble, you twat!" he threatened half amused.

"My my, Moons, what a language!" Black beamed, clearly all the more amused as this conversation developed. "I don't think I've ever heard you curse like this, and you're doing it because of me. I'm flattered!"

"Fuck you", the werewolf in question murmured with a small smile he was fighting to hide by turning his head away from the bloke behind him.

James stared like crazy at the two in the armchair in front of him, though he looked just about as amused as Sirius, even if he was obviously surprised about the not very Moony-like language.

"Mm, yes, I'd very much love for you to do that", Sirius claimed, batting his eyelashes in a very silly way. Though then, much to James' surprise, he slid his arms up across the other bloke's chest much too slow to be discrete. "Would be interesting having you top this time..." he said teasingly, but if he intended to add more, he was interrupted as the gryffindor in his lap made a very wolf-like growl and stopped him.

"Say one more word, you git..." he hissed, almost too silent for James to register it, which made Sirius make a sound very similar to his.

"Ah, love it when you use naughty words, Moony-kins", he smiled wickedly. "Not to mention all those other very lovely sounds I can have you make..."

"Self confident bastard", the werewolf murmured, though not managing proper dislike in his voice, making Sirius laugh against his neck.

"You love me anyway", the gray-eyed gryffindor whispered into Remus' ear, fully convinced to be right and furthermore determined to have this be proven evidently.

Sirius had clearly gotten something into his head. He knew Remus was worried about people's reactions if they would find out about them, and therefore he wanted them to be discrete, but the handsome Black wanted no such thing anymore; wished for quite the contrary, actually, in wanting to show his boyfriend off to the world and make sure everyone knew Remus was property of him and him only. Hey, look, I'm shagging the most delicious werewolf known to mankind. Touch him and you'll loose limbs.

At first when Sirius slowly raised a hand towards Remus' chest once more, seemingly looking to play with the other bloke's tie to relieve himself of boredom, it was no big deal to anyone – not in comparison to what the black dog had already done up until now, at the very least.

Remus himself was the only one suspecting this to be the opening for some truly not innocent events of the animagus' mind, and he had his wary suspicions proved as he was yanked down by the tie to come to Sirius' eye- and lip-level.

After meeting his secret boyfriend's eyes for no more than a split second he pulled away slightly – an obvious tone redder – still wanting to be discrete and act as if they were merely playing around. Having the very much coveted seventeen-year-old kiss him would most definitely reveal a thing or two, though. This was why Remus Lupin had absolutely no intention to...

A deep moan escaped him and a loud 'thump' was heard as Sirius had stroked his thigh and brushed his lips against the lycan's neck. Oh, bugger. Now, how would one make an excuse for this?

"Padfoot...?" he said as he let out a deep breath very slowly.

"Moony...?" was the other man's playful reply, and lord had it helped if the damn dog would be willing to cooperate with him for once.

"What are you doing?" he asked in a low but steady voice, praying to god for a proper answer of any non-perverted kind. Merlin was he disappointed.

"Why, seducing you, of course", Sirius explained happily, though still with the calm, next to husky voice and impish smile he always had when trying to talk his mate into things like these. "I thought you'd recognise it, seeing as how well it's worked earlier..."

James' eyes had now popped wide open again, but though mouth agape he still didn't say anything to interrupt what was playing forth right in front of his eyes. Remus could actually sense them now attracting more and more attention; he felt eyes being turned to him and the one in whose lap he was still sitting.

Frankly, it wasn't until now that the werewolf realized that Sirius was determined to bust them both and would not stop until he'd doubtlessly succeeded in doing so. There was just no way the brunette could win this, because everything he said, the other wizard would turn against him until he gave in.

Remus growled at the realization. Anger threatened to build up within him, and even though it was dying down just as quickly as the black-haired bloke's hands skilfully moved across every piece of bare skin he could find, he promised himself Padfoot wouldn't get an easy time dealing with him during the next few days.

"You're pure evil, do you know that?" he stated as a rhetorical question. "Very bad, Padfoot. I can't see how people could want you so badly."

"People like you, you mean?" Sirius asked innocently, taking no offense in what had been said but rather he was delighted to twist this around as well. "Not so big a mystery; I'm sure you already understand why. Though I have to admit you got me curious, Moons."

Remus raised an eyebrow, mildly curious himself at his lover's words.

"Really, now?" he asked, examining the black-haired bloke's carefully laid poker face without getting anything out of it. "And of what might that be?" he continued, knowing rather than suspecting that he was gonna have to pay for those words.

There was a dramatic silence full of electricity as Sirius reached up to have the other bloke's face turned towards him. Warm hazel eyes met thundery gray ones and the world outside of them seemed to disappear as the animagus opened his mouth, still wearing that roguish little smile.

"If I'm so very bad as you claim me to be, then I'd very much like to know this", he said, close to a whisper of a voice that inevitably sent Remus shivers and goose bumps: "What do you do to such a bad dog, Moony?"

This made Remus loose almost all of his inhibitions, and he could now very clearly sense exactly how turned-on Sirius seemed to be – obviously, as he still remained seated in the other Marauder's lap. This in combination with the words and the way Padfoot had been saying it made him groan, and his pupils dilated as his eyes were filled with the same kind of hunger as his mate so obviously was.

Though he instantaneously felt like jumping the bloke and get even closer to him than they already were, there was this one thing holding his true werewolf nature back. He knew now how Sirius must almost be suffering from his erection, and taking this to his advantage, he understood he could definitely get a rather exiting time of payback. The mere thought thrilled him, and so he put the highest effort in controlling and retaining himself.

"You'll be sure to see", he therefore answered in the exact same tone as the one Sirius himself had been using brief moments before – and indeed, the animagus instantly gave a sound of disapproval.

"I don't know if you've grasped it yet, Moons", he whined, "but patience is not one of my strong points."

"Well, too bad for you", Remus smiled uncaring, mercilessly enjoying this moment extraordinarily much. "This is my revenge", he informed, "and, would you know, it tastes incredibly sweet."

"Good for you", the other teenager replied, sounding dangerously close to have found yet another way of turning this whole thing around 180 degrees. "Though do I really have to remind you that I have other strong points, of which I'd be very happy to demonstrate to you once more?" he said with an arched eyebrow, teasingly brushing his lips against the brunette's jaw line.

Remus moaned, and the sweetness and glory of his recent victory was overshadowed as he realized that they were doomed anyway and there was nothing he was even willing to do about it anymore.

"Oh, damn it, Sirius Black!" Remus exclaimed with slight exasperation and loads of other fiery feelings. "Why are you always being such a tease?"

To this came no reply other than Sirius' lips being fiercely pressed against his own. They both groaned as intensity was worked up to the extremes; tongues darted out to caress each other eagerly and hands were twined into hair, cupped against necks or reaching inside of shirts.

This until Remus Lupin – much because of his growing erection and the equally growing need to relieve it – realized that they were being watched – no: stared at – by every single student in the common room.

This had him pulling away from his lover very reluctantly, gasping for breath as he acknowledged this discovery to him.

"Siri-us... There are... minors in here", he stated between the kisses said boy continued to try and give him.

To this, Sirius Black opened his eyes and looked around for a mere second before returning his attention to the bloke he was embracing, getting up after an instant of contemplating the major hard-on that was now painful against Moony's thigh.

"The dorms… now!" he loudly exclaimed before yanking the werewolf's clothing to have him follow just as hurriedly up the stares – bodies and lips crashing together and Remus' tie being ripped off halfway up.

James shook his head and desperately sought for distraction as his eyes had almost popped out of their globes and his chin was almost touching the ground by now. He looked around and reckoned that Peter must have passed out as soon as Sirius first brushed his lips against the other Marauder, judging by his memory of the thumping sound he'd heard in addition to him now discovering Wormtail's limp body on the floor next to him.

He then let his gaze wander of outwards, and discovered that everyone in the room – every conscious being, that is – was now staring at him… and most of the witches did this with a very angry glare; upset because it was now clear that two of the handsomest and most popular boys of Hogwarts was taken, he supposed.

"Hey, I knew nothing of this!" he said in defence, raising his arms into the air in surrender.

He didn't get why the girls would be so angry with him – as if they blamed him for not having warned them that his two best friends had hooked up, or even noticed it at all. Hell, the girls had no one to be angry with except themselves, or possibly the other two guys, but he – James Potter, mischievous Marauder and charming ladies-man – was innocent.

He was quite mad himself actually, about the two of his so called best mates never telling him anything about their situation. Though he had to admit, that sure was heck of a way of coming out of the closet.

Review - make my day! Comment on how you enjoyed this, or complain to me about my imagination - whatever, just hit the review button people. I want it. I want it.