The children of Hogwarts were seated for the Christmas feast, chatting vigorously amongst themselves, while the staff was at the end of the hall, waiting impatiently for Dumbledore.

"The feast should have started nearly 10 minutes ago," McGonagall stated impatiently to Snape. "Professor Snape, I beg you if you know where the headmaster is, please let us know."

"I have told you already, McGonagall, his absence is a mystery to all of us," Snape replied violently.

At that moment, Fawkes flew into the Great Hall carrying a note. Fawkes landed right in front of McGonagall and dropped the note, then flew back out.

McGonagall lifted the note and read it.

Professor McGonagall

I will not be attending this years feast. Please send Harry Potter to my office immediately and give the speech on the attached parchment.

Merry Christmas,

Dumbledore

"Harry Potter, please go to Professor Dumbledore's office immediately. As for the rest of you, I will be giving this year's speech, and the feast will then begin."

Harry left the Great Hall with rue, for he was starving and didn't want to miss his second-to-last Christmas feast at Hogwarts. He began ascending the stairs as McGonagall began giving the Christmas speech. He wondered why Dumbledore would miss the Christmas feast, and even more why he'd call Harry up without letting him even eat first. He reached the gargoyle and gave the password. When he entered the stairway, he could already tell something was definitely… different.

The floor had bits of something pink on it, and the walls of staircase were lined in red streamers. This was Christmas time, but these really didn't seem like Christmas decorations. The door to the office opened, and Harry was horrorstruck.

He saw the floor, a red carpet lining a path to the desk, the rest of the floor covered in pink rose petals. The windows had dark red blinds over them, and all the light came from candles on the desk. Incense that smelled like lemons wafted around the room. Worst of all was Dumbledore.

He was laying on the desk in a purple thong with dark pink crescent moons, laying on his side facing Harry, holding his head with one hand and holding his wand with the other.

"Hello Harry," Dumbledore said in an uncomfortably comforting voice.

"Professor, what is all this, I can barely see anything and I'm sort of uncomfortable."

"Harry, Harry, just come closer." Dumbledore flicked his wand and was (literally) lifted off his feet and started moving towards Dumbledore. He was finally put down about three feet away from the desk.

"Let's celebrate your 16th Christmas with a little fun, Harry."

"I would rather not, I want to eat. You see, I'm starving and… Professor…?" Dumbledore began sitting up and Harry stepped back a few inches.

"Come on Harry, don't be nervous, it'll be fine. You'll love me for it." Dumbledore smiled and flicked wand again. The candles went out and the room went dark.

Harry screamed.