Chapter One -

I knew it was a bad idea from the start. But, for some odd reason, my mind insisted that I did so. Though, I couldn't stop asking myself, 'Do I dare?' Would this just jeopardize the situation between Gale and I? Probably. That's how things worked. But as I helped Peeta through the weak spot in the fence that bordered District Twelve, and sat him in the same spot Gale and I shared in the woods, I felt somewhat guilty.

"I know I'm not supposed to be here," Peeta started. His calm voice still startled me in my deep thoughts.

"No, it's alright." I always had a problem with pushing my fears and thoughts aside. It seemed that every little thing that bothered me in life, that kept me up in bed at night, wasn't that big a deal to me. This, plus many, was what caused all of this mess.

"Whatever you say." Peeta went for one of the cheese stuffed rolls his father made in their bakery. We had brought a little picnic for ourselves to enjoy. Actually, "little" was a relative term. Little is what Gale and I brought on the day of last years reaping: a small amount of cheese and a loaf of bread. The food we brought today was plentiful of the new abnormal stuff only the kids in the Capitol and Victors could afford.

I watched him eat. Admiring his features was what I found myself doing most of the time when I'm with him. He chewed manner fully. Mouth closed and slow. I myself, and many from the Seam have forgotten all about manners. Some were never even introduced. I assumed he was always this way. Being one of the lucky few, he was born in a middle class family. A family who cared about manners. I on the other hand, had to learn due to the publicity after the Games. But when all the commotion was over, I tried my best to forget it all, and that included etiquette. Thus the reason I freely eat the chocolate dipped strawberry filled with some exotic jelly with an open mouth.

"So, how did you meet Gale exactly?" he pressed.

"I already told you the story."

"I know. But I thought that since we were here, you might want to talk about-"

"Nope." I cut him off. Gale was the furthest thing from my mind. Or was he the thing that haunted it. I couldn't tell anymore. All I knew, is that I didn't want to bother with this discussion.

Somewhere in the distance a bird chirped. At that moment, I thought of Rue. How she symbolized a mockingjay and how she died in my arms. Suddenly, the whole scenery reminded me of the Games. The woods, the small river flowing by. Even the shade the sky made resembled the horrid arena I was unwillingly, though more willingly than I thought-due to taking Prim's spot-,put in. I felt my eyes start the swell and wet. I was tired of this feeling. And this was not the time and place. Once the sparkling droplet slid down my cheek, I knew it was too late. And of course, my lover saw.

"What is it?" He leaned over, swiping the tear from my face with his thumb. Something a real boyfriend would do.

I buried my face in my knees, shaking my head.

"Katniss, why don't you ever talk to me? I know you don't love me, or like me at the matter, but I love you." That stung. I could feel myself wince a bit. "But please open up to me."

I decided he deserved that much. I did put him through hell. Playing with his heart. Practically embarrassing him in front of all of Panem. I lifted my head. "It's the Games."

He moved. He shifted his body to position right beside mine. He put his arm around me, holding me tight. I knew this was an invitation for me to lay my head on his shoulder. Something a real couple would do. And yet, I gave in. I relaxed my head, feeling comfortable and feeling as though we fit like a puzzle. Something a real girlfriend would think.

I took this as his understanding. He observed the same torture I did.

"I know, I know," he comforted. His hand started to stroke my arm; up and down, up and down. Usually, I would stop him from doing so, move away, and once again, push feelings away. But, oddly, I let him continue. I guessed this was what I was looking for; comfort and care. Things Gale never gave me anymore. Not even my mom. Prim attempted, but she was too young to understand. Peeta was perfect.

Funny, "perfect" was a term I never used to describe Peeta. Things were changing. It was the forest.

I realized the stroking stopped. I shifted my head to look at Peeta's face. He was staring blankly to the sky. Streaks of tears dripping off his chin. Great, just what I needed. Something else to make me feel guilty. His actions made it seem as though it was my fault. I brought up the Games. I brought him here. It's always my fault.

I moved and acquired another strawberry. The juices filling my mouth. I spoke, breaking the silence. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I caused all this."

"Huh?" He was playing dumb. I could sense it. Even though I wasn't like most girls, I still had the girl senses.

"I brought up the Games. I made you cry. I make you cry all the time. I don't like it. It makes me feel bad. You deserve more than what I give you. Why do you even love me?" I knew the ending was too much. By this time, I was standing. I suddenly spat out everything that was on my mind. But most of it was true. No, all of it was true.

I stared at him for a minute. His face was unchanged. Our eyes were locked until he looked down.

"Katniss, I love you because of you." Cheesy, corny, over used.

"I know everyone says that, but it's true. And it's not your fault at all." He looked up. Stood, moved closer, and we locked gazes once more. "And I'll never give up."

I didn't know what that was supposed to mean. Give up on what? The nightmares? His family? Me? Of course it was me. What else really.

I found out my accusations were true in the following ten seconds.

He grabbed both of my arms, drew me in closer than before, and touched skin to skin. I've kissed Peeta before, but there was only once when I felt something. Like a twinge or a nerve that craved more. This kiss was the same. His lips were moist with sweat, which I didn't mind. I didn't expect it, but wanted it at the same time. My eyes were closed, and I realized that my hands lifted around his neck. I tousled his blonde locks. This was something I would do to tease the Capitol. But there was no one around here. No cameras and no one to impress. This was all on my own.

He broke away. His eyebrows lifted as though he was surprised. I felt the heat in my cheeks and ears.

"Come on Catnip, let's go back."

My heart dropped. I had to get him out of here. Peeta was becoming more and more like Gale. And that was unacceptable.

Author's note:

Okay, I'm not meaning to sound like those noobs out there whose main goal is to get feedback, but I must for once. I need whoever reads this to tell me if I should continue. You don't even have to give me any comments or any of the sort. Just say like "yes" or "no". That'll make my life easier. I'm not going to waste my time with a fail project. I would greatly appreciate anything :)