As the Outcast Hears

"No one would listen
No one but her
No one
Heard as the outcast hears
Shamed into solitude
Shunned by the multitude
No one would listen
I learned to listen
In the dark, my heart heard music
I long to teach the world
Rise up and reach the world
No one would listen
I alone could hear the music
Then at last
A voice in the gloom
Seemed to cry
'I hear you'
'I hear your fears,
Your torment and your tears'
She saw my loneliness
Shared in my emptiness
No one would listen
No one but her
Heard as the outcast hears
No one would listen
No one but her
Heard as the outcast hears..."

I sat on the catwalk singing, my bare feet hanging over the stage. I had gotten away from the stable for the afternoon to watch rehearsal. I had taken off my hat and the corset that bound my chest flat. So I was, for once, myself.

I watched my best friend Josephine as she sang. She was just a choir girl but she was infinitely better than the current diva, La Esmeralda, who was almost as bad as La Carlotta had been three years ago. I smiled, she was the only one, other than my uncle/foster-father, Monsieur Reyer, who knew that I was a girl, as opposed to the boy the stable-master thought me.

As rehearsal came to a close I hurried down the ladder from the catwalk, being sure to put my hat and corset back on. I thought I saw a shadow on the catwalk above me, but on looking up I saw nothing. I shrugged it off and went to congratulate Josephine.

I stood in the eves and smiled as she came towards me. "You were amazing Josie."

"Thanks Alyx." My name was Alyxandra, but everyone at the opera house knew me as Alyxander or just Alyx.

"I still can't believe they haven't replaced La Esmeralda with you. You're so much better." When in public I was always careful to drop my voice about an octave and a half. My voice was lower than most women's, but not low enough naturally for a boy of seventeen.

"Alyx, you know the managers can't do that. La Esmeralda still brings in crowds. They've shrunk granted, but still."

"You'd bring in even bigger crowds though!" I sighed, "I'll talk to Monsieur Reyer tonight at dinner."

"You've done that before and the managers still haven't listened."

I sighed again. "I know you're right Josie. I just wish I could help somehow." I stepped back into the shadows as a group of ballet girls walked by. I was used to hiding by now. "I have to get back to the stable or Monsieur Lachenel will hit me again."

Josephine looked concerned. "I thought...I mean, it seems to be getting worse."

I nodded. "Has been since he started drinking. I don't complain though, he takes good care of the horses, we need him. The managers were lucky they could still keep him on after the fire, so many people left then, including most of the performers and stage hands. Only the really old stage hands and staff members stuck around, those that the Opera had become their life. Like Monsieur Reyer and Madame Giry."

Josephine nodded, "Go then. I don't want you in trouble on my account."

I smiled and left, arriving at the stables via secret tunnels. Again I though I saw someone behind me, but, upon turning around, saw no one. I shrugged. I stopped at the secret entrance at the back of Cesar's stall and slipped on my boots.

M. Lachenel was at the other end of the stable so I wasn't too worried about being caught. I stepped out of the stall and finished my chores for the day before seeking monsieur out.

"Monsieur Lachenel?"

"What?" Since the fire monsieur had become gruff and a drunkard, it was always wise to tread carefully with him.

"I've finished. May I have my pay for the week?" I extended my hand for my weekly 10 francs. It wasn't much, but Monsieur Reyer gave me twice that for my allowance. I was saving it all so that I could afford my own home when I was older.

Monsieur Lachenel whipped around, the alcohol sloshing in the half empty bottle. "Done already are you? How is that when you've been sneaking off? Don't lie boy I know you get away, what I don't know is how." He leered drunkenly. "But you're going to tell me aren't you boy?"

"I don't know what you're talking about monsieur. If you examine the stalls you'll see that they're perfectly clean." Before I had a chance to say anything else his fist caught my jaw and I went down.

I caught his boot before he could kick me and tipped him over. He hit his head on the way down and passed out. He was still breathing. I took my ten francs from his pocket and left, rubbing the sore spot on my jaw.

That evening I sat with Monsieur Reyer at dinner. It hurt to chew almost anything, but I did anyway. Monsieur noticed though, he always did.

"Alyx, what happened to your jaw?"

"Oh, that? I er...I ran into the corner of one of the stalls."

Monsieur raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

I ducked my head and blushed. I felt terrible for lying, but I had too. "Yes."

Monsieur sighed. "I will tell Lachenel to lay off his drink while he is at work. Hopefully that will lessen this kind of behavior."

"Thank you uncle."

He sighed. "Of course, I promised my sister I would take care of you. I've been doing my best. I know you thought that this was a good idea, buy I'm not sure anymore."

"It's fine. I handle it well enough. If you'll excuse me uncle, I'm tired. I think I'll go to bed."

"Of course dear." Monsieur rose and opened the door for me. "Take care will you? Oh! And here's your weekly allowance." He handed me the 20 francs.

"I will, and thank you uncle, for everything."

He smiled, "Of course Alyx." He closed the door and I went, by way of my tunnels again, to my room. Again I thought I sensed movement, but upon looking was mistaken.

"How strange." I muttered under my breath. When I got to my room I unlocked the door and quickly locked it again behind me. I took of my hat and shook out my short, curly brown hair. I removed the corset with a sigh of relief. "Damn I hate that thing." I said to the open air. I stepped behind a screen to change into a sleep shirt, all of mine were more like short dresses that came down to my knees. Most had been my father's.
When I stepped back out I looked in the floor-length mirror at the far end of my room and examined the forming bruise on my jaw. "Splendid."
I walked over to my small vanity to cover it up with some makeup that I kept for just this purpose. When I got there however I noticed a wild rose from the opera house garden. "How...?" No one but me had the key to my room, and I was fairly sure it hadn't been there when I had come in. I looked at the mirror. I knew this sign.

"Monsieur le Phantom? Come out please. I know you're there." There was no response. "Alright. I just hope you see fit to show yourself some day." I covered up my bruise, curled up in bed, and fell asleep to unearthly beautiful music.

*Erik POV*
I stood in the catwalks listening to her sing. Her voice was beautiful, lower than Christine's had been, but it was almost more beautiful because of that. Her song spoke to my heart. I knew the feeling that she put behind it. I had been watching her for some time, almost a year now, since I first heard her sing while she refurbished her room after the Opera House reopened.

I was shocked to discover the next day that she disguised her beautiful self as a boy to work in the stables. And horrified to learn that the stable master had become a drunkard and a brute, that he beat her regularly. Many times I wished to come to her aid, but she always handled the situation.

So for a year I watched over her, a secret guardian angel. I don't know what made me feel so protective of her, but I was. This day in particular though, I found myself watching her more closely. I watched her speak with her friend Josephine, and I considered sending the managers a note, she was very good after all, and I wanted Alyx to be happy. I called her this in the privacy of my own mind, for I knew I would never have the courage to speak to her in person. I had been too deeply hurt before.

I followed her to the stables and she almost saw me once, but I hid. She knew the tunnels and hiding places almost as well as I did, but not quite. I saw Lachenel beat her and her retaliation. I knew then what I should do. I went to the garden of the Opera House and picked a wild rose from the bush that grew there. That was what she reminded me of. I smiled, "My rosy angel", I whispered under my breath.

That night I followed her back to her room from her dinner with her uncle, Monsieur Reyer. Her room had an old two way mirror in it and while she changed I slipped in and placed the rose, still fresh, on her vanity. Just as I had slipped back behind the mirror she came out from behind the screen and looked into the mirror, she was examining her bruise, but through the mirror I met her eyes. She whispered "Splendid." under her breath and went to cover up the bruise as she had the others.

When she got there she saw the rose. "How...?" I could tell she was going through all the possibilities. Then she seemed to come to a conclusion. "Monsieur le Phantom? Come out please. I know you're there." I froze, she knew. She knew about me, but still wanted to meet me. How was this possible, what would an angel want with a demon? "Alright. I just hope you see fit to show yourself some day." I went to my lair to get my violin and played for her as she fell asleep. What should I do now?