Adoration, confidence, peace, satisfaction, trust, love, intimacy, indifference, distance, frustration, jealousy.

Loneliness, lies, confrontations, accusations, denial, confessions, confusion, betrayal, pain, anguish hate, condemnation.

Regrets, repulse, contempt, revenge, apologies, and consolation, reassurance, doubts, acceptance, recovery, forgiveness, second chances, Love? Maybe!

Pain is only real when inflicted on us by those we love.

Fall in Love

Bonnie

Okay so I have known Stephan for almost two years, and if you have ever wondered why I have never met Damon Salvatore before now, here is the reason. I have been in London as an exchange student for the past year. Tyler could not bear the thought of me being away for a whole year so he tagged along. We had such a blast, we were hoping that things would continue that way when we returned to Mystic Falls but meeting the older Salvatore has thrown a damper on things.

I was going to celebrate my belated eighteenth birthday with Tee, but Tyler was running a little late for our date so I persistently sipped on my juice. I looked up. Humph! Oh look at that poor girl giggling and melting in his arms, she's dinner and she just doesn't know it yet.

Damon

I was in mystic grill, so was Bonnie, I had a blond chick on my arm but Bonnie was there alone I watch as she tightened her grip on her bottle of juice till the glass shattered into tiny pieces. The waiter quickly made his way to her. "Ms…are you alright?"

She ignored the water, I watched …the rise and fall of her chest was so obvious from where I sat, I could see she did not like my sitting arrangement one bit. If I didn't know any better, I would say she was jealous.

She walked over to where I was with my soon to be meal and man she was as pissed as shit. She threw an accusing look at me, "Who the fuck is this thing?" she roared.

"Bonnie, does Tyler know you are talking to me? I'm surprised he let you out of the house alone." I watched as she picked up my drink and threw it in my face. Some of the drink splashed on the girl. Blondie jumped off my lap and tried to clean herself with some tissue.

"Tell this fuck head," gesturing and referring to the blond, "to leave this instance." Bonnie demanded.

The moment Bonnie spoke, I heard an accent come out of her mouth; then it hit me, she was not really Bonnie, she was somewhere in between a trance and reality. In one of our past lives, we met in Nigeria, her name was Kemi I'm certain I don't have to tell you this, do I have to tell you this? Things didn't end so well.

The girl rolled her eyes and bickered back, "And who the hell is this nappy headed jungle animal think she's talking to?" I didn't get a chance to warn blondie that she made the wrong move and said the wrong words.

The girl didn't leave, instead she tried to stand up to Kemi, big mistake! I almost forgot how vicious and rowdy Kemi could get until I saw her yank and drag the girl outside by her hair. It reminded me of a time we fought, she chased me around the neighborhood with an African spatula in her hand.

She pushed the girl on the floor of the dirty alley. "Stay down Ashawo." In Yoruba language, ashawo means prostitute. "This Jungle animal's name is Kemi, his girlfriend you little piece of shit and I'll show yu what Jungle animals do to tourist like you."

Great!. Thanks to the witch with an identity crisis, dinner is now officially over. Isn't this funny? The dead thinking she's undead.

Yep, that's my girl and she's fighting for me. I don't see Bonnie doing that in a million years; at least not any time soon. She was just about to stump on the girl's face with her four inch heel shoe when I wrapped her into my arms. "Kem, Kem, ololufe mi, ma binu babe." Kem, Kem, my love, don't be angry babe.

"Fi mi sile jo. Iwo ashawo okunrin." Leave me alone, you man prostitute.

Don't ask me how I got her to calm down and go home with me, I can't let you in all of my secrets. But you can take a wild guess but I swear I didn't need compel her to do anything.

I pressed my lips on her spine, making each touch linger a bit longer than the last one, I began half singing half humming in between kisses. yeah, yeah, you are my african queen, oooh lord, oooh lord

She got off the bed, just like old times, she still liked dancing naked to the sound of my voice."Danny, you still remember my song?" I clapped my hands to dim the room lights, she always loved dancing in candle lights, too bad they were downstairs.

I held her close, "Shhh baby, we can't break the mood."

just like the sun, lights up the earth, you light up my life
the only one, I've ever seen with a smile so bright
and just yesterday, you came around my way
and changed my whole scenery with your astonishing beauty

ah, you coulda make a brother sing,
you ordinary thing, a supernatural being,
and you are my African Queen, the girl of my dreams.
you take me where I've never been
you make my heart go ting-a-ling-a-ling, oh ahh
you are my African Queen, the girl of my dreams
and you remind me of a thing
and that is the African beauty yahhh

I know you are just brighter than the moon
Brighter than the star, I love you just the way you are.

(African Queen, 2face Idibia)

Ahhh, boy have I missed Kemi, she was a freak in the bedroom, she always spoke in tongues whenever we shagged.…..the only problem is that she's semi Bonnie.

As we laid back on the bed, I drew her closer to me with her waist, I snuggled against her tightly, "You were so hot when you were fighting all over me."

"I was?"

"Hell Yeh."

"You of all people should know that I would whop ya mama's arse if she tried to share you with me." She pushed her naked luscious butt against my bare groin, "Oh and Danny, if I ever see you looking or touching other girls like that again, I will cut off your dick and grind it in the garbage disposal."

"Ouch…that sounds terrifying."

"Daniel, I love you."

I smiled at her, "Really? can you say it again?"

"I love you. Is that so hard to believe?"

"Maybe…It's been forever since you said that to me. I just so happy to hear it again."

"I missed you….a lot. Seeing you brings back memories, good and bad."

"Can we stick with the good?"

"Yeah…I'm over the bad ones."

"Me too." Just like old times, although she tried to be sneaky about it, she grabbed me by the neck, wrapped her legs firmly around my waist and held me in a sleep clutch. We began to wrestle on the bed. Knowing the antidote to her hold, I began to tickle her till she was submissive. She pouted in between laughter, "You are no fun Danny, can't you at least pretend to let me win for once?"

I nibbled on her left ear and rustled, "Why do I always have to be the bigger man?"

She flipped me under her body, "Because I'm the badest bitch you'll ever love."

Between kemi and I, there was always a battle on who gets to sleep on top. She always said that sleeping beneath a man is for virgins who are too scared to express what they want.

She kissed me, slightly biting my bottom lip…..and that…that turned me on like crazy. She glided her hand between our bodies till she could feel my other Danny, I gasped as she gave it a gentle stroke. "I demand a consolation prize?" she mumbled breathlessly.

Kemi was a vocal person, she knew what she wanted, she demanded what she wanted and you'll be damned if you don't give it up because she'll take it.

I tried to flip her underneath, "Not this time," she warned and let out a subtle wicked laugh. As neither did want to stay at the bottom, an all out struggle for top position continued, the bed collapsed, the mattress literarily sunk into the bed frame….we both started laughing.

"Dang Danny, it must be a very sad day in the life of this bed. How many girls exactly have you had in it?"

"Do you really want to know?"

She shook her head, "Well I'm here now, and if any ass is getting tapped by you, it'd better be mine."

"Just as possessive as ever uh?"

"Just say the magic words Daniel." I knew the words she wanted to hear, but not yet. I had my own agenda which is to tease my way right back into that lovely puss.

Hmmm, I smirked. "What would those words be?" I attempted to put on her sex face with a semi -open mouth pout and gasped, "Ohh yeah danny," I grabbed my hair and tugged at it as she would, then I half-screamed, half-moaned with a girly voice. "Fuck me nice danny, that's the spot right there."

She chuckled then screamed. "That… is… so …not… my… sex face, voice? Maybe."

We were having a great time teasing and poking fun at each other until we heard the imposter's voice coming from the basement. "Common guys, give it up already."

She covered her face in embarrassment, "I think we woke up the folks downstairs."

"Oh it's just my brother and his silly girlfriend, they'll get over it."

"I didn't know you had a brother, but who cares? I'm a little spent and thirsty….but I could use another go at it."

She winked."Babe?"

"humm mh"

"Did your dick get bigger or did you learn to fuck better? Don't get me wrong, you were always awesome but this…." She closed her eyes and inhaled as if she was savoring the moment. "This was dynamite." She threw her head back and giggled. "You were dicklicious."

She thought I was dicklicious just what my already inflated ego needed. Should just I tell her I was a vamp and what we do best is screw, kick butt and suck blood?

I walked to the fridge, I was out of water. " Hold that thought and I'll be right back."

"Oi! Oi! You shouldn't go out like that….that's mine….all mine and I don't want anyone looking and conniving on how to claim it from me."

I grinned, "There's no one downstairs. Besides, you are right. I'm all yours, no one can change that if they tried." I bent over and kissed her on the cheek. "I love you babe…I just wanna get laid by you, it doesn't matter, top or bottom."

she playfully hit me in the chest, "Nice try Danny, I'm still sleeping on top…..Hurry up, or I might have to start without you."

"Don't even think about it." I rushed downstairs.

Just before I entered the kitchen, I heard Stephan and Elena almost arguing.

"Why don't we have sex like that?" Elena charged at Stephan.

"Maybe we would if you got over your obsession with my brother."

"No. I'm not obsessed with Damon, it's the other way around."

Nudity has never been a big an issue of mortification for me, so I majestically strolled in the kitchen. Elena gasped when she saw me….of course I was in all my manly glory, with my manly bits swinging to the west and eastside like grandfather's pendulum clock. Ignoring both of them. I got a bottle of chilled water and headed out. "Damon?" Elena called my name. I halted and looked back. "Who do you have in your room, and since when did you become Danny?"

"Since it's none of your business. Shouldn't you be concerning yourself with how to make my brother get one up instead of listening and fighting over my escapades?"

"Whatever. Can you guys just tone it down?"

"Pardon me Elena, I didn't mean to make her come so hard."

Stephan gave me the look of death while his girlfriend hissed and glared at me with contempt. " Well we don't need to hear the African chick screaming about how great you fill her up."

I smirked, "If I'm not mistaken, I don't think my brooding brother is lacking in that department…have you considered the fact that you are perhaps a little too wide for him to fill…..up?" I asked while pointing my thumbs up.

"Are you going to let him talk to me like that?" she looked up to Stephan, hoping that he would defend her. He did not defend her; instead he wanted to be all up in my grill. "Damon, if you truly care about ….. you know who, stop what you are doing with that girl and send her on her way now.

"Oh shut Stephanie. Does being with a Katherine look chick make you the authority on relationships?"

I was going to keep talking, but due to my sharp hearing skills, I suddenly heard a whimper coming from my room, I squeezed the water and flew upstairs, shutting the door firmly behind me.

Thinking she had come to as Bonnie, I called her name. "Bonnie, what's the matter?"

"You bastard son of a bitch." She shook her head and stepped back as I tried to touch her.

she looked at me with a tear stained face and pulled out a picture of Katherine from behind her. "You keep calling me Bonnie? Is Bonnie one of your whores too?"

"It's not like that?"

"Then what is it like because I don't understand how you can be with me and tell me that you love me but you keep referring to me as her."

For a sec, I thought she had forgotten about Kat. But then she looked at the picture again and busted out a whole new flood of tears. "You said she meant nothing to you."

"She didn't, she doesn't."

She smashed the frame on the floor, removed the picture and tore it into bits. "For a second, I thought we could go back to the way we use to be, I was lying to myself thinking that you would be the Daniel that I once knew….but silly me, I almost forgot that my Daniel once had his pants down and his cock in Katherine's throat."

"she enchanted me, I thought we were past that?"

"Enchanted or not, you knew how much you hurt me, and I thought I was over it, but you kept her picture as a trophy?"

"I'm sorry."

"Tell that to someone who cares." As she headed for the door, I ran towards it with vampire speed and blocked the exit. I had completely forgotten that I was human when we were together in Nigeria. She looked at me and shook in fear, she covered her mouth to stop a muffled cry from coming out. Great job Damon, congratulations on scaring the girl.

I knew my face had turned dark, I had to reassure her that she was safe with me. "I would never hurt you…please don't turn away…..dont be scared of me."

I soothingly brought her hand up and used it to touch my distorted face.

"Please tell me who did this to you?."

"Do you want the truth or the edited version?"

"Truth."

"Kat…..

"No…..don't mention her name. she was the reason we broke up and you let her do this to you."

"She compelled me." I had tried to touch her face but she slapped my hand away."

"Was that before or after you fucked her?"

I couldn't believe we were on this route again, "You wanted the truth, I gave you the truth, it's not my fault that you are too weak to handle it for what it was." I grinded my teeth, I knew I shouldn't have said that.

"I could handle anything with the exception of KatherinaWhore."

"Don't ca….."

"Don't what? Don't call her a whore?" she paused, arms akimbo. "There I was thinking we were making love but I guess it was just sex. Were you making love to her inside your head while you were having sex with me."

"Bonnie," I tried to touch her again. This time, she smacked me across the face, it drew blood from my mouth, I licked it off with my tongue.

"Don't call me your other whore's name."

I was starting to get ticked off, but then, this is what I get when my dead ex girlfriend comes back, thinking she's undead. "You know I get that you are mad, but I can get mad too, really mad." I screamed, "And slapping me every time you get pissed off is getting old." my fangs sprung out..

She reached for my right hand and removed the ring on my fourth finger, "You can't do that….you gifted it to me on our second anniversary." I protested.

"You know me… Kemi giveth and Kemi taketh. I realized that I'm too possessive and it's doing you no good. I'm just setting you free….completely. You can do whatever with whomever you want."

"Kemi, I like you they way you are, I don't want to be free of you."

"See that's the problem, you don't want to be free of your other whores too and I suck at sharing."

" I never asked you to share, you are not your mom and I'm not your dad."

"Don't you dare bring my dad into this…..at least he died protecting me which is much more than I could ever say of you."

"He was the one who put you in danger by trying to marry you off to that rich pot bellied king in the first place."

"And I didn't marry him did I? And where were you when I was losing the baby, our child? Where the fuck were y…

What baby?

Forget I said anything, it was nothing, shit happens and people get over it and they move on.

"You were pr…..uhhh" I became sick to my stomach, it felt like someone punched me in the guts. "It was mine just as much as it was yours. You…we had a fight and you concluded that I didn't deserve to know that I was about to father a child ...that I had lost a child?"

"OH GO TO HELL, YOUR PSYCHO BITCH WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LOSS. I CAME HOME AND WHERE DID I FIND YOU…..YOUR PANTS WAS ON THE FLOOR WITH KAT ON HER FUCKING KNEES. You know what? I'm glad I had a miscarriage."

"Were you ever going to tell me."

"No. Not in a million years, I was glad to be rid of you or anything that would be a reminder."

"Get out…NOWWWW."

"Don't bust a vein Daniel, I was just about to leave."

She put on the rest of her cloths and adjusted her makeup. She looked at me and I instantly recognize that glare. "This is the last time I will ever give myself to you…..this is the last time you will ever see me again. I hate you and I will never forgive you for this."

With that, I watched like a moron as she left. Then it came to me about forty-five minutes later, I remember what had happened in Lagos, Nigeria. She had just caught Katherine and I together, we had a big fight about it but she never told me anything about being pregnant. Her body was found floating on the Lekki beach the six days later. It felt like the present was imitating the past and I had to stop it from happening.

I should have know the truth is sometimes best kept as a secret.

As I got to the only beach in Mystic Falls, I could see her from a distance, her head was barely above the water. I dove in to get her, she struggled and tried to wiggle her way out of my grip.

If she was in her Bonnie mode, she might have been able to do that. But since she's Kemi right now, her strength isn't much to contend with. . "I won't lose you again," I screamed.

I forcefully dragged her out of the water. She laid on the sand, panting and sobbing, and trying to regain control of her breath. She tried to get up but I gripped both of her hands against the sandy shore and held her down. "You…are you stupid? Are you crazy? Are you insane? Have you lost your damn fucking mind? Why can't you just forgive me?" I could feel some saliva flying out of my mouth from my yelling but I didn't care. "Why can't you just forgive me?"

"Because we had everything and damn, it was so good….having my parents as role model, I decided not to ever love anyone. But you were something different, special, you drew me in. You loved me..and I loved you back. It…we was so gooooood, wasn't I a good girlfriend."

"You were."

"Was there anything you wanted that I didn't do or give to you."

"No there wasn't."

"But you threw it all away didn't you?"

"And I will make it up to you for the rest of our lives. I almost lost you again…..god! you can't keep doing this…you have to forgive me. Katherine is someone that I have to deal with temporarily, I will get her out of our lives as soon as I can."

"So she's still in your life!" She nodded and looked away; I let go of her right hand then turned her face so she would look at me. "I need you to trust me on this. Can I trust you not to do anything stupid again?"

"Yes." She nodded.

I didn't care if she was Kemi, Lisa, Jez, Ann, or Bonnie, or all of them combined; I just knew that I had to keep her safe, I had to keep them all safe. Saving her is saving myself.

I hugged her and buried my head in her hair. " I love you. No matter what I did in the past, or the mistakes I'll make in the future, nothing can ever change that." I trembled, and a few tears slipped.

Okay…now I have lost my Vamp street cred with you but shhhhh don't tell anyone that I'm doomed and I get all weak when it comes to the matters of the heart.

As I sniffled she gently pulled back and lifted my chin up with a finger. "Don't cry…I won't do it again. I pro…"

I saw her eyes in the moonlight, they changed from a shade of bright hazel to florescent green. I knew that Kemi had disappeared and Bonnie is back.

She snapped out of the semi-trance and looked at herself then me. "Hew..she pushed me away. What are we doing here at this time and why are we wet?" she asked.

She looked at my face and touched it, it was stained with blood. She gasped, "Oh my god are you crying? What happened?" I quickly got up and tried to get away but she pulled me back unto my knees. We were staring at each other at almost the same eye level; she then did something impulsive, she hugged me and inhaled me. "I despise blood, but just this once…" she kissed me on the cheek and continued "Damon, can I make you feel better?" I nodded.

"I'm going to make you feel better, okay….I'm going to kiss you now." She pulled back in slow motion, her lips grazed mine softly and quickly, it ended as if it never began.

I looked at her and mumbled and silent thank you. She pulled me up and didn't let go of my hand, she toyed with it for a few seconds then she wiped the blood off my face with her second hand. "It's okay if you can't tell me what happened to you. It's okay if we pretend today never happened and I never saw you cry. This will be our little secret."