Up on the roof of the train again, Count Bleck stood firm. He was squeezing Dimentio's hand, partly as a gesture of comfort and partly to keep him from escaping. Count Bleck took a deep breath and then bellowed into the void, "Tell us what you want!"

After a pause, the voice returned: "THIS DOES NOT CONCERN YOU. GO BACK INTO THE TRAIN."

"It does concern me," the Count called back, "as I am on this train as well."

Dimentio glanced around, then stood up on his toes and whispered into the Count's ear, "It's coming from over there."

Count Bleck turned to the left and squinted. "What are you looking at?"

"This dimension isn't very big, but there's a thick purple haze," Dimentio said, "and it makes it look like we're alone for as far as the eye can see. But I can see through dimensional trickery like a seasoned behavioral psychiatrist observing his patient through a two-way mirror."

Count Bleck floated off the top of the train and down to the ground. He beckoned for Dimentio to come with him, and they both traveled forward very slowly. Soon Count Bleck could make out a round shape hunched over. He hoped that it did not see them.

"IN ONE MINUTE I WILL RELEASE THE SMORG!" The booming voice was even louder than before.

Count Bleck reached through the fog and tapped the shape gently.

"Buh!" The shape jumped up and spun around.

Count Bleck's jaw dropped. "Lord Crump?"

"What are you doing here!" It was Lord Crump, formerly of the Secret Society of the X-Nauts, in all his goggle-faced, red-caped, purple-horned, black-bodied white-Xed glory. "You weren't supposed to leave the train! It's a void out here!"

"This is exactly like my dimension," said Count Bleck.

"Not that it matters," said Lord Crump. "I'll just release the Smorg anyway! Buh! Buh huh huh!" He stepped aside to reveal a large, shaking treasure chest. "Go, MIASMA!"

The treasure chest opened in a flourish, and Bleck and Dimentio were momentarily blinded by a swirling mass of deep gray. When sight returned, they saw it was already enveloping the train.

As soon as the Smorg grabbed the train, it began to shake.

"What's going on?"

"Aah!"

"Help!" Ratooey cried. "It's got me!"

Schlurp. He was sucked right into the heart of the writhing miasma, pulling him down its long body through the passages of the train.

Count Bleck zoomed into the room. "What did it do?" he demanded.

"It took the Ratooey!" Tippi shouted over the din.

"Chunk it!" Bleck shouted.

"I'm on it!" O'Chunks agreed.

"Why him?"

"His briefcase," said Nastasia. "Yeah, so he was transporting some important samples of experamental hot sauce for further testing."

"Hot sauce? This is about hot sauce?"

"It's so hot it explodes!" shouted Mr. L.

Dimentio appeared beside the Count. "With the dimensional revealed to him through the Dark Prognosticus and the prototype of a powerful new explosive he could revive the X-Nauts to their former glory and finally accomplish their old goal."

"I seriously don't believe it," Mr. L continued. "It was about him this whole time."

"Mimi, can you attack this thing?"

"On it! Mimimimimimimi!"

"Seriously, I never would have seen it coming."

"Mr. L! Scramble on the outside and pull the passengers out of the train through the windows."

"Oh! Right."

Count Bleck lifted up his hat. "Timpani, follow him and tell him who's in which room."

"Sure thing, my love." She fluttered up to him and gave him a quick peck before they parted.

"Nastasia, watch the bumpitys."

Pennington was already hiding behind her, as she was completely stationary. Herringway was pressed against the far wall, glancing up frequently from his notebook on which he was scribbling in shorthand.

"What shall I do, Count?" asked Dimentio.

"Surprise me," said Bleck. He put one hand over his mouth and nose area, closed his eyes, and dove into the miasma.

"Count, it looks like you just surprised me."

Inside the miasma it was hot and stinky. A thousand wriggling tickles touched him all over his body. It was almost exactly like being in a pit of restless snakes or spiders, and if Count Bleck was a naturally phobic man this would have been the end of him. The smorg moved with a natural current, though. Bleck felt it out and went downstream like a baby salmon.

Soon he could hear a tiny voice whipering. "Help... please help me..."

"Keep your mouth closed!" Bleck called through his hand. "You don't want to know what these things taste like!"

Ratooey whipmered.

"Comin' through!" Bleck heard Anti-Guy shout. Suddenly the patch of Smorg next to him exploded, and he saw the shy guy's black mask looking at him. He was surprised to see Bleck "Anyone else in there I should know about?"

"I'm going for Ratooey," said Count Bleck before the smorg swarmed back over the empty patch.

"I'll try not to hit you!" Anti-Guy called as Bleck smorg-swam away.

Further up the train, he heard loud karate shouts. "Yah!" "Hi-yah!"

"Not like that, doofus, use your magic."

"Sounds like the Koopa Kids are making themselves useful," thought Count Bleck as he moved past the shouting, trying to avoid any stray koopa blows.

"Daddy is going to flip out when he hears about this," said Wendy Koopa.

"He's gonna be so proud," said either Iggy or Larry, Count Bleck couldn't tell the boy's voices apart.

In the engine of the train, Count Bleck popped out of the mess. There was Ratooey, clutched tight near an assembly of purple smorgs making up a sort of head for the hive mind. "Help me!" he whined pitifully.

"Don't worry, you're perfectly safe." Count Bleck didn't expect to hear Dimentio's voice here, but darned if it wasn't right above him. And with Dimentio there to provide it, of all things. Dimento looked down at Count Bleck and smiled. "Did I surprise you, my Count?"

Count Bleck smiled back. "Not a bit."

"Hi-ya!" Iggy Koopa, launched by a heave from O'Chunks, flew into the room and landed shell-first into the heart of the smorg. Anti-Guy came flying in second, though under his own power. This hit knocked Ratooey loose, and Count Bleck dove and caught him.

The treasure chest came flying through the window, smashing it open for Lord Crump to then leap dramatically through. "You can't stop the smorg!" he cackled gleefully. "Nothing can stop the smorg!"

"Except for Mario," said Anti-Guy.

"Oh, yeah," said Crump.

Count Bleck set the shaking Ratooey gently down on the ground.

"Too bad you forgot one thing when you stole that evil book," said Dimentio airily.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" Crump sneered.

"That I have read it, too!" Dimentio threw his arms out. The dimension seemed like it was spinning, then, suddenly, rapidly, the individual smorg started to disappear.

Schwing! Schwing! Schwing! Schwing! Schwing!

In the empty space where the smorg once was now stood the Engineer, spitting out something from his mouth.

All the passengers were here now, all the minions and train workers. They formed a tight, unbreakable circle around Lord Crump. "Oh, crump," he mumbled.

"Shall I send him to where I sent the smorg?"

"No," said Count Bleck. "Throw him out of the train- and then let's get back on track."

O'Chunks picked him up by the arms and hurled Crump out the nearest window. As he flew through the air he called, "If Grodus asks be sure to tell him I triiiiiiied...!"

For their services to the railway, Count Bleck and co were awarded the Golden Spike Award for their service to the Excess Express. All the passengers arrived safely at their destination, and in one piece. After five days in Poshley Heights, the group returned to Castle Bleck. No further incidents happened on the way back. However, there was one small exchange that took place between Count Bleck and his minions, sans Dimentio, on the last night of the train ride, as they all sat in the same compartment.

"You know," said Tippi, "We haven't figured out what this means for us and Dimentio."

"I don't believe anything should change," said Count Bleck idly. "He will always have his own agenda, and us ours."

"But should we trust him?" Mimi asked.

"Give him the benefit of any doubt," said Count Bleck. "When mistrust drives a wedge and suspicions run high, we can be no better than Detective Pennington and his random accusations. Yet it would be foolish to disregard his past actions, taking nothing of his history into account. It's prudent to look back as you go forward."

O'Chunks scratched his head. "Eh... yer not makin' any sense, Count."

"I suppose I'm not."

"I think Count Bleck means we should let Dimentio do his own thing and not assume he's playing us all like puppets."

"After all, said Count Bleck, it was neither Dimentio nor Lord Crump that turned us against each other. Would we have been able to see this coming had we not been distracted? Probably not. In any case..." He tapped his chin with the jewel of his cane as he thought. "You've proven recently that you can be very mature... and the mess has taken care of itself... when we get home, I will restore your cola privileges on a trial basis."

"All right!"

"Yeah!"

"Whoooo!"

"And next time, we'll take the Warp Zone when we need to travel."