SPOILERS FOR 5.22 – DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED IT YET.

Thought I would jump on the Swan Song bandwagon. I know that we see a certain someone at the end, but I thought about how Dean might feel after a few weeks, when everything has settled down. I'm sure I don't do it justice but hey, I'm only playing with this.

As before, I don't own any characters that you've heard of, I just like to toy with them every now and again!

You Made Me Proud

Dean paced up and down the kitchen, "You'll wear a hole in that floor," Lisa remarked, trying to break the tension in the air.

Dean looked at her, noticing the concern etched across her face, "I need to get out…" was all he said. Lisa nodded her acknowledgement as he quickly gathered his keys and flung on his jacket. She was getting quite used to this. It would happen probably every other night. Dean would get super- antsy, and would have to drive to goodness knows where, then arrive back home in the middle of the night. She didn't know where he had been but at least he wasn't out getting drunk every night. She sighed deeply when she heard the familiar roar of the Impala as Dean took off.

Dean floored the accelerator as he headed down the deserted road that led to a local beauty spot called 'Welcome Point'. He had found himself there a number of times in the last few weeks since Sam…Dean cast a glance over to the painfully empty passenger seat, as he had done every time he drove the car. The familiar feeling of loneliness and sadness washed over him yet again. This caused him to push his foot down on the pedal even more. When he reached 'Welcome Point', he pulled into a dark, deserted corner of the car park. He sat there for a while, staring. Then he dragged himself out of the car, grabbing a bottle of beer on the way. He settled himself on the hood (?) of his baby and looked at the scene in front of him. He had parked overlooking the city, so he had the twinkling of the city lights in the dark just below him. After taking a quick drink of his beer, he laid back gently so that all he could see was the star filled heavens above. He was glad of the darkness that was surrounding him, smothering him in a massive embrace almost as if it was trying to chase away the feeling of desolation that he could feel settling over him.

He found himself thinking back to the time when he and Sam had just managed to get away from that redneck family who had taken Sam prisoner, to use him as hunting fodder. He felt a shiver run through his bones as he recalled what he had seen in the house, the instruments of torture, not to mention the photographs of their victims – one of which would have been his little brother. After they had managed to get the Impala back, Dean had driven away like a maniac. He had wanted to put as much distance from that place as possible. That night, they had pulled up in a spot, not unlike the one he now sat in, and they had both laid on the hood with their backs against the windscreen just staring up to the stars. No words were spoken by either of them during this time. They were both just glad to be together again.

Dean took a mighty swig of his beer as the hopelessness of the situation seeped through him yet again.

As he looked to the heavens, a star streaked across the jewelled sky. Dean caught his breath, "Wish that was you Sammy…" He said quietly, not for the first time wishing that his brave, little brother was up there schmoozing with Cas and his cronies – because, quite honestly, the alternative didn't bear thinking about. He couldn't think about it…yet he did!

Instead, he found himself remembering what had happened on that fateful day all those weeks ago…how long ago was it? Dean recalled how he had driven slap bang into the middle of the angelic showdown. He had hoped to have spoken to Sam – his Sam, not the one who was wearing him. It had all gone pear shaped very quickly, when 'Lucifer' became bored with it all and wanted it to end. He shuddered as he remembered Cas and Bobby's demise and the beating he suffered at the hands of his 'brother', although he knew that it wasn't really his brother. Sam was inside fighting for his life…for the world. He remembered how, after telling Sam over and over again that he would never leave him, something had stopped him in his tracks. He'd ceased his beating of Dean and just stared. Suddenly Sam took control - over the devil! A myriad of emotions had flooded Sam's face in that one minute of respite. Repulsion, realisation of the mammoth achievement he had made, "It's ok Dean, it's gonna be ok…" He'd said, "I've got him."

Then the fear had taken over his face – an expression that he had never wanted to see on Sam…ever. He'd looked one final time to his big brother for guidance. Then there had been a slight incline of the head, as if to say, 'this is it, I'm doing this'. Dean had reciprocated with a small nod of his own, even though his whole being was screaming against it. Then that was it…reality. After that it had become a blur for Dean. He remembered Sam ready to go, then Michael in Adam's body became involved, then they were gone - both of them. All that was left was the eerie silence of the cemetery.

He closed his eyes as tears, yet again, threatened to fall from his eyes. There was another feeling coursing through him, one that he hadn't experienced that many times…pride. Although it went against everything that he had ever been brought up to do, he had let Sam make his own decision to save the world…and he had, even though in the process he had ruined Dean's own world, but because of that he was immensely proud of his little brother.

Finally he opened his eyes, searching the heavens for a sign…anything that could give him hope that Sam was somehow ok. He started as another shooting star streaked across the jewelled darkness. He raised his bottle to the sky, "Sammy…I know I've never said these things to you, but I need you to know that I am so proud of you. I miss you more than I ever thought I could. You're my wing man, my back up, but more than anything you're my baby brother. God, listen to me getting sentimental in my old age…" He laughed to himself as he scrubbed a hand across his face, "You made a choice and it was a good one, even though I hate myself for saying this, but I back you all they way. I love you Sam…always," he finished in a whisper. Suddenly from out of nowhere, a warm breeze whipped through the trees. To Dean it almost sounded like a heavenly chorus. He chuckled quietly to himself, "To much beer…" he mumbled. As the breeze wrapped around him, Dean couldn't help the slight smile that graced his lips, as a feeling of calm and peace cocooned him. Not for the first time that night, he closed his eyes in order to fully appreciate the feeling. Unfortunately for him, as he did this, he failed to notice the tall, lone figure that had stopped in the shadows. It glanced his way, then slowly began to walk away, with tears glistening on the cheeks and the hair swirling in the breeze…